Hi there. I actually just wrote about this in my weekly newsletter so I'm just going to copy and paste that, in hopes that it will be helpful to you...
There is something in the air this week, pervading the senses, seeping through the pores, permeating the space around us. Sniff, sniff.. what is that?
That, my friend, is the acrid smell of ANXIETY. My clients are absolutely steeped in it. Each session this week has started with a similar refrain. So many unknowns, so much ruminating, brain churning and turning. Executive orders coming through fast and furious. My clients, many of whom work in government or branches of the military, are struggling to work out when and how and who will be impacted. Other clients are struggling to learn new roles, struggling to reach the next rung on the ladder, or just… struggling.
Can we all just take a minute and take a breath? Let's do it together now. Deep breath in through the nose, two, three, four… now out through the mouth, two, three, four. And again, one more deep breath. In, two, three, four… out, two, three, four.
Okay. Now. There are a couple of things that can really be helpful when dealing with anxiety and they are so incredibly simple, quick and effective that I think it's worthwhile sharing them with you, in case you are also having a stressful start to the week.
Step #1: Say hello to your inner two-year-old…
Let's talk about your spicy brain. The one that feels like a runaway train. The one that is taking you for a ride. We think our anxiety is coming from the circumstances that surround us. But in actuality, anxiety is almost always future-focused - it is produced by a thought or group of thoughts about what could happen, what will happen, what might happen. It is almost never about right now. The first thing to recognize is that these are just… thoughts. In and of themselves, thoughts aren't all-powerful. You are the one that gives them power. And…
YOUR BRAIN IS LIKE A TWO-YEAR-OLD ON CRACK RUNNING WITH SCISSORS.
When left unattended, it can do a lot of damage. So the first step is to take a breath and remember that the thing that's causing you to spin out is most likely not the circumstance, but your thoughts about the circumstance. Simply identifying that your brain is like an unmanageable toddler on a sugar high having a screaming tantrum can produce a sense of awareness, and can help put you back in the driver's seat.
Step #2: Redirect…
How effective is it to scream at a toddler? Would you criticize or demean or berate the toddler for running with scissors? Noooooooo. Of course you wouldn't! So do NOT berate yourself for having a human brain. Do not demand of your human brain to just shut the hell up. Do not expect your human brain to "just get over it” or “just quit thinking about it already”.
"Quit thinking about pink elephants!" you shout internally. Or, “Just get over the damn pink elephants, already!” Errrm, what are you focused on now? Something rather large and rosy with a long trunk, right? Not effective.
Instead, we want to gently redirect the toddler. “Wow, look at the pretty bird out the window!” you might exclaim, gently pulling the scissors out of the toddler's grasp and turning their body toward the view. That is your next step - redirect. The easiest way to do this is to focus on the present. Some call it the five senses exercise, some call it the three things exercise. It goes something like this…
- Name three things you can feel. Maybe the chair under your butt. Your fingers on the keyboard. Your hair tickling your neck.
- Name three things you can see… The reflection of the light on a glass candle holder. The wood grain of my desk. The light from my computer screen.
- Name three things you can smell… The magnolia scent of the candle. The smell of perfume on my wrist. The smell of coffee from the cup next to me.
You can also do this with taste and hearing. You can do all five senses or just pick three. Up to you. The trick is to get into your body, to get present. There is a pattern interrupt that happens in the brain when you do this. Wellness gurus talk about "cultivating presence", and indeed it can be a powerful way to relieve stress. Because almost always, you are okay in this current moment.
So that's it. Try it out. It only takes a few minutes at most, and can be an excellent way to break the pattern of your unruly brain. Mostly, be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself with care and kindness and understanding. Your toddler-brain deserves it.
Sending you lots of hugs and warm mental blankets,
Cat the Coach
Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional. There is anxiety disorder as clinically defined by the DSM, and there's the colloquial use of the term "anxiety" commonly used in every day language to talk about feelings of stress, fear, overwhelm, etc. I am referring to the latter when I talk about anxiety. We all know that feeling.
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