“Writer” is the job title I put in my dating app profiles. I have never elaborated much beyond that in terms of including the company name or anything. I tend to espouse a ‘less is more’ mentality on free dating apps. Part of this is done because I don’t think I should make it easy for strangers to know my entire life story before they have met me. Why would I go out on a date if they knew everything about me?
The other part, the overwhelming part, is that everyone you encounter on dating apps is a stranger. It is not difficult to match with someone and presume that they are everything they present in their profile. If the dates don’t work out that expectation of who they thought you were (and vice versa) shatters against reality. Most people move on afterwards, but others get hung up over what happened. They know quite a bit about you vis-à-vis what’s shared on your app, and may keep you on their radar for some time after.
So, should you add your workplace information in your dating app profile, or leave it out entirely? I asked female professionals for their take on swiping left or right when making this decision.
Trish McDermott is one of the original pioneers of online dating. 24 years ago, McDermott was on the startup team at Match.com. She spent 10 years as a dating expert on the site. McDermott, who is now a dating coach at Meetopolis, also wrote the first dating safety tips during her time at Match.
It has been more than two decades since then, but McDermott says these tips haven’t changed. She advises keeping work details, like the name of the company you work for and its location, out of your dating app profile.
“You can refer to your type of work, like I work in advertising or at a non-profit that focuses on important environmental issues,” McDermott explains. “Just don’t get specific.”
When should you get specific about where you work? McDermott says to save those details for the second date, once your date has passed the initial first date screening process.
Morgan Mandriota is a freelance writer at hawk + pearl and contributing writer to sites like Betches, BuzzFeed, and Thought Catalog. She doesn’t include the names of the companies she writes for, but she does put her job title on her Bumble and Tinder profiles.
“I’m afraid of getting stalked by creeps, so I think the title alone is enough,” Mandriota admits. Not including more work information hasn’t acted against Mandriota either.
“The fact that I’m a writer has served as an awesome talking point,” Mandriota says.
Professional writer Kimberly Blaker experienced one of the absolute worst case scenarios in online dating profiles a few years ago.
Blaker mentioned in her dating profile that she was the owner of a used bookstore. She didn’t think much about it, until one day when a guy showed up at her office with a small wrapped gift. He told Blaker he saw her dating profile, did an online search ad found the name of her bookstore and its address.
“He told me he just knew if he dropped by and I met him in person, I would see he and I were a perfect match,” Blaker recounts.
Blaker was stunned by the stranger’s bold stunt. Blaker also had an employee working in a hidden aisle who overheard the entire exchange and was thankful when the employee made her presence known to him. Blaker managed to keep her composure until the stranger left, but that wasn’t the end of it. He sent an email to her business email address later that day. She quickly put him in his place and was fortunate enough to never hear from him again.
The experience was a wake-up call for Blaker. She never included this much work information in her public dating apps again.
“I realized what a vulnerable situation I had put myself in by disclosing just enough information for someone to find me.”
Mackenzie Riel, a sex and relationship expert at romance company TooTimid, loves adding her job title to her dating app profile. Riel has found that most men look for women that are driven and can hold her own in the working world. She says having motivation and drive in your career — and life — is sexy.Bonus points if you love what you do.
“I know that I like a person even more when I learn what their passions are and see that moment of their face lighting up when they talk about it," Riel says.
Is it a bit of a risk to include your job title in your dating app? Yes. But Riel says it’s also honest.
“Displaying your job title says a lot about you as a person in my book. It shows you’re upfront and honest about who you are and trust is one of the best ways to start any relationship.”
Nicole Franco, a media relations associate at marketing agency Fractl, is currently on Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble. While she avoids location information, she always puts her job title and job description in her dating apps. Franco likes men to know she’s a working woman, and she includes both as a sense of empowerment.
Plus, she always checks other people's titles before dating them: “I always look at a man’s job description. If it doesn’t fit the bill of what I’m looking for, I swipe left.”
Surprisingly though, Franco doesn’t often receive responses from matches that mention her job. She gets the most responses about being a Florida Gator, or compliments on her photos accompanied by silly pickup lines.
“I think men look at job descriptions to see if a woman is successful, but I know they pay more attention to witty responses and cute photos," Franco says. “Succeeding in dating apps is all about being amusing. You have to know how to market yourself.”