Letting go of my unemployment fears?

76 Comments

1. AnonymousJuly 15,2022 at 3:40PM UTC

   You're getting severance and unemployment and still dipping into your savings? I would advise slowing down your spending and keep focused on finding a good fit for your next job.

   Consider temp work and contract projects too.

2. AnonymousJuly 15,2022 at 3:50PM UTC

   Clarifying that I haven't put in for unemployment. I'm getting a small severance but that ends at this month. I'm debating whether to file and the severance only covered my mortgage payment so I was still using my savings for everything else.

3. AnonymousJuly 15,2022 at 4:38PM UTC

   Oh I understand now. I would definitely put in fir unemployment asap to help out until you find employment. Unemployment is nothing to feel bad about. Also, it's private so your family doesn't need to know your finances. The money is deposited into your account or to a debit card so if Privacy is an issue, don't share that information.

4. Sue Gordon- retired Career CoachJuly 15,2022 at 4:06PM UTC

   If I read this correctly, you haven't filed for unemployment. Do so-- it can help you to bridge the gap, and over the years that you and your family have worked, you have paid into the safety net yourselves- take advantage of that, and good luck!

   Meantime, tell the family that career experts note the average time to find a job varies from 3 to 9 months- or more-- depending on field, region, economy and skills and sadly age of the job seeker. Patience and persistence are key. Ask what they would do if they were in your shoes, perhaps? They'll likely learn that yup, you're doing that and back off and hopefully at least provide more emotional support!

   But take advantage of whatever programs are available to you. Visit your local workforce development program- you'll have to when you file for unemployment, most likely and they may have services to help.

   Good luck!

5. AnonymousJuly 15,2022 at 4:28PM UTC

   Thank you, Susan. I really appreciate your advice. My experience is in marketing and publishing and my current area doesn't afford those industries.

   I found myself here during the pandemic and was fortunate to find a job mostly in my field. Now that I'm looking, I'm having some luck but more progressing to interview with companies that are hiring in the future rather than timely hires. I'm keeping those connections while trying to find work. I enjoy working and being in this predicament is difficult to navigate. I'll look into unemployment when severance ends to help bridge the gap while continuing to job search.

6. JJJuly 15,2022 at 4:42PM UTC

   I am sorry you are going through this, it must be difficult. One thing to note is that unemployment is not a government “handout” as some people believe. It is a business insurance program paid for by your company (except in three states). It benefits business too, so while I disagree with the idea that there is anything wrong with the government helping people through the taxes that we pay, unemployment is different. You earned it through your years of work. It’s a benefit, not a “handout.” I am sure your family uses coupons, rebates or discount codes to save money? Think of it more like a rebate if it helps you to use the benefit you earned.

7. AnonymousJuly 15,2022 at 5:09PM UTC

   Thank you, JJ. I'm actively looking for work and have been interviewing regularly since losing my job. The handout mentality is affecting my relationship with my family and that's part of the reason I haven't filed. While I mentioned severance, it pays for part of my mortgage and the rest of my bills, I've used my savings.

   I checked into unemployment to be educated about the process and the site recommends waiting until severance ends before filing. I'm glad I have my savings but rather than rely on assistance, I would prefer to find work. I'm sure everyone says that but I miss working with others and brainstorming ideas.

   Thank you for explaining another side. That makes me feel better if I need to file. I need to get out of my own head and own way. I appreciate this site and everyone's advice.

8. AnonymousJuly 15,2022 at 5:12PM UTC

   I was let go from my company too - last May. I also bought a house recently. I felt a lot of uncertainty in my life, sadness, and lower self-worth (never been let go before until now).

   This is what I did. I hope you can use this advice.

   1. find a friend that will bring some positivity to your life. My friends, husband, and ex-clients helped me. They kept telling me that this unemployment doesn't identify me and my self-worth.
   2. file for unemployment. First, unemployment is not a handout. You actually paid for it while working. Uncle Sam actually is helpful in this area. If your family says anything negative about this, go back to point number 1 (find people that will emotionally support you positively). Or, don't tell your family about you getting unemployment benefits.
   3. For CA, you can apply for unemployment online - follow their instruction. In other states, please use google.
   4. It seems like you also want approval from your family. My suggestion here is to work in front of them. I searched for a job and have an interview in front of my husband (he works from home). He was telling me that I work so hard looking for a job. He never question how hard I work because he was there.
9. AnonymousJuly 15,2022 at 6:17PM UTC

   Thank you, Anonymous. I appreciate your advice and positivity. Being let go has taken a hit on my self confidence and my family's opinion has always been important to me. They feel that I should have already found a job.

