Is there a thing where HR gets harassed?

27 Comments

1. AnonymousJune 7,2024 at 4:51PM UTC

   Spend any amount of time on this forum and you'll see that we are not thought highly of.

   We do need thick skin, that's for sure, because the sentiment is not just in this forum. Ignore the comments and negativity. If it does become more harassing in nature, though...let me ask you, what would you do if a non-HR person reported that sort of behavior to you? What would you advise? How would you proceed?

   I've been with my current organization just over two years. Entirely different industry for me and first time as an HRM. In the first year, especially, I had some employees that were challenging. Like they were testing me. I didn't let them get to me. I demonstrated that I knew what I was doing, and that I was fair in what I did and eventually earned their trust and respect. It was helpful that I had a supportive and empowering HRVP.

2. AnonymousJune 7,2024 at 6:57PM UTC

   Thank you, your response is exactly the validation I needed. I wish you all the best in your career.

3. AnonymousJune 7,2024 at 4:56PM UTC

   I would look at your employee code of conduct document and also where you discuss insubordination in your policies.

   Some of this may be culture. You might want to practice a pointed one-line response. In addition, when someone gets promoted, leadership should announce it in a way which makes clear that the promotion was earned and support is encouraged.

4. AnonymousJune 7,2024 at 5:58PM UTC

   Seems to be to be a trend that incivility and bad behavior to a certain extent is tolerated

5. AnonymousJune 9,2024 at 12:42PM UTC

   No matter what you think of HR, being unprofessional is a poor way to act. You should speak to your manager and this employee’s manager and determine an appropriate next step because borderline harassing is not ok.

   Regarding feelings toward HR, unfortunately in today’s business world HR has become a force to save the business and not as protection for the employee as it once was. I’ve gone to HR for a number of issues in the past - sexual harassment, mentally unstable coworkers, lack of performance feedback from managers - and while HR was certainly sympathetic they handled the situation to protect the company and not me. I think HR has been watered down by crappy c-suite managers, greedy board members and generally predatory business practices our modern companies align to. I feel bad for those HR reps that actually care because I think their responsibilities have been drastically restricted. And I know it’s not just my industry. Just an insight into why people tend to distrust HR these days.

6. QJune 9,2024 at 2:20PM UTC

   If you are being harassed off hours by someone displeased about the answer given, that seems to support the original investigation of them as the problem and the manager being found innocent.

   Come on folks. Regardless of if you think HR is more on the side of the business, our behavior still matters. Acting out only makes the point that you're actually the problem. There are other ways to pursue justice if you feel wronged that don't include acting like a jerk.

   To the OP. I'm sorry you've experienced this. I have never worked HR, but have had both good and bad HR experiences as an employee. If HR is deeply enmeshed in supporting overall toxic work culture, you find another job. HR is a symptom not a root problem.

7. AnonymousJune 9,2024 at 3:28PM UTC

   I think people forget that HR has to be neutral.

   some people expect them to be personal and gumdrops and roses for one side or the other. They have to be objective.

   However i too have had bad instances and good instances with HR in my higher education industry. I heard corporate can be horrible…

8. Cynthia TrivellaJune 9,2024 at 3:32PM UTC

   Harassment in the workplace, though difficult to cite when it happens, is still identifiable by the person being affronted.

   As an HR professional, there are a few things for you to note here. 1) You now know that harassment does indeed exist in your workplace, as you have experienced it. 2) This is an opportunity for you to revisit the policies protecting everyone in the company, including people who WFH and examining if there are policies and communication channels in place to protect these individuals. 3) Bringing the topic of harassment to the forefront and not sweeping it under the rug like it’s a non-issue. 4) Bringing it to the attention of leadership so they know it exists and more importantly that you and HR need support to address this head on. 5) Taking this situation and turning it into a positive by getting employees talking and learning what they can and cannot do when it happens to them or they see / hear it happening to someone else.

   Also, I’m not justifying nor defending the employee who confronted you, but just something to keep in mind. Many people who are feeling like they’ve been wronged may not communicate well and in a way that articulates their problem in a sensible way. I say this to help you digest this and gain understanding.

   Good luck with all.

9. asmith13June 10,2024 at 3:26PM UTC

   After having been in HR for 24 years, I feel your pain but my skin has gotten thick enough that I don't let it get to me.

