My job review was good on paper but I was berated by the manager who delivered it, saying more than one unkind thing about me, and also handing me more responsibilities for the future.

12 Comments

1. Sacred MythDecember 29,2024 at 2:44PM UTC

   I know it can be hard but state the facts just the facts as clearly as you can, don’t nod along with gaslighting, exaggeration or lies make it clear: you can’t gaslight me. Send a “Veronica” style recap email identifying as plainly and truthfully as possible (see YouTube) where you write down everything you discuss. If you’re uncomfortable writing down the weird lies just say that: I emphasized or clarified that…. And just state the facts. If they disagree they can email back in writing.

   It’s time consuming but worth it to preserve sanity.

2. AnonymousDecember 29,2024 at 3:05PM UTC

   What I’m reading is you perform well but the manager doesn’t like you. Request the new duties in writing and with that request a pay increase. Best case if management changes are coming maybe this person will not be managing you.

3. AnonymousDecember 29,2024 at 5:12PM UTC

   Make sure your job description is accurate and performance evaluations are based on objective information to the extent possible. Specifically look at the additional responsibilities and be sure they are aligned. The fact that the review is good on paper and you are getting more responsibilities is great because that manager may be gone but your record will remain. That said, be sure you have a copy; you might be able to do better elsewhere.

4. AnonymousDecember 29,2024 at 8:45PM UTC

   Keep your head down and deliver exemplary work. Keep the rest of your life joyful and peaceful so that you find serenity and happiness.

5. AnonymousDecember 30,2024 at 1:24PM UTC

   If a management shakeup is coming, your manager's behavior may have reflected more of their anxieties than anything you did or did not do. If you are getting more responsibilities and they are aligned with your career goals and job description, that shows that you are valued and moving up. Pay more attention to what is written than what was said because that is what you can prove and what upper management sees.

6. AnonymousDecember 30,2024 at 1:34PM UTC

   Exactly! Documentation is everything!

7. Melissa McHughJanuary 1,2025 at 1:40PM UTC

   This is great advice. My manager is a lot like this, when she feels stress or pressure, she typically lashes out at certain people and nitpicks little things. For me, it helps to remind myself that it's a direct reflection on her and who she is as a person, rather than a reflection of any who I am as an employee.

8. AnonymousDecember 30,2024 at 6:03PM UTC

   Breathe, and write a rebuttal with documentation if you do not agree to the details in the written document you received. Also if the comments were verbal document those and bring those as well to the conversation. It may not shift much or change anything but covering your tush is perhaps the best way not to have issues with a soon to be change in leadership. Don't let one conversation taint your happiness. Breathe and take the feedback with a grain of salt unless it was productive information.

9. AnonymousJanuary 2,2025 at 12:21PM UTC

   This is the best advice.

   Reiterate the verbal conversation to ensure what you understood was the intention of the manager delivering the message.

   When my first supervisor left (I didn't apply for his position at that time, although I have it now). I knew the person they hired was going to be a bad hire. I didn't say anything and kept doing my work as normal. He left such a bad representation of me.

   3 months after she started, she asked for a meeting with me and our manager. She apologized to me because she said she hadn't given me a proper chance because of all she heard about how difficult I was and how I was going to back stab her at every turn. Our manager told her that was NOT me and the previous supervisor only felt that way because everyone knew I was doing his job and my job.

   If any of the review was true, acknowledge it and develop a plan to improve those rankings or request feedback on the best way to improve.

   If you are doing you job and the review was ok, prove his/her words to be wrong!!

10. AnonymousJanuary 2,2025 at 5:31PM UTC

    The chief thing that you should do is to NOT take the manager's negativity to heart. If they were having a bad day or wanted to unload onto someone, who knows?? Who and what you are as an employee has been recorded on your performance review, period! I would think that this would take precedence over someone's opinion any day.

    Now, if you want to refute what was "said" about you, should your character ever be called into question, then okay, document the verbal exchange. In the meantime, go in confidence.

11. AnonymousJanuary 2,2025 at 8:48PM UTC

    Best thing you can do with along the rest of it is what I did even if illegal in your state big CYA:

    R*** USA HR conducts fake Investigation to cover employee threatened with physical violence 20 feet from office VP of IT.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dWuTzWfTas

    33.97245356301111, -84.08676942155229

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjQf0g_MiV4

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=re7mlS_YPNs

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbW9rzh_LW8

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaYN5lDsdpE

12. AnonymousJanuary 2,2025 at 11:12PM UTC

    Be sure to document everything. Try to start looking for another job if possible.