   The fact that I've been interviewing is OK but I'm not doing enough to secure employment. My parents are old school and feel that I'm spending too long online and when I explain that's the new method, they don't understand.

   I've tried showing my Mom the forms, folders of resumes and CVLs, and while she tries to get it, keeps encouraging me to go into companies and request to fill out applications. I tell her that I wouldn't even get past the front desk but it's a generation issue. Knowing that my family doesn't understand takes another toll on my self esteem.

   I'm trying to stay motivated, exercising each day and after working all morning and into the afternoon, push myself to get away from the computer and outside for a walk.

   Thank you so much for your uplifting message and it helps to hear from others that were in similar situations. Have a good weekend and I appreciated your advice!

10. Angela LeeJuly 15,2022 at 7:26PM UTC

    Please please file for unemployment. You were laid off, through no fault of your own. You paid into unemployment through your tax deductions so no, it’s not a “hand-out” like your family thinks. Also, your family is not in your shoes so it’s easy for them to pass judgement. You just bought a house you say, it is important for you to be able to keep up your mortgage. You’d been in a worse ooff position if you let your mortgage lapse - debt, foreclosure, ruined credit, etc all in the name of “pride”. If your family doesn’t support “hand-outs”, then tell them to help you pay for the mortgage.

11. AnonymousJuly 15,2022 at 10:31PM UTC

    Suffering is a choice when you have unemployment benefits available to you. Please end this unnecessary financial stress and apply for these benefits immediately. You will receive no awards for hobbling through your job search.

    while I understand your family’s opinion is important to you all I hear is an additional layer of negativity during this challenging time. As an adult, a professional woman, you have the option to set boundaries with your parents and decline their advice. Unless they’re providing you with money that has conditions attached to it, time to be your own person.

12. Crystal HowellJuly 16,2022 at 12:25PM UTC

    If fired, I don't think you can get benefits? She didn't say how she was let go?

13. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJuly 16,2022 at 4:49PM UTC

    I think it's safe to assume she was laid off if she received severance.
    You don't normally get that when you're fired.

14. Crystal HowellJuly 16,2022 at 12:24PM UTC

    You didn't tell us what do you do? Were you laid off or fired ?

    what does the resume look like, what are you saying why you left the last company. Contact a recruiter in your field.

15. AnonymousJuly 16,2022 at 1:52PM UTC

    You should file for unemployment. It exists for people in your situation. You were laid off. Get over your family’s stigma.

    You should also work on your resume and really determine what your soft and hard skills are. There are a lot of places hiring right now so think about what type of work you would want to do and how your qualifications fit.

16. Pam HeaphyJuly 16,2022 at 2:42PM UTC

    File for unemployment!

    ( A note to others who said you can't get unemployment if you were fired - this is not true! In my state, you can't receive if you QUIT)

    I'm not sure your family even needs to know you filed??

    Go to your states Dept of Labor online (you might be better using a PC vs a smartphone).

    For others reading this question - apply right away. The amount of your unemployment is based on a average portion of what you made in the last 2-3 quarters (I may not have this exactly correct), but you don't want it based on a long time of living off your savings.

17. AyianJuly 17,2022 at 12:28PM UTC

    In Texas, unemployment is based on the first 4 quarters of the last 5 quarters, so, for example, you get let go during a quarter, the previous quarter doesn't count, and if you were out of work for two of the 4 qualifying quarters, you probably won't qualify. Therefore, it can be better for some to wait based on the specifics of their states program.

    Read the qualifications to determine what is correct for your situation everyone. If your employment was steady, applying right away may be best for you. If it wasn't steady, get clear on the details to know when to file to get approved.

18. SLTJuly 16,2022 at 3:31PM UTC

    Start at your local unemployment office (online). It's a process, but MAX in Tennessee is $250/week. Better than nothing.

