Unsure if it's the Project, or Me.

Unsure if it's the Project, or Me.

I was hired 4 months ago in an Implementation Manager role for an enterprise client. It's the company's biggest client by far, and the project was launched in 2019. Because of this, I believed a large part of the project was clearly defined, and there would be documentation to review on budget and schedule, but that was not the case.

To cut a long story short, the project's prior Implementation Managers were both promoted to new roles, leaving me to fend for myself. They 'trained' me about the product and role as they learned their new roles, but in a very inconsistent manner. One takes weeks to respond to even the smallest of requests.

I created a 100-plus-page manual and trackers to help us be in line for various stages of the project, and while it's helped and the team has expressed a lot of gratitude, I'm still shocked that nothing was created sooner. I even developed a 30/60/90 day training plan for the new guy. It feels like a red flag that I am training the new person when I was on the job for 3 months and others have been here since launch.

In internal meetings as of late, I feel like I'm put on the spot if I don't immediately know the next step of a process or can't find the data fast enough. You know the way people talk in corporate speak where they are kindly telling you that you're messing up or not grasping something fast enough? I feel like every meeting is like this, and I'm in 9 meetings a day. I've also been the only Implementation Manager on a project so big it's been manned by 2 people in the past for the last 4 months.

I'm burnt out, I feel stupid, and my frustration is starting to come out in meetings. I have a meeting with the director on Wednesday (a normal check-in) and I'm not sure how to word to her that I feel like I'm not properly supported. Any advice?