I’m tired of waiting!!

Anonymous

November 20,2022 at 1:47PM UTC

Welcome to Fairygodboss!

We’re the largest online career community helping women achieve their career goals. Gain access to articles, jobs, events, and a supportive network of women and allies. Membership is free, always.

I’m tired of waiting!!

I’ve been interviewing with a company for over 3 weeks. Met with all peers on the team, my direct manager as well as her manager, and more. It was insinuated that I was getting an offer multiple times. The highest up person that interviewed me said verbatim “well, if you’re meeting me it’s a good sign so unless you bombed this, you can expect an offer haha”. That was Tuesday. Since then I’ve only had communication with the lower level HR person whom also said “He said the conversation was really great and we’re working on next steps of the offer, be back to you asap” and that was Thursday. It’s now Sunday. I’m exhausted by refreshing my email every 20 mins. If I don’t get this job, they shouldn’t have lead me on! Any advice or kind words from others whom have gone through this would be greatly appreciated!

EDIT: I’ve since gone back and looked at my emails and my first interview was actually 10/6. I thought it was about 4 weeks it it’s over 6. Either way, I now realize I need to be patient, as difficult as it is!

EDIT 2: I got the job! Pending my background check of course but I don’t think that’ll be a problem. Thank you all for your kind words, support and wisdom. The FGB community has been a life savor this last few months!

Why women love us:

Daily articles on career topics
Jobs at companies dedicated to hiring more women
Advice and support from an authentic community
Events that help you level up in your career
Free membership, always

55 comments

Share your insight

Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.

