How do I stop beating myself up over making silly mistakes at work?

Anonymous

July 17,2022 at 7:33PM UTC

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How do I stop beating myself up over making silly mistakes at work?

I work as an HR assistant. I do my job well but I find myself worrying and obsessing making sure my work is perfect. When I make small errors like entering an incorrect date, I feel super embarrassed and beat myself up the entire day even when my boss and coworkers tell me it’s not a big deal. I have a supportive boss and coworkers. I am an employee with a disability. I use a wheelchair for mobility. I have had negative job experiences in the past and I think that is impacting me in my current job. I have this flawed frame of thinking that I have to be perfect to advance in my job to compensate for being disabled. How do I overcome my fears?

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AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 7:39PM UTC
Do the best you can!!
Disability or not, these errors can be fixed!
Believe in yourself; the rest will take care of itself.
AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 8:47PM UTC
I'm not disabled but I'm similar from above situation.
I've been called a perfectionist, but I'm kind and a patient person. Sometimes I feel I'm being taken advantaged and I don't speak up because I'm afraid to. I just do want to get a job well done, too. Thank you for reminding to believe in oneself.
AnonymousJuly 18,2022 at 12:12AM UTC
It's all good!
I'm just like you -- I totally get it - when I wrote this advice, I was reminding myself of the same!
Kind, patient, hardworking, feel taken advantage of and hard to speak up!! I love most of my job but I am WORN out!!
At the end of the day, we do our best. No one INTENTIONALLY messes up! I fix it, learn for next time and hope for the best
Work to live, not live to work!!
AnonymousJuly 18,2022 at 1:20AM UTC
I love the last thing you said and learning for next time.
AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 8:59PM UTC
It appears you might have some deeprooted unesolved traumas. Seek therapy or set aside time with friends and family you trust to talk those traumas out to help identify the source(s) resolve them so it does not interferre with your confidence
AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 9:08PM UTC
You are not the first to suggest therapy. I work with job coaches who suggested the same. As for traumas, as I mentioned in my post I have negative job experiences that have had lasting impact on me and I am conscious of that.
Liz PerryJuly 18,2022 at 2:13PM UTC
As a recovering perfectionist who has worked through letting things go and managing my anxiety in therapy, I cannot endorse therapy enough. It has made the biggest impact on my life.
If your company has an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), this is a great place to start - most EAPs have a number of free therapy sessions per year per issue per employee.
Speaking from experience, perfectionism essentially held me hostage for years. Learning to let things go and know that you're worthy of breaks and doing things 'good enough' will set you free. Good luck!
AnonymousJuly 18,2022 at 9:33PM UTC
Well said Liz!!
BeaBoss979975July 22,2022 at 6:25PM UTC
There are also medications that ease anxiety. I strongly endorse giving them a try. They gave me my life back.
AnonymousJuly 18,2022 at 9:39PM UTC
I think 2 things might help I forgot to mention that is extremely helpful:
-Practice daily affirmations because self love, acceptance and appreciation is important. Write 20-50 positive things about yourself to counteract your negative thought patterns. (Read over it 3-5x per day). This serves as a way to help re-program your mind to shift your own perceptions about yourself. No its not an overnight fix, but if you are consistent with this everyday and take it seriously, it would not surprise me if you saw impactful shift within 2-3weeks. Let me know how that goes, we are rooting for you.
-Get a stylish journal and journal your thoughts. Get it all out the good, bad, ugly. Everyday jot down and what makes you angry, happy, sad, frustrated. Within a month take a step back and read through your notes. Highlight patterns to more specifically target what caused you the most trauma. Whether you link up with a reliable friend or therapist. Use your journal as an organized means to talk through those ailing events so you can finally have your healing breakthrough.
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJuly 18,2022 at 2:54AM UTC
So here's the thing - no one is perfect.
Literally no one. Please stop beating yourself up for not hitting some completely unattainable standard.
What you would tell a friend or co-worker if they told you what you just told us? My guess is that you would tell them to not worry about it, that everyone makes mistakes, that no one is perfect. And you'd be right. I suggest you extend the same grace to yourself.
AnonymousJuly 21,2022 at 7:29PM UTC
you are correct.
Lesa Edwards, Career Coach & Master Resume WriterJuly 18,2022 at 4:32PM UTC
Your earlier, negative job experiences aren't what is impacting you in your current job. It is your THINKING about those negative job experiences that is doing the damage.
The first step is to acknowledge those negative self-beliefs: write them down on paper. Then decide whether you want to continue to think those things about yourself. (I'm guessing the answer will be "NO!").
Your next step, then, is to find a more positive thought you can begin to practice believing about yourself. You likely wouldn't believe a thought such as "I am great at my job" right away, but what about a thought such as "I'm good at ___(some aspect of your job).
The old, negative thoughts will continue to raise their ugly head for a while, so the trick is to not beat yourself up for them. Continue to pat yourself on the back for thinking more positive thoughts...and fewer negative ones. You'll get there!
AnonymousJuly 21,2022 at 7:28PM UTC
Thank you for the suggestions.
Balanced372207July 21,2022 at 12:34PM UTC
Unfortunately, you do have to be "twice as good" because of your disability. That's real. Black employees have known this for decades and decades.
Kerry HoganJuly 21,2022 at 2:59PM UTC
Begin each day with some affirmations of your choice that give you confidence and also relax you. If you make an error write it down, list ways you can prevent it going forward and tell yourself the next time you will get it right. This works for me - like you even a small mistake can affect my confidence. I also share it with a friend or spouse in order to hear encouraging words.
AnonymousJuly 21,2022 at 7:28PM UTC
Interesting you mention notes. I take notes all the time when learning new things and as you said to not repeat the same error.