Hi, I'm in a technical field, am a perfectionist, am detail oriented and perceptive, and apt to be emotional.

33 Comments

1. AnonymousJanuary 10,2026 at 5:48PM UTC

   What’s making managing your emotions more difficult, your perimenopaussl symptoms?

2. AnonymousJanuary 10,2026 at 6:51PM UTC

   Not sure what advice you want here. If you truly believe it is because of your menopause perhaps seek your MDs advice on how to regulate this. If it is because of your need to be included perhaps a conversation with your manager about why you might have been excluded will give you answers and comfort. As a sensitive person letting others know in advance or at the inception of a relationship how you take feedback and process information may help. Be sure to take care of yourself and not be reactionary in these instances because in a work setup this can more harm you than others. Good luck.

3. Hella WillisJanuary 10,2026 at 10:02PM UTC

   I’m like this too. You’re not alone, for what it’s worth.

   Believe it or not, managing cortisol by taking a lot of protein (~1 gram per pound of body weight is what I do) plus being well hydrated could help. Check with your doctor, first, of course.

   good luck OP
   ?

4. Farah BajwaJanuary 11,2026 at 5:50AM UTC

   look into dong quai and a peruvian root called maca. They help with female hormones and emotional regulation. seeweed can also help but that can be an acquired taste :)

5. The Moonlit QuillJanuary 11,2026 at 8:44AM UTC

   As a woman who experienced surgical menopause at age 37 (am now 50). I can tell you this much; menopause is the DEVIL. It's especially bad when your body is suddenly and instantaneously robbed of all estrogen.

   These changes, even in natural-onset menopause turn us into banshees, harpies, balls of frayed nerves, and insomniacs. It can turn your life upside down for a prolonged period of time. I won't sugar-coat it, it sucks.

   What you're going through is normal and natural; and, while I know that is of little comfort, it helps to know you're not going mad, right?

   My best advice is to try adding Red Clover (potent plant estrogen) and SAM-e supplements to your daily diet. Red Clover helps your body manage hot flashes, night sweats, brain fog, and other physical effects of menopause. SAM-e (S-adenosylmethionine) is a naturally occurring compound in the body that helps regulate mood, brain function, and joint health.

   Please note, that as your body's estrogen production naturally drops during menopause, your bones become vulnerable to osteoporosis and osteoarthritis. Keeping an eye on your blood's Vitamin D content is also helpful. Many of us are deficient and don't even realize it. It's a vital nutrient our bodies need to function properly. Without it, a great many things can go awry.

   Give yourself some grace, and know that you're not alone and you're certainly not losing it. Consider talking it over with your primary care provider. You can request HRT to help alleviate the worst symptoms, but your doctor will determine if that is the correct course of action. Mine occured as a result of ovarian cancer, so I wasn't given HRT as a result. I snuck the Red Clover through Amazon, and used SAM-e to manage night terrors, feelings of dread, and banshee level mood swings.

   I hope this helps! Remember, be gentle with yourself as you endure this unavoidable stage of life. It eventually passes, so there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

6. AnonymousJanuary 11,2026 at 8:52AM UTC

   I think therapy would help you tremendously. "Perfectionism," is actually tooted in fear. So therapy will help you understand where that fear comes from. Losing control of your emotions will definitely impact your career if it hasn't already. You can definitely learn ways to gain perspective and healthy habits to self regulate so you don't damage your career and relationships.

   Good luck.

7. AnonymousJanuary 11,2026 at 1:46PM UTC

   Perimenopause is the WORST. As if we women don't have enough to go through and enough stigma in the workplace for being "too emotional" we get smacked with this crap in our 40s and 50s.

   Therapy is not a bad way to learn some new coping mechanisms. Frankly, I think we call could do with some therapy (men and women both).

   Talk to your doctor about this. There are supplements and things like HRT that can help regulate your hormones and keep your emotions more stable.