    Keep looking, something will show up!

19. Donna LaPointeJuly 17,2022 at 12:49PM UTC

    I was pleasantly surprised at help that was available at my local employment office when I was laid off 2011. They had networking groups, resume help, counseling and more. Check out what's available when you go and file for UI.

20. AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 12:58PM UTC

    I am in a similar boat. I was laid off from my full time job in February and was given notice in October that they were acquiring new management but allowed me to stay with the flexibility to look. I collected unemployment for the first two weeks since they did not give me severance as an exchange for staying on.

    Two weeks later, I got a temp job for six weeks that I hoped to become permanent since I took over the role for someone who resigned after7 years because of their refusal to get vaccinated.

    Unbenowst to me and the agency that placed me there, they had alredy hired someone beforeI got there but couldn't start right away so they kept me on.

    Since I left in April, I have been collecting unemployment ever since despite all my efforts to find something as an EA with almost twenty years in the financial services industry.

    I received a contracted offer from a major financial instituition last week which I accepted, after passing all background and drug references checks including start date. I even met with in person for three hours, very senior level people after having a succesful zoom callandbeing invited.

    I was supposed to start on the 14th, but due to what the agency said was a department internal financial decision, the company resscinded the offer.

    No one would really tell me more than that, but my guess is that it was a very poor 2nd qtr earnings report that came out the very day I was supposed to start. That and a 200 million dollar fine from the SEC for not approving the use of personal devices.

    Now, my unemployment will expire the last week of August,and its been very frustrating for me when some family members have made comments to me with implications that I am not doing all that I can do to improve my situation . I would not have put so much effort into this process having dragged me through the muck and the mud, accepting an offer after passing everything, and then the agency saying, sorry, they changed their mind. So now, I am not sure what to do. I don't think when my unemployment expires in August, I don't believe I can extend it.

21. Deb HornerJuly 16,2022 at 3:34PM UTC

    Unemployment is a benefit, not a handout. You purchased a home on your own - kudos! If your family isn't being supportive (i.e. telling you you need to work harder at finding a job, telling you that you cannot accept any assistance), then quietly remove them from your life for this moment in time. You don't have to tell them why, or anything about it. You just stop phoning, visiting, or enabling them to put you in a defeatist mindset. You are a smart, well educated, employable rock star for a company that hasn't chosen to hire you yet. Sometimes it takes a moment for your timing and the timing of the best job for you to align - but when that happens, you are in for the best job of your life. I'm currently rocking the best job ever, with the best boss ever, and caring co-workers who check in on me when I'm not at work. Unemployment (at least in the US), is a state government benefit. Type *your state* unemployment in a search engine, and fill in the blanks.

22. AnonymousJuly 16,2022 at 3:36PM UTC

    I am currently in your shoes as well, minus the parent piece. I will tell you the first few months were quite a hit to the ego - like you, I had been working since I was a teen and have always had wonderful performance reviews.

    As others have mentioned, apply for UI. You paid into it all of these years, so it would be illogical not to use it. Think about your car insurance - you’d make a claim if something happened, right? Why else would you have been paying insurance?

    It is also privately added to your account. It gives you one less thing to worry about as you pursue a new position, aka your current full time job.

    Wishing you all the very best and hang in there!

23. DeBorah S. WalkerJuly 17,2022 at 12:29PM UTC

    Excellent advice to mention to her about car insurance good comparison.

24. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJuly 16,2022 at 5:14PM UTC

    Unemployment benefits are not a hand out.

    All your employers since you were 16 have been paying into the system for all the years you've been working. That's what it's there for - to help you in times exactly like this.

    For your own mental health, you're going to have to figure out a way to not let your family get so into your head. You need positivity right now in your life, not negativity. Being in a job search is hard enough and stressful enough without that added pressure. Whether it's disengaging from your family, adding more positive influences, I would encourage you to do what you need to for your mental health. Putting yourself first is not selfish - it's healthy.

    If you had a friend who was in your position, what would you tell them? I'm guessing you would tell them file for unemployment immediately and don't let anyone make you feel bad about doing so. I suggest you extend the same grace to yourself. Just look up your state unemployment department, it's typically all done on line now and get started.

