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I have been interviewing for a job and it's taken a few months to get from applying to final round.

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Anonymous

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I have been interviewing for a job and it's taken a few months to get from applying to final round. The last week I was told I'd get a call and they kept putting it off, so I took this to mean that they'd offered it to someone else and were waiting for acceptance. When the call came that I was the second choice, I was a little disappointed, but understood. An hour later, I got a call back that the first person had rejected the job.

Should I move forward with accepting a job knowing that I'm not the supervisor's first choice? Should I be concerned that they told me I wasn't being chosen before solidifying an offer with the first candidate?

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  1. Anonymous

    I suggest moving forward with the job. Not sure if you were the supervisors first choice or the the bank of people also in the interview process impacted the ranking. The company I work for recently went through the hiring process. We went with the second choice (our first choice decided on another company) for our group's most recent hire. So far it seems to be working out.

  2. Amy

    This is why I would get an answer from the first choice before contacting the second choice. You can always ask why the first candidate declined the offer. Otherwise it is not a red flag.

  3. Anonymous

    I agree- I'm concerned that the employer didn't do that and what it says about that supervisor.

  4. Anonymous

    I wouldn't worry about being the second choice. The interview process is just that, a process to identify the best possible candidates. Once you're in, there's no comparison. Bring your best to the table and show them they were lucky they got you. Good luck!!

  5. Anonymous

    Nope. This is Business. If you don't accept the offer then they will move to their 3rd choice.

    None of this matters. This is life. You make the most of your opportunities. You do what's right for you.

    You have no idea what the first person turned down the offer.

  6. Sabrina Cortes

    It's ok that you weren't their first choice, that's part of the process. BUT you want to show them that you are the best choice!

    Sending you warm thoughts and positive vibes!

  7. Anonymous

    We hired our third choice a few years ago and she turned out to be a fabulous fit after she settled in. The issues that left her as third instead of first or second were legit, but she grew past them eventually. That said, we recently had three finalists for a different position. First two were so great we got authorization to offer positions to both of them. First choice accepted, second choice declined. We didn't extend an offer to the third finalist. We opened a new search instead. Second choice still means they liked you well enough to hire you/work with you. If they weren't thrilled with your candidacy, they wouldn't offer you a position at all.

  8. Anonymous

    When I’m hiring a position and need to go to a second choice I don’t tell them they were not the first choice. Maybe that’s wrong but I don’t want anyone to feel like I’m just settling for them. I would not extend on offer at all if I didn’t truly want to hire them and maybe it wouldn’t hurt and once the first person declines, there is a new first choice. The exception would be a situation where I hired a person and within a month they didn’t work out and had to be dismissed. I was so thankful the runner up accepted and is working out wonderfully.

  9. Crystal Howell

    If it's your dream job, you can get in. Show them you should have been their first choice, silently. They don't need to know. The first choice might have had skillset they needed, and saw yours can be improved. If the salary is right, just show them !!! Good Luck

  10. Anonymous

    Definitely negotiate terms and accept the job if the terms are to your liking. (If you are concerned about the supervisor, ask for a call or meeting with them before deciding whether to go forward with the negotiations.)

    It was clumsy of the company to tell you that you were no longer in the running before sealing the deal with the other candidate, but I don’t feel that it is damning.

  11. Susan Kuhn

    Well said, and your grace and handling their clumsiness will speak volumes about your people skills.

  12. Anonymous

    Sounds like they jumped the gun and maybe do not have the smoothest HR group. But they are human. First choice or not, if you want the job take it. You know that you will perform!! Make them realize the first choice rejecting the job was a blessing in disguise!

  13. Lisa Williams

    This happened to me many years ago. I let go of my pride and accepted a lesser position, understanding I didn't have as much experience as the first choice. I was OK with that, because I knew I could prove myself once in the door. Fast forward, a week into the job, I was promoted and ended up practice manager for the next 10 years. Sometimes, it's a good gamble.

  14. Elise Pilkington

    If there were multiple rounds there were probably several decision-makers, or at least several people with input. Chances are you were someone's first choice. If you want the job, take it! It's too bad they were so clumsy with their comments to you but it's not that big a deal to not be the "first choice" -- as a (retired) manager I can tell you that the selection process is not some kind of scientific formula that always allows you to predict who will be the best employee. The best choice is the person who wants the job and applies themself to learning it.