   Unfortunately, HR has the reputation of not caring about employees, always siding with the business, blah-blah-blah. I am sure there are asshole unethical HR people out there, but the majority of us try to do the right thing and serve as the balance between protecting the rights of the employee while also keeping the company out of legal hot water.

   All of that being said, employees seem to have no problem telling HR they aren't doing their job or that they don't care about them or whatever if an investigation/discussion/outcome does not go the way they feel it should or, even better, in a he said/she said situation, that we can't find merit to their allegations.

   Also, we don't really publicize what specific actions we take with an employee, so there is that perception that we "aren't doing anything" if the person in question is not immediately fired.

   Honestly-HR is a thankless job sometimes. You just have to try and have a sense of humor about it. HR meme pages and cool HR friends have saved my sanity.

   Hang in there!

10. AnonymousJune 10,2024 at 3:32PM UTC

    Daily! Do note that when folks say HR is not your friend I rebut that notion by letting folks know our role is to remain neutral and to listen to all the facts. Most folks really don't understand what we do at all. Its incumbent upon us to educate them and to share things with them that help them to get what HR really is for. Rise above the negative BS you are being served and if it does not stop get your leadership involved. If they don't support your excellence as and to not bully or harass you then it's time to find another employer who will. Definitely let that one employee know it's not acceptable (i'm sure you have) Keep up the great work and congratulations on your promotion! I'm sure you deserved it!

11. maria roseJune 10,2024 at 4:56PM UTC

    Too many people, mostly the younger generation who were brought up using technology versus face to face interaction, don’t understand how to have conversations to discuss issues and resolve issues using technology because they don’t know any better way to communicate. The incident here described getting a text message rather than discussing this in a face to face conversation is just a method that allows the sender to be aggressive with wordy but totally ignores the personal details of using words even in text can be harmful and aggressive to the recipient. Hiding behind the words, the person thinks they can be “themselves “ but are they really? If they can say those words directly to a person in a conversation, they don’t know what it means to really listen to verbal communication. Yeah, they are people who can express themselves wonderfully verbally but in the same text do they really mean what they say. This nuance of interaction in conversation is what is not being understood by our present version of using social media and any form of exchange to present the ideal self we want to show the world.

    The only reason an HR person would get text directly from an employee is that the HR person encourages that firm of communication rather that limiting contact to the more formal business model interaction . An HR person is responsible for making sure that hiring procedures are followed, helps managers ( supervisors) follow up on needed communication on skill development for job efficiency—is the neutral observer in being there to ensure that a PIP is presented properly. They also have a guideline from the company of expectation performance and where accommodations can be made if needed. They are no one’s friend only a resource for questions on requirements of job duties.

12. AnonymousJune 10,2024 at 5:53PM UTC

    I believe this is unfortunately something all HR professionals will experience. It "comes with the job" so to speak. It doesn't mean that it's OK, but something you'll have to face at some point or another.

    A lot of employees do not trust or like the HR function because of 2 reasons:

    1. They had a poor experience in the past and that has clouded their ability to assess anyone in HR with an unbiased lens.
    2. HR is commonly used in business as the reason for decisions, reasons for delays, etc. Employees begin to associate anything they view as negative on the HR function.

    Some of the role is pacifying employees. My below recommendation may be viewed by some as a waste of time or unnecessary, but given people are not fond of your recent promotion, I do believe this can help in building and strengthening relationships. What you would display if you go along with my approach is that you are willing to listen, you care enough to follow up, you are receptive to feedback, etc. (ultimately shows that you are there to support employees)

    The employee texting you on the weekend shows that it's something they are still thinking about that is not resolved in their mind. I would bring the employee in to allow them to share their concerns and give them the opportunity to be heard. If you can, have another HR rep that can be present or maybe the leader of the department (whoever manages the leader present in the original discussion). This new party can be the "tie breaker" in further explaining to the employee how the decision/situation was appropriate.

    Be sure to thank the employee for sharing their concerns and talking through it. Sympathize with them that you understand they are frustrated and know this is not the answer they were hoping for but by revisiting the matter, you hope they are able to have an understanding of the company's response - even if they don't agree with it.

    I always try to relate business situations to something the employee can relate to personally. If you want to share some more details on the conversation, I would be happy to recommend some topics that may help the employee accept the situation (even if they still don't agree with it).

13. AnonymousJune 10,2024 at 6:23PM UTC

    Thank you. I would love to learn some new things. Anything that you recommend would be appreciated.

