I emailed my resignation today and this is the first time I quit without giving notice. It was such a toxic environment that I'm glad to be out of there but at the same time mourn what I thought was the opportunity.

12 Comments

1. AnonymousJuly 2,2024 at 3:19PM UTC

   Sounds like you made a decision that needed to be made, but you're feeling guilty when you shouldn't. It sounds like you did your best to navigate these issues and you're still offering to help. Take a deep breath and allow yourself to accept your decision and then begin your new adventure to something better. Good luck!

2. AnonymousJuly 3,2024 at 1:16PM UTC

   Thank you and I'm working on being able to fully move on and not feel guilty. The fact that they didn't even respond says a lot and it's time to accept that I needed to take that action and now plan for what's ahead.

3. AnonymousJuly 2,2024 at 3:31PM UTC

   What sort of advice are you seeking?

   Many years ago, I accepted a position in a place where I wanted to work for more than a decade. I was hired on the spot at interview. Boy do I wish I had done my research on that specific department prior to accepting. I was there just over a year and one day I got fed up and left the job no notice. The straw that broke the camel's back was an email from my boss's assistant...an unpleasant person. The department was very toxic (my boss...the department head...was...I'm not even sure how to describe, but he was not a pleasant individual). Almost the entire department had turned over right before I started (I did not know this). The stress started taking a toll on my health. So I called my fiance in tears - getting his blessing for what I was about to do - and responded to the assistant's email basically telling her I quit. And then I left. I sent an email to HR once I got home, demanding an exit interview and also demanding an exception to have my remaining vacation time paid out. They sent me an exit interview form, which I completed, and ran out of space so added another page to it. They did pay out my vacation time. I was also told they would not contest unemployment if I decided to file (I ended up not needing to). For more than a month after I up and quit, I quietly behind the scenes helped the person who covered that role until it could be filled. Yes, without pay. I didn't others to be totally screwed just because my boss and his assistant were total assholes. And the job I went to after that? During the interview "we are very familiar with your boss at previous employer...no explanation needed on why you left."

4. AnonymousJuly 3,2024 at 1:14PM UTC

   I'm sorry you went through that situation especially as you were exited about the company and wanted to work there for so many years.

   I ran into issues with a similar assistant who wanted to make trouble and was allowed to do so my management. That was commendable of you helping out your team to be left in a good position. I've tried to leave other companies better than I started or set up to proceed after leaving. This time, I fought to stay there as long as I could but needed to walk away and find a role where my experience would be valued or at least not talked to condescendingly every day. I appreciated your advice and thank you for sharing your story!

5. AnonymousJuly 2,2024 at 4:47PM UTC

   I’m not clear on what type of advice you are looking for but - don’t feel guilty and don’t look back. I did this 3 years ago and while it took me some time to get back on my feet, it was the best decision I could have made - I’m now making 50% more at an amazing company that treats me with kindness and respect.

   It took me over a year to truly understand and move past what I’d been through, so I know that staying in a toxic environment would have only made things worse. Since you didn’t give notice I would recommend starting your job search right away, as on average it’s taking people many months to find jobs in the current market, but if you need to, I might also suggest taking some days to process your experience and make sure you are not bringing the way you feel about the prior position into the next one. My first few interviews after my ‘escape’ were a mess - I had been so badly burned that I held many assumptions about what constituted a company’s red flags during interviews, and I needed a lot of practice explaining why I left that company in a way that did not sound bitter or traumatized. Make sure that you’re going into the next interview cycle as your best self, as this will make finding the right next role easier. Good luck!

6. AnonymousJuly 3,2024 at 1:08PM UTC

   I'm so sorry that you went through this toxic situation and that it took a toll on your well being. Looking back, I ignored red flags as I was excited about the role. Now, I see the pop-up issues that occurred from the first week. I have battle scars from this position and I recognize that it's going to take time to fully move on and be able to interview without animosity towards this company. Right now, I'm starting to send out resumes and considering relocating for roles as in those areas there are more opportunities for my field. Part of the problem, is that this role was too junior for me and I had more experience than the director. Thank you and I hope you're in a better environment!

7. AnonymousJuly 2,2024 at 5:01PM UTC

   Just see how they respond. For now you did the right thing for yourself and while it is not ideal it needed to be done because their duty of care for your situation failed. Be sure if you sign and exit documents that they include a mutual non-disparagement clause and that the reasons for your leaving are kept neutral. Then there is no chance of blowback to you as you look for a new role. Good luck.

8. AnonymousJuly 3,2024 at 1:04PM UTC

   They didn't respond and while it hurts that my resignation wasn't even acknowledged, it goes back to the problems of the company. Lack of response, treatment and condescending behavior towards women. I've worked in a lot of boys clubs over the years so I've put up with the occasional remark but this was every week. The boss was verbal and even once physically to a female employee. Thankfully not me but I did not want to work in this type of toxic situation. Thank you for the advice and best wishes!

9. AnonymousJuly 7,2024 at 1:56AM UTC

   Glad you mentioned that such a thing as a mutual non-disparagement clause exists, had never known about it. Can you please tell us more, or direct us to any examples of wording? Thank you!

10. AnonymousJuly 3,2024 at 2:22AM UTC

    You did what you had to do for your well-being. You were looking after you. They certainly weren't, so somebody had to. I know it's easy to say, but I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. Take care. Take time to heal (if you can). Good luck in your next endeavor.

11. AnonymousJuly 3,2024 at 1:01PM UTC

    Thank you and I appreciate the best wishes and positivity. I'm trying not to get into my head about the job market and also fear that I need to relocate. While nervous about the future, I'm so grateful to be out of that environment. It was making me sick every day.

12. Maggie SoldanoJuly 4,2024 at 2:58PM UTC

    Notice is a professional courtesy, not a requirement.