A coworker of mine is trying to get certified in a very advanced topic, through our company, and she's struggling with every aspect of the coursework. She has homework due for the cert class every week, and she's fallen behind. She reached out to me and asked if I would do the homework for her, so she could get a certification of completion for the class--and get a bonus.

38 Comments

1. Balanced900205August 8,2024 at 12:23PM UTC

   No she asked and you refused. She keeps spreading lies go to hr.

2. AnonymousAugust 8,2024 at 12:36PM UTC

   You are not in the wrong here ... using someone else's work as one's own is plagiarism and it should not be tolerated period.

   Talk to your superior about your concerns and if they do nothing about them, file a complaint with HR. If the firm is supporting this certification financially or with time off to complete the assignments, then they will be interested in what you have to say.

   Good luck

3. AnonymousAugust 8,2024 at 12:37PM UTC

   I would say it's only so much you can do, if the co-worker can't comprehend and take time out to study and do the coursework for herself this might not be for her. When you're trying to advance in the corporate world you have to be very determined to put in the work, and some people just can't. No, you're not an A-Hole for not doing the homework for her and you don't have to explain why you can't.

4. AnonymousAugust 8,2024 at 12:44PM UTC

   Umm capital N-O! Not only is it immoral of her to ask and jeopardizes her job it could jeopardize your job. I work in HR and I know people have been fired for similar situations. Both the person who asked and the person who “helped.” Did this coworker ask via email? If so I hope you replied back no. If you don’t want to report her to HR directly. At least I’d document the incident for your own records. Just in case. You probably aren’t the only one she asked.

5. CMTAugust 8,2024 at 12:55PM UTC

   No you are not the issue she should know better and never put you in this compromised position. Because you told her no , now she is being passive aggressive. I would certainly let her know that if she continues down this path of disrespect, dishonesty and disregard for you as a co worker that you will request a meeting with the 3 of you ( your boss included)!!

6. AnonymousAugust 8,2024 at 12:56PM UTC

   Absolutely not. Good for you for saying no. If she's not going to do it herself, why should she reap the benefits of it? And that now she's trying to sabotage you? You need to somehow get in front of that (and my brain's not totally awake yet for advice on how to do that).

7. AnonymousAugust 8,2024 at 1:16PM UTC

   As someone “older” and seeking/taking classes to upskill, you are absolutely NOT the a-hole here! In fact, meet with your manager and explain you are not comfortable with her crossing such boundaries. That you applaud her for trying to meet goals and accomplishments for her job but that it’s outside the scope of your duties to do her work for the class, simply so she can earn a bonus. This is not a collaborative project for the company in which all benefit. This is her decision to try to upskill but also falling behind on her daily workload and productivity (losing focus and unable to manage her time) which is not your burden to carry. You made the suggestion to her to try a less demanding class so that she can excel in steps while learning, and she declined. Again, that’s HER decision and not yours. Keep your boundaries and connect with your manager if she continues to play a toxic role. Her classes are not your responsibility or job to make her appear more important or improved for her own goals. This is not a shared goal or a team project, and you aren’t getting a bonus for doing the work she needs to complete. So, there’s nothing truly in it for you. Especially if you already have that level of skill. It would be an entirely different story if she simply asked for your opinion or insight on the modules she’s having difficulty with understanding (as sometimes an outside explanation can render a better understanding of an element). But that’s not her ask… and her ask is for you to carry her load while she reaps the benefit alone. That’s a hard NO and, again, you are absolutely correct to deny her.

8. AnonymousAugust 8,2024 at 1:18PM UTC

   It wouldn't even be a question fir me. It's her homework and her bonus.

9. AnonymousAugust 8,2024 at 1:27PM UTC

   It is incredibly ballsy of her to ask you to do something so unethical and then turn toxic when you refuse. By all means, you are NOT the a-hole in this situation. Either report her to management or if you want to try a softer approach, warn her that you will report her to both management and the school/program if she doesn't back off. As a holder of four degrees that I got on my own and countless certifications, I have no patience or respect for people who want to cheat their way there. If you do her homework, she learns nothing, and her certification isn't worth the paper on which it's printed. If the certification earns her a bonus, that is fraud. I could go on, but I think I'll stop there.

10. AnonymousAugust 8,2024 at 6:28PM UTC

    Congrats on those degrees!

11. AnonymousAugust 9,2024 at 12:50PM UTC

    Thank you.