    The follow up conversation the next day after the texts were received went fairly ok. The employee expressed how they felt like I was disengaged in the conversation to begin with and that they hoped I would have sided with them more than I did. The employee asked to leave early because they were not feeling well, and the manager said they could but asked them to finish a project before heading out. The project would have normally taken 5 minutes, but an error occurred and the employee had to stay 20 minutes instead. She was still able to leave afterwards, and it was around noon when she did. I apologized that it seemed like I was disconnected in the convo and that it wasn't my intent. I let her know during that conversation I had pulled up her timecard to see when her manager released her, and that I wasn't working on anything else but realize that the optics made it look different.

    Since then, the employee's manager had spoken with the team about arriving late and that everyone needs to be clocked in at the start of their shift. It had gotten to the point that employees were clocking in 5-10 minutes late daily and then sitting around and talking to others. In short, the message was not received well. Attitudes flared up and the employee mentioned in the post started talking negatively about her manager. We pulled her in and addressed the behavior. Right away she pointed the finger at upper management, saying that everyone is stuck up and rude and that all she wants is for them to say hi to her if they walk by.

    She has been distant and short with me. I know she is upset, and I can't find a reason to fix the problem when she did something very vindictive to me and I'd rather keep that to myself instead of posting it on here. But because of how far she reached on it, I have spoken with an outside attorney.

14. maria roseJune 10,2024 at 8:23PM UTC

    Sure sounds like the employee in question here, doesn’t deal well personally with any restrictions on their attendance and expects a different kind of comradely interaction with their both their colleagues and supervisors despite the fact that that work colleagues ( coworkers and supervisors) are not required to be BFFs in a normal workplace environment —maybe that’s the issue with the situation—this employee has an ideal workplace atmosphere in their vision of the perfect workplace and doesn’t understand that it’s not a reality at this workplace. I am quite sure that there’s a workplace that has this but not at this company. HR personnel are not guidance counselor for the employees to vent about their emotional distress in doing the job they were hired to do but a source of information about company policies. Your suggest course of action—another sit down with the addition of a neutral other HR might help address the concerns of this individual but this individual needs more than just another conversation rehashing the reason why they had the first meeting and will not address their distress about the need to follow the clock-in and out procedures. Just guessing, this individual reacts negatively to time constraints and they have yet to find their preferred work time schedule to fit the business model. Maybe suggest that they would not be constrained by clocking in schedule if they realize that they would be losing paid time since the company pays by the minute for hourly pay or they can stay longer at the end of the day to make up the late start. A suggested form of making them realize that the workplace doesn’t revolve around their personal schedule and has requirements in attendance when to be present in the workplace. The manager/supervisor may want everyone present and involved at the start of each day to pass on vital job tasks that have to occur at that specific time frame of the workplace.. I don’t know about the necessity of needing a lawyer unless this employee is trying to make this situation into an harassment complaint but if you presented the dialogue as written here, you were following the guidelines of the company policies and this employee is just looking for an excuse to move on with workers compensation ( not unemployment benefits) . Your company’s legal department should advise you for the best way to deal with this if that’s the employee’s response to any corrective actions.

15. AnonymousJune 11,2024 at 8:25PM UTC

    My first response was long and so is this one - sorry!

    I have experienced employees like this many times. By chance do you work in manufacturing? haha

    First off - glad you addressed the employee's texts and listened to their feedback. It's great you acknowledged their perception of you looking at your computer and that you told them what you were doing. I had a somewhat similar experience but the employee muttered something under their breath while we were still meeting so I was able to address real time. I even turned my screen around to show them (I referred to it in the conversation so this action was appropriate but also by keeping it turned gave them full confirmation I was engaged). I learned from this situation by verbalizing what I was doing to the employee which has worked well. I sometimes even phrase it as a question so they feel like they are giving approval (a bit of a power play if you want to call it that) - I want to look up "xyz" while we are talking. I think it may help our discussion. Do you mind if I do that real quick? You could also say they can pause talking if they prefer to wait.

    The second part is a lot to unpack. I would guess she is a long tenured employee that has seen a lot of change and is resistant to new changes (perhaps referencing to "how things used to be done").