55 Comments

Join the conversation

AnonymousNovember 20,2022 at 1:55PM UTC
If you're actively searching, just do what you do without an offer. Maybe email on Monday checking in, but either they changed their mind of it just takes a long time. Good luck and enjoy Sunday. You can check email this afternoon and then on Monday!
Jacquelynn LucasNovember 20,2022 at 2:12PM UTC
I understand the combination of excitement/anxiousness with this type of thing. It technically has only been one day (Friday). They don't work on weekends... so they probably pulled together the offer and they sent it to the decision makers. It will likely take till Tuesday or Wednesday. If you are that impatient, send a check in email on Monday to see what their timeline is. Good luck with everything!!
Julie Ann WilliamsNovember 20,2022 at 6:06PM UTC
I'd caution about being *too* eager though, as it can come off as pushy and may cause them to question if they want that dynamic on their team. It has only been one day - give them a week (minimum) before you do any additional follow-up.
AnonymousNovember 20,2022 at 2:28PM UTC
I understand how frustrating the process can be however you should consider how reasonable your expectations are. If your last communications was Thursday and it is now Sunday that is one working day only. Most companies need to check on the final offer amount with the hiring manager, if they want to offer above their approved range they will require further approvals and then there are references to check. Most companies only check references at this stage, before making an offer. I have seen reference checks take between 8 to 10 days. I can tell you this is also very frustrating for the hiring manager particularly when they know the candidate to be the right one and they want to move forward. Take comfort in knowing you did a great job on the interviews, I would never tell someone they did well or should expect an offer if that was not a very strong possibility, provided there were no issues with the reference checks. The pace of the company, several interviews in the period of 3 weeks, plus the positive feedback seems to indicate a pretty fast hiring process based in my experience, even if it doesn't feel so when you are the one waiting. I wish you all the best, try to take your mind off the response at least for today, you have done wonderfully so far. Do let us know when you get the offer!
Maggie PandalianoNovember 20,2022 at 4:05PM UTC
Your response is so wonderfully written, thoughtful and helpful. Thank you!
Julie Ann WilliamsNovember 20,2022 at 6:04PM UTC
I was going to comment along similar lines, but I wouldn't do it nearly as elegantly. :) All of this is spot.on. As frustrating as it can be, there are A LOT of approvals in the hiring process. Three weeks of interviewing seems fast, and definitely more than reasonable. Please be patient and give the hiring managers and HR some grace - you are very likely only one of many people they're working to hire or get offers out to.
AnonymousNovember 20,2022 at 8:16PM UTC
As hard as this may be, try not to get too emotionally involved in a single opportunity. Until you get a written job offer, it is just an opportunity. Unfortunately, even after you get a written job offer, be cautiously optimistic until your first day of work. You're not HIRED until your first day of work. Many companies are going through headcounts and other financial decisions that could be impacting the timeline of their offer. We're also heading into the end of the quarter for some companies. Their business has to go on in spite of the hiring process. I don't mean to be harsh, but I do want you to take those things into consideration before you overreact or jump to conclusions that may not be true. If you look for another position, what's the worst thing that could happen? You might get TWO job offers around the same time! That actually happened to me a few years ago! The first company took over 3 months before they finalized their offer. In that time, another company swooped in and completed the interviews and gave me an offer for MORE money in 2 weeks! The first company actually wanted to turn it into a bidding war but I politely turned them down.
AnonymousNovember 21,2022 at 7:30PM UTC
Great advice, thank you!
AnonymousNovember 20,2022 at 4:22PM UTC
Try to be patient. It really took me from April 1 applying to right after Memorial Day to receive my actual acceptance. Some HR departments are slower than others. Or it could be they are trying to connect for approval with manager or higher for salary offer or reference check, so it is delaying the process some. Get outdoors and do something fun for the weekend! Sounds promising given you ROCKED the interviews! Best of luck to you!
AnonymousNovember 21,2022 at 7:28PM UTC
Thank you so much!
AYANNALYSENovember 20,2022 at 5:21PM UTC
Sounds to me like you are a placeholder I would start looking for another position ASAP and not wait around.
AnonymousNovember 20,2022 at 6:33PM UTC
In my experience, people who seem to delay are not going to hire you. Give it till Tuesday, reach out, and then move on.
AnonymousNovember 21,2022 at 7:28PM UTC
This has gone through my mind. I do hope you’re wrong in this case though!
AnonymousNovember 21,2022 at 4:44AM UTC
I understand the frustration but if you are tge one then you need to give them plenty of space and time. There is no urgency on their part so just understand that they will only move on their time not yours.
Jackie GhedineNovember 21,2022 at 1:13PM UTC
The job search is extremely exhausting and frustrating and the wait is the worst. I will say, as someone who works with women throughout the interview process, the waiting game is real. There are so many layers to an offer, especially in this economy and climate. Plus, with Thanksgiving week, many stakeholders could be taking off and getting things finalized could be a headache. I had a client get a written offer for a big tech company and she had to wait 3 1/2 weeks for her background check to go through. Unfortunately, the timelines and processes are slow. Sit tight.
AnonymousNovember 21,2022 at 2:46PM UTC
So, my company is currently hiring.
This is what is happening.
Every time there is an interview, we fill out a survey. That goes back to the HR person assigned to the 'case'.
This HR person then has to ask the manager if they want to proceed (they click 'yes' or 'no'). If they say "Yes" then notifications are sent for the next round of interviews or the next step.
The person assigned to the case then arranges a suitable time to meet or compiles paperwork for a next step.
This happens for every...single...person we interview and to move to an offer this has to be completed for everyone in the process.
This week, the guy assigned to the case is out for Thanksgiving so everything is on hold.
In other words, it is frustrating as all heck, but is not an indication of your quality or an attempt to "lead you on".
The hiring system may just be inefficient, redundant, or someone who needs to click a button is out of the office.
But, I am sorry this is happening to you. This happened to me before I was hired for my current role and I literally cried nearly every night.
AnonymousNovember 21,2022 at 7:26PM UTC
Thank you for your explanation and kind words! I’m glad you found a role!!
