Why do I always vent around some people?

16 Comments

1. AnonymousApril 21,2025 at 11:28AM UTC

   Well I could have named the negative emotions instead if just venting, or find the emotion underneath. Dissapointment is a negative emotions,

   Frustration are negative emotion,

   Annoyance is a negative, annoyance are mild.

   I am unlearning toxic positivity.

2. AnonymousApril 21,2025 at 11:30AM UTC

   My brain feels stuck if it isn't going through it's emotion list.

3. Megan LeasherApril 21,2025 at 12:05PM UTC

   Being aware of your triggers is a powerful tool that many don't possess. Take advantage of it by pausing and thinking about something you could share that is demonstrating gratitude or positivity instead. Then take that needed vent and share it with those close to you, outside of the workplace. Hang in there! We are all fallible human beings who need to get the toxicity out of us.

4. AnonymousApril 25,2025 at 9:18AM UTC

   I do journal from time to time. It sometimes feels like a needle in the hay stack when it comes to triggers. Life is unpredictable particularly in a complex world.

5. AnonymousApril 21,2025 at 8:33PM UTC

   We all need a person to vent to, however, if you find yourself doing it with many others, you are at risk for being a part of the problem.

6. AnonymousApril 22,2025 at 12:47PM UTC

   People will start to distance themselves from you if this behavior continues. As you vent, you transfer your problems to someone else. It's a drag. I intentionally surround myself with positive people who lift me up. Stating that you're not perfect isn't a get out of jail free card to unload on other people.

7. Paulla Fetzek, MSEdApril 22,2025 at 1:02PM UTC

   No, but it DOES say you're human.

   I appreciate that you want to be around positive people - but even the most positive of people can have a bad day.

   I disagree with you saying that people will distance themselves. SOME will, of course. But others will also lend a sympathetic ear if not try to find a solution.

8. Paulla Fetzek, MSEdApril 22,2025 at 1:07PM UTC

   I respectfully disagree that venting is a negative. In fact, several professional studies show the exact opposite:

   https://www.heart.org/en/news/2023/07/28/is-venting-good-for-your-health

   https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/does_venting_your_feelings_actually_help

   https://www.nelson.edu/thoughthub/communication/the-psychology-of-venting/

   Yes... there are studies that say venting is bad too. That it can continue the negative cycle.

   For what it's worth - here's my take.

   Go ahead and vent. Let go of that which bothers you. But when you're done venting... You're done. Don't let whatever was bothering you linger. Use venting as a coping or resetting mechanism, and then move on.

   We're all fallible human beings my friend. Venting doesn't mean you're a horribly negative person. It means you're human.

9. AnonymousApril 25,2025 at 9:07AM UTC

   Thank you.

10. AnonymousApril 22,2025 at 1:34PM UTC

    Venting or gossip is not bad unless its intent is to harm others. Studies (google them) show it can actually be helpful to the person needing to vent. However, in my long long years of working, venting can also backslide. I highly suggest you find a friend you don't work with so the venting or gossip doesn't get around. I also have learned you don't want anything you say to come back as a negative impression on you. Work is not all roses and candy. It's hard, we deal with difficult people and situations too. It is a good idea to get a lunch group, book club group, or some work group together outside of happy hours to spend time with that share your same interests. It sure helps having that to talk about than negative things.

11. AnonymousApril 25,2025 at 9:06AM UTC

    I didn't think of starting one. Or I had when I initially started. I could have invited the lady who I was venting around. I couldn't detach from my venting.

12. AnonymousApril 25,2025 at 9:06AM UTC

    Is it a good idea to invite him or her?

13. AnonymousApril 25,2025 at 7:10PM UTC

    Probably create something that induces conversation about things other than work. And make sure you tell everyone, this isn't a venting session as it is a book club, or whatever you decide to engage in. If you are drawn into any venting conversations, say you know, I am working on thinking positively and would prefer to talk about other things.

14. AnonymousApril 22,2025 at 6:39PM UTC

    If you need to vent try and involve only people outside of work. Venting or gossiping at work is unprofessional.

15. AnonymousApril 25,2025 at 9:04AM UTC

    Good idea. Thank you. Oh, it takes some days to recieve responses.

16. AnonymousApril 25,2025 at 9:16AM UTC

    To change karma I decided to try and add one positive compliment to every person I met. Not every thing is happy all of the time. And keeping healty involves keeping people.