    You have to gauge the individual and situation, but sometimes you have to really level set with an employee. Ask her something along the lines of this: if you were a manager or owned your own company, do you think it's a realistic expectation for employees to be on time? If you are the manager/owner - would you agree that it would be difficult to have start of shift team huddles when the team isn't fully present? How late arrivals impact production? (or whatever relevant examples you have).

    When people have complained about schedules to me in the past, I have even said - schedules are for a reason, for a company to be able to sufficiently plan for their business. Imagine if businesses didn't have schedules and employees came at their leisure, even if it's only 5 - 10 minutes late. Would you be happy if your kids school didn't start at a consistent time? If your doctor's hours changed? The grocery store isn't open? Because the collective team has somehow migrated to working a different schedule, there is going to be stricter enforcement of our policy but the expectations have not changed. (Reference handbooks / old communication to confirm this statement if needed. Yes, I've needed to do this before.)

    I have had employees complain that managers don't say hi when they walk by. Sometimes it really means something to the employee to have their presence acknowledged. They view managers walking by without acknowledgement as the managers thinking they're better than the workers. Encourage managers to interact and say hello when they go by - it doesn't have to be a conversation with every employee, every time, but generic hi's or how's it going could go a long way (if this isn't an isolated opinion). It can create a more "management is approachable" environment. A smile and a wave is free. (If you need to make a point, you could also ask the employee if she says hi every time she passes a manager or certain department - it's not personal and in some cases isn't reasonable to do all the time. I almost want to bet she wouldn't acknowledge management saying hi - I've had that happen a few times too).

    Sounds like she is correlating situations that are not actually connected. Her leaving early because she is unwell has nothing to do with her (and/or others) clocking in late. Therefore she needs to separate the instances.

    Unfortunately, HR can experience negative impacts from employees like this (employee openly complains to others and in turn, those employees act different towards HR). It is so tempting to change your behavior when an employee is not treating you nicely. I am not saying go out of your way, but try not to change your behaviors. The employee can never go back and say they were treated differently by HR and maybe over time they will warm to you.

    My honest opinion? It's a darned if you do, darned if you don't situation, but don't those happen in HR? Try your best to showcase your effort to the employee and give them less ammunition. (Ex: she can't say you don't care or weren't engaged. You followed up with her after the matter was closed. You listened to her concerns, apologized and explained why you were on the computer).

    Sometimes difficult to give advice not knowing more facts but hopefully this helps!

16. Rebecca MillikenJune 11,2024 at 1:54PM UTC

    If you were promoted to HR at a company where you were already a regular employee, I can see how some people may be resentful--not that I'm saying it's OK. I don't know if they are envious of your success or more just not wanting to take you seriously in your new role because they know you as a fellow employee.

    As for people texting you outside of business hours, time to set some bounderies. You can't be friends with people at work like you once were. Your job is to be removed from the rest of the workers, including managers, and be objective.

17. AnonymousJune 12,2024 at 12:51PM UTC

    I do believe that many employees have erroneously understood HR to be there to protect employees. I too have been guilty of this. However, HR's primary role is to protect the employer. They are not advocates for employees. I think it would benefit more employees if they had this baseline understanding.

18. AnonymousJune 12,2024 at 1:35PM UTC

    unfortunately, many people think that HR is for the employee. So not true! HR is all about the employer and anyone who thinks otherwise will one day learn the errors of their ways.

    And honestly, it is really hard to have any respect for anyone who works in HR...

19. Mary BurkhardtJune 12,2024 at 2:06PM UTC

    It all depends on how the HR rep is. To this day I am I. Contact with my HR rep from my first middle manager job. She is retired but we still chat and follow each other on FB. She was terrific and worked with me to get the right mix of employees in my department. We used to joke that we were partners in crime (PIC). We still say, "Hi PIC" as a te of endearment.

    That said I knew the rules and managed the employees just fine. She was more my hiring partner.

    I can say some HR programs have changed with technology use to centralize and specialize and it's essentially destroyed the relationships that HR had with its customers. I'm not fond of those robotic answers and even trying to negotiate FMLA the employee feels abandoned to fend for themselves without any guidance or coaching through the rough spots. One of the non-HR department people (works in our group as HR liaison) told one of my current employees not to talk to me about her illness and FMLA. I was livid and of course the employee ignored her lol. We are a close knit team and although the person was new, she knew I was trying to help her through her medical emergency.

    So it is highly variable.

