New job starts tomorrow and issue with daycare/appointment: what should I do?

Anonymous

November 12,2023 at 4:23PM UTC

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New job starts tomorrow and issue with daycare/appointment: what should I do?

My son started at a daycare a few weeks ago, and it’s subsidized making them strict on requirements. Since I wasn’t working, his hours could only be 9-3:30pm— this allowed me time to find a job, which I soon did.

Last Wednesday, I found out that my onboarding requirements and background check went through, so I am start long Monday (tomorrow). I immediately let the coordinator of the daycare know so I could extend my sons hours, and she said my employer had to fill out a form and that there’s a 48h turnaround before his new hours can start.

My employer said they can’t legally fill out the employment verification form because I don’t technically start until Monday. They sent me my offer letter and asked if it was sufficient. I got this back to the childcare coordinator a few hours after she sent me the form and asked how to proceed. I never heard back.

I tried calling her several times and emailing but she never responded, and Friday was a holiday so perhaps she took an extra day off. I already emailed my HR lady and soon to be supervisor, but of course they’re on a holiday too.

Monday I have to be at orientation at 9am, and my roommate is going to help bring my son to daycare. I’m not sure what to say about the next few days; to make matters worse, I just realized my son had a Doctors appointment on Wednesday morning (his 1 year Appmt which was already pushed back so I really don’t want to miss it).

This is all rambling and a mess but what should I do? Should I email my manager to tell her about the doctors appointment? Wait until I see her in person tomorrow? I just feel stressed and my boyfriend works in construction far away so can’t help.

