Another traumatic experience in the corporate world as a person with disabilities.

33 Comments

1. Paulla Fetzek, MSEdJune 6,2024 at 1:18PM UTC

   I am truly sorry you feel this way. However, I confess to feeling similar at my job. Long story short, I've been at my job 21 years and until last year was able to deal with any physical requirements despite issues/injuries I had. This changed when I had a nasty fall early 2023 where I badly fractured my left foot, and severely wrenched my right hip and knee.

   Now I have difficulty walking and am in constant discomfort. My company does have disability access - but only the basics. And I feel like a "has been". As if I've lost any value now that I can't perform physically like I used to.

   Granted, my situation is different in that I was able to deal with the physicality of my job and now I can't. But I agree with you that it feels so defeating to be surrounded by able-bodied people who don't seem to understand. Especially when such a small part of my job relies on the physical part.

   True disability discrimination, as the other responder pointed out, is illegal. Gather all of your backup and reach out to legal council.

2. AnonymousJune 6,2024 at 6:38PM UTC

   Anybody can become disabled at any time, I became disabled early on my career, that is why I know the laws and how to fight it, even-though is exhausted. But it also applies to you even if you worked 21 yrs without limitations. If you are in US, check the EEOC and Job Accommodation Network, to learn very well your rights. You are still valuable and the time where it happened doesn’t make it any less important.

3. AnonymousJune 6,2024 at 1:37PM UTC

   You know... maybe this isn't even about ableism. It could be another common example of incompetent management staff transfering their own responsibilities to someone else's shoulders, which often happens to be people below their hierarchy more interested in delivering a truly good job instead of becoming a boss simp or a poser trying hard to make people think they're smarter than they really are.

   As you're someone who seems to be invested in the technicalities of your work, not wasting your time with social dynamics, internal politics, and all other fakery stuff, they probably are less sensitive to blame you for their own shortcomings, sacrificing your a$$ yo save theirs.

   These people often tend to relate technical objectivity as naivety. They prioritize the corporate social game over everything else, and if you don't know how to play it, scr3w you.

   Unfortunately HR exists to defend them, not you.

   It's a tragedy.

4. AnonymousJune 6,2024 at 6:34PM UTC

   Thanks, I think that too. Today I talked with one of the PMs, because I told him so many times that doing some calcs before having the right information would raise the price of the project. He came back to, ohh they are referring to the time you take working it. I put my foot down and reminded him how many times I said directly this will take some time and we will have to do it again, are you sure? Is not in my pay-grade to check the budget. They could all tell me to stop working, I went to all of them on different times asking for other jobs, but now everybody has amnesia and most of all, they are forgetting that I don’t have the power to decide how much I work a project. The mental gymnastics are too much for me, I’m not about to have a stress induced flare up because of them. If this was of my making, I would own it. I even have written messages where I’m mentioning the budget and another where I’m asking if he would rather wait until I incorporate the final info to avoid extra steps. That is not my job, but I did it, while respecting the boundaries of my position.

5. AnonymousJune 6,2024 at 2:25PM UTC

   I am so sorry this is happening to you. As someone with an invisible chronic illness, your words about limited energy dedicated to work resonated. Even if you do your very best, even if you do play the game, in some environments, you are overlooked or punished. I also understand that - if you are in the USA- you likely need this job for health insurance. So, you may be holding onto a job that doesn't serve you anymore.

   I'd recommend you pull back some energy on dedication. Pivot. Save energy to consider a few things (and decide which you want to put your energy into). 1. Sign the PIP. From what I know, it hurts you less if you do. Recognize that a lot of folks believe that a PIP is the first phase of getting rid of you. You're trying to convince them of something they don't want to see. You don't have to do some tasks, esp. if the work belongs to someone else. You don't have to convince them, or fight them. Just be (and perhaps use generic phrases like - I performed the requisite duties important to my role.) Control your narrative. Reserve your energy. The point of the PIP is for you to improve (in their eyes) or leave. Smile and nod and do what you can to let go of your dedication to them while at the same time doing the important tasks. Fake it if you have to- aka quiet quitting. And, heck if you need more energy to search for a way out rather than play their game, realize that you may be "slipping" in your productivity. They may say things that are hurtful, but you'd be on your way out, so it's something to prepare for. Really, it's reserving your energy to focus on you and your next goal. 2. Prepare a resume and get the heck out of there. 3. Seek advice from an employment lawyer to determine if you have a case. You may. It depends on the state you're in, the circumstance, what can be proven, and if there is a case--do you have time/money to handle the stress of it.