    BTW, this happened to me too. I was thrilled to be selected for the job and applied myself diligently. Years later I realized that I'd been the "compromise" candidate between the two decision-makers. No big deal, I still did an outstanding job, was successful and was promoted further. Go for it!

  15. Anonymous

    Not everyone has good graces or the best communication skills. Who cares?! You still made it past hundreds of other candidates! Does the job and the salary work for you? Do you like the team and the company?

    This happened to me! They told me as well that I was the second choice. While I will always question why they felt the need to tell me that, I took the job, and was quite successful there until a headhunter called me for what turned out to be my dream job a few years later. It was definitely worth it!

  16. Yetunde Abass- Olisa

    Take the offer and demonstrate best-practices service.

  17. Emily Griggs

    I was the hiring manager in a similar situation last year. I ended up with my 2nd choice candidate and she 1) turned out to be a rock star and 2) she was BARELY second choice - my first choice had industry experience, she did not and they were so closely tied. I’ve since left that organization but heard she’s still crushing it a few weeks ago. If you want the job, take the job!

  18. GirlBossanova934974

    If you are really set on this outfit AND have done your due diligence, go ahead and take it. BUT there are already red flags showing up on the screen. It took these folks months to make a decision. Not good. And the first person who got the job offer decided to go elsewhere... Wonder why? Buyer beware here.

  19. Anonymous

    Not being 'first choice' does not necessarily mean they thought you were not a good fit for the job or that they didn't like you. The other candidate may have had something just a little different, maybe an extra skill or a little more time in the field. Or it could be as simple as it was an internal person that they felt they had to offer it to first.

    I think the fact that they were as honest as they were about 'choices' shows a good level of communication within the company, a big assumption perhaps, but I would view it as a sign of respect.

  20. Susan Kuhn

    You're the only one who can truly answer that question. But the person who did not accept the job will quickly be forgotten. If you are interested in the job and the people, let them know with great enthusiasm that you're delighted it came around to you. Play out all the relevant facts in your mind, ask any final questions, and, if you take it, take it prepared to do your best.

  21. Margaux K

    The recruiter and HR in your situation should have communicated better but this happens a lot these days. It doesn’t necessarily means that the people that you will be working with have problems. Maybe ask if you can meet with the direct manager again for 30 minutes to ask questions.

  22. Lauren

    What do you feel you want to do? Talk through it with yourself. You know what’s best for you.

  23. Anonymous

    If you want the job, take it. As a hiring manager I’ve had first and second choice candidates that are both outstanding and it is really challenging to choose who to offer to first. Second choice can still mean the hiring manager thinks you are an excellent candidate and will be thrilled if you accept.

  24. Paulla Fetzek, MSEd

    When I was interviewing for my current job, I was told at the end of the interview that there were 2 candidates being considered.

    After another phone interview, I was given the job. And learned at the same time that not everyone was happy with that decision. On the other hand, not everyone was happy with the other candidate either.

    I accepted the job and 19 years later, I'm still here. All 3 of the people who didn't favor me - are gone.

    The point of this is - you don't know why you were the "second choice". It could be for some preconceived notion the interviewers had! Don't deny yourself what could be a fantastic opportunity. Show them why you're the star they should've chosen to begin with.

  25. Jessica Large

    They should never have told you that you were second choice. They also should have put the offer out before the rejections. That's a lessons learned for them. If you really want the job, I'd take it.

  26. Anonymous

    The first candidate to is not proof that he/she would’ve been outstanding. You were just second in line and may be better than the first choice.

    On the other hand a company should never revert back to unsuccessful candidates without the offer being accepted. So that’s a fault on their part.

    Take the job if you like it, and prove them why ultimately it’s meant for you. Good luck

  27. Maggie Stone

    What a frustrating and upsetting situation. No one wants to be someone’s second or third choice. But it sounds like they have a really clunky management or HR team, which is definitely something to be aware of if you take the job. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take the job if you want it; that is, unless, there are other red/yellow flags. Take a moment to make a pros and cons list or check in with yourself. If you didn’t know you were the second choice, would you want the job?