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Michele Knox-ThomasNovember 12,2023 at 5:03PM UTC
I would be honest with the supervisor regarding your dilemma and ask for a slight adjustment in schedule for the first week which will give you time to make a fresh start next week:
AnonymousNovember 12,2023 at 7:58PM UTC
I agree with other comments, go with honesty, apologize and be solution focused. Something like, "I'm so sorry but this is the situation, realistically I won't be able to/will need to do these things, how can we go forward here/what options will work for you?"
AnonymousNovember 13,2023 at 1:39AM UTC
I'd try to move the doctor's appointment to a non-work time (if available) unless you have a concern.
The childcare situation is stupid on the agency's part and creates a catch-22 for you. It should not be that hard to adjust a couple hours due to work schedule needs; you have subsidized child care to allow you to find work and go to the job. I agree with going in a little early if possible and/or asking as soon as you have an opportunity to if the supervisor has a few minutes to discuss some logistics around this week and explaining that you are working to resolve the issues your childcare provider presented with changing your son's hours, but you may need a little flexibility the first week until new hours are approved. Is there anything like compliance training modules online, etc., that you could do from home after picking up your kid to make up the time or another day or two where you could put in longer hours? Even if the answer is no, that shows you're trying to find a solution for them.
The good thing is that your workplace sounds aware that you were trying to get the needed documentation to change daycare hours; you could even say something like "I understand the company's position in saying they could not do employment verification before the start date, but my daycare provider _____ (has been slow to respond, or whatever you feel fits the case)_--, so I am working with them to expedite the schedule change for this week."
FWIW, I'm a dog mom only--I'm childfree by choice--and I would try to be understanding and work with a new coworker (if I was assigned to help train) or employee (if I were the manager) in this situation. Whether or not your supervisor is a parent, I hope they pass the decent human test on this one!
AnonymousNovember 13,2023 at 1:56PM UTC
Thank you this is so helpful! Given that the appointment was made prior to me knowing my start date, I think they will *hopefully* be ok with it. And yes the daycare thing is quite stupid - I should have been more proactive though and found out the process before the day I found out my start date was set in stone lol
AnonymousNovember 14,2023 at 8:38PM UTC
Go into work early on Monday. As soon as you meet your manager, let him/her know that you have to sort out your daycare situation for this week, and you will work extra hours to catch up on what needs to be done. Don’t drop any balls this week otherwise you will leave a bad impression.
As for the daycare, go into the daycare to see in person how you can smooth things out, maybe even pay a little to make sure they will take care of your children with the right hours.
Take a breath and stay calm. If you add anxious at work it will show. Act like it’s not a big problem and you can handle things.
AnonymousNovember 14,2023 at 11:15PM UTC
Excellent advise. You want to appear in control as it's how your employer will see how you operate under pressure. Most employers understand and will work with you if you're up front immediately. Make the orientation. Find close friends and family that can help. 48 Hours, while it may seem long when you want to make a good impression at your a new job, is good time to hold your daycare to the timeline they set. After all, they realize the importance and the impact to them too.
Denise CroftNovember 15,2023 at 1:52PM UTC
Can you get a high school student near the daycare to help or church day cares?
rgstaffing@bellsouth.netNovember 15,2023 at 2:01PM UTC
You need to delay your start date. You are not ready yet.
Karen MullinNovember 15,2023 at 2:39PM UTC
Delay the doctor's appointment. It's a nice-to- have not a necessity, unless they're is an actual issue which it doesn't appear to be the case.
maria roseNovember 15,2023 at 3:45PM UTC
Congrats on getting the job and the fact that you have subsidized childcare . I am assuming that the childcare has a set hours and doesn’t include weekends or aftercare unless you pay for the service—so basically the care was to provide you time to work during those hours which means that you should have discussed your hours of availability with the job as compatible with both their schedules and your childcare schedule. I am also assuming that you have no real backup childcare beyond the childcare program that you have your child enrolled in.
In order for you to work and continue with this childcare program, you need to be honest upfront with your employer about your availability—take for instance that doctor’s appointment mentioned. Most regularly scheduled appointments are made in advance —you get a choice of available appointments when you make those appointments and get a reminder card from the doctor’s office. We will assume that the excitement of being hired made you forget about that appointment until right now the day before your start date of work. Again, you should on day one of work make sure that your availability ( which is involved around your childcare coverage) is made clear. That will help you get the paperwork needed by the childcare provider from your employer.. The employer is merely verifying that you are employed X amount of hours per day/week and paid X amount. I assume that you want the childcare to continue to be a subsidized service until you start earning a decent salary too. Part of the pleasure of being a parent is adapting your lifestyle around your childcare needs first. And I don’t get the impression that you want to stay home full time without also earning money from a job. Not knowing what kind of job you got hired for, I can only assume that at present you need to be present at the job and you can do so during your covered childcare program hours. Hopefully you can be excused from being at work to get your child to that doctor appointment this week and then for the future you will know to give them notice of any impending appointments if they are coming up. Use the calendar app if you have it on your phone to give you a way of reminding you. Don’t be afraid of planning your week as it will make you feel more organized and less stressed. Good luck with your job.
AnonymousNovember 15,2023 at 4:39PM UTC
Find SOMEONE to assist with your son for Monday. That's not the way to start a new job. If you have to physically drive to the daycare before Monday to resolve it, do it!
AnonymousNovember 15,2023 at 9:29PM UTC
I hope your employer embraces you for the full person you are outside of work, including being a mother. I'm glad you have a supportive roommate to help out. Yes, mention the daycare and dr appts and that you need to care for your son and that you are a valuable and dedicated employee too. Being a mom is the toughest job that you don't get paid for.
AnonymousNovember 16,2023 at 2:04AM UTC
Usually when starting a new job, employers understand that you may have already had appointments scheduled. Also, sometimes the first week or so is just new employee information stuff that may not be related to your actual job tasks. Good luck!
AnonymousNovember 16,2023 at 2:23AM UTC
Find someone to care for your son until
this is resolved
John WilliamNovember 24,2025 at 6:00AM UTC
An appointment could give you a chance to organize your time more smoothly, and there is a possibility that santiago colsubsidio may offer support or guidance if you happen to need it during the process, since it can potentially provide useful assistance depending on your situation. Setting an appointment might help you manage your routine more easily and reduce the chances of important tasks becoming overwhelming. There may also be moments when a small amount of planning improves your day in a meaningful way.