   Your (emotional and physical) feelings are valid. You are working at a place that doesn't care (and they may not see). Shore up your supports (family, friends, neighbors, therapist). Don't tap this company's dry well. Go find a place that's better. Find time to sleep. Best of luck.

6. AnonymousJune 6,2024 at 2:36PM UTC

   Please contact an employment lawyer. 98% will offer a free consultation on whether or not what the employer is doing is illegal. If you have a stellar employee file with solid positive reviews and then suddenly a PIP came up, it is highly suspicious. This happened to me ages ago, but not because I am disabled. It happened due to some office politics after 5 years of raises and great performance reviews. My boss even said she would put me on a PIP but fire me anyway at the end of it so why go through that (yeah, she was bright). I sued and got a settlement. Don't let them push their bullshit on you. Dig deep and take a stand. You got this!

7. AnonymousJune 6,2024 at 6:24PM UTC

   My got has been telling me to check if our manual says that PIPs don’t get raise. I have it on the to do list. Thanks for sharing your experience with me.

8. Eileen MJune 6,2024 at 3:58PM UTC

   Heartfelt hug. I am sorry you're going through this, and that it's tearing down your inner spirit. You are not a reflection of poor behavior, it's evident in your writing -- you know your value, your strengths, your skills.

   I worked in HR for years, my advise if you wish to stay with this employer, is set up a meeting with the HR professional who worked with you on your accommodations or the head of HR. The meeting focus on revisiting what was previously agreed to, to ensure the PIP doesn't intrude on any of the approved accommodations. In my view, this shouldn't be the first time you're hearing that one element needed medical justification. If something was missing or was doing carelessly by them, it shouldn't be raised during a PIP -- that's just disrespectful.

   To everyone else who shared in this thread about their own disability struggles, I am sorry. It's really sad to read when disability is one of the few protected groups that any one can age into. I live in Europe currently, and ADA is completely missing from basic infrastructure. Every time I observe a miss, I send gratitude to ADA because I will eventually need it. I wish everyone shared this perspective -- though if I am wishing for anything, it's that everyone be inclusive and respectful.

9. AnonymousJune 6,2024 at 6:22PM UTC

   I sent them a letter last night, to all the participants and cc the HRs that worked with me since I started in the company. I still trust the company, I think she didn’t communicated with them and these managers are acting independent from the ones that are offering me opportunities. Feels like I’m working for two different companies, I don’t have the mental space for that, nor is my responsibility to have it. I mentioned all of the inconsistencies and the things that were said in the meeting. No matter how much I defended myself in the meeting, was talking in circles. She even said it and she found that I had work my accommodation with the other lady. That was the moment to stop the meeting and say she needed to revise that, but no, she asked me to sign it, knowing was done while missing a lot of information. Plus is ridiculous that they kept saying that if I see the PM budget my effort as less than what should be, I have to raise the alarm, no, budgeting the project is above my pay grade, I don’t have to babysit the PM. Today I took it off because I couldn’t even sleep last night. I’m not about to have an anxiety induced flare-up so then they can be justified to say I’m actually an undue hardship. I think all managers should be required to know the law.

   Thanks for making the difference as an HR.

10. Eileen MJune 7,2024 at 6:27PM UTC

    So glad you listened to your body and took the day off. I'm sorry you're going in circles, stay true to yourself and keep spiraling or circling up. Don't let them take you down a peg.

