Hi Friends!

Anonymous

October 12,2022 at 3:25PM UTC

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Hi Friends!

I recently started a new job in May. I am an EA for a healthcare system and support 3 different VP's. Most recently, one of my VP's (who I spend more time with then the other) has completely started to become negative. About his job, our team, about Sr. Executives. To the point where it is non-stop, all day every day. He literally vents to other coworkers, other VPs, etc. To his defense, he is micromanaged by his Sr. leader, and does not have the access to do what he needs to. Every day I leave work drained.

How do you or would you handle this everyday occurrence? Is it rude to use like air pods to just tune it out?

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Echo SchneiderOctober 12,2022 at 3:35PM UTC
I'm sorry to hear that the environment has become so unhealthy as a result of that VPs behavior. Unfortunately toxic employees can be found at all levels of organizations if the company allows it.
I strongly encourage you to do whatever steps you need to protect your space and mental energy for your work. The air pods sound great if they are allowed in your workplace!
You may also want to be mentally prepared for how you might be able to provide constructive feedback to this VP or others if the opportunity presents.
AnonymousOctober 12,2022 at 3:40PM UTC
I would very briefly let him know that you are struggling to stay positive and would like him not ti share negative opinions with you. Explain your mental health suffers around negativity. And that you hope he understands.
Sharon GrehanOctober 12,2022 at 3:42PM UTC
What a difficult situation you are in. I support AirPods if your company allows it and remember that this type of open complaining will likely come back to bite him. Listen when you have to but don't respond with anything other than empathetic comments that signal the end of a discussion (eg that must be difficult) to hopefully help shut it down.
KatOctober 12,2022 at 3:54PM UTC
While air pods might be a good solution, you need to be more blunt about it. Many men do not get (or take) subtle hints that women tend to give. Be empathetic, ("sorry that's happening" or "that sucks" type responses) but set boundaries. Let him know that you need to get back to whatever project you're working on and hope things get better. Then go to your office/workspace, put in your headphones and shut the door (if you have one). You may also suggest (if you are able) some actions he could take to fix the situation, since most men are action oriented. He sounds really unhappy, so I hope he either transfers to another area or finds another job. Chances are he might need to find one soon, if he's so open about his unhappiness. I'm sure his bosses have noticed and been informed about his complaints. He might not be there much longer.
AnonymousOctober 12,2022 at 4:49PM UTC
Agreed with the other commenter. I would tell him directly - in a fact-based & direct way. E.g., when you did x, y, z in the past three days, I feel y and had trouble concentrating. I'm concerned about this impact this could have on your team. And then suggest a solution. (FWIW, it sounds like this person is either close to quitting/getting fired or having some personal life difficulties that are being taken out at work).