20. AnonymousJune 12,2024 at 4:06PM UTC

    I don't think a question about whether or not 'Is HR for the company or the employee?' Is harassment. Its just a question.

    However, HR can really give an honest answer to that one without ticking off the employee. I've learned the hard way (over and over again) that HR is to protect the company. However, HR is helpful if you are a manager and you want to get some ideas on how to resolve an issue. I typically utilize them as a last resort though as they will sometimes want to escalate something I want to handle more covertly.

    If HR is your thing, act like a duck and water and let comments roll off your back. You need to develop a thick skin if you work in HR. If you don't, you'll be unhappy. Stop worrying about what people think, and learn how to be really good at HR. If you do, people will see you are obviously well deserving of your new role.

21. AnonymousJune 13,2024 at 4:28PM UTC

    This comment is borderline disrespectful. HR is absolutely there for the employee, but HR is also responsible for upholding any company policies while also abiding by all local laws. HR is what it is - a resource for humans. HR is not law enforcement, HR is not legal, HR is not a financial institution, HR is there to provide options of solutions for a particular issue.

    As a new person in the HR/People field, I am hopeful that perceptions of HR will change for the better - more now than ever before because employees in general are speaking out against injustices and fighting for their rights (remote work, pay transparency and fair pay, accommodations, unlawful terminations, etc). I know that I am amongst a population in HR that wants to make positive changes, so that our future generations don’t have to suffer what we and prior generations did.

22. AnonymousJune 13,2024 at 6:17PM UTC

    It is not disrespectful. If your skin is this thin and you are offended, you are clearly not cut out for a career in HR.

23. AnonymousJune 13,2024 at 7:26PM UTC

    I have to intervene and make it known that your comment to the new HR rep above is not needed. When we all start in a new career, most people are excited to start a new journey and we all have hopes and dreams of making it a good one. That is until comments like yours shoot people down. You clearly have lost your north star of being professional and decent to others and your post obviously struck a nerve on me to make me just as unprofessional as you. I thought this platform was about supporting other people in a business matter, not trying to tear one another down. Take that elsewhere like Facebook where drama thrives.

    And just so you know, yes, your comment about not having respect for those in HR is disrespectful and that has nothing to do with "thick skin" or not. Would you prefer HR be as candid and blunt as I am in this post? The answer is no. Someone on this thread said it best, you are damned if you do, and you are damned if you don't.

24. AnonymousJune 14,2024 at 8:13PM UTC

    New HR rep commenter here - appreciate your comment, but as the other commenter kindly stated, something being disrespectful has zero to do with thickness of skin.

    You are part of the population that perpetuates the issue. So I have to have “thick skin” to be in HR, but employees can feel “disrespected” when the outcome is not in their favor? It’s hard to help employees if there’s a trust gap on the employee side. If you expect HR to see the human behind the employee, please give the same respect to recognize the human behind the HR.

    I truly appreciate the comment that supported me - no worries here, the comment only worked to empower me as I progress in my career. People who aim to trample on others in order to feel better about themselves usually need the grace.

    How’s that for tHicK SkiN?

25. AnonymousJune 13,2024 at 11:30AM UTC

    I can agree to disagree as an HR professional in higher ed for almost 20 years.

    I am not there to be for the interest of the employer. I am there to interpret and ensure compliance of all state and federal laws. And to ensure equity.

    Me or any HR professional being for the employer will only ever put you in many litigation.

    However because of the bad experiences me and others may have had that is the assumption. I’ve seen firsthand HR be the excuse for issues or delays simply because a manager or leadership wanted a scapegoat and what better excuse than the area ppl tend to not like.

    But also as I said before, I’ve heard HR in corporate can be horrible and I have seen these who are suppose to be impartial be petty and THINK they are only there for the employers best interest. However, that is not and should not be the case.

26. AnonymousJune 16,2024 at 3:45PM UTC

    Yes I am. Good to hear your experiences. They are not mines.

    I was referring to this individuals specific concerns which do not involve currently litigation unless I missed something.

    At the end of the day if a manager or leadership is in the wrong, it should not be overlooked because it puts the company in a negative predicament. We shouldn’t double down on defending wrong…that was my point in needing to be neutral/impartial, period.

    I don’t know why people feel the need to go back and forth on something others may or may not agree on… as i stated, I agree to disagree.

    Good luck to you on that…

27. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 8:49PM UTC

    Labor unions and honest don't go in the same sentence lol