AnonymousNovember 21,2022 at 5:34PM UTC
Did they ask you to provide references? Have you called your references and ask if they've been contacted by a company rep? That was my hold-up. It was worth my patience. I love my new job. The holidays are another hold-up. Even while I waited for this offer, I continued to apply for other positions though. Good luck!
AnonymousNovember 21,2022 at 8:03PM UTC
Let it go - by that I mean, stop fixating on it and let it come. The company will not be rushed by your timeline. Let them know that you are still interested, and ask about the next steps, then back off. In the meantime, keep up your job search. It's like dating, you can't make someone call you back. Either they will or they won't and you're not in control.
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 12:01AM UTC
Maybe reset your expectations. With all due respect, three weeks isn’t a lot of time. Please be very cautious in not coming off as impatient in your outreach.
For perspective, the job I’m in now: their first outreach was the beginning of July and my start date was the middle of October. I know this may not be typical so I focused on forward movement and regular communications rather than checking an arbitrary box on timing.
Plus, we’re coming up on a holiday and many people will be spending time with their families. I know this is frustrating so pls try to be patient. Best of luck in your search.
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 12:26AM UTC
Give the company a chance— it’s been less than a week since your last interview, correct?
.The H.R. person told you that an offer will be extended. That bodes well, so relax.
Know that getting an offer together often takes time. Move on with your life, knowing that you did a fabulous job in the interview process.
If you’ve not heard from the company in another week or two, casually check in on status with the H.R. person (an e-mail is fine.) The last thing you want to do is put pressure on the company— pressure will only work to your detriment.
If the job somehow does not happen, chalk this up as a very positive experience. You wowed this company and will wow others, too.
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 9:06AM UTC
Here's hoping you've heard back and are considering an offer that meets your expectations!
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 1:29PM UTC
Sometimes corporations are slow especially around the holidays
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 1:37PM UTC
Depending on the position you’re seeking, three weeks for the process is not all that long. Your last interview was a week ago. If you are in the US, you have to take into consideration this is the week of Thanksgiving. Processes can take time. I’d encourage you to find a distraction rather than obsessively checking for updates. My instincts tell me that if you are the one (it sounds like you are) an offer won’t come until next week. Hang in there.
MikNovember 22,2022 at 1:37PM UTC
3 weeks... I wish the hiring processes I am into were that quick
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 1:40PM UTC
I would recommend patience. It may not seem right or fair but the hiring process, especially at larger corporations can take time. More time than you think. Corporate machines do not move quickly and if you are expecting them too, you are setting yourself up for frustration and disappointment. This company may not be the best place for you to be.
rgstaffing@bellsouth.netNovember 22,2022 at 1:41PM UTC
Sometimes the size of the company matters. Sometimes it gets hung up in Legal.
Diane CohenNovember 22,2022 at 1:43PM UTC
Take a breath- It's a holiday period- that slows everything down.
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 1:45PM UTC
It’s Thanksgiving week in the US. The chances of every single person who’s involved in the hiring process being in the office all week, is very slim. Add at least one week to the time frame when the offer comes through. Bad timing but hopefully you’ll hear something between Thanksgiving and Christmas. But, if it’s Christmas week, and you still haven’t heard anything, I would start looking elsewhere.
Meredith EisgrauNovember 22,2022 at 1:50PM UTC
I'm offering this with love and support --- just breathe deep, this isn't about you.
There are usually many moving parts around making an offer. There may be external stakeholders who need to approve, as well as putting together a fully comprehensive package for you. There may be a reorganization of teams that require conversations.
Be patient on this, it'll serve you many times over in the future. Let us all know how it turns out.
Have an amazing holiday!
Afo Ogbeyalu KaluNovember 22,2022 at 1:52PM UTC
I agree with the comments listed in this thread, namely that the timeframe you shared is not a long one, that companies typically take a longer period of time to make a determination, and that the Thanksgiving holiday should be taken into consideration. I also would add for consideration that the company may be waiting for background check information and references submissions.
Have patience, and trust that you did well. ??
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 2:04PM UTC
I agree with the other comments. Keep in mind we are going into the holiday and personal time off season as well so things may be a bit slower, but one week is not abnormally long to wait at any time of year. It's hard but be patient! It seems like you did really well.
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 2:12PM UTC
I don’t have any advice, but I did want to share that your frustration in waiting comforted me because I’m in the same boat. Fingers crossed for both of us!
Kathryn BuerNovember 22,2022 at 2:38PM UTC
Most of the comments here are very forgiving of your impatience so I will play the devil's advocate. You need to realize that your hiring is not their biggest priority. In fact, for most hiring managers it is a necessary evil that disrupts their normal workload. It involves multiple people and each one of them has other things to do too so there is always a "hurry up and wait" cadence to the process.
Three weeks is a very decent turn time and expecting them to get back to you after one day shows that you are the one being unrealistic. No one led you on, they just have other things to do besides you. Keep searching and give these poor people the benefit of the doubt until about mid-week after the holiday.
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 3:04PM UTC
Keep looking and stop feeling entitled to a reply on your timeline.
HR, hiring managers, etc. have lots of action items on their plate. What makes you think they don't have more important things to concern themselves over than hiring you?
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 3:47PM UTC
lol I think 3 weeks is more than reasonable and not expecting an answer on her timeline. People need jobs and money to live and we don't have much choice in our modern world. You have one (I assume) and I think your perspective is entitled.
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 9:02PM UTC
All the choices I have are because of the decisons I made.