    What have you done so far in your job search? Where do you have your resume posted? How often are you updating those profiles? Where are you looking? Is your LinkedIn up to snuff? How do you feel your interviewing skills are?

    How can we help?

25. AnonymousJuly 16,2022 at 6:35PM UTC

    There is no shame or stigma in taking the unemployment benefits due to you. All employers pay into the unemployment compensation system for this purpose: it is expected and a routine cost of doing business.

    Go down to the unemployment office now and sign up for benefits. Then continue to look for another position. You will have to document your search to the unemployment office.

    You owe it to yourself to collect the benefits due you.

26. Johanna LymanJuly 17,2022 at 12:18PM UTC

    I was laid off at the end of Sept. and am still unemployed, despite applying to over 350 jobs, getting a bunch of interviews and coming in second place several times.

    You are entitled to benefits; you've paid into unemployment since you were 16 years old. Some states also have extended benefits options if you need to get additional training to get a job (I'm doing that now).

27. AyianJuly 17,2022 at 12:24PM UTC

    If you are receiving a severance, you may not qualify for a payment that week in particular, but you can still apply and be approved for unemployment. Your employer paid for unemployment insurance, as required in all states and will have to pay the increased premium while you are on unemployment, but that is cost of business. You are entitled to an unemployment claim.

28. AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 1:13PM UTC

    Unemployment begins when severance ends. They'll want proof - Tennessee did

29. Emily PhelanJuly 17,2022 at 12:30PM UTC

    I know it took my sister a bit to get her claim approved, so I would start the process sooner than later. As far as I am concerned, your family has no need to know. Depending on how much you've already told them, you could still be using savings, etc., or say you sold some stock to cover you for a bit longer. People have very strong opinions about things until they are the one in that situation. Any one of them would do the same. Good luck in your search!

30. Lisa M.July 17,2022 at 2:32PM UTC

    That's right! It hits different when they are on that same situation!!!

31. AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 12:46PM UTC

    Unemployment INSURANCE is not a handout any more than car insurance is. It's INSURANCE. If you're eligible, take it. My family had a similar perception. The 1st time I applied for & received unemployment insurance my mom disapprovingly called it being 'on the dole' and implied that I was lazy and a disgrace to the family. I learned that she was wrong. It's insurance and the whole point of it is so that workers won't leave the occupations that they're already experienced at, and will be available to work when employers need them again. That's the reason why employers are willing to pay unemployment insurance premiums & don't just lobby congress to get rid of it. It helps employers too, maybe more than it helps the individuals who receive unemployment insurance benefits. Each state is different in how it administers unemployment insurance benefits so contact your state department of industry & labor or whatever they call it in your state to find out what you need to do to apply for it when the time comes.

32. Ally MorganJuly 17,2022 at 12:47PM UTC

    Unemployment benefits are not welfare or a handout. We PAY for them with salary deductions. Go to your state's unemployment website TODAY and fill out the application.

33. Trie AngelevaJuly 17,2022 at 1:16PM UTC

    Lots of great input here regarding unemployment ... a thought about your comment regarding not getting offers after interviews. When clients come to me with that issue, we zoom in and focus on their interviewing skills since that seems to be where they are getting search in their job search. However, we also take a look at their resume and cover letter to see if they're doing the job landing them the right interviews. Best wishes!

34. AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 1:44PM UTC

    Sometimes we struggle in our job search if we feel desperate. We tend to broaden our search too far and apply for jobs that aren't exactly suitable. Then, when we do get an interview, the pressure can turn to fear of failure, which leads to sub-par performance in interviews. I'd like to join with others who suggest that you sort out your insurance pronto, because you need to catch yourself a break. Then you will be able to relax just a little and the process that you do know you can do well will flow. As you say, you've gone from job to job with confidence in the past, and you have only been thrown off your stride with the new pressure coming from the repayments on your home. If you can tackle the repayments with your insurance, you will ease the pressure, regain your confidence and you'll quickly be able to call on your job hunting skills again and able to get back to earning. The sooner you do it, the less time you'll need it.

