Job Seeker Burnout: The Struggle is Real

Job Seeker Burnout: The Struggle is Real

Last week I reached my breaking point. But now, I feel great!

After a month-long round of multiple interviews with a single company, I finally withdrew from the process last week when I was asked to schedule a debrief a few days after my fourth interview. At the time, I couldn't understand why I was being asked to schedule this conversation. Then I used it to my advantage and jotted down some notes so that I could truly and authentically share with them how I felt about the long and drawn out process, from my experience.

Here are those notes:

Did you go through the same process when you were hired?

I wouldn't go through this process with you, or any employer, again.

My ideal process is 2 interviews maximum to be completed within 2 weeks when not hiring for an Executive role, which I'm not applying for.

I met with 6 people total over the course of 4 interviews and had to maintain high levels of energy every single time and retell the same stories over again with the same enthusiasm. It was exhausting.

I was encouraged to look up each of these people I interviewed with, but it was clear only one of them had looked at my details before meeting with me, and she was critical of what suggestions I shared with other job seekers.

There was not a specific job description or role intended for me so it was impossible to prepare for these interviews without knowing what skills I needed to focus on for a specific role.

I felt exploited because I'm unemployed and employers are taking advantage of that as I'm not bringing in income right now and my schedule is wide open and I'm not being persuaded away from another job or employer.

There was zero interest on their part and therefore, I'm uninterested as well.

Why women love us:

  • Daily articles on career topics
  • Jobs at companies dedicated to hiring more women
  • Advice and support from an authentic community
  • Events that help you level up in your career
  • Free membership, always

Share your insight

Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.

42 Comments

Join the conversation
  1. Crystal Miller-O'Brien

    Good for you! I can't imagine how you could have enjoyed such an indecisive and immature and unsympathetic workplace. Thank the Universe that you were able to see how this organization was toxic and so much so that not ONE person had the courage to make this misuse of time and resources stop before you were ever involved. Their loss for sure!!!

    Best of luck in your search. May this experience forever influence you to be a great professional.

  2. Lorna Rose, J.D., M.S.

    I'm behind you 100%. I am wondering if you could explain more about the fact that "there was not a specific job description or role intended" for you... how did you find yourself in a position of interviewing even once, let alone 4 times, for what sounds like a non-existent job/position?

  3. Maria Healey

    A recruiter reached out to me via LinkedIn. We set up a Discovery Call in which she described to me a position that sounded like it had Project Management responsibilities I would love to take on. I then interviewed with two members of the Marketing & Communications team and was considered for a position as a writer, which I was not as excited about because I enjoy the teamwork that PM brings along with it. I then interviewed with an Executive and made it clear Data Analytics was not my strong suit but was then given a new job description in a Marketing role that was very data-driven and I wasn't going to be a good fit for that either. Overall, I didn't feel heard. I think their intentions were good to begin with, but it just got really unorganized and I felt like just another candidate the entire time, rather than feeling like they really wanted me to join the team.

  4. Lorna Rose, J.D., M.S.

    Yikes, that is so disrespectful to you as a professional. It sounds like they tasked their recruiting to find someone who was willing to do whatever was thrown at them.

  5. Anonymous

    Was this a healthcare software program company?

  6. Maria Healey

    I've been respectful of the company's details as I want to believe they had the best intentions in the beginning, but I wanted to share my feedback with them from a job seeker's perspective in hopes that it will make their process better for future candidates. I've chosen to share my story publicly because it's shocking to me just how many other people have gone through such a similar experience. Things need to change.

  7. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition Specialist

    Good for you for learning you can say no!

  8. Amy

    Good for you for making that decision! I don’t think interviewers realize how much mental/emotional energy interviews require, especially in a virtual environment. Best of luck to you in finding a new role!

