Never good enough.

25 Comments

1. Anne KrookMay 21,2024 at 4:29PM UTC

   Very sorry. You can ask your boss what you have to do to become ready for that position, and ask him to support your growth. But the thing you really have to do is get your resume in order, update LinkedIn, and find yourself a new job. When you leave, you can cite no growth path as a reason for leaving. Your boss is going to be very sorry to lsoe your institutional knowledge, trust me

2. AnonymousMay 21,2024 at 6:23PM UTC

   Yes, agree 100%

3. AnonymousMay 21,2024 at 4:57PM UTC

   Ask your manager to complete a GAPS analysis together. That should help you both understand what he is looking for in that role and what you need to get there. It is a simple tool that helps also bridge the communication / expectations gaps along the way. Good luck!

4. AnonymousMay 21,2024 at 5:19PM UTC

   IMO, I don't feel your leader A - being honest about how they feel about your job performance, and B- not investing in learning those specific needs of the other role. BUT BUT what you should be doing, is taking that job description and own your growth. What you don't know, learn, Ask for stretch assignments, Not that I feel he's old fashioned, and he could be, I would say lazy, but you're kinder than me (right now). It's okay to get emotional over something that you wanted, don't discount that. I would also suggest taking your talents elsewhere.

5. AnonymousMay 21,2024 at 5:25PM UTC

   I'm no help, but 'been there done that.' I was at a company for 10 years and during that time two 'promotions' - I hesitate to call them that. I made it clear that was what I was looking for. I finally came to the realization that for whatever reason, I was not going to be promoted and started looking outside the organization. The day after I put my resignation in, my position (and 'individual contributor' position despite all of my responsibilities and whatnot) was posted as a manager role. I was pissed but held my tongue in order to not burn any bridges.

   Now, with that said, I share my story with a word of caution: do not make the same mistake I did. I took first offer that came along. It was a promotion in title and responsibilities but not in compensation. Which I thought I was fine with but I realized within a few months that I made a big mistake in accepting that role and lasted all of a year. I'm in a different organization now and feel better possibility of being promoted...if the company survives.

6. AnonymousMay 21,2024 at 5:28PM UTC

   Unfortunately your boss failed to outline your career path and you didn't push for steps to promotion. So you are both not working in sync for your growth.

   Sometimes it's unclear that your growth must be managed first by you. If you want to move ahead you must insist on milestones or efforts that must be completed or progressed to meet your leader's requirements. Generally this is not as top of mind for most leaders. But it should be at the forefront of each meeting you have with your manager. You must push for clarity and keep written documentation of delivery on their expectations.

   Call a meeting with your manager to get clear on what you don't have that they are looking for. Make it quantifiable and get a time frame so you get be in lockstep.

   You can drive this improvement but if they still insist on having that deep experience already then you may have to opt to leave because you might be correct that there is no immediate growth potential.

7. AnonymousMay 21,2024 at 6:23PM UTC

   Agree 100%

8. P I.May 21,2024 at 6:35PM UTC

   This isn't about you "not being ready". Your glowing reviews (and a raise) are evidence that you're more than ready. Your boss is showing you that he's a selfish, and incapable leader. He's not vested in helping you advance because as long as you continue to do a great job in your current role, you're making him look good. So, i suggest you manage up.

   If you choose to have a follow-up discussion, ask how will he assist you in getting ready for advancement opportunities. Talk about your goals and put together an action plan with measurable outcomes. I hope it turns out well and it's a path you can live with. On the other hand, if all else fails and if the culture is preventing you from thriving, then it's time to look for another opportunity. Being good enough is an inside job. Don't let this so-called boss's opinion throw you off course. You're doing a great job and you know this.

9. AnonymousMay 21,2024 at 6:43PM UTC

   I feel this. So many organizations and bosses have no concept whatsoever of "professional development" and would rather have someone who can slide right into the role and not need training. If you're in a dire situation it makes sense but it sounds like your boss is not a good boss. I am so sorry.

10. AnonymousMay 21,2024 at 6:59PM UTC

    Sounds a little bit like good ol' fashioned (potentially subconscious) sexism to me. Bosses will think that they aren't being sexist if they pay you well or reward good work financially (and in some cases, this means they aren't) while also blocking opportunities for career advancement. They think because they engage in pay equity that they can't be sexist but that's not necessarily true.

11. AnonymousMay 21,2024 at 7:15PM UTC

    That’s the impression I got. When he was explaining all of this to me, it’s like I could tell he was envisioning an older white man, just like himself!

12. AnonymousMay 22,2024 at 12:40PM UTC

    This right here. This is very typical for women. Beibg questioned on their readiness to handle the next level.

13. AnonymousMay 21,2024 at 7:25PM UTC

    It sounds like he probably just wants to get his own handpicked ally in there. For whatever reason, he doesn't see you as that potential ally. Maybe you weren't hired by him and he inherited you from another manager who was fired or quit? I tend to think supervisors create new layers of management and pick and choose who to give those roles to to build up a team of loyal employees.