  28. Rynn Strange

    The interview process for the position i'm in now began in September of last year, and I January I was extended an offer. During that almost five month period, the President, with whom I was interviewing, changed his mind about the position to here I would be working dircetly with him as an assistant. After I came on board, the HR person left (which I originally interviewed for) and I started assuming HR responsibilities. Now, I'm doing a bit of double duty with both positions, and it was worth th wait. Great company and good pay for the area. If you like this company, don't let the idea of second choice sting you - you've got this!

  29. Christi Lopez

    So when I used to work for a local school district, I was on the hiring team for a position in our office. We went through interviews. There was an external candidate that I absolutely loved and strongly argued for. Unfortunately, HR overruled and made us offer it to the internal candidate who was in danger of being laid off. I was not at all happy.

    But after a week of deliberation, the internal candidate found a different position that she preferred. We offered it to the external candidate and they turned out to be just as fantastic as I knew they would.

    The point is, you don't know all the details. If you are excited about the position, and felt good about the people you interviewed with, and still want the job, take it.

  30. Anonymous

    But I don’t think the original poster feels good about these people. They have been less than professional and tardy and all of their communications. I can’t imagine ever calling someone and saying oh hey we went to offer you the job you were the second choice but the first choice turned it down…That is the least professional comment I would ever expect from someone in human resources.

  31. Christi Miller

    I was the second choice for my current role. The first choice backed out at the last minute. I went forward with the role and I'm so glad I did. They soon got over the whole second choice thing and so did I. I'm sure there are a lot of people who were the second or third choice and never knew. I say go for it if you like the company and the work.

  32. Anonymous

    There’s a lot of nuance here that none of us can understand fully but you do.
    If you are getting a bad vibe about this company and how they’ve treated you through the process, then walk away from their offer. I have come to the age in life in which I know that symptoms and signals often identify the character or person I am working with. And to put this more simply, it’s just plain rude to not communicate with you in a timely and professional way…They have done neither of these things. I think I already know your gut feeling and I would follow it I would tell them to take their job and give it to somebody else

  33. Ayian

    I think it was just lapse on their part and an assumption made that it would be accepted by default, so I wouldn't worry about it at this point. If you continue see this is a behavior routinely after you hypothetically join, it's a red flag. For now, I'd put that aside.

    So what that you're not the supervisor's first choice? If that person had never applied, they would never have known that you weren't the most perfect for the position. Additionally, 1 in 4 to 5 people leave a role in the first 120 days. Second choice doesn't mean you aren't liked, qualified, or well suited to the role. Furthermore, an interview only gives a brief snapshot for both of you. They may find after you join the team that they like you more than they thought, even more than the first choice candidate.

  34. Anonymous

    It can be a little disappointing, yes, but you also don't know their reasoning. You guys could of been exactly the same candidate and they were splitting hairs trying to decide who would be the better fit.

    The person who rejected the job could have 5 more years experience because they are 5 years older something you also have zero control over.

    If you truly want the job and think it will be a good fit then take the job. They may have just told you you were the second choice because it was there reasoning for taking so long to get back with you.

  35. Karen Sciotto Stewart

    I was the 1st one offered the position, however, I was told that the only reason was due to my knowledge of a program that were going implement. It is now 30 years later and I have been in charge of the Dept for 20 years. Go in and show them that you are more than capable. Things happen for a reason and this job was meant to be yours.

  36. Crystal Derstine

    Consider how many other people applied for that position, how many people interviewed, and you made the top 2. That's a silver medal. They then found out the person who got first was disqualified bumping you from silver to gold. I'd take the job. Second doesn't mean bad.

  37. Ashli J

    I understand that feeling. The current job I am in now I was “second” choice. I like you was offended but then there was specific reasons and honestly I know in the end I was the best choice overall. The first choice was chosen for a different reason that didn’t pertain to the job or even being the best candidate. Don’t beat yourself up about being second. If it’s something you want go for it!

  38. Tami Cain

    Definitely not! I have often been torn between two candidates and had as much confidence in the second choice as I did the first. I would fully support the candidate that chose us!

  39. Nick Kossovan

    Yes, HUGE RED FLAG speaking to you (to inform you that you came in 2nd and therefore weren't selected) before the 1st choice candidate accepted the job.

    (The right way would have been to speak to the 1st choice candidate first. If they rejected the job offer then the employer simply moves on to you, without telling you that you were the 2nd choice.)

    The question now is how badly do you want this job and to work for this employer?