12. AnonymousAugust 8,2024 at 1:32PM UTC

    If you have this request in writing, take it to your boss. This worker should know better. This is not high school. If she is a grown person who made a grown decision to take a class, it's on her and it's her responsibility only, not yours. Go to your boss immediately and squash this. Don't ever think you're the bad person for not helping. This is not your lane to help her. It's on her. What you did to suggest a less demanding cert. was nice of you. That's all you can do. Not your problem. If she harasses you, does anything in writing especially, send all of this to your personal email for your records. Print them, then take to your boss immediately and let her know this made you uncomfortable and it's not your role to do her homework. Her challenges are not your challenges. If any colleague causes problems, document the timeline and take it to higher ups and HR. She will probably find herself in big trouble. Again, not your lane, it's her responsibility to live her life and manage it.

13. AnonymousAugust 8,2024 at 1:56PM UTC

    I think that she must do her homework you can help her on the side. She needs to be responsible and involved in her personal training. You can check her homework to make sure she is doing ok.

    good luck

14. Wanda ShawAugust 11,2024 at 6:30PM UTC

    It probably wouldn’t be a good idea to offer to help on the side. , simply because this would cause an increased reliance on the tutor and expectations that the they would be available whenever and wherever to help out. Can you imagine how intrusive this would be on someone’s personal time?

15. AnonymousAugust 8,2024 at 4:08PM UTC

    First of all, you are not the A-Hole. When you say she''s "older and her skill set is becoming irelevant" it reminds me that employees like her are the reason ageism exists. Many older workers are compentent, talented, adaptable and willing to learn hew skills to stay relevent and marketable. Her attitude reinforces the stereotyles so many are trying to break.

16. Wanda ShawAugust 10,2024 at 10:12PM UTC

    AMEN!!!!

17. AnonymousAugust 12,2024 at 6:40PM UTC

    Yes, colleague might have let her skills erode and her retaliation against OP is unethical and unacceptable.

    But OP’s evident ageism isn’t too great, either.

18. AnonymousAugust 8,2024 at 4:38PM UTC

    Also, remove yourself from the situation. Do not offer to help her. Or check her homework. You are not her mama, you are not her tutor either. Tell her you are not comfortable getting involved in a cert she is trying to get. The nice me would have offered to help her BEFORE she damaged our working relationship by being passive aggressive. The behavior she exhibited is expected of a toddler. Throwing tantrums or fits is equivalent to passive aggressive behavior. If she's in over her head, that's on her, not you. Hang in there!

19. AnonymousAugust 9,2024 at 4:08AM UTC

    Not at all! You want to be a team player but not like that. This person is a bully and most likely you’re not the only one that has been the recipient of her ire. Not only would it have been unethical for you to do her homework for her, but it would have put her at even greater career disadvantage than she’s in right now, especially if she has to apply what she “supposedly” learned. What you advised her to do was spot on. And if she couldn’t see the wisdom behind it, then that’s her problem and not yours. Try to rise above the malarkey that she’s spewing out because the truth will come out, if it hasn’t already

20. Heather McAugust 9,2024 at 1:13PM UTC

    Do you have documentation of her asking for the "help" to do her homework? If so, let her know you have it and tell her to shut her trap or you'll take it to your management. Sounds rude, I know, but if she's going to play that way and you don't fight back, there is no winning.

21. Evelyn LivantAugust 9,2024 at 2:08PM UTC

    Do the work for her? Last I knew, that is called cheating. How would that look? You take the certification exam in her place and if you’re not caught, you put someone without qualifications on a job she can’t do?

    Don’t overdose on a need to be nice. I wouldn’t think twice about turning her down.

22. AnonymousAugust 9,2024 at 7:30PM UTC

    Agree. She shouldn't check homework. The reply was to not do that. I think we all agree that the OP should not help her at all.

23. Diane WatsonAugust 9,2024 at 10:56PM UTC

    No stand your ground and perhaps you should let HR know.

24. AnonymousAugust 10,2024 at 1:05AM UTC

    The audacity!! This is worthy of an escalation to your boss. In writing. Just say I wanted to take a moment to discuss workload. Is this something that you’d like me to do? Say you’ll set up time to discuss. Most certainly the boss will say no to this task.

    And when they do, send her an email that you won’t be able to support the task per your boss. BCC your boss.

    In writing it’s important. I have found that people who have the audacity to ask something like this would be the first to make some sort of an issue or retaliate.

    Before meeting with your boss…, you can ask her to estimate how much support she needs for each weekly module so it’s clear that she asked you to cheat and send that to your boss.

    The purpose of involving the manager is not to ask for permission to cheat. The point is to lean on the manager to manage the situation so the OP doesn’t suffer from retaliation and the issue is properly documented. This peer is acting with audacity and the OP should not try to manage this on their own. This is exactly the reason to document & escalate. It’s likely that there will be retaliation from the peer. No reasonable manager would agree to cheat. And if they do support that culture, the OP has openly (and in writing) requested support.

25. AnonymousAugust 10,2024 at 2:37PM UTC

    I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with this approach. Your approach signals to the boss that the OP will do something unethical if the boss approves, making the boss a co-conspirator in the dishonest behavior. She isn't asking for "help with" but "doing" the co-worker's homework so she can receive a certification and bonus.