8. SPQJanuary 11,2026 at 3:56PM UTC

   Agree with this post and the one about HRT. It's not just about the mood, but you could experience other peri-menopausal symptoms that make day to day harder (like muscle aches and cramps, brain fog).

   As with therapy, I highly recommend you work with someone that tailor a solution that speaks specifically to you. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) could be something they lead you through. Make sure you look for a therapist that works with emotional regulation.

9. AnonymousJanuary 11,2026 at 2:04PM UTC

   Could you have undiagnosed neurodivergence?

10. AnonymousJanuary 12,2026 at 1:58PM UTC

    More likely hormone related. Peri hrt is really important

11. AnonymousJanuary 12,2026 at 2:20PM UTC

    I would say that this (the individual responding possible undiagnosed ND) is possible spot-on. OP says that this is not a new thing, it's ongoing, but worsened - ADHD and peri-m are a disastrous duo together. Ask me how I know.

12. AnonymousJanuary 11,2026 at 2:15PM UTC

    I can relate. Realize that you are better and are a more caring person than the catty people at work who left you off the call (if it was done on purpose-- could they have thought you were busy with another call or some sort of honest mistake?). Consider asking why you were left out of the call if you feel comfortable doing so. If not, just realize that if nasty, petty people don't like you, you are probably doing something RIGHT.

    I had a supervisor who often singled me out and belittled me in front of others. My strategy was to stay completely calm, thank her for the feedback, and never give her one inkling of a hint that she hurt my feelings. Every day, I took the time to come to work looking my absolute best; hair styled, tasteful makeup, and a statement-making outfit, making a point to say good morning to her with a smile. I outlasted her; she no longer works there. The thing to do is always silently count 10 before replying to a rude person at work, visualizing your paycheck hitting the bank, and making sure not to say anything that could stop that from happening; I.e. don't say anything that could get you fired. As for the perimenopause, ask your doctor if there is a prescription or over-the-counter medication that can help your emotions to stabilize, but also realize it's not just hormones; everyone feels hurt when someone puts them down or excludes them. Treat yourself extra kindly outside of work, doing the things you enjoy and spending time with people who appreciate you.

13. SPQJanuary 11,2026 at 4:03PM UTC

    It's infuriating, but I think calling them "carry" "nasty" and "petty" are really triggering words for someone who is already upset.

    Fueling anger with more anger is perpetuating the cycle, not sympathy.

    Counting to 10 with deep, slow breaths is a good strategy. So is naming the feelings that come up and ruminating about the feeling itself ("I am angry. I feel my jaw clench. I feel hot. My heart feels weak. I also feel hurt."). Another way is to name the 5 senses you are experiencing ("I see the dark plastic of my keyboard. I hear the low him of the air conditioning. I feel the fabric of my dress...").

14. AnonymousJanuary 11,2026 at 9:06PM UTC

    Deep breathe, take a brisk walk, pray, dive into a work task, listen to music or positive affirmations, and let it go. Shift your mindset and try not to take it personally.

    Outside of work, eat clean, exercise, and get enough sleep.

15. AnonymousJanuary 11,2026 at 9:07PM UTC

    Excellent response!

16. maria roseJanuary 11,2026 at 9:44PM UTC

    You, the OP, already knew you had emotional triggers that you were dealing with and now you are also dealing with your body adding stress reactions that make it harder for you to remain calm when things trigger you. You may need both a physical checkup by your primary doctor who may refer you to a specialist doctor who can help you with the very real physical symptoms of perimenopause and menopause—and once those are addressed, possibly consider taking some therapy sessions to talk about your anxiety issues which also might need addressing. You are not the same physical woman of your youth where you can address situations by just avoidance because your body is going to react in contradiction to what you want to display to others—your hormones are fluctuating too much —worse than when you were a teenager. Get checked out and make adjustments as needed—you will be glad you did.

17. AnonymousJanuary 12,2026 at 1:57PM UTC

    I went thru this and now at 61 I say this with love: hormones. Get on hrt.