14. IkyMay 21,2024 at 11:43PM UTC

    I am sorry that you feel discouraged. Have you reviewed the job description for the position your manager is filling? For the purpose of self development, have you asked your manager to explain the gap between your capability and what the higher position requires? The more your manager can share with you the more you can use the data to up your game.

15. AnonymousMay 22,2024 at 1:57AM UTC

    You mention "changing jobs so soon" which makes me think you haven't been at this specific job very long. While it's not unheard of to quickly promote people, it's also not the usual case that someone fairly new to a job (or even just a specific boss) is promoted. They want to see you in action for a while first, and it makes sense from their standpoint that they would hire someone with proven experience rather than someone who has just gotten trained to do the current job. Some companies won't even let someone transfer to another position until they've been at their current role for 6-12 months. Just another possibility to consider.

16. AnonymousMay 22,2024 at 8:58AM UTC

    I understand you definitely feel not valued take it from me life is short please clean up your resume and start looking for a company or career that values you.
    Staying too long is not good for your self esteem and it’s a terrible thing to be invited to th e table and not wanted. Don’t force a company or boss to make room for you. Remember you are great and some other company will welcome your talent.

17. April LineMay 22,2024 at 12:47PM UTC

    This does not make it better, but it sounds like you're great in your current role, if they promote you, they have to hire for that one.

    People who are *good* at lower level positions sometimes get punished by the needs of small companies who would frequently rather maintain someone excellent at a lower level than promote them, because excellent folks are hard to come by. You're trained and doing a great job.

    Also, trust your supervisor if you have no other issues with them, and ask them how to develop the skills you need to be promoted. Sometimes higher level jobs look less hard than they are.

    I had a person on my team once who really wanted to be promoted, but then once she was, she hated the role and stepped back into her previous job. She thought she was ready, I disagreed and knew she'd hate the role, but I also knew she'd work hard and be honest if she hated it, and the stakes were pretty low.

    If your manager is good in every other way, believe the raise and the great reviews and know that your promotion is imminent, just not this time. Trust the process and the leadership.

18. AnonymousMay 22,2024 at 9:37PM UTC

    I am so sorry. I have definitely been here. I, too, always received great annual performance reviews. Was even given "big" high profile assignments. I let them know I was interested in the promotion even getting a professional license that was listed as a requirement. I interviewed multiple times. Ultimately, they promoted another employee who did not have the required professional license. They told me they would be required to get it within the year. That never happened. After that, they hired 3(!) more men for the position and continued to dangle the carrot always telling me I was "so close." I was promised they would "get me there" but was never given any direction or actionable items to meet/address despite requesting them. Even the new employees each pulled me aside and asked how I had not been promoted. They continued to kick the can down the road even when I would ask for a meeting to discuss. During my last hard conversation about this with the Director, he told me they weren't getting any applications for my role and had to hire at the higher salary. Yeah. How insulting is that? We aren't willing to pay you what you're qualified for and we can't hire anyone else at that low salary. I foolishly stayed far too long thinking it was me. If I could just get better...meanwhile taking on more and more work (senior projects). I didn't even realize what this was doing to my self-esteem and confidence. Ultimately, the company had a huge layoff and I was included (of course). Don't hang on in this scenario. It does not pay off.

19. Megan WestrumMay 24,2024 at 12:42AM UTC

    Oh my word!!! I’m so sorry you experienced this! That’s awful.

    It’s a great reminder though that anyone is replaceable at work, but irreplaceable at home.

20. AnonymousMay 26,2024 at 8:26AM UTC

    I am so sorry that you went through all that. It's clear that you saw the situation accurately for what it was, though. Thank you for sharing your experience for the rest of us to learn from.

21. AnonymousMay 23,2024 at 2:14PM UTC

    I would move on. ASAP

22. AnonymousMay 23,2024 at 10:27PM UTC

    Brush up your resume. They are dumb. You are smart and are worth more. Some companies and organizations do not promote, they demote and hire others less experienced. I can't wait to either win the lottery or retire.

23. AnonymousMay 23,2024 at 11:55PM UTC

    You might have a more in depth conversation with him. It makes sense to promote within and back fill the lower positions. Ask him to be very specific on the skills he thinks you need to develop and help you to create a 6 - 12 month plan to get there, while giving you the promotion. If he doesn't agree, apply for the position when it opens anyway. I feel for you as I get the same. Opportunities are rare and I am passed over every time. You might get a little more aggressive. I wish I had.

24. AnonymousMay 24,2024 at 12:07AM UTC

    Unfortunately, I've had to deal with this situation earlier in my career as well. The reason given was that I didn't have an MBA. I was able to apply for graduate school later on but my previous boss of 10 years had a BS so I didnt think it was fair.

25. Megan WestrumMay 24,2024 at 12:39AM UTC

    I am so so sorry. My heart would’ve dropped if I was told the same thing. That devastating especially with how hard you work and the positive feedback you’ve received! Ugh your manager sounds like a jerk and may want to keep you in your current position because you’re “really good at it.”