I'm really fed up with my job—it's become extremely exhausting.

46 Comments

1. AnonymousApril 14,2025 at 1:41PM UTC

   Let them fire you. Then at least you have a chance to fight for unemployment.

2. AnonymousApril 14,2025 at 2:05PM UTC

   Thank you!!

3. AnonymousApril 14,2025 at 2:44PM UTC

   Ostensibly, yes. That's true, but you are only going to bring your problem to your next employer and co-workers. If you can find one.

4. AnonymousApril 14,2025 at 5:47PM UTC

   I wouldn’t necessarily call it “problems”; it’s simply a matter of life evolving and adapting to change. For my next employer, I would select a position with a schedule that aligns with my daughter’s daycare hours rather than one that requires a 7:00 AM start. Thanks for nothing boo!

5. AnonymousApril 15,2025 at 6:50PM UTC

   Your schedule is a problem for you and your employer if it jeopardizes your job. It isn't the right role to accept or keep if everyone else has to make accommodations for you everywhere you go, boo or not. Try to pick something that better fits your needs so you don't burden yourself OR them.

6. AnonymousApril 14,2025 at 2:43PM UTC

   You should look for another role that allows you to work from home and has flexible hours or consider a side hustle on Upwork or Fiverr that can help pay for what you need to do to be at work on time. The schedule you described, which relies on the generosity of another co-worker on a daily basis to make room for your needs, is never sustainable. It isn't fair, and believe it or not, may be contributing to the overall toxic feel of the place for you. What kind of work do you do?

7. AnonymousApril 14,2025 at 5:45PM UTC

   Love this feedback!! thank you

8. Kristie WhiteApril 14,2025 at 3:30PM UTC

   You're not wrong, you're overwhelmed. Having to shift from a team family approach to a single family approach is enormous. I would suggest looking for a new position that provides some flexibility to your arrival time. The rigidity of this employer will not be any easier when your child is sick or your husband's needs change. It reminds me of working in healthcare - the schedule is very demanding. So find that position that provides time to adjust. It might even be within the same employer.

9. Lilye Stallworth ChaffinApril 14,2025 at 4:01PM UTC

   Go to HR.

10. AnonymousApril 14,2025 at 5:45PM UTC

    Thank you!!

11. AnonymousApril 17,2025 at 12:21AM UTC

    I had just said aloud and then saw your comment ~ it is a simple solution because HR will work with you on hours. You could possibly cut your position to 32 hours or whatever but I’m pretty sure HR would work with you somehow.

12. AnonymousApril 14,2025 at 4:34PM UTC

    If your husband is in the military, you have access to spousal employment support. Meaning, they can offer you some sort of assistance to find work. It may be helpful for you to find a civilian job on post. From what I heard, I think spousal civilians get first dibs. Look into that and see if it would offer a better work option. As it stands, your employer is not helping you, but hurting you. Don't get terminated, let them know I cannot get in at 7am as my child's daycare opens at the exact same time, then ask your boss, "do you have any suggestions for me to make this work with my hours here?". See what they say. In the meantime, lean in on spousal military support services and also, see if they have any childcare available. Keep us posted. Your family should come first and quite frankly, our military families suffer so much while our men and women serve our country. We are with you and you are not alone in this. Get as much help as you can to get you to the next job. Hang in there!

13. AnonymousApril 14,2025 at 5:44PM UTC

    Hello everyone,

    I’m currently still in my role, but I was recently asked to sign a two-week notice in case I fail to secure proper childcare arrangements to be at work by 7:00 AM. Being proactive, I found a position within my company that is only two minutes away from my residence, as opposed to my current location, which is a 45-minute commute. Transferring seemed like an obvious and much easier solution, right? Wrong.

    After sending an email about this last Friday, I spoke with my manager on Monday morning, and he delivered "bad news." He said my transfer request wouldn’t be approved because "they" would need to see improvement in my punctuality. Ironically, the whole reason I requested the transfer was to resolve my punctuality issues!

    It feels like they’re making this unnecessarily difficult and screwing with me, which has led me to seriously consider seeking alternative employment that aligns better with my current schedule.