18. AnonymousJanuary 12,2026 at 2:29PM UTC

    Oh yes, shortly after getting on HRT it was like someone turned the lights on in a dark room

19. AnonymousJanuary 12,2026 at 1:59PM UTC

    Perhaps reach out to your gynecologist, there are new options to help you with peri-menopausal and menopausal symptoms.

20. April MJanuary 12,2026 at 2:25PM UTC

    It sounds like you may need medication for menopause. I would check with your doctor but keep it professional and keep it brief. Don't let them "experiment" on you as they have a tendency to do in the medical field.

21. AngieJanuary 12,2026 at 3:33PM UTC

    I think everyone answered this super well. I'm in my mid 40s, and I'm on a low dose pill. Helps a whole lot. However, I do feel that regardless of your age or whatever, leaving you out of the call was rude. Was it just an oversight? I would say it plainly that I would appreciate being on the call. It's not cool for them to leave you off!

22. AnonymousJanuary 12,2026 at 4:02PM UTC

    I’m reading a lot of the advice and most are suggesting some sort of medication. It seems that in order for the medication to be effective, psychological therapy sessions of some sort would make it even more effective. While I do not think your reaction to being left off a call is wrong at all. Your feelings of overwhelm and helplessness that render you unable to function are an issue. Good for you for wanting to do the work to get better. This is an opportunity for you to take the time and efffort to work with yourself. Menopause is a perfect time to do it. Find a great therapist and go exploring.

    on a side note, being left out is a huge trigger for many of us. Pay attention to who it was that left you off that call. Don’t do anything, just start to observe and don’t take it for granted that everyone is your buddy at work.

23. AnonymousJanuary 12,2026 at 6:31PM UTC

    Hormone replacement is not medication. Often times the simplest explanation is the right one. If HRT doesn’t work, then I would try therapy.

24. AnonymousJanuary 13,2026 at 1:56PM UTC

    FFS, another arm chair physician at work!

25. InterestingJanuary 14,2026 at 2:28PM UTC

    Bravo - excellent response! Ditto!

26. AnonymousJanuary 13,2026 at 2:54AM UTC

    Unnecessary and rude response.

27. AnonymousJanuary 13,2026 at 2:48PM UTC

    Try hormone replacement therapy. Low Estrogen can actually make a person feel crazy.

28. Lisa McCartneyJanuary 15,2026 at 5:29PM UTC

    Not only low estrogen but progesterone and testosterone. Look into Elevate M|D on face book where there are helpful tips and tricks as well as talking points for your OB.

29. Lisa McCartneyJanuary 15,2026 at 5:29PM UTC

    Obgyn I mean.

30. AnonymousJanuary 15,2026 at 2:13PM UTC

    Oh yes, please reach out to your OB/GYN. Once I went on to HRT it was like someone turned the light on in a dark rom. The estrogen patch is tiny, about the size of a tape flag and you wear it around your bikini area. You don't even notice it's there. Honestly, it is a total game changer!

31. AnonymousJanuary 16,2026 at 3:10PM UTC
    1. HRT--stat! You need your sleep and your equilibrium back. Trust me (and the others in this thread)--HRT works wonders. If you're not a candidate, there are alternative solutions, as well. Check out Dr. Claire Marie Haver's website. That will guide you as to the care you might want.
    2. The situation with your being left out of the innovation ideas call requires a follow-up with whoever scheduled that call. It would send my instincts up, as well.
32. AnonymousJanuary 17,2026 at 2:09PM UTC

    Email your innovation idea out and ask of anyone took notes so you can know if it was already mentioned. Don't let anyone know you were upset about being left out.

33. SproonkyWebMarch 4,2026 at 3:52PM UTC
    I can relate to feeling overwhelmed at work sometimes, especially when something seems unfair. Taking a short walk or stepping away from the screen helps me reset emotionally. During breaks I sometimes browse light entertainment sites like https://1winbonus-in.com/ to relax a bit.