I have become uncomfortable at work....

13 Comments

1. AnonymousNovember 18,2024 at 8:28PM UTC

   If you can't articulate your discomfort, I would just keep an ear to the ground in case there are actual signs that could impact you, then formulate a plan.

2. AnonymousNovember 18,2024 at 10:21PM UTC

   Is it something they are saying or are they acting inappropriately? Specifically towards you? Have you noticed your coworkers facial expressions in meetings or just in general? Watch body language. 80% of what we say is in our body language.

   If you notice other’s body language change like facial expressions or that seem off, it’s because they notice it too. Rarely ever do you meet those with poker faces. Though I personally have 2 friends who have excellent non-expressions. You are probably not alone in this. Your gut is telling you the new manager is probably a bad fit. Get your resume together and seek a better environment. I work in higher ed and even though title IX infractions are a big deal, bad behavior continues. We have a higher up that constantly describes women that are petite by their size to other people when they are describing them (and it repeats 3 times) and tells others about anyone’s ailment such as “oh they have Covid”. It’s very unprofessional and unethical. But and here’s the clincher… other teammates see it and many have left. People don’t usually leave jobs they leave their managers. Thankfully I have a go between but I’m also open to new and better environments. Maybe you’re ready to find a new company.

3. AnonymousNovember 19,2024 at 1:06AM UTC

   I’m in higher ed as well. Well on the research side. In a previous staff meeting they have told staff that if they don’t want to be here then they should leave. They have made comments to me that if I leave, I leave and they will make the adjustments. That they are new and they pick their people. I started this gig during a leadership transition. I manage one of the core functions and truly love my job. I have given no indication that I am unhappy and that I would be leaving. However, I fear that these comments are an indication that I am being pushed out. At this point, I’m just trying to buy myself some time. Ideally until the end of the fiscal year, which ends on June 30.

4. AnonymousNovember 19,2024 at 1:08AM UTC

   I started the gig a year before they arrived and our funding is tied to grants. So no union.

5. AnonymousNovember 19,2024 at 6:57PM UTC

   Grant funded state positions in higher ed still follow IX. I also worked in a grant funded position years ago.

6. AnonymousNovember 19,2024 at 6:56PM UTC

   I'd go to HR with this. State jobs, you can't just let someone go, it's a process. Sometimes it's a public service announcement because your management is so weak, they can't have 1:1 conversations and sound passive/aggressive. You could file a title IX complaint, which I wouldn't do as you become a target. We all know that does nothing.

7. AnonymousNovember 19,2024 at 1:08AM UTC

   I'm trying to stay under the radar

8. AnonymousDecember 2,2024 at 12:39AM UTC

   I often comment here that when you get a new manager it is your responsibility to sit them down and manage them. Let them know how you work, what motivates you, how you like to communicate and how often, and ask them the same in return. Ask them about expected goals, let them know how you take feedback and course correction. It's a year sure but it's not too late to do this even now. As this person has inherited you it is also likely that they have some underlying issues with that inheritance and not having hired you themselves. Keep that in mind. If you have these conversations with them and also find out a bit about them and what they like and don't you just might find the rainbow after the storm. If you can't perhaps speak privately with your HRBP and ask for their guidance in how you feel. Change is hard, but it can be okay if you address it directly. If the "words" you mention are terse, unkind or in any way rude or disrespectful then there are other things to speak about and letting others know that is not acceptable is okay.

9. AnonymousJanuary 4,2026 at 11:31PM UTC
   About the work situation, that uneasy gut feeling is usually right, even if you can’t name it yet. New managers shift vibes quietly. When work stress piles up, I decompress with distractions that don’t require emotional energy. I’m in India and sometimes I just download Sky247, which is a sports betting and casino app built for mobile users here, and zone out with live games or quick bets. Not escaping reality, just giving my brain a break. Still, trust yourself at work. If something feels off, it usually is.
10. Paul AmosJanuary 13,2026 at 4:03PM UTC
    That feeling you described hit close to home because I went through something similar not so long ago, and weirdly enough it reminded me of how I approach risk and control outside of work too. Somewhere in the middle of that phase I’d unwind with stuff like 1win Fortune Tiger, not for the rush, but because it teaches you to read patterns and know when to pause. At work, a new manager can flip the whole table without even meaning to, and the discomfort creeps in quietly, not as one big problem but a series of small signals that don’t align with what you loved before. What helped me was stepping back and watching instead of reacting, the same way you don’t chase every spin just because it feels off. I leaned harder on my team, kept notes on what specifically bothered me, and gave myself time before labeling it as “bad.” Sometimes the game hasn’t changed, just the tempo, and learning that rhythm again can make all the difference.
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