35. Focused721350July 17,2022 at 1:55PM UTC

    Good Morning, ;)

    I can totally relate. I'm sorry! But! No disrespect to your family. They're not in your shoes. Life happens! You know your busting your BUM to find work! When you get another job great! In the mean time. There's nothing wrong with getting unemployment. You pay into it! Welfare is a hand out! Besides! As a single Mom your priority is to your CHILDREN! NOT YOUR PARENTS VIEWS!!! Please! Stop telling your family all your business. You don't need extra stress! It'll work out! STAY POSITIVE!!!

    Good luck and God Bless you and yours, Ms. T ;)

36. Lisa M.July 17,2022 at 2:29PM UTC

    Exactly! The less they know, the better. Most people are afraid of being unemployed, that's why they treat others who are out of work with disdain. It's important to be humble because it can hit ANYONE!!!

37. AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 6:48PM UTC

    Your comment is right on!!! Yes this is true.

    These sorts of mindsets can be detrimental.

    People stay in dead end, abusive employment situations for years. This can crush self esteem and overall well-being . Is the damage done okay because they because it keeps them looking for handouts?

38. Audrey KirschJuly 17,2022 at 2:20PM UTC

    Why are you so opposed to unemployment benefits? Every job you’ve had has paid into the system. You’re just asking for a little back to get you through a rough time. Plus, don’t know about where you are but our employment office has a job hunt site, classes you can take online and in person to improve your skills. They also have job fairs where companies come to discuss their companies and job opportunities. Take advantage of the resources your hard earned money has paid for.

39. AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 2:35PM UTC

    Frankly, it's not your family's business whether you are on unemployment or not. This is not information I'd volunteer to them. Good luck with your continued job search and I hope something comes through for you soon!

40. Jennifer Fay Bogar-RichardsonJuly 17,2022 at 2:57PM UTC

    The unemployment is there for you to use. If your family is that concerned, perhaps they should be helping in your job search and supply you financially until you find something.

41. AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 6:43PM UTC

    Then her family may see her as asking them for a handout!

    What a sad world we live in!

42. AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 3:36PM UTC

    Unless your family is offering to pay your bills, it’s not any of their business. You don’t even have to tell them if you don’t want to. You’ve paid money into the unemployment system and the benefit is yours to use.

    Visit your states unemployment website and all of the information should be there about how to start a clsim.

43. AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 4:12PM UTC

    I have 2 masters and am voluntarily unemployed as I look for a career that will not deplete me mentally and physically and … I have not told anyone in my family.
    If people aren’t emotionally mature enough to provide me with mature support - it’s none of their business

44. RaeJuly 17,2022 at 4:26PM UTC

    Love love love this!

45. AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 3:48PM UTC

    I hope you applied for unemployment benefits and that you were not only using the severance. You were eligible for both. If you haven't applied, do it now. There's is a week wait time.

    It is called unemployment insurance not unemployment "handout". Money was paid each paycheck toward this insurance.

    Would you feel ashamed to collect insurance if you were hurt in a car accident? No.

    Do not let what others think run (ruin)your life.

    When I was struggling to get by while unemployed, I started dog walking. I joined focus groups. You can do this!

46. AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 4:13PM UTC

    Be sure to call your state health insurance agency directly to see what you qualify for - you may get a plan with no premiums which will relieve the pressure as you look

47. AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 5:08PM UTC

    yes! My friend was laid off and went a year with no health insurance because she "thought" she'd be hired right away and couldn't afford the open market.

    Finally applied and immediately received medicaid. She is a cancer survivor and it was scary.

    Our healthcare system sux.

48. AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 6:42PM UTC

    Yes are healthcare system does. It’s even sad that some people would view someone in your friend’s situation as “looking for a handout.”

49. Ruth RobbinsJuly 17,2022 at 4:25PM UTC

    And to add to the wonderful advice and endorsement for using UI , something you’ve paid for anyway..,,I’d like to add a note as to how to manage family expectations.

    If you must report back to the family, which I hope you don’t feel compelled to do, put your foot down as follows; you debrief positively once a week for ten minutes telling these intrusive busybodies what you’re doing, the progress you’re working toward, keeping brief and to the point. The rest of the time you do not explain, complain, or justify yourself to anyone but account responsibly to yourself as per the good suggestions others above have provided

50. Michele ChambersJuly 17,2022 at 4:33PM UTC

    There is no shame in applying for unemployment benefits. You paid into them throughout your career so take advantage of them.