11. AnonymousJune 7,2024 at 10:38AM UTC

    I admire you it's not easy. It's something not discussed. Being less than perfect or different. Don't compare to others. Keep a list of strengths. Network. There will be things that may be hidden ability. E.g Beethoven.

12. Kirsten DiCarloJune 7,2024 at 1:09PM UTC

    This is depressing and defeatist, and it sucks you are going through it. I would asks to have another meeting with that HR person AND the one who helped set up your accommodations. I'm SO sick of corporate misusing PIPs to chase good employees out. It's been going on too long.

    In the meantime, check out Spoon Theory. As a sufferer of chronic pain, I've found It's an excellent way to explain to people how the world is different for those of us with a chronic illness and pain. Good luck to you!

13. AnonymousJune 7,2024 at 7:34PM UTC

    And then they dare to say a PIP is not a disciplinary action. Like they found a loophole to the law. If the employee manual says that a PIP blocks promotions, transfers, raises, is violating the EEOC law. If the PIP includes “working on improving” one of the aspects of the accommodation, is bypassing the whole process of establishing undo hardship, is illegal!! Sometimes I wonder if the people that do that don’t know the law, or they act clueless to get away with it. I just know is exhausting and distressing.

14. AnonymousJune 7,2024 at 1:20PM UTC

    Update… When I checked my employee handbook, turns out that in my company being on a PIP blocks the employee from transfers. This, apart from being done without due diligence, taking in consideration my position and documentation, it would block my participation in that project win that was announced just a week ago. I feel I was the chosen scapegoat and wasn’t well thought, but I’m not dumb and I’m tired of people trying to take advantage of others in seemingly more vulnerable positions. With my conditions and the rareness of it, is a miracle I’m alive, I finally got my brain tumor removed as part of a research because the type of tumor I had is still understudied. Is a miracle, but is also the work of much research and self advocate, I implement that in everything I do, and this time won’t be the exception. But I’m surely tired of having to fight for everything.

15. AnonymousJune 7,2024 at 6:00PM UTC

    Sorry you had to experience that. This is what I've learned in my 20+ years of experience, always keep something in your back pocket aka a CYA file especially for companies who don't play nice and are known to do employees dirty. You never know when that will come in handy. It's all in how you do it. Working in Corporate is a game of chess. I know of an employee who was going to be put on a PIP out of retailiation. She refused to agree to it and wouldn't sign it. She had something in back pocket. Then it was decided that she only needed a "warning" and that was the end of it. Corporations bully people all the time especially people they consider weak. I know that the back pocket tactic is a ballsy move but know this, if you are being put on a PIP your days are numbered anyway! It's just one step for you to be fired, made redundant or never get any higher up! PIPs are never good and I have never seen anyone be on a PIP and then get promoted to a high-level position. PIP end up terminated eventually. BUT I have seen bad players get caught doing bad things PROMOTED to high level positions! Never even put on a PIP! I always thought to myself, they definitely have something extremely good in that back pocket of theirs!

16. Melanie McLeanJune 11,2024 at 12:07PM UTC

    I understand that. It's so draining constantly fighting an ableist system that expects you to do 400% of a neurotypical/abled/etc. employee with 1% (if you're lucky) of the recognition. Sending hugs and support. <3

17. AnonymousJune 7,2024 at 6:30PM UTC

    I am sorry you're going through this. I just posted my situation and its crazy how similar it is and how corporations plan to check off the boxes, out their interest ahead of others and tear you down. Its hard to accept but you know you are amazing, don't let them dim your light. Someone commented on my post success will be my revenge. So I forward that message to you. Sending you a hug and a glass of your favorite beverage. We all here support you. I do not have a disability but I am often judged by my appearance.

18. AnonymousJune 7,2024 at 7:22PM UTC

    Thanks so much

19. AnonymousJune 7,2024 at 7:27PM UTC

    Yikes, indeed! Is this your personal POV? Have you seen double amputee Olympians compete or severely autistic people create beautiful art and music? I mean, wow.

