I just participated in the Season of Sharing at Fairygodboss!

43 Comments

1. AnonymousNovember 1,2021 at 3:44PM UTC

   This is a great question and something I've definitely struggled with as well. For me - truly "logging off" when I'm OOO or even on the weekends has been really helpful. I don't have slack or email notifications on my phone (though I do have the apps) so if I know to look out for something important I can always log on and check, but otherwise it all waits until I'm back online!

2. AnonymousNovember 1,2021 at 7:13PM UTC

   Yes, I recently made this change too and it is a game-changer!

3. AnonymousNovember 1,2021 at 5:33PM UTC

   I am just starting out in my career and creating work-life balance was the biggest goal of mine.

   I work the hours my office is open and that is it outside of pre-planned events held occasionally (maybe one a month). I have no issues getting my work finished in these hours. I don't check my email outside of work either.

4. AnonymousNovember 1,2021 at 7:13PM UTC

   That's great! Not checking email / slack outside of work hours has always been an issue for me, but I recently started shutting off notifications during PTO and it's been great!

5. Lorna Rose, J.D., M.S.November 1,2021 at 6:07PM UTC

   I refuse to discuss anything work-related via text. If/when someone sends me a work-related text, my response is always "Can you please put this in an email to me? I prefer to keep work matters out of my text messages." (when appropriate, sub email for Slack or other messaging platform if that is what we use for work communications) Not only do we practically use email like texting nowadays as it is, I do not like the idea of giving my workplace the same level of access to me as my friends & family have.

6. AnonymousNovember 1,2021 at 7:12PM UTC

   yes, great point!

7. AnonymousNovember 1,2021 at 6:14PM UTC

   I find EOD plans help me set a boundary and make sure I actually log off when the day is done. Whether it's going to dinner, out for a walk before the sun sets or just telling myself I'm going to go out to grab a tea, I plan something at the end of each day and make sure I stop working to go do it.

8. AnonymousNovember 1,2021 at 7:11PM UTC

   Yes, you're so right! I recently got a dog and that has definitely helped me "end" the day earlier than I normally would have.

9. AnonymousNovember 1,2021 at 6:32PM UTC

   Learning how to say no to new tasks or responsibilities that are out of my job description or pay grade, without proper compensation. I'm fortunate that my current job pays well, but my previous employer had a bad habit of piling more work onto people without fair compensation. I've learned to have conversations about expectations and quarterly goals sooner than later, and if something comes up that is well outside those parameters, I have that to fall back on.

10. AnonymousNovember 1,2021 at 7:11PM UTC

    I really like this boundary, but admittedly have never put it into practice. My previous jobs have always fallen outside the parameters of my job description, so definitely something to think about!

11. AnonymousNovember 1,2021 at 10:10PM UTC

    An important boundary I had to learn the hard way for many years! I started a new job not too long ago, and during one of my orientation meetings my boss said something like "with all of your knowledge and experience, we don't want you to feel like you are limited to tasks for JUST this department, we'll work to make sure you are involved in projects that are right up your alley." All I heard was: "we can't wait to give you the work of several for the salary of one." Old me would've gushed at the compliment and enthusiastically offered to "help out wherever I may be needed." Current me said "I appreciate that vote of confidence in my abilities, and I would be happy to discuss a renegotiation of my job description and compensation package when the time comes to take on more projects outside of this role." It's been a few months since I started and so far, no tangential tasks have been thrown at me.

12. Grace Czechowski (she/her)November 1,2021 at 7:26PM UTC

    I once had a job so demanding that I would put on an out-of-office from 8pm to 8am each night letting people know that I would address their needs during the following work day.

    Now luckily, I am in a much more reasonable situation. I pride myself on making sure that everyone has all of the information they may possibly need in advance of a potential day off, so I can really unplug and be present with whatever I am taking time off for.

13. AnonymousNovember 2,2021 at 2:27PM UTC

    Glad to hear you're in a better situation - but an OOO or busy status on slack isn't a bad idea for a good situation either. Thanks for this :)

14. AnonymousNovember 1,2021 at 7:42PM UTC

    Physical distance and not answering emails/messages outside of work hours. If I were in an office and not at my desk when a message/email came through, I wouldn't be expected to answer it. So, I give myself the same permission even working remotely. At the end of the day, the computer goes off and gets put away. Unless it's absolutely urgent (which it rarely is), emails/messages won't get answered until the next business day.

15. AnonymousNovember 2,2021 at 9:06AM UTC

    I agree!! Some want messages/access on their phone. Not me! Sometimes during the day I turn me Outlook off to avoid the CONSTANT distractions.

