I’m leaving my company after 11 years.

Anonymous

October 3,2022 at 3:34PM UTC

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I’m leaving my company after 11 years. I’m leaving because I do not feel part of the team, I don’t feel like I belong and I don’t feel like I’ve cultivated any true relationships in 11 years. All my reviews are excellent, I have no trouble making friends outside of work. Essentially for whatever reason the culture sucks -at least for me. Noone has even suggested getting together for a farewell drink so I know I’ve made the right decision.(they’ve done post pandemic get together for others).

My question is this -do I even bother reaching out to the person three levels above me to express my appreciation for having worked here ? He’s been in meetings with me he knows my name and I’ve even met with him on one on ones many times throughout the 11 years to help him and I can’t believe he hasn’t reached out to me to wish me well. I’m feeling hurt AND used and really don’t want to say any more goodbyes. I’ve landed somewhere I feel good about. I’ve already done the appropriate meetings with my manager and his boss am I good?

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AnonymousOctober 3,2022 at 3:44PM UTC
You don't need to force yourself to do anything you don't feel good about.
I, personally, have never set expectations on people. I always reach because I want to and because I want to put positive energy into my exists. I'm not keeping score. I truly wish everyone well and am so happy and excited for my next adventure. I have always left with grace and good intentions expressed in my personal rounds of goodbyes. I've never taken other's lack if overtures personally. They must watch me walk out the door and scramble to fill the gap I'm leaving.
I love that feeling of pure joy when I am filled with gratitude and well wishes on my part as I glide into my new future.
AnonymousOctober 3,2022 at 4:20PM UTC
Yes, you have done what I would deem as acceptable professionalism on your way out.
Good luck at your new company!
Holly NunnallyOctober 3,2022 at 4:33PM UTC
I would only reach out if I felt drawn to do so. I might also reach out if I felt like it might help me professionally at some point down the road.
If you don't really *want* to, and you are just asking if you *have* to, I say no.
AnonymousOctober 3,2022 at 5:00PM UTC
I’d say yes— not for him, but for you. You might need him down the road, and you might feel better about approaching him if you’ve exited this situation with surpassing grace.
Sharon GrehanOctober 3,2022 at 5:01PM UTC
I recommend sending a positively worded email (if you don't want to reach put in person), you never know when your paths will cross again and it will help you stand out/be remembered. Congratulations on making this brave move.
Kristie WhiteOctober 3,2022 at 5:21PM UTC
You are good but reaching out to this executive may do you good as well. Many in management feel uncomfortable in personal interactions. He may expect you to reach out to him. He may not want it to look like he is interfering. Or he may be disappointed and hurt that you are leaving, he thought you were happy. Reach out for closure and because you respect him to explain and say goodbye.
AnonymousOctober 3,2022 at 6:00PM UTC
If you are hurting and feel disrespected and don't want to reach out because of your painful lack of connections then skip it.
But, as others have mentioned, you may want to forge a strong impression in case you'd like to network and use them for reference in the future. 11 years is a long time.
If you are not interested in networking and this company is a personal letdown then move on to you new job with optimism. Hopefully this new company will connect with you.
NepetaOctober 3,2022 at 6:07PM UTC
It never hurts to take the high road. You don't know what the future holds; and the older I get, the truer I find the maxim "What goes around, comes around."
My suggestion is to write a general farewell email to the relevant group of people (including the ones who have not so far acknowledged your departure or planned any social activity for it), and also send a short handwritten note (on a nice notecard) to the person 3 levels up.
Kimberly GrahamOctober 3,2022 at 6:11PM UTC
It seems common to send a bcc farewell email, so if it were me I would go that route include him and expect nothing in response.
Crystal HowellOctober 3,2022 at 7:01PM UTC
It seems it is time to move on to the next chapter waiting for you . If they don't reach out, you send a group email thanking all for the opportunity, and you have learned a lot and enjoyed friendships made. Pursuing other business interests, is your calling. Don't be sad, they are very sad and cold people.
AnonymousOctober 3,2022 at 8:12PM UTC
Do what no one cares you are leaving? Their loss.
AnonymousOctober 4,2022 at 2:51PM UTC
Are you confident this executive knows you are leaving? You would be very surprised how often managers miss relaying this type of information because it’s assumed as a known. As others mention write a thank you/farewell note to relevant parties and include him to open the door for communication. Also, if you want this person backing you in the future proactively reach out to see about one last catch up and any advice (be very pointed though in your ask - specific scenario, attaining a goal/future role, etc). Good luck and hope you find a better culture fit in your next role!
Barb HansenOctober 4,2022 at 9:26PM UTC
Chances are the executive doesn't know that you are leaving, so my advice is to not take their silence personally.
I would wait until I left the company and then reach out to the person on LinkedIn, thanking them for their interactions (or whatever you enjoyed working with them). I would also ask for a connection and I would give them a recommendation.
You're moving on to a better job but there is no reason why you can't keep/make/extend a connection with this executive.
Maegan, Nike Sales Rep & Career CoachOctober 5,2022 at 9:59PM UTC
I agree with Barb below! Try not to take it personally. It definitely will not hurt to reach out to the executive, you never know how beneficial that connection/relationship can be in the future and I think it's always a positive thing for you and the other person to express gratitude.
Glad you've landed somewhere you feel good about!
AnonymousOctober 6,2022 at 2:23PM UTC
I would recommend you reach out to anyone that has made a positive impact on you.
I know they'll appreciate you reaching out no matter the conversation.