20. AnonymousJune 7,2024 at 7:29PM UTC

    We are not a waste of space, but I understand what the original comment says. People rarely ask anything they don’t understand to the person with disabilities, the usual tendency is assumptions. Sadly those assumptions rarely lean towards, maybe they need that because of some difficulty, maybe they are actually doing a great job. The assumptions usually go towards the other end, we must be asking for accommodations we don’t need, we must be taking advantage of the system, we don’t bring anything worth of dealing with our unusual circumstances. None of that is true, but that is how ableism works, and is exhausting how much we have to deal with ableism, as if our lives weren’t hard enough already.

21. AnonymousJune 8,2024 at 4:24PM UTC

    Don't be a victim here, stand up for yourself. Lawyer up! Find a good attorney through your local lawyer referral service or contact the DOL or FEHA re the issues with their not honoring what was set in place. Refresh the documentation from your doctors with the company and if need be file a complaint for retaliation with them. Be sure you have your job description with you and all documentation in hand when you do. Good luck.

22. AnonymousJune 8,2024 at 4:59PM UTC

    I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I have a mobility disorder as a result of a workplace accident three years ago, and I work for a small non-profit university where the norm is nearly complete ignorance of the Americans with Disabilities Act and what accommodations are legally required for employees with disabilities.

    I hope you find a solid solution for this predicament.

23. AnonymousJune 8,2024 at 7:13PM UTC

    Seems like the norm is always to stay ignorant and then double down when the disabled person tells them they are violating the law.

24. AnonymousJune 10,2024 at 6:55PM UTC

    I had my service dog accommodation taken away because I complained about the receptionist chasing my dog around trying to pet him. Corporate TOLD me that my dog was a comfort dog and therefore not allowed. I showed them all pertinent medical documentation as well as a letter signed by two doctors saying the dog was necessary. I live in Arizona and work out of the Phoenix office. Corporate is in Boston, MA and had never met me or my service dog. I found it very difficult to cope without his help and was written up for isolating myself at my desk after a co-worker complained. They also completely ignored me and froze me out while our boss was out of the office, hence the isolating behavior on my part. Once COVID hit I got to work from home because I live with my elderly mother. It was decided that it would be a permanent set up as a way to solve the "service dog problem".

25. AnonymousJune 11,2024 at 2:16PM UTC

    That is pretty crappy on the part of the receptionist and your company's response. Who doesn't understand boundaries with service dogs?

26. AnonymousJune 15,2024 at 3:50PM UTC

    I’m happy you ended getting a better solution. I’m always amazed by the excuses these people write to get away with it. If it was a comfort animal and your company has a no pets policy, they know very well they would have never allow it. They knew harassing your dog was harassment towards you and illegal, so better to play dumb. In one of my experiences, our office director tried to make me fail changing my work to another speciality and without training. When I complained he bluntly denied knowing what my speciality was and that I had done that type of work in the office. Then they let me go for not knowing how to do my work, I had been 5 years there and we all know a company doesn’t spend 5 years paying an employee that doesn’t know how to do the main tasks for their position. They think going around the actual illegal reason makes them look clever. EEOC gave me the right to sue in that case, they just have to be grateful I didn’t do it, but was other circumstances that were at play there, not because they succeeded faking their reasons. I just know, that if they had real performance complaint, they would point that out, when they have to go around writing a fictional story, means you are a great employee and they can’t come up with legit complaints against you. That just talks about the kind of people they are.

27. AnonymousJune 11,2024 at 7:28PM UTC

    I'm sorry you're experiencing this. It sounds like you're getting the brunt of their lack of understanding (compassion, the law, each other, etc.). And it can be exhausting to educate them or stand up for yourself or defend an already-approved accommodation, etc. Conserve your energy and do what you feel is best to communicate your needs. You'll learn if it's best to stay (and fight or just do what you need) or leave. Seek legal advice and determine if you have a case and if you want to go through with it. Best of luck. I hope this fuels your energies into building a life for yourself with support (and leaving places and people who don't). Fight if you can/want, but find a way to float. We can all thrive in the right community.