    Personally, I'd walk away and tell them (and their boss, or someone in the leadership team)—in no uncertain terms—why I'm walking away. If more candidates walked away from RED FLAGS, and told employers why they're walking away, maybe employers will start treating job candidates with more respect.

  40. Valentina Huang, MBA, SHRM-CP

    If the job is appealing to you, then go for it! Second choice doesn't have to be a negative thing. I see it as transparency the they communicated this to you. Now, could they have used better word choice - YES. The positive note here is that you were offered a position - YAY! Question is, do you want the job???

  41. Jason Lee

    Why does this matter that you were the second choice candidate (assuming the role checks all the boxes) ?

    It is an employment selection, not partner selection. This sounds more about the author's ego than career strategy.

  42. JYJ

    A few months to get through interviews? That's a bit much. That coupled with actually telling a candidate that their first choice declined demonstrates a lapse in good judgment. However, if you really want to work for them, go for it.

  43. Teresa Pearson

    This is interesting! Second choice does not necessarily mean that you were not an exceptional candidate. Your skills and personality stood out. What is absolutely unprofessional is that the HR people waited a long time to get back to you and then after the long wait, they decided to tell you that you were the second choice and then to add more insult, the first candidate decided not to take the position, do you want it? My hope is that the people that you interviewed with are more professional and a good fit with your skills that you will bring to the company and the position. If you are willing to take that risk then go for it. I would hope that in your interviewing process that you asked what happened with the person in the position previously and you received an answer that would help you decide if you should move forward.

  44. Anonymous

    My thoughts exactly.. lack of professionalism all over the place sends me a red flag

  45. Doris Appelbaum

    I would hope that in your interviewing process that you asked what happened with the person in the position previously and you received an answer that would help you decide if you should move forward.

  46. Arlene Frances Gottardo (Bryak)

    CONGRATULATIONS! And if you want the job, just TAKE IT!

  47. Yana Myaskovskaya

    I've been on the other side of the hiring table many times, and it's important to know that if a company is extending an offer to you, they likely had a tough time deciding between you and the top candidate and they believe you are capable of performing in the role – otherwise, you wouldn't be receiving an offer.

    As difficult as this is to not take personally, it's not about their personal feelings regarding your personality/abilities, but about your fit at their company, in this position.

    I recently interviewed for a role with a great startup with an incredibly intense interview process (10 interviews, including a 1.5-hour presentation, over the course of a week). They were obviously deeply invested in me as a candidate and wanted to find a strong fit for what was an executive leadership role.

    At the eleventh hour, a candidate applied with10+ years of industry-specific experience and the CEO was transparent with me that this candidate was a better fit for that reason. She was sincere and apologetic about the "frustrating" situation, and I completely understand her perspective.

    While I had other offers on the table, this company was my first choice at the time, and I would have accepted their offer if the first candidate backed out because they were transparent and empathetic.

    If the company has blundered the interview process across the board, I would be more wary of their internal processes and the role in general. If you're comfortable doing so, you can ask for a 30-minute follow-up with the supervisor to ensure you fully understand the role and expectations and ask whether there are any skillsets or professional development you can undertake in preparation for the role.

  48. Anonymous

    Do you verify that you were the first choice before accepting every job you've had in the past? If not then you should take this job.

  49. BeaBoss645203

    If you really want this job, then by all means take it !! It doesn't matter if you were not the 1st choice ., although I have never heard of a company telling someone this.

  50. Audrey Kirsch

    A few months can be a long time to get through the interview process. The 1st choice may have gotten another job or changed their mind about wanting the job in the first place. My team just lost a good candidate because the process took too long and she had time to re-evaluate what she was looking for. If you hung in there this long and still feel the job will be a good one, take it. Show them you should have been the 1st choice all along.

  51. Anonymous

    From a hiring manager's perspective, it could have been a very hard decision.
    Sometimes the top two candidates are both amazing but only one offer can be made. Often the person that was "2nd" place was really one of two "1st" place candidates and we would be extremely happy to hire either person.

    The company probably shouldn't have said that you were their 2nd choice, but on the other hand, they are being transparent.

    If you want the role, it will help you progress your career, like the company, and connected with the team during your interview process take the role.

  52. Anonymous

    My concern is that they are poorly run- who calls and says you’re second choice? And before the 1st choice accepts!

  53. Anonymous

    Exactly, that's my concern too.

