I'm frustrated.

Anonymous

December 27,2022 at 5:41PM UTC

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I'm frustrated.

A year ago I landed my "dream job" after fighting for years for a chance in HR - I was offered the opportunity to become a recruiter.

Unfortunately, since day 1 my boss has proven to be arrogant, ignorant, and incompetent. In the course of 1 year she driven off 3 of the 4 workers I started with - 2 of these workers had 47 years experience between them. She's never bothered to learn the jobs that she manages, so every time we go to her with a question she literally doesn't know what to do or the direction she gives just makes the situation worse. Suffice it to say - myself and the replacements for the 3 that previously departed are all looking for other jobs.

I've spoken with her boss several times about specific situations and while he agrees she is impossible to deal with, he's told me that she's never done anything egregious enough to get fired - she gets just right up to the line of misconduct but doesn't pass it.

Meanwhile, I'm on intermittent FML for mental health (PTSD) and taking care of my father (who we just moved into assisted living). She's obviously upset about this and has started demanding that I compromise on the 2 days a week I take to help my dad with his medical appointments and personal affairs - because those days conflict with meetings or orientation. I know this is inappropriate but feel powerless to stand up to her, her boss is aware of the situation but can't seem to do anything either.

So I'm looking for work and exploring my options. I'm stuck though - in spite of having 2 bachelors degrees, my 25 years of working doesn't seem to count as experience since I had a variety of jobs more for survival than career trajectory. I'm having interviews but not getting offers and my answer for why I want to leave my current job is the "correct" answer you are expected to give.

I'm wondering if I should be authentic and talk about why I want to change roles, because the culture of an organization and the quality of leadership is what I'm wanting. I also wonder what kind of interview questions I could ask to determine the leadership style of a prospective boss.

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Maegan, Nike Sales Rep & Career CoachDecember 27,2022 at 6:01PM UTC
Sorry you are in this situation, but it sounds like you are on the right path to leaving something that is not a positive work experience for you.
I think you should be authentic when answering the question, and I think there is a way you can answer it without complaining about your manager. What you said in your post is perfect, culture of the org and career trajectory are reasons why you are leaving. Make sure you are really clear on what culture you are looking for and specifically what kind of growth you are focused on gaining. That can help swing the conversation into more of a positive experience, and help them see you as someone they would want to have on their team, not just someone looking to get out of their current job.
As far as not getting offers, you might just need a little tweaking in how you are positioning yourself. When they can visualize you in the role solving their specific problems & being an asset to the team, this can help them see you as the ideal candidate and really WANT you for the role.
I can help you with this if you are looking for next level support, my email is maegan@maeganmiller.com if you want to learn more about how I can help you !
AnonymousDecember 27,2022 at 6:09PM UTC
There are a tremendous amount of blogs, vlogs and articles written to suss out the leadership style and management of a prospective employer. So just do some research. I've found my network is invaluable to supply info on specifics.
As for interviews and revealing your struggles with your current company leadership, I would not go there. It usually opens up enough doubt and assumptions than it does to clarify.
Try an focus on the common threads of your 25 years of experience. And be as specific as possible with regards how your experience applies to the open role. Since your experience isn't an obvious career track. You might need to connect the dots for the hiring manager. Or reduce the number of years you are describing so your background is more applicable.
Finally, understand that this time if year is the most difficult to job search. With holidays, new budgets and a lack of approvals fir headcount, things slow way down.
AnonymousDecember 27,2022 at 6:41PM UTC
From my experience job-hunting over age 50, bringing up years of experience is only a good thing if it shows growth and a willingness to learn new things. With so much "boomer" slamming going around and stereotypes about older people, it's best not to rely on years of experience as a positive factor. The most recent 5-10 years are the most important, especially if any kind of technology or research-oriented factors are in play.
AnonymousDecember 27,2022 at 6:36PM UTC
If you jump ship, you won't be eligible for FMLA for your first year, so if you can reframe this as a way to get that time for yourself and your family rather than a huge disappointment over a "dream" job that turned out to be a nightmare.
If you can get a lateral transfer, that would be the best option.
I have asked in interviews what my potential boss's favorite management book is (there was a shelf full of management books behind his desk), and he admitted he hadn't read most of them. I asked my current boss what her management style is straight out.
Before you get to that point though, consider dropping the phrase "dream job" from your mental vocabulary. All jobs have ups and downs and there is always at least one jerk to deal with.
Natasha LorensDecember 27,2022 at 8:41PM UTC
Practice ( by writing it down) your succinct career goal statement.
Who are you and what is your specialty? Include what kind of organization you are looking to apply that specialty in. Do this without thinking about a particular company or job title. It's a job's function that will make it a fit. This will help you seek out new roles.
When people ask you why you left your last job, they are looking to find out if they have what it takes to make you stay at the new one. Far too often women overshare in this area. You didn't say what answer you gave, but it's unlikely that answer is the reason you aren't advancing.
If your family circumstances are the reason you have to stay in this role longer than you like, focus on the outcomes for this role and try to do a great job the days you are there. If you can be flexible, do so. Meetings and orientations are important sometimes. If you can't, make sure your other deliverables are being met to protect yourself from what sounds like a rough situation until you can land somewhere new.
AnonymousDecember 28,2022 at 1:24PM UTC
I would suggest that you stop focusing on the number of years of work experience. It doesn't offer a compelling argument and often opens up too much age discrimination and a chance fir people to disregard whatever skill you bring to the role. In many cases it paints the wrong picture of stale, stagnation in jobs that are not current, cutting edge or progressive.
Tasha L. SimmonsJanuary 2,2023 at 1:45PM UTC
Hey
One thing you said that you could improve is seeing yourself as powerless which not true.
Why you want to leave your current job should be answered with your authentic answer the reply should answer your question about leadership. Also network within the organization if you like the organization