    And forgive me for saying this, but unless your family is willing to step up and support you in your time of need they have no say in what you need to do to survive.

51. JYJJuly 17,2022 at 4:44PM UTC

    Unemployment is NOT a hand out. You've paid into it as long as you've been working. Does your family say the same thing about social security? It's your money. You should have applied the minute you were let go. Please do so now because there is a waiting period of a week or two.

52. TeresaJuly 17,2022 at 4:45PM UTC

    Just an FYI you have paid into the unemployment benefits, you should not be using your savings. It is tough out there finding work, you need to do what is best for you not your family, you will find a great job in time, take what you are owed. You will be blessed with an amazing job very soon.

53. AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 5:08PM UTC

    In many states you don't have a choice but to use your savings as unemployment doesn't cover your full regular paycheck. When I was on unemployment I received $285 per month, which worked out to $1140 per month; when I was working I was bringing home about $1790 per month, and of the $1140 per month in unemployment I received I also had to pay for my own health insurance which was about $150 per month. My take home pay per month when I was working already had my health insurance taken out of it. So, in my case I didn't have a choice but to pay out of savings for some of our bills.

54. AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 4:48PM UTC

    I was in your same shoes. Received a severance package after 15 years, it ran out at the beginning of the pandemic, endless interviews with no job in sight. Even with family, I felt alone in the situation because of the ridiculous stigma surrounding assistance. I agree with Emily Phelan and many others on this post. Stop worrying about others and do you. This is a resource we've all contributed to and deserve in times of need. It kept me afloat when I started to rely on savings and when a job finally came through, it helped make ends meet until things got back on track. When people asked, I just told them I had savings, which was also true but it's really no one else's business. The bottom line is, it's there to help you so take advantage of it. Best of luck.

55. AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 5:02PM UTC

    Since, most states require you to wait a certain length of time after receiving a severance package, it's best to look at your state's website for answers on unemployment when it comes to receiving a severance package, as some states will allow you to receive benefits right away after leaving a job even if you receive a severance package, whereas other states require that you have to wait a certain length of time after you stop receiving severance payments or a certain length of time after receiving a lump sum severance package before you can apply for unemployment. Also, I'd highly recommend contacting your mortgage company right away for a hardship package, as that will allow you to keep your home and stay in it while you are getting back on your feet and have a smaller or possibly no payment at all depending on what is determined for a short period of time before payments resume once you are back to work.

    I'm self-employed because I'm not traditionally employable due to various health problems, but I'm still able to work. So, self-employment in your case while it can be scary, may be something worth looking into, and most states have programs within their unemployment office that can help put you in contact with the proper help while you are going through the process of starting it and in many cases continue to receive benefits for awhile.

56. Rebecca A BrittJuly 17,2022 at 5:06PM UTC

    You have paid into unemployment and have every right to it, much like others have said.

    HOWEVER, look at your state. They sometimes count a severance against unemployment. In Pennsylvania, I had some complicated formula of average salary minus my severance, divided by the number of weeks of unemployment.

    It ended up that I would have had to use all my severance first, and then only received 50% of unemployment. ($135.00 before taxes!! woot)

    I would also look at food stamp and other services like decreasing your internet cost and utilities.

    A lot of times (state specific) if you are unemployed or underemployed, companies have subsidized plans. Again, they are subsidized by OUR tax dollars AND companies get write offs for offering them (oooo, a double dip for thee but not for me).

    This whole, pull yourself up by your bootstraps myth is ridiculous and impossible.

    We want to be a society where we help those who need it.

57. Bridget HarringtonJuly 18,2022 at 6:58PM UTC

    This goes along with what I said upthread about pride. I can be very prideful about money...to my own detriment. There is a lot of help in most states for the unemployed or under-employed...you just have to be bold enough to ask for it. When I was unemployed, I was able to get discounts on some of my expenses and additional grace periods without penalty on other bills, just by asking utilities and creditors. My landlady gave me a break on my rent for doing yardwork, painting and property clean-up. That was critical in a town where there was no low-income rentals and I'd be on the street without that apartment. I was at one point where buying groceries was an issue...and a friend told me about a restaurant in my town that donated to the local food kitchen. I was able to pick up pizzas and breads that people ordered but didn't come for and a few portions of meals that would be at the food kitchen. I took only what I needed and no more. If you are on good terms with your local grocery manager, you can arrange to get some of the produce and other items they would throw away. My state at the time also got me on their health insurance plan for low income....no cost to me, but it was basic coverage. I ended up needing to use it when I became ill unexpectedly. If you are jobless and needing to keep your utilities on and rent paid, that's no time to be proud!