  9. Anonymous

    The last job I interviewed for included three interview days and the last interview round took three hours. I met with a TON of people via zoom. The whole process was very drawn out and it was just for a low-level coordinator position. Then they ghosted me. I was in the final round and they never even reached out to say they chose someone else. I tried following up with them and never got a reply.

  10. Anonymous

    A 3-hour meeting?! Ugh. I don’t even like those for a job I have.

  11. Anonymous

    4 interviews is a lot. I had one formal interview plus two additional discussions with HR, and the option to have a follow up with my direct supervisor. I spoke with a total of 5 people. But it was clear that these people had looked at my resume, understood the value I could bring, and allowed ample time for discussion and my questions for them.

    I’m curious at to how you connected with this company if there was no specific job opening. Perhaps this is not their usual process, and they were trying to find a good fit for you? Regardless it sounds unfair. Burning out candidates before you even give them a job is not a good way to instill interest in people.

  12. Maria Healey

    I do think it started out with the best intentions from the Talent Acquisition leader who reached out to me via LinkedIn. However, it proved itself to not be the right place for me once I got into the interview process and I kept giving them the benefit of the doubt. I was criticized for sharing certain tips with other job seekers and when I shared that Data Analytics was not my strong suit, I was then scheduled to interview with a team that relied heavily on that skillset that I didn't possess... Unfortunately, I wasn't being heard.

  13. Anonymous

    I interviewed with 4 people, completed 3.5 hours of assessments and met with the assessment company. Overall it was about 10.5 hours of my time - fair enough. I was told they wanted to make a decision within 2-3 weeks. After the last interview they went silent, I sent a follow up email and was told that the role was important and the "right fit" was super important and that they thought it would take more time.

    UGH - I assume that there wasn't a good match - so why not tell me instead of some BS answer?

    It is very demotivating out there, keep your chin up!

  14. Anonymous

    I’m guessing you were in the running but weren’t the top candidate. I’m betting they offered to someone else but were keeping you as the backup in case the first choice said no.

  15. Anonymous

    I recently found out that they did make an offer to another candidate, that candidate turned them down. It was not meant to be my next role.

  16. Priyanka Pakki

    I hear you and can completely relate to this.. When I look back, I am still not sure why I tried too hard trying to explain why I am the right person to do their job to different interviewers at the same company. It was mentally exhausting, emotionally draining and just knew it was not worth it.

  17. Anonymous

    Happened to me recently as well. Also asked for a "presentation" for two of the 3 positions. The positions were for executive leadership, but it became apparent that all the companies were really just on a fishing expedition. They already had someone in mind and were going through the "3 candidates" for interview guidelines someone made up and everyone follows. I withdrew from one (who eventually promoted the deputy director as expected), didn't get hired for one who at least informed me of the fact (they didn't hire anyone as, again, they had long term staff and didn't need an executive director anyway) and was ghosted by the third. I really want to start charging money for the interview process. Organizations like this have no understanding as to how much time an effort it takes to be the candidate in these processes. Then they complain when people stop applying that no one wants to work or they couldn't find a qualified candidate.

  18. Maria Healey

    Absolutely! What might be seen as just another one hour meeting for the hiring manager conducting the interview, actually takes quite a bit of time and energy on our part as the person under scrutiny vying for the position.

  19. Lorna Rose, J.D., M.S.

    I'd wager that these organizations are completely aware of the investment that candidates have to make in their convoluted hiring processes. They simply don't care or even see it as a necessary hazing process ("if they want it bad enough, they'll deal")

  20. Anonymous

    The burnout is real. I get winded down just after speaking to recruiters. I’m mostly applying for small to mid sized corporate jobs with a clear set of subject expertise. But I’ve seen this behavior of drawing out interview process in small nonprofit organizations. 4-5rounds screen to hiring and it made no sense to me. They are trying to build internal consensus at the expense of candidates mental health. In those cases I felt bad for the candidates for not catching the red flags and run the other directions.

  21. Anonymous

    Can you imagine the culture they must have if a hire takes that much scrutiny?