    I truly appreciate everyone in this group and the helpful advice shared here. I've been a member for a while but never thought to post until today, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Your feedback has been incredibly valuable—thank you so much.

14. AnonymousApril 15,2025 at 1:48PM UTC

    It is in your best interest to find another role. It simply is not a good life/work balance for you and it's simply a matter of time before they find cause, repetitive tardiness, before they fire you. Also, unemployment doesn't happen right away and funds could take well over a month to get, so it's not an easy out. And it's only a very small portion, like poverty level portion. I'd ask for grace, ask them to please allow you to get in later to get your kid to school as that is the only reason you are tardy, which is a good reason. I think a 7am start is pretty early but it may be based on where you work and what you do.

15. Tina MorenoApril 14,2025 at 5:23PM UTC

    First, I just want to say—I see you. What you’re dealing with is incredibly tough, and unfortunately, it’s a situation many working parents—especially women—find themselves in all too often. Childcare is wildly expensive, and the added pressure of doing it solo while supporting a military spouse? That’s a heavy lift.

    You took initiative. You found a reasonable solution with a colleague. You communicated your needs. That’s what any responsible employee would do. It’s deeply frustrating when you do everything “right” and still hit a wall.

    I know it feels like the job slipping away is about just $300–$500 a month, but it’s about more than that. It’s about lack of support, lack of flexibility, and the emotional toll of being made to feel like your life is an inconvenience. That’s not sustainable—and it’s not okay.

    That said, there are things within your control. From a fellow military family member: connecting with other military spouses and families in your area can be a lifeline. Whether it’s a carpool, a childcare share, or just emotional support, don’t underestimate the power of that community. Many of my siblings have leaned on these networks in ways that changed everything.

    Also, while it’s absolutely valid to feel like “I’m okay if they fire me”—I encourage you to be proactive. This might actually be a blessing in disguise. Start exploring other employers who prioritize work-life balance and who truly understand the unique demands of military families. There are organizations out there that get it.

    If you’re still in the job, it may be worth having one more conversation with your manager—not to plead, but to better understand why the current arrangement is “no longer feasible.” There may be reasons you’re not aware of, and even if the outcome doesn’t change, knowing the why can help you move forward with clarity.

    You’re doing your best under incredibly hard circumstances. Protect your peace. Advocate for yourself. And when you're ready—make that next move on your terms.

    You deserve work that fits your life—not the other way around.

16. AnonymousApril 14,2025 at 5:48PM UTC

    Hello everyone,

    I’m currently still in my role, but I was recently asked to sign a two-week notice in case I fail to secure proper childcare arrangements to be at work by 7:00 AM. Being proactive, I found a position within my company that is only two minutes away from my residence, as opposed to my current location, which is a 45-minute commute. Transferring seemed like an obvious and much easier solution, right? Wrong.

    After sending an email about this last Friday, I spoke with my manager on Monday morning, and he delivered "bad news." He said my transfer request wouldn’t be approved because "they" would need to see improvement in my punctuality. Ironically, the whole reason I requested the transfer was to resolve my punctuality issues!

    It feels like they’re making this unnecessarily difficult and screwing with me, which has led me to seriously consider seeking alternative employment that aligns better with my current schedule.

    I truly appreciate everyone in this group and the helpful advice shared here. I've been a member for a while but never thought to post until today, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Your feedback has been incredibly valuable—thank you so much.

17. Tina MorenoApril 15,2025 at 4:16PM UTC

    I just want to say—you are handling an incredibly difficult situation with a lot of grace and strength. It’s clear you’ve been doing everything you can to find a sustainable solution that supports your family and your role. The fact that you’ve been proactive, communicative, and still showing up says a lot about your character and work ethic.

    I hope your employer sees the value in that—and if they don’t, it’s their loss. You deserve to work somewhere that not only recognizes your efforts but supports them. Whether you stay or decide to move on, know that you’re not alone, and there are communities and employers who truly respect what military spouses bring to the table.

    Keep advocating for yourself. You’re doing all the right things.