58. Maggie StoneJuly 17,2022 at 5:22PM UTC

    Apply as soon as possible.
    It may take a while-as in weeks or longer-to receive benefits. Keep in mind that this is money you paid in. Think of it as cashing in an insurance policy and you have paid the premium.

59. Barbara Scionti KuehnleJuly 17,2022 at 5:23PM UTC

    Just to clarify… you did not contribute to unemployment, your employer did. This is an employer tax. You are eligible for unemployment and you should apply. This is what unemployment benefits are for - lack of work or a layoff. Some states will make you wait until your severance stops before they will pay you benefits.

60. AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 8:14PM UTC

    Go ahead and apply. These were a benefit that you worked for, not a handout. I spent 11 months on unemployment from 2011-2012. I got through by remembering that unemployment is an insurance policy and if you remember that, it is NOT a handout.

61. AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 10:42PM UTC

    Read the fine print in your paperwork. If your departure was declared "voluntary" in exchange for severance, you may not qualify for unemployment benefits.

62. AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 10:58PM UTC

    Sometimes you need to take bridge role to bring in the bacon and get benefits. These contingent worker jobs are employment at will too, so don't think they are secure. They can get you into a firm you want to work within and allow you a trial to see if you like that company. It's also a strategy to get skills to transition. Places like these can help Jumpstart interviews.

63. Bridget HarringtonJuly 18,2022 at 6:47PM UTC

    I used to have the mindset that temp and contract work was "less than" a permanent staff role or they were jobs you do to gain experience, like an intern. Until I found myself downsized in a terrible job market in my mid-30s. Temping was all that I could get! I worked at one contract for 11 months and another for 6. Those jobs paid my bills, got me networking and allowed me to look for something more permanent in the meantime. Work is work! Take what you can get in your field (or even not in your field....working at something unrelated is easier to explain later than sitting at home and being ultra selective) and keep looking.

64. AnonymousJuly 18,2022 at 1:47AM UTC

    First, let it go. You were let go, it happens, unemployment is there to help. Start the process asap. You can do it before your severance runs out. It's not like you're sitting around doing nothing, collecting unemployment. You are expected to continue actively searching for a job, they can even provide additional assistance (I didn't find it valuable, but that was only for me and my situation).

65. Stephanie LekowskiJuly 18,2022 at 2:46PM UTC

    Keep trying and believe in yourself, even when it's (very) difficult. Your journey is yours, not your family's, and if they give you a difficult time they are not being family at all. And do whatever you need to in terms of unemployment to keep you from having to dip into savings because if you keep doing that you will eventually run out of that too.

66. Valerie RiegerJuly 18,2022 at 3:40PM UTC

    I would advise to start the process as soon as possible. I believe you will have the opportunity to note that you are receiving a severance and can provide the date that the severance ends.

    Don't feel bad about applying for and receiving unemployment benefits. The program was created to help people in your situation. Don't lose faith in yourself and your abilities. You've got this!

67. Bridget HarringtonJuly 18,2022 at 6:39PM UTC

    Unemployment is very similar to social security** as to how some people think of it.
    Unemployment is NOT "a handout." In order to claim it legitimately, you have to have been working, ie - contributing to it. You're actively pursuing work. It isn't as if you are sitting around collecting and doing nothing. I was once unemployed for 8 months through no fault of my own and blew through most of my cushion savings because I was too prideful to apply for benefits. A friend of mine thankfully changed my thinking before I spent all of my savings. Apply ASAP, because everything government and insurance related is in slo-mo mode now. And, may I suggest telling your family that it is none of their business? As adults, if we are self-supporting, the only ones who should call the shots on how we manage our careers and finances is us. If you don't pay my bills or manage my day to day, you have zero influence.