I learned in my ealry 20s to make saving no less than 10% of every paycheck my first priority. This way I'm not bestowed to any employer. If you're so hard up for money that you can't wait for an employer's hiring process to roll at its pace then you have a money management issue.
Employers won their hiring process, not the job seeker.
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 3:58PM UTC
She is frustrated , yes, but your answer to her is, at the least, very rude. She needs insight, not rudeness, ie, “entitled” and the comment about “…more important things to concern themselves than hiring you?”.
if you have some insight as to the workings of the hiring process, that would be more helpful to her.
RaeNovember 22,2022 at 3:33PM UTC
I'm going through the same thing with 2 possible positions within the same organization. They have called multiple times verifying my background. I definitely have a feeling I got both positions but it's taking a while and between it being the holidays and just anxiety of it all and wanting to start working it's alot. HANG IN THERE! WOOOSAHH lol..
Jessica FerlandNovember 22,2022 at 3:34PM UTC
Interviewing is a time commitment both for the hiring team and the candidate. The timeframe you describe is not unreasonable at all. There are factors they may be waiting on like reference response, people on vacation, etc. The waiting really is the hardest part, but you've done all you can do. No need to harbor frustration. You just have to wait it out.
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 3:47PM UTC
You don’t know what they have to go through still to finalize things. Also, please remember it is the holiday season, some of the people that need to be involved in the process for finalization may be out for the holidays. Be patient and relax. If you do not hear from them by next week Wednesday/Friday follow up with HR to see where you stand. It takes multiple people to get the offer letter and onboarding process started, give the people at the company a chance to do their job.
Kim RaperNovember 22,2022 at 3:53PM UTC
I have never had a job come through in that short of a period. There is a lot that has to happen on the companies side before you can receive an official offer. Please relax and wait this out. You are far too ramped up given how short of a time frame it has been. I have had a fabulous job offer that actually took months due to regulations, etc. Best of luck and please relax.
G C HesseNovember 22,2022 at 4:10PM UTC
You didn't say what type of work you do.....but it sounds like a Power or DOE . With that being said....it could take months and they will ghost you.
My POV look elsewhere....you have learned a lesson and know that your time is as valuable as theirs.
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 8:21PM UTC
it's not a POV , you NEVER stop looking for work until you have a offer / start date secured.
R.A. AndrewsNovember 22,2022 at 4:22PM UTC
Whatever the outcome, you are feeling impatient. I urge you to expand your self-compassion by asking yourself, in a spirit of curiosity, what is driving your impatience. Write out your explorations/answer to that. Then deal with it however will be most helpful to you. Take some breaths. You are going to be okay. Looking for a job can be excruciating. Be kind and gentle with you.
vm FreebirdNovember 22,2022 at 4:40PM UTC
They said they're wrapping things up to make you an offer. If they are not telling the truth then you don't want to work there. If they are telling you the truth... Yay! In the meantime while you are waiting set up other interviews. Don't call or email them... The ball is in their court. Breath and Pray!
vm FreebirdNovember 22,2022 at 4:43PM UTC
While you wait do further research on them for 2 reasons. First reason is to find out all about them so when you start the job you are able to use that to your advantage. Second reason is to make sure it will be a good fit.
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 5:23PM UTC
As a hiring manager I can tell you that even after I make a hiring decision, it could take days to get an offer out after I approve, as every offer, even the most jr IC position, goes through several levels of senior executive (CRO, CFO, CEO) approval before a formal offer is released. It’s been 1 business day since you heard from them, so let’s try to be positive and assume that this is making the signature rounds. If you don’t hear something within 5 business days then maybe concern is warranted. I get it. A lot of company’s are playing games in this crazy market and ghosting people but I wouldn’t assume that yet in this situation. If for some reason they don’t get back to you or offer changes, then there is something better out there for you. Best of luck!
Stephanie F, MSHRMNovember 22,2022 at 5:56PM UTC
This! But I would also point out that we are very close to Thanksgiving so a lot of people may be on vacation this week and then closed Thursday and Friday.
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 6:32PM UTC
Be patient. If it is a large corporation then it can take weeks or even months to get an offer. I got a rejection from a company and then 2 weeks later I got an offer. If everything seemed positive and you did your best then think about other things while waiting. I also would not stop looking and applying until you get and accept the offer. Good luck.
Fab Healthy LivingNovember 22,2022 at 10:13PM UTC
3 weeks is too long for an answer. Move on and find someone who respects your time as much as you respect theirs.
AnonymousNovember 22,2022 at 10:33PM UTC
I went through this same scenario years ago. I interviewed mid October and those meetings went through the beginning of December. I didn't secure the offer until right before the holidays. They intentionally were putting me off due to New Year budgeting reasons. The one thing I did do was keep interviewing with other companies. Even though it was the one that I wanted, I kept myself out there until I had the offer in writing. I highly recommend you do the same.
Eloisa JacintoNovember 23,2022 at 12:02AM UTC
Hi, I’m not sure how senior the role is but in my experience as a comp
professional an offer especially for more senior roles take time to get vetted. I agree with the suggestion to just keep interviewing with other companies. Who knows this might give you better leverage when you negotiate. Good luck!
AnonymousNovember 23,2022 at 7:11PM UTC
Yes, especially with Thanksgiving!
My prior position too from applying on April 1st until after Memorial day weekend for them to contact me with the offer.
Best wishes!!
Amber LeeNovember 28,2022 at 9:16PM UTC
While it could just be normal corporate delays during the holiday (if this is a large company).... I would strongly suggest keeping your options open and continuing to look/interview/submit applications with other companies. This will help you in a few ways:
- Make you less nervous and give more confidence you have more options
- If the first place gives you an offer, you will be in a better position to negotiate
- Or if they were stringing you along (which could also be a risk, in my experience if they want you they will act fast, but if you are 2nd choice they may want to keep you warm while they vet another candidate). If they end up not making an offer, at least you will have already got a few other things moving so you are not starting as square one.
Good Luck!