    Try following up on their message with something like:

    Hi [Supervisor’s Name],

    Thank you for taking the time to speak with me earlier this week. I wanted to take a moment to follow up in writing and acknowledge your concerns regarding my punctuality. I truly understand the importance of consistency, and I want to reiterate that it’s something I’m actively working to improve—not just for my performance, but for the stability of our team.

    To that end, I’ve been doing everything I can to find a sustainable solution that supports both my responsibilities at home and my role here. That’s why I submitted the transfer request to the location closer to my home. Not only would it reduce my commute from 45 minutes to just two, but it would allow me to reliably meet the 7:00 AM start time without the current challenges related to daycare logistics.

    Additionally, I want to highlight that I’ve made previous efforts to work out an alternative schedule that included support from a colleague, which I believe demonstrated my commitment to finding a collaborative, team-focused solution.

    I care about my work here and want to continue contributing meaningfully. This transfer would allow me to do so in a way that is both sustainable and productive. If there’s anything else I can provide or clarify to help move this forward, I’m more than willing to do so.

    Thank you again for your time and consideration.

    Warmly,

    Your name

18. GirlBossanova934974April 15,2025 at 2:07PM UTC

    Quick question. Are there other daycare facilities that open at 630AM? Have you called around?

19. AnonymousApril 15,2025 at 3:23PM UTC

    Find another parent perhaps via a local parenting group that you can help on the times when you are NOT working and trade times with them for the am drop off. Good luck.

20. Coach Nancie Kay ShumanApril 15,2025 at 6:39PM UTC

    You have some great options below. Also, is there day care near your work? Would switching your child to a daycare near your job make more sense?

    Is there a parent at the daycare who would be open to watchign your child for the time needed and then taking kidlette to daycare?

    Have you had a chance to look for jobs closer to home? What would you need to assist with that?

    Good luck. I have been here.

21. Veronica TiradoApril 16,2025 at 1:04AM UTC

    try communicating with other military wives they help eachother.

22. MelonicaApril 16,2025 at 1:23PM UTC

    Hello beautiful soul. I feel you. I was a single mom myself raising my son years ago, so I understand the stress and responsibilities. Journaling can help express your struggles, hurts and frustrations. And through that, you can also find wisdom and clarity of what you need to do. Just write what is inside and what your are feelings. You got this,. You are powerful, more than you realize.

23. AnonymousApril 16,2025 at 3:27PM UTC

    Why is your boss so mean?

24. AnonymousApril 16,2025 at 3:27PM UTC

    Don't do something to loose your job

25. AnonymousApril 16,2025 at 3:28PM UTC

    Bring your child in for one day and annoy him.

26. AnonymousApril 16,2025 at 3:28PM UTC

    Is there daycare in your workplace?

27. Sandy SabeanApril 16,2025 at 3:39PM UTC

    Remaining in a position that is not aligned with your needs may delay the discovery of more suitable opportunities. Consider whether a role requiring a 7:00 AM start time is compatible with your current circumstances. It would be beneficial to conduct a thorough assessment of both your personal requirements and your family's needs. Reflect on your professional strengths and core values. Have you considered whether acquiring additional skills or certifications might position you for roles better suited to your current life stage? Your personal and professional network may provide valuable insights and connections to assist in identifying more appropriate opportunities.

28. Christine Brush, MSW, MBAApril 16,2025 at 4:17PM UTC

    You are now a military spouse, who can apply for openings in the federal service for jobs for military spouses. Ignore what is going on with the government at the moment - you need to go to the base or post and speak with someone who works with spouses and tell them you need help - don't be bashful about telling them everything you need. You also have some employment protections as a military spouse. Use every service available to you - childcare on post, employment, housing - ask for everything.

29. KellyApril 17,2025 at 12:37PM UTC

    Having been both an active duty service member and a spouse you should most definitely check out the benefits / programs available to military families some things have a wait list depending on where you are stationed but it is a tight community and you will find other moms who may need to swap babysitting times. Focus Forward and don't stay stuck in the negativity it only hurts you. Good Luck!