    ** On the social security statement, you have money involuntarily deducted from payroll for this purpose. What you get back for social security when you retire, theoretically, is what you put into it minus taxes. It always irked me that there is no option to not contribute to the government's plan. I understand that it is to force people to save...but what about those of us who already are doing that and doing it very well? Looking at ROI, I could invest my money far better than what the government is doing. My 401k will net me more than my social security check will and I just wish I had control over investing the payroll deduction, too. I have heard more than one person call social security "welfare," and it's not --- it's your money being returned to you! Ditto with Unemployment, albeit in a slightly different fashion.

68. Diane Frances Lesley-NeumanJuly 18,2022 at 11:14PM UTC

    Start it immediately. You will not get benefits until 2 weeks after you apply.

69. CarolJuly 19,2022 at 1:18AM UTC

    Start the unemployment now, don't be ashamed or anything else, you've already paid for those benefits anyway. It will put your mind at ease and then you can focus on jobs or possibly going back to school to update your skills or maybe a different career altogether.

    Best wishes to you, YOU GOT THIS !!!!!

70. AnonymousJuly 19,2022 at 1:11PM UTC

    It is amazing how unsupportive our families can be isn't it. Put all that out of your mind and do what you need to to make sure that you are okay. What would they do if you took their advice and lost your home?

71. AnonymousJuly 19,2022 at 5:37PM UTC

    Start the unemployment process asap. You pay into unemployment insurance when you work for any company or org. I was in a similar situation and depleted my savings because of shame. I regret it so much not applying sooner. It was disservice to my daughter.

72. AnonymousJuly 19,2022 at 6:09PM UTC

    Thank you everyone for your advice and thoughtful feedback! I really appreciate it as I haven't been in this situation.

    I ended up contacting my city's unemployment insurance agency and they suggested waiting until my severance ends at the end of the month. Waiting to file, I'm more apt to receive full benefits. Since I have savings, I'll be OK until the first payment.

    Your advice helped me get over the shame and stigma associated with taking the insurance. I want to work and have been getting interviews but moving slowly through the process. Every day, I'm continuing to push things forward and I'm not stopping until I have an offer.

    Sending a big thank you and shout out to this group as having a platform to share what we're going through and receiving sometimes tough but just feedback is what we need to navigate through our careers.

73. Farah BajwaJuly 20,2022 at 12:04AM UTC

    IMMEDIATELY file for unemployment benefits because it takes about 2 weeks to kick in. And ignore your family's stigma. My dad thought it was shameful that I filed for unemployment and was working an odd job under that table for pocket money but that's just an old school mentality and we pay our taxes - its time to ask for the return on our investment! And sometimes we gotta do what we gotta do.

    Also, be kind to yourself. I bought my own home as a single women 9 months ago and understand your fears. Take a minute for yourself to acknowledge your emotions and your mental health.

    Keep applying, maybe look for a temp job or consider a pivot in your career while you continue to peruse something you really want. Keep your chin up!

74. Vanda LeeJuly 24,2022 at 2:43PM UTC

    I'm on an unintentional "career break" and some of my family are so out of touch with how different things are now... gone are the days of sending your application/resume in and getting the job... just ignore them and take care of yourself. I've gotten to the point that I just give a canned response and change the subject.

75. Stephanie LekowskiJuly 31,2022 at 1:37PM UTC

    Absolutely! Family is important but if they're not supporting you emotionally or financially, and are setting up unrealistic expectations aka "Why don't you have a new job yet?" you need to "detach with love". Lying isn't great but self-care is- the job search journey is yours, not theirs!

76. christine hofilenaJuly 27,2022 at 11:10PM UTC

    100% agreed on all your comments.. Unemployment is not a handout... I am with you 100%. Last year, I was let fired from my dream job and the company fought for my unemployment and I did not get the financial benefits from unemployment because of the circumstance that I was let go from the company. Thankfully I had a secondary work that I was able to sustain while tirelessly looking for another job ASAP. I was in such an awful situation and luckily I had a wonderful supportive family that assisted me. I work day and night applying for jobs, doing zoom interviews which can be so exhausting but I never gave up. Hang in there! Apply for your benefits and apply for every job sites... Good luck to you and best of luck in your career! I am sure you will find another job soon!!