    I had an employee who was working on finishing her degree, and I fired her. I had written her up for doing school work on company time and poor attendance, but the "nail in the coffin" was when I checked the work browser history on the computer she was using and found that she was browsing sites that sold papers and assignments and included the payment pages. When asked about it, she admitted it, but none of the behavior on her PIP had changed, so we let her go.

26. surfnwriteAugust 10,2024 at 12:19PM UTC

    No, she is, for asking you to do it.

27. ArynAugust 10,2024 at 12:46PM UTC

    I’m sorry this is happening to you. She is feeling threatened, recognizing her skill set is no longer ‘up to par’ (nor is her memory or concentration or focus, or decency as she’s thrown you under the bus!!). You made the correct (and healthy) decision. For whatever reason, she’s trying to get out of doing the work herself. Assuming you have a decent relationship with your boss, I would act directly, briefly explaining the situation, in a non-attacking way, and seek their input. Adios coworker.

28. AnonymousAugust 10,2024 at 2:11PM UTC

    So, she is trying to ruin your career and reputation because you won't be dishonest and do her work? If you have evidence, such as email, that she wants you to do her work, I would reach out to both her instructor and HR. Her certification will be absolutely worthless. I'm sure she has already found someone else to help her cheat. I know people will disagree with me but this not just a spat between employees, this employee has zero moral compass. She cheats, lies, retaliates and willing to receive bonusses based on that behavior. She cares so little about you that she is willing to destroy your reputation because she asked you to do something totally unethical and immoral. She is a bully. Please stand up to her. Every time she wins at games like this (and I am sure this isn't her first rodeo) it helps her feel more powerful and becomes a bigger bully. She's the one that chose to not continue to update her skill set to stay relevant in the field. You are not responsible for her poor choices.

29. fduntvAugust 10,2024 at 2:31PM UTC

    don’t do it! Politely decline. If she can’t do the coursework, what will happen when she is faced with similar and more complex problems at work? Think about the problems this will cause in the future. Do yourself and her a favor by not helping her. Sometimes failing is the best option.

30. Heather McAugust 10,2024 at 7:26PM UTC

    It’s a figure of speech. But OP does need to stand her ground with the bully and tell her in no uncertain terms her behavior is unacceptable. And document that discussion. I don’t think it’s a good idea to involve mgmt at the outset bc it may give the impression to mgmt that she’s conflict-averse.

31. Tricia BurroughsAugust 10,2024 at 9:00PM UTC

    Umm she is asking you to cheat for her at work? NO. If she is already telling your boss lies about you I would tell my bass what she asked of me.

32. AnonymousAugust 11,2024 at 1:17PM UTC

    YNTA, she is trying to pull a fast one.

33. AnonymousAugust 11,2024 at 2:20PM UTC

    I would let the credentialing organization know that she is cheating, or at least trying to. They do not want to compromise their reputation by having an unqualified person boasting a credential.

34. Heather McAugust 12,2024 at 12:49PM UTC

    You're more than within your right to disagree - I'm just providing another view on the situation, based on my own personal experience on both sides of this situation (manager and bullied employee). Fully agree with you though: "Shut your trap" was a poor choice of words to illustrate my point.

35. Liz MilneAugust 12,2024 at 2:07PM UTC

    No, you're not the a-hole, she is, hugely!

    She wants you to do some work for her, earn her a bonus (guessing she didn't make any offers to share that? (And even if she did that just doubles the yikes!) )

    She sounds completely immoral and mean - go to your boss and show him the proof of her asking you to take the test for her and explain that's why she's turned on you...

36. AnonymousAugust 12,2024 at 6:31PM UTC

    No, your colleague is the A/H in this scenario. Her retaliation is beyond the pale. And her asking you to do her homework is unethical. If this situation continues, take it to your manager or HR.

    But you could have handled this a lot better. You could have given your colleague a helpful tip or two on her homework. And your suggestion that she earn a less difficult certification might have sounded patronizing to her, however well-meant.

    I am also struck by your disdain for your colleague’s age, aspirations and skills. Your ageism is extremely off-putting. Remember that you’ll be your colleague’s age some day and that karma comes around fast. Practice kindness and respect.

37. AnonymousAugust 12,2024 at 9:53PM UTC

    I hope you have some sort of tangible evidence of her asking for you to do this homework. and are documenting all of this. And you're not the AH.

38. AnonymousAugust 31,2024 at 10:35PM UTC

    OP here, she found someone to do the work allowing her to complete the training and get a raise.

    She somehow manipulated a customer into doing the work for her. Good luck to her, because I'm gonna tell everyone to reach out to her--the new subject matter expert.