  22. Lynda Booth

    This is true of interviews today. The candidate experience is long. The unfortunate part is that the companies do not provide constructive feedback if you are not selected. For the time the candidate gives to the interview, it should be a courtesy that they at least provide the candidate 5 minutes of feedback. Candidates are getting burnt out if they go through the lengthy interview process a couple of times with the same result of rejection without feedback.

  23. Josie

    I agree that there could be a feedback process. Unfortunately, I am on the other end of the loop where frustrated job seekers tell me they are 'perfect for the job' and want to know why they weren't selected. I work for a large corp and we received 6k applicants for one program. It's just not possible in those volumes to provide that kind of feedback. I wish we could - it would make my job a whole lot easier.

  24. Tiana Mumford

    I’m so sorry and it’s so unfortunate! I thought the company I worked for had a ridiculous interview process. Yet the companies are still complaining about shortages and accusing people to “ not want to work” that is not the case for everyone . Companies need to do better good job on tour responses hopefully they would take heed. Here is the conclusion they ultimately miss out on a great candidate!

  25. Anonymous

    I read this post and some of the comments earlier today, and the thoughts have been marinating. I work in HR, though not directly in recruiting, and I don't pretend to have any answers or solutions. If only I did, I would sell them and make enough money to retire. Anyway ...

    Here are suggestions for recruiters and hiring managers:

    If you feel the candidate can do the job, hire them and support there success.

    You don't need to have three, or ten candidates.

    Say thank you, in writing, after every meeting, interview, web meeting, etc.

    After two weeks, if you can't make up your mind, tell everyone thank you but no thank you, and focus on doing YOUR OWN JOB better. You don't need the position, apparently.

  26. Anonymous

    This is happening so much. This happened to me along with being ghosted. One did not even show up for the zoom interview. I called HR they said I’ll check and get back to you. Which she did but I got the feeling this is typical for them. They wanted to reschedule I said no. I didn’t want to work for someone who has no respect for peoples time. It’s bad out there right now. Very frustrating and discouraging. I felt good when I said NO to them. We have to take care of ourselves because no else will.

    To all of you going through the same thing. I support you we all deserve better.

  27. Nilsa Vera Faraon

    I graduated with my masters in May, have been interviewing since June and have faced these same issues. Every time I hear on the news there is a labor shortage I want to scream!

  28. 60isthenew40

    Because when they say there's a "labor shortage," they mean for unskilled, low-paying positions. Those who need jobs that can actually pay the rent aren't applying for them and those who would fit the bill are happier staying home, apparently.

    The struggle is real.

  29. Anonymous

    Or those people have decided to change fields. I know multiple people who worked in food or hospitality and are now interested in other types of jobs. Providing customer service in the pandemic has caused many people to leave, both for health and stability concerns and also they’re just burned out after being treated poorly.

  30. Micah Dolosa

    the same thing has happened to me over Zoom. i took a day off so I can entertain their zoom meeting only for them to reschedule few hours before. Then they rescheduled for 7PM, I entertained them after my current job's shift. They had me wait past 7PM and asked to rescheduled. I said no need. Such a shame.

  31. Karen Gongaware

    Go you! And forget them.

  32. Jasmine Stauffer

    This can be troubling and confusing for candidates. I’ve found myself in similar positions and I’ve pulled out because I don’t want to join a partnership for a long term assignment and not have warm and fuzzies. Keep at it. As much as we want to rush it, it’s important to remind ourselves the right fit is important.

  33. rgstaffing@bellsouth.net

    This is an absolutely ridiculous process and so unnecessary. I think you should send that and copy several of them including the HR Manager. It is almost interviewing abuse. If they cannot determine the "right fit" in two interviews, this is very indicative of the company culture. Nobody there wants to take responsibility of a decision.
    I would personally never staff a company who engages
    in this kind of process. Trouble with a capital T. They are not serious about hiring. Move on.