30. AnonymousApril 16,2025 at 4:31PM UTC

    It's not easy doing it by yourself..

31. AnonymousApril 16,2025 at 4:33PM UTC

    Is there a day care near your job?

32. AnonymousApril 16,2025 at 4:33PM UTC

    Does your boss know you have a child? He may not be aware of this.

33. Jamie WhittakerApril 16,2025 at 11:04PM UTC

    When I was a single mom I used daycare close to my work. It gave me extra time in the morning and evening. Another option is to see if there is a parent that struggles with evening pick up time. Maybe they will drop off in the morning if you pick up both in the evening.

34. Elle Smith FaganApril 17,2025 at 12:49PM UTC

    I remember....I remember! :-D. My children are grown but I am so glad I. had to deal with all that back then! For that ONE day when one of them began to spontaneously read the street signs! So glad. I was right there for it. I was driving with a friend the day a blowout meant I was lucky she was having fun holding the baby....she held her close till the car was stable again. So glad I was THERE.

    FIND A NEW DAYCARE... a good daycare is open REALLY early and stays open as late as necessary without being peevy about it.

    THESE days with your youngsters are GONE GONE GONE too soon....you'll see.

35. Heather HaalandApril 17,2025 at 5:30PM UTC

    This is so tough. Do you have in writing that you can work starting at 7:40? If so I would take it to HR and say this is an accommodation that I negotiated up front as I have children under five and we are unable at this time to move our child to another center until a spot becomes available.

36. Jennifer WehrendApril 18,2025 at 1:49AM UTC

    Please let us know what you decided to do.

37. AnonymousApril 18,2025 at 3:09AM UTC

    That is extremely tough. Have you started looking for other jobs closer to home or ones that offer a flexible schedule. Try to find something else before being let go. The added costs in childcare while regular living is inflating is a tight squeeze.

38. Changemaker828603April 18,2025 at 1:24PM UTC

    Just quit. It isn't worth the stress. Find something closer to home.

39. IntentionGirl630054April 18,2025 at 2:06PM UTC

    Please do watch out for the scammers promising 'too good to be believed 'work from home (WFH) opportunities - make sure you are working with a legit business when accepting a WFH opp or a legit headhunter -- you never have to pay anyone to get a job -- I know that is obvious, but obvious is sometimes what people need to remember.

    I agree with the idea of finding work closer to home - if it exists, and WFH isn't for everyone! I also remember those days - a good employer will know it is short term to make this work and if they appreciate loyalty, no-one will be more loyal than an employee whose short term issues are kindly addressed. Believe me, a year (or two) in a decade (or two) of work is indeed short term

40. Brandi LodingApril 18,2025 at 2:48PM UTC

    1. Check with your local Dept of human services for child care assistance. Once approved, it's usually approved for 12 months. And you CAN use 2 separate daycares of needed because of schedule issues and still only have the one co-payment. Co-payment amounts depend on income and household size.

    2. After you have your child care subsidy set up, you can start looking for another job that is less stressful.

    You can Google childcare subsidy income guidelines for your state to see what your copay would be.

    In my state, income up to $1830 for a family of 3 would have no co-payment, 1831- 1910 would have a copay of 128 per MONTH. 1911-2149 would have a copay of 142. For a family of 3, the max income would be 5357. At that income level, the copay would be 276 per month.

    You can use any daycare that accepts the subsidy. If you need to use one day care in the morning and a different one in the afternoon, you still only pay one copay for the month.

    To calculate your income, of you're paid weekly, add up your 4 most recent checks, divide by 4, them multiply by 4.3. of you're paid biweekly, add your two most recent checks together, divide by 2, then multiply that by 2.15.

    I hope this helps.

41. Brandi LodingApril 18,2025 at 2:53PM UTC

    Best place to find legit work from home jobs is ratracerebellion.com

    The vet all jobs before they can be posted to the site so you don't have to try and weed out the scam jobs yourself out end up with all the spam from indeed.

    The majority of the jobs are going to be some type of call center but there are some others listed from time to time.

