Nosey Nelly advice.

Anonymous

July 7,2022 at 4:03PM UTC

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Nosey Nelly advice.

My colleague and I are at our wits end with a nosey Nelly. Nelly has moved departments, we are filling her role and she keeps giving input on who should be there, this is not her job. It is for the search committee which the I am on and so is my colleague. We are not giving her much information, if any, but she won't but out. It is like she regrets her move to the other department and wants to come back. She moved because she wanted to.

The process is hard enough to get a quality candidate, we don't need someone else trying to influence us. I told her I haven't heard anything, which is true. How would you handle this?

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Lesa Edwards, Career Coach & Master Resume WriterJuly 7,2022 at 4:16PM UTC
Sounds like some boundaries need to be drawn - my concern is that Nelly will become a pest to the person who gets her old job. It may not be appropriate for you - if you are on her level in the company - to have this conversation, but rather a manager who will be blunt with her about this issue.
Joanne RosenJuly 7,2022 at 4:45PM UTC
Thank her for caring and for her feedback. Then tell her that you are focusing on an unbiased search because the role may be changing a bit.
AnonymousJuly 7,2022 at 5:04PM UTC
The less said to her the better so your instincts are on point.
Eventually the lack of information and involvement will push her out of your way.
These types of people are ego driven so they don't exit relationships or roles easily.
I would stay out of the drama and lose interest and focus on her fast
AnonymousJuly 8,2022 at 1:43PM UTC
I definitely don't feed her drama. We did get the news today that the offer we made was turned down to bring in a new person, my boss copied her on the email. Hopefully we can conduct a new search without her interference.
Hillary LathamJuly 7,2022 at 5:44PM UTC
Has anyone had a direct conversation with her? Thank her for her interest but you have it handled and will reach out to her if you need any assistance. That way she can focus her time on her new position.
KatJuly 7,2022 at 6:19PM UTC
I've worked with people like this. It's frustrating. They have to get involved with everything - even if it's none of their concern and would be easier if they stayed out of it. Not sure if it's insecurity, entitlement, micromanaging, ego or some combination of the above. Definitely keep her out of the loop on the hiring process for her replacement. Don't let her train (or provide "advice" for) the new person either, or else she will be over in your department constantly involving herself in your lives. Someone needs to speak to her new boss about giving her more work, since she seems to need more things to keep her busy in the new area.
Kristin Zimmerman she/herJuly 7,2022 at 6:20PM UTC
Letting go is hard. She hasn't found her value in her new position and is desperate for purpose in a familiar place. Feeling like you don't belong ANYWHERE stings. Keep dialogue about her new role and maybe encourage her leadership and ideas for her new environment.
AnonymousJuly 8,2022 at 10:15AM UTC
I work with a woman that LIVES by drama and negativity. Constantly asking me and digging for drama - and telling me people are talking about me behind my back to entice me.
She's 60-ish. I'm 49 and don't care what she thinks. She wants my role and feels the only way to get it is to make me quit. I've been dealing with it since day #1.