  34. Phyllis Reid

    They are a complete waste of time and truly do not respect the time of others, especially those seeking employment. Most time their interviewers lack knowledge and experience, at times based on age. No company with real sense would require more than two interviews for a non-executive position. Leave these loosers alone and move on to better. If they need 4-6 interviews for a job how daft are they and what good could one expect working at such a company.

  35. Anonymous

    I recently interviewed for a junior level role. I interviewed with HR first and when I asked about next steps I was told there would be 5 phases/rounds. The 2nd phase was a skills assessment/homework assignment. Round 3 was a "panel interview" with the same HR person and the hiring manager. The HR person asked me almost the same questions he asked in the first round. Round 4 was another panel interview with the people that would be my peers and lastly (maybe) an interview with the CEO. I didn't make it past Round 3 and am not sorry. They were looking for 3 years of experience. I wonder what their process is for a manager?

  36. Amy

    That sounds like a very inefficient interview process. Do they think candidates have all this free time away from work for 5 rounds? Definitely a red flag for them to feel so particular/entitled to drag candidates through that many rounds.
    This reminds me of an interview I had for a short-term project. It was only one round of interviews, but the hiring manager claimed to have “scribbled his notes” so wanted to call me the next day to ask several questions to me again. He said he wanted to relay the answers to his boss for final hiring approval. Definitely could’ve dodged a bullet on that one, but at least it was short term.

  37. Anonymous

    Thank you for bringing more attention to the ridiculously long, drawn out hiring practices that are painting the current jobseeker’s landscape in grays and murky browns. What are these people thinking? I’m considering doing exactly what you have bravely done. After three interviews for an entry level position (lost my job at 59 during Covid ) for which I am overqualified and could hit the ground running, I was told that I’ll be notified of the re-posting of the job so I can resubmit my application, and they want me to re-apply. It’s insulting and to someone else’s point in her comments, starts to feel like a form of hazing. Thank you for the template. Don’t waste time with people who clearly don’t know what they want, what they’re doing, or start edging toward breaking anti-discrimination laws.

  38. Anonymous

    I had interviewed with 1 company 4 times over 4 months. I appreciated the fact there were vacations and life events that resulted in a bit longer time to schedule interviews, but then after each, I found myself having to email the recruiter for the follow up I was told I would get. Then after all 4 interviews, 3 1/2 weeks later, I was told they were moving on with another candidate. Then I was sent a "survey" asking about my experience. I chose to pass on it, as my frustration was off the charts! As a job seeker, I would just ask that if we are being told there is a follow up likely coming in a week, can we truly get one? I really was hopeful for this position, but after 4 months and waiting 3 weeks for a follow up, I was disappointed.

  39. Anonymous

    When I was applying I got so burnt out. I thankfully did not have to do more than 2 interviews for any position but the process is tedious. I am grateful I got the job I did when I did but I am still getting emails about interviews (or rejection)....I stopped putting in applications the first week of May........

    I will say the reason I chose the job I did is because they communicated the entire time throughout the process. I had two offers around the same time but the other one it was like pulling teeth to get information from them. It made me feel so much more wanted that they chose to communicate what was happening so I totally understand.

  40. Anonymous

    Where do you apply? I've been applying for almost 2 years... it's so frustrating! I'm in the US under a visa, I have my EAD and I fully experience and qualified. But, I feel like I don't even get a chance. I've heard that companies avoid people under a visa with EAD. I wonder why this exists then... and it's expensive to get!

  41. Anonymous

    I think it also has to do with location. This seems to be the norm in NYC even for lower level positions. I agree that it's exhausting and time consuming for an outcome that may not be in your favor.

  42. Anonymous

    It’s in California it’s all over.

Fairygodboss VIP
Achieve your career goals.
Be part of the largest online career community for women to find jobs, advice, and support — for free.
Fairygodboss members