    I had been trying to get in with my old company for 2 years but would always find out about posted positions just a little to late to apply. Once I signed up for the emails from that site, that company posted a position about a week later, I got my resume in, and had a job 3 days later.

42. Sabine LevrierApril 20,2025 at 3:09PM UTC

    Hey,

    So, I am not sure if this is still a good idea with the current climate in the USA with immigrants, but, I raise 5 children alone there. I was living in the USA where they were born and I too could not afford much. I got a AuPair. It was the same price as a daycare but it was working for all my kids. And supreme advantage I could make the schedule I needed since the Au Pair lives in the house. It's not always perfect (I changed 3 times) but financially it s much easier and stress wise it's amazing. I had invested in a small cheap car for the au pair and gave up my bedroom but I was done with the school run I stopped worrying if I was finishing late at work and I was feeling super safe since I knew exactly who was looking after my kids. Little plus, your kid will learn a foreign language.

43. TiffianyApril 21,2025 at 3:09PM UTC

    I totally understand how you are feeling. I recently did the math for how much it is going to cost for child care this summer. I am looking at around 8K for the 2 kids. I have a 1 hour commute each way. Besides the financial impact I am also thinking about how my kids are missing out on the ability to get a reset. They still have to wake up early during the summer and we cannot afford to take vacations because so much goes to child care.

    I also reserve my PTO time so that I can keep the child care costs down during the year. I generally use this for sick kids and days the school is closed. I am defiantly thinking of what I can do different. I hope you can get things figured out as well. Thanks for sharing.

44. AnonymousApril 21,2025 at 4:55PM UTC

    Got laid off in October, still no meaningful work. Think of the alternatives. Have never been w/o a career.

45. Jill Basye-FeatherstonApril 22,2025 at 1:47PM UTC

    It's good to start working on a new job NOW. Threatening to fire you is more evidence of how toxic it is. You'll be all right. Polish up the resume and make requests in writing of your current position. Could there be a child care option close to that side of town? We have pick up and drop off services but I didn't check into costs.

46. AnonymousMay 2,2025 at 5:17PM UTC

    Unfortunately you are in a horrible situation either way.

    I completely understand your problem. Five years ago, our grandkids lived with us because our school district was so much better than the ones they were in. (Once their mom got out of her lease, she moved in too so it wasn't like we had to let them - we wanted her to save and get a house and stop throwing money at an apartment)

    My husband worked as the Head Custodian at one of our high schools so we could put our youngest in any elementary school we wanted. We put him in the one right next to my husband's school. This was a perfect situation. My husband wasn't tied to a desk or kids so he could leave, cross the street and drop off grandson in the morning and pick him up when time to go.

    Then it happened. My husband fell at work and broke his kneecap. I shudder to remember those times. It was probably the hardest 18 months of my life. When it was time for him to go back to work, he still had not been released to drive. This made it impossible to get them to work and school.

    My bosses are two of the best people I know. They have literally been through everything with me and have supported me 1000%. I spoke to them about changing my shift. They allowed it. We worked around where I would come in a bit later, then take a late lunch to go pick them up and take them home and come back to work. (We both work within 10 minutes of each other and live right in the middle).

    It lasted for about 2 weeks. We have about 100 people in our plant. Someone else asked to do the same. Since we are a warehouse/production plant, we all have the same start/break/lunch/end of day time. Others wanted to do the same schedule I was doing. They couldn't possibly have 100 employees all working different shifts.

    They called me and told me what was going on and I needed to find different arrangements. (This was a Thursday). I needed to find them before Monday. We made it work (my mom came to help) but it wasn't easy.

    It may not be an issue with your boss at all. It may be something out of their control. Just like my bosses probably would have let me do my crazy schedule for as long as I needed, they also had to be fair.

    It is a tricky game for supervisors/managers when special considerations are given to employees. Everyone thinks they should be treated exactly the same. Bosses are not allowed to show empathy when it comes to this. We have to be fair with each employee using the same disciplinary actions for all. It stinks sometimes. I hope you find exactly what you are looking for! Good Luck!