I am in the process of interviews to get a new job, which will enable me to leave one that I truly don't enjoy.

Anonymous

March 13,2023 at 6:00PM UTC

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I am in the process of interviews to get a new job, which will enable me to leave one that I truly don't enjoy.

I know that I will receive one of the three jobs for which I am presently being considered, but in the field I am in it takes quite a long time to get through this process. For example, one of the roles has been in discussion since August, another since November. Either of the two of these would end up with me starting likely in June. The third, probably July or August. This is normal and expected.

While I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, my current workplace is quite toxic and I find that I find that I'm having difficulty keeping from losing it.

I would really like to hear from anyone who has gone through something similar and what you did to keep yourself sane and calm until you reached the end zone?

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AnonymousMarch 13,2023 at 9:30PM UTC
I stayed too long at a toxic company and it led to being laid off anyways. Once you receive an offer and have a confirmed start date, if you have enough savings, give your notice and then take the time to move past your last job. That way, you can start the new one feeling refreshed.
Take a trip, spend time with friends and family and and /or just be glad you're out of the situation. If you offered the one commencing in August, give yourself an end date such June and then you know there's an end in sight. Keep telling yourself, you're about to land a role to get you out of your current situation. I'm excited for you and wish you the best with your decision.
AnonymousMarch 14,2023 at 1:18PM UTC
Thank you for this really excellent advice. My best friend stepped in and scheduled us a trip (it's in about three weeks from now) because she was afraid I wouldn't actually take time between jobs. And she has convinced me to book a weekend away that is next weekend. I've honestly never done that kind of thing for myself. Even when I moved across the country to a new job, I was working on the way there and was at work on Monday morning. The job before that, my last day was Thursday, I left the state on Friday, and still started Monday morning at the new job. And maybe that's a part of the problem. I haven't been decompressing between.
Really, thank you for that.
Crystal HowellMarch 13,2023 at 9:44PM UTC
Your mental health comes first, find a temp agency in your field until one of the other 3 calls. What industry is this that takes this long?
AnonymousMarch 14,2023 at 1:05PM UTC
I can't answer that question without revealing myself (potentially) in some way. Temp agencies do not exist in my field.
AnonymousMarch 13,2023 at 9:46PM UTC
I had great luck taking me from the toxicity of my job to building a fantastic personal life.
If was next to impossible to get me down when I was living for me and such a rich life i was building. I would do my best at work but at a minimum. So everyone was fine with my performance but I left nothing at my job....nothing extra. I left promptly and then spent so much energy outside of work and create a joyful life. I truly loved my life and would care less and less about the toxic drama at the office. Whatever happened there didn't even phase me. I became engrossed in my life outside of work. When I left I just smiled and ran out the door.
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistMarch 14,2023 at 5:26AM UTC
First of all, I'm so very sorry this is happening to you. It continues to disgust me how awful humans can treat each other.
Second, you've already done the really hard part. You've decided you're not going to stay there long term. You already know that that is not going to be your future. So there is already a light at the end of your tunnel.
You're getting out and will find a job where you will be happier and fulfilled. They will be stuck with each other.
Get up every day knowing that this awfulness will come to an end, hopefully sooner rather than later. Keep your head down, ignore them and do your work as best you can. Don't give them the ability to make you feel not valued or not necessary - take your power back by not letting their actions define you. You know who you are - they don't get to define your value - YOU DO. Why would you care what they think about you? THEY'RE AWFUL PEOPLE. Their opinions do not matter.
And keep looking for another job - do not stop even if you think you're getting an offer - keep looking, it's never a done deal until you have a written offer letter and the background check has cleared.
Their awfulness is their problem. I know it's not easy, but don't make it your problem. Be a duck and let it roll off your back.
GOOD LUCK!!!!
Cynthia Armistead NewmanMarch 20,2023 at 4:18PM UTC
That's a heck of a lead time!
Back in 2013-2014, I worked in a call center that was absolutely horrid. The company kept losing contracts and laying off people. We did tech support for Comcast and other companies. Comcast's services were terrible, and often the equipment they provided to their customers was bad, so we'd have to tell the customers to go to a local service center and get new equipment. We were called all sorts of names and screamed at repeatedly.
Our schedules were repeatedly changed without warning. There was no way to predict the hours we'd be assigned from one week to the next. I often worked a shift until 3:30 am and was scheduled to be back on the phones at 8 am the next morning. A few times I logged on as scheduled at 4 pm or whatever only to be told that I was several hours late because they'd changed my schedule without notifying me.
Anyway, I survived all the layoffs but they cut our pay after they lost the Comcast contract, and I figured the writing was on the wall. I managed to get hired on at Apple, but their processing time was slow and it was going to be several months before I could start training.
I put a Dry Erase calendar on the wall over my desk on which I counted down the days to my start date. At the end of each workday, I'd mark that day off with a big, black X. Having the visual reminder that there WOULD be an end to the nastiness was a big help!
AnonymousMarch 20,2023 at 6:18PM UTC
Find your balance. In the interim work just the hours you need to and block off 2 breaks per day one in mid morning and one mid afternoon. 15 minutes each. During that time drink tea, coffee, take a walk, read a book, close your eyes, smell the flowers. After work close the door and do nothing till the next morning. Don't check email, don't check voicemail, don't work weekends, no matter what. Take a class, do something relaxing outside of work consistently to feed your soul. During that time visualize the toxicity going down a drain. Good luck in your search, these days jobs are taking 3-6-9 months to get. Hang in there.