    I'd rather have ONE email 1,000 words long than 100 short emails!

16. AnonymousNovember 2,2021 at 2:28PM UTC

    Yes! Years ago - when I was required to use a phone a lot for work - I had the option to put all work stuff on my personal phone and have them reimburse some of the bill OR have a separate work phone. I chose the latter and it was the absolute best decision for me!

17. LauraNovember 2,2021 at 4:21AM UTC

    Scheduling myself later in the workday. I used to work 7:30-4:30, now I work 9-6. I still get up at 6, so this gives me time to take care of things around the house, go for a walk, work out, tend the garden, all when my energy is at its best. I put in my day, come home without a long personal to-do list, and have time to enjoy my family, watch a show, read, etc. This better matches with my energy levels and I find I'm keeping up with self-care more regularly.

18. AnonymousNovember 2,2021 at 2:25PM UTC

    I think I need to try this! I currently do the opposite and try to squeeze in all of my personal stuff at night - and it almost always gets pushed back. Thanks for this!

19. LauraNovember 2,2021 at 7:36PM UTC

    That's how I did it forever, too - thinking I'd get work all done, and then have 'me time'. I get 13-15K steps in on an average day at work, plus regular lifting, so after 8 hours of that, it's hard to get excited about working out. It's so much easier in the morning, and I get to use that prime energy for things at home that are really important to me. If you try it, I hope you like it! :)

20. AnonymousNovember 2,2021 at 9:01AM UTC

    Be polite, but don't share my duties to toxic colleagues.

    Case in point: I have a full load (long story) and was able to transition a task to someone else (my supervisors entirely supportive). This woman returns yesterday after working MAX a week in October and asks the girl why she's doing MY work (the toxic chic barely does anything). She wants me out, although I'm not her department.

    Long story short, unless relative to their role, don't ask, don't tell. If having a bad day, DON'T vent to them- they'll use it against you and tell others you are incompetent

21. Georgene HuangNovember 2,2021 at 1:38PM UTC

    I block my work calendar and use it for all my personal and professional commitments during the week. It takes planning but the public calendar approach has removed questions of when I'm available vs. not.

22. AnonymousNovember 2,2021 at 2:23PM UTC

    Yes, using calendars to show total availability is a great idea! How do you feel about blocking off time to just get work done? I feel like that's helped me a lot - especially while working from home when meetings grew.

23. AnonymousNovember 2,2021 at 2:26PM UTC

    This is a big one, and I feel like the lines are blurred as to when you can say "no" or not sometimes :/

24. Christy JamesNovember 2,2021 at 5:26PM UTC

    No checking email on off business hours as a normal standard-- especially weekends. If there is an exceptional item requiring intervention, team members are required to use a "push" mechanism such as text, phone, chat notification etc rather than a "pull" which puts the burden on the person to be always-on "just in case." I've been doing this for about 20 years with all my teams as well as setting it up as a manage up expectation.

25. AnonymousNovember 3,2021 at 4:26PM UTC

    Yes, this is a huge one!

26. AnonymousNovember 2,2021 at 5:37PM UTC

    We use a messaging app, and one boundary I've created is not responding to things immediately there when it's not urgent. And when I'm working on a deadline, there are times I won't sign in as "active" at all for several hours (but will just choose certain times of that day to check in). It's been a sanity saver over the past year, especially since my child had virtual school all last year.

27. AnonymousNovember 3,2021 at 4:27PM UTC

    Yes, great tip. I sometimes like to block off my calendar for uninterrupted "working" hours <-- sometimes when you have too many meetings it's hard to get bigger tasks done!

28. AnonymousNovember 2,2021 at 6:09PM UTC

    I'd add to this telling someone where to get an answer (even if you know that method might be a fail) rather than trying to solve or do the work for them. This way you are helpful without taking on the work burden. Most of these things aren't part of your core job, you will never get any "extra credit" for them, mostly don't result in any reciprocal favors and crush your work/life balance.

29. Huong Nguyen-ValleNovember 2,2021 at 6:10PM UTC

    Asking my team to leave their laptops at work when they go home.

30. AnonymousNovember 3,2021 at 4:27PM UTC

    Great manager, right here ^^

31. Julie S.November 2,2021 at 7:06PM UTC

    I'm on a different timezone than my team and I block off the hours that I'm not awake. While I occasionally will take an early morning meeting before I have to go take my kid to school, I don't make that a habit or my sleep and health will suffer.

32. AnonymousNovember 3,2021 at 4:27PM UTC

    I think this will become increasingly more important to remember, especially as remote work increases.