  54. Anonymous

    In my experience they often send the people who weren’t chosen letters before their first choice accepts. So that’s not unusual. The fact they told you that you were second choice means they like you. To accept or not is your choice, but I wouldn’t get hung up on whether you were first choice or not. They want you now, and that’s what matters. Do you want the job?

  55. Lesa Goodman

    On the one hand...yes, it's business. 'Nuff said, right?

    No, that's not right. There is, and really needs to be, "the other hand"...

    "It's just business" needs to change, because it is personal. With how the world, and the workplace have changed over the past few years Business needs to step up and pay more attention to their "peopling" processes...hiring, training and retaining their people.

    [TBH, I was about to go into full rant mode...highlighting my observations (based on participation) of more than 40 years of job hunting, getting hired, getting trained (or not in too many instances!), and in how I was treated as an employee in a multitude of different industries, companies, and organizations. Then I realized, my first 2 paragraphs said what I needed to say...so, 'nuff said! I'm stepping off my soapbox now.]

  56. Anonymous

    This isnt a beauty pagent, this is a job. If you want the job take it. Don't let ego be the reason why you don't. So what if you were second choice. Maybe that person interviewed better than you did. Maybe that person had more experience than you. Or maybe that person was better connected with the person on the inside. Unless you have several offers lined up at your finger tips that you can say, no, no and no to, realize when employers make a decision, it is never personal. So take it or leave it.

  57. Doris Appelbaum

    Yes!!

  58. Anonymous

    I was the second choice for a job. The first choice quit after 2 wks. I was offered the job and told that she was the first choice only because she had a little more experience. I accepted the job, loved it, and ended up retiring from it 35 years later. Don't get hung up on what number choice you were. If you want the job take it.

  59. Kathryn

    If you want the job take it. This is not about 1st and 2nd place. This is your shot take it

  60. Liz Milne

    It's more likely the other candidate had a slight edge on you, but were honest about chasing another job themselves, which came through. So they wanted you to know that they hadn't forgotten you, and that if the 'best' candidate was no longer available, the position would be yours. If you want the job, take it, don't fret about the hiring process.

  61. Anonymous

    I was recently told I was

    #2 also! So frustrating! I would want to know exactly why I was #2 and then decide if it’s the right place for you based on that feedback. I was told I was “overqualified” which meant I may not be able to work with a leader who may have felt intimidated by my experience. In my case, I may have dodged a bullet.

  62. Anonymous

    Hope you do accept the job and that it’s all you'd wished for. I was 2nd choice at a job over 30 years ago now, and I not only gained much experience, moved through my career onto better jobs and increased salary, but I gained several long term friends. It’s the best decision I ever made!

  63. Anonymous

    2nd choice doesn’t have to be negative especially if employers are getting lots of applicants (some get thousands).

    *A take away is many times employers aren’t making good decisions with their first picks if they are unable to tell if the person is really into the position.

  64. Eloisa Jacinto

    Hey there. If you really like the job and you see a future in the company, being 2nd or even 3rd choice doesn’t matter. Just make sure that being second choice doesn’t mean being shortchanged of what you are worth. Good luck!

  65. Lorraine

    It's okay that you were not their first choice. The fact that they called you immediately is that they wanted you next. And that's okay. That other candidate may have had more of an inside track, such as they were referred by someone. But whatever their reason, take that offer as a win. It's success. I once had to tell a candidate that they didn't get the job, and the next day the team changed their mind, and decided they wanted him to come on board. Sure it was awkward for me to make the call, but he was excited that he got the offer and we laugh about it now. :-) We are all human.

  66. Anonymous

    Early in my career, I was in a similar position. They offered the job to another candidate but after a few weeks, it didn't work out. I was a freelancer at the company and wanted a career at that company. When I heard the position was open again, I convinced the manager to give me another shot and I was offered the job. I could have brushed it off as I wasn't her first choice but that job commenced a career trajectory in that field.

    If you want the job and they've offered it to you, go with your gut. It's your opportunity if you want it. It's more important if you're their final selection and furthermore if you want the job. Good luck and either way, congratulations!

  67. Melissa Verdoni

    i was already called to say,,, it was VERY close. they are hard choices to make

  68. U lay gyi tint

    Oh, no, you would not refuse this job, but you need to be careful while you reach the work environment. I think you may have lacked some skills or experience or attitudes which are compatible with the job.

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