28. AnonymousJune 12,2024 at 1:41PM UTC

    I’m so sorry to hear that you’re dealing with such nonsense. I am an able bodied person and trying to get a position on the DEI team at my company to advocate for people with disabilities. There is so much time and energy invested for other minorities and underrepresented communities, but people with disabilities and invisible illnesses are consistently overlooked. It’s a travesty and needs to change!

29. AnonymousJune 15,2024 at 3:33PM UTC

    From the bottom of my heart, Thank You. Specially as an abled-body person, having enough empathy to understand the struggles. To see invisible disabilities as the same type of barrier than visible and not follow the human nature to judge what you see, you are a treasure for society. I cannot talk for other people, just my experience, but I belong to a few minorities. I’m a woman of color, have an accent because English is not my first language and I’m in a male dominated profession. I would never say those other categories don’t affect, but the one that has been a problem over and over, the one that has caused trauma and even affected my health even more, was being disabled. Needing accommodations, people see that like is a privilege. Even with the accommodations I basically just have to go to sleep after work, my house is often a mess because I lack energy, I don’t go out and barely have a social life. So is not that they are giving me an advantage, the accommodations barely help me to cope with all I have in life, allow me to work and provide for myself, those are very basic needs. People can’t even imagine that. Usually when people don’t have the answers, they guess and usually that assumption leans towards negative. For example a person arrived late and has an accommodation, but looks well and enters in the office smiling and saying hi to everybody. They assume that person must be faking, they don’t look in pain, they are probably just lazy and irresponsible, so they need more pressure, that will motivate them. If that person is me, I probably already had 3 tachycardia events and one bradicardia event that sent me back to bed while I was just trying to leave the house. Gave me a migraine so I had to take medication and wait for it to work. Then left my brain lacking oxygen, so I had to go back to the house 5 time because I kept forgetting stuff. Also that nerve pain that I’ve had for 3 years feels too strong today. That is never the assumption, because we look ok. We learn to mask because if we tell people every pain we feel, we wouldn’t even have friends or talk about anything else. We all hear since childhood to not judge by appearances, but just a few practice that. Is really impressive to me that is your desire and I know you will make so many lives better. I’m proud of you and happy for whoever gets to work with you.

30. VickiJune 13,2024 at 12:25PM UTC

    Get an employment lawyer immediately

31. AnonymousJune 13,2024 at 8:23PM UTC

    I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. It is defeating. For the past 3 months I've been on a PIP. It's a a punch in the gut. I've been told to prepare for the worse. Please know you have worth! This culture of PIPs, exclusion, and not valuing skills needs to stop. DEI departments are good, but the culture needs to catch up and management needs to be responsible for what they do and don't do for people they supervise. Hang in there. Hope the best for you.

32. AnonymousJune 15,2024 at 3:13PM UTC

    I’m not accepting it, I’m contending it because is illegal, unsupported and unattainable requirements. Depending on the response, I will start planning my next steps. I had never receive a PIP, but had been in a similar situation before when a complain unleashed a long time of retaliation. That was traumatic, during those months the brain tumor I had almost duplicated size and left me basically not functional. After that I had to stay unemployed, getting brain surgery and facing multiple needs. I’m not going back there, I’m not exposing my peace and my health. I’m waiting for response to my communications, depending how I see the response, I plan for my future. If the goals in your PIP are not realistic, I suggest you do the same. I never had this PIP thing before, but now reading about it, seems like is a common practice to make them with generalized assumptions, unsupported and without offering real improvements. That is setting for failure, a boss that really sees a performance problem wants you to improve, would set measurable goals and a reasonable time to revise it. Thinking that a human will improve while being hyperaware, fearing for their livelihood and affecting their neurological system and mental health, is delusional. Nobody will give us our lives or health back.

33. AnonymousAugust 11,2024 at 2:35PM UTC

    Because of your disability, I think you have to focus on what you need to do with what you have. You have to understand that most people without disabilities do not understand you. Strength the skills that you have and do not think about your weaknesses. Never give up.

    good luck