33. AnonymousNovember 2,2021 at 7:33PM UTC

    As a social worker, I sometimes have clients who call multiple times per day. I don't mind this if it is needed, but sometimes it isn't. There have been a couple of clients for whom I have established what I call the "One A Day" plan. I schedule a time each week day for them to call and speak with me for up to 30 minutes. The client is aware that other calls from him or her, unless I feel it to be an emergency, will go to voicemail and will be addressed during the next day's call.

34. AnonymousNovember 3,2021 at 4:28PM UTC

    That's a great boundary to set - and still ensures your clients are heard / know they will be answered.

35. Maura van der LindenNovember 2,2021 at 7:53PM UTC

    I block time off on my calendar when I am not available (my company has people in different time zones) and I block time off for lunch. If I get a meeting that conflicts, unless it's highly urgent or my execs, I decline it with "My calendar is already busy at that time."

36. AnonymousNovember 3,2021 at 4:29PM UTC

    Yes, I do the same - but admittedly still get meetings booked during these times. Curious how the declines are handled?

37. Maura van der LindenNovember 3,2021 at 10:46PM UTC

    They take it well actually. They have learned if a spot is free, it's actually free as I keep my calendar very much up to date.

    Now they are pretty good about messaging me in advance if they need me to make an exception and why and are usually VERY apologetic.

38. detriceisabelNovember 3,2021 at 1:25AM UTC

    After hours plan: Working after hours or on off days is sometimes unavoidable. I have a one or two item to-do list, don’t get up early, and never work more than 4 hours. I also do what I want! People cannot monopolize this time by waiting for the end of the day/week to make requests or ask questions.

    Manage up: I send my to do list to my boss and ask that they add any missing items and/or adjust my priorities. This quickly exposes any miscommunication, inaccurate perceptions of work, etc. When new items find themselves on my list, I revisit this with my boss. Ask for protected worktime. These take away the guilt when you need to say no.

    Add/edit calendar events afterward: If a meeting is rescheduled, it stays on my calendar and I add “reschedule” to the name and note on the new event the original meeting time. Same for canceled. The elapse time and start time for meetings are put either on the calendar event or in my notes. I add pop-up meetings and phone calls. You will start to see patterns and be able to adjust accordingly.

    Respect my own time: If the facilitator of a meeting is more than 7.5 minutes late, I leave and they have to reschedule with me. If an event ends early, I remain in the meeting working on my action items and/or getting organized for the followup. Begin working on the to-do list for a meeting before leaving. I just starting doing something really cool...When I need protected work time, I block it off as training on my schedule and listen to a podcast or webinar at the same time. ?

    DO NOT VOLUNTEER, EVER. People can come to me before the meeting to ask for help or I will offer to do a specific task with conditions (”If you are done with your draft today, I have some time tomorrow morning to proof it for you. Just left me know before the end of the day.”). Otherwise my boss has to be the one to give me tasks.

39. AnonymousNovember 3,2021 at 4:31PM UTC

    Great, great tips - thanks for sharing! Especially love the managing up one.

40. AnonymousNovember 3,2021 at 4:30PM UTC

    Couldn't agree more! You need to separate your personal phone from work - especially when you have a very phone-heavy job.

41. Maura van der LindenNovember 3,2021 at 10:48PM UTC

    My tacit agreement is that my calendar is kept scrupulously up to date. If they book in an open slot, I will accept it. If the slot is taken and they HAVE to book over it, they now message me in advance to ask me to make an exception and tell me why. They are usually pretty apologetic when that happens, too.

    I stick by my guns and am always polite but firm. Maybe it's my time in the industry but that's one of my boundaries that I don't give up on and figure that if THAT is a breaking point with my employer, I don't want to work for them because they clearly do not respect my time.

42. Joycelyn M. SiameNovember 4,2021 at 7:14PM UTC

    Standing true to the no over time policy. If I feel like my workload is too much and there is not enough time to complete it, I speak up. And NO ONE at my job should call me after work hours. I will gladly ignore someone if they do so... leave a voicemail after the tone. If I feel it warrants a response, then maybe I will send a text or call back... just maybe.

43. TracieNovember 10,2021 at 6:57PM UTC

    Making time for my own priorities whether it be related to my business, personal time, or personal growth has become a critical boundary for me I have only learned in recent years. I am quick to coach others about creating time / space / energy but find that I get so wrapped up in helping clients I put my own needs on the back burner. I think coming from a career of fast paced sales, where it was driving by more, and more was never enough, it takes a relearning and re-processing to find the places that you need the boundaries the most. It's okay to tap out for the day and just be. And it took me a long time to learn that.