For those who identify as female, what “traditions” exist today within the world of work that need to be removed or updated?

33 Comments

1. AnonymousOctober 2,2023 at 7:16PM UTC

   Do:

   Call out your buddies who make sexist comments and degrade their female colleagues.

   DONT (and call out people who do):

   Expect women to take the meeting minutes and distribute them (start by volunteering to do it.

   Expect the women to make coffee and clean the kitchen (just pitch in and do this).

   Most of all: Don't pay the women less than men with the same experience because they "might" have to take off time to care for family. If you're in management, advocate for policies that address pay and title equity between men and women.

2. AnonymousOctober 3,2023 at 2:54PM UTC

   Thank you! This was super helpful!

3. AnonymousOctober 5,2023 at 6:34PM UTC

   This really nailed it. Nothing in society is going to change until men start calling one another out on their bad behavior.

4. AnonymousOctober 5,2023 at 10:19PM UTC

   Also ensure equity in paid leave. Men and women should get equal amounts.

5. AnonymousOctober 2,2023 at 8:33PM UTC

   The golf course! ... and going out to bars, or talking sports before meetings, or any discussion about video games! Workplace conversations should take place in the workplace, and non-work conversations should be inclusive. Women have to listen to sports stories, but how many men will listen to talk about "women's" things?

   There has to be a better way to bond.

6. AnonymousOctober 3,2023 at 2:57PM UTC

   Interesting! I've definitely challenged people to avoid making sports metaphors considering many people (both men and women) don't follow sports lore.

   Love your note about the golf course and bars. I hadn't thought about either! Thank you!

7. AnonymousOctober 5,2023 at 9:38PM UTC

   Nope, I disagree. I should not, nor should anyone else, be expected to adjust their conversations so that everyone can be included. I happen to like sports, I also happen to be a gamer as a form of stress release. Educate yourself and level up instead of expecting others to level down.

8. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 1:15PM UTC

   1:1 conversations, agree. When in a group, the conversation needs to be more inclusive. Otherwise, take the discussion elsewhere unless you want to sit quietly and look interested when two people are discussing things you don't understand that are not pertinent to the work you all do.

9. AnonymousOctober 9,2023 at 6:11PM UTC

   I’ve had men do that with me with sports and women do it with me with children (I’m childfree.) Once they’ve found out you’re not one of them they don’t bother including you anyway.

10. Sharon LuongOctober 6,2023 at 1:20PM UTC

    This is an unexpected take. Why are sports and games (as a gamer myself) considered a "level up" whereas what the original commenter said (women's things) considered a "level down"? If anything, everyone should be "expected" to "level up" by learning about things outside of their comfort zone to be inclusive. Be better.

11. AnonymousOctober 7,2023 at 10:23PM UTC

    By level up I mean educate yourself on the topics whether it is sports or air fryers. Educate yourself so you can participate rather than pick simpler topics for “all to participate.”

12. AnonymousOctober 9,2023 at 8:20PM UTC

    Also confused. In what world learning about people running after a ball is leveling up?

13. AnonymousOctober 10,2023 at 6:21PM UTC

    In another comment I said that educating yourself on whatever the topic is is leveling up. It’s showing an interest in other people and a sense of team or camaraderie.

14. candy friedliOctober 9,2023 at 2:19PM UTC

    For context, I work in a dept made up of about 25 men and 2 women, been there just over 1 year. It drives me bananas that this is the 2nd “work” fantasy football season where, I’m pretty sure I was intentionally excluded because I’m a woman.

    Either they assumed I’m not interested or they are scared of my statistical acumen? ??‍♀️

15. AnonymousOctober 3,2023 at 4:27PM UTC

    Assuming that a woman with children can't or won't want to travel for work or level up in their career because of the kids.
    Also being openly curious/uncomfortable around specifically cis/hetero/married women who are childless.

16. AnonymousOctober 5,2023 at 1:16PM UTC

    Assuming that only women should do the "housekeeping" tasks at work: stocking supplies, filing, ordering food for meetings, cleaning the pantry, etc.

17. AnonymousOctober 8,2023 at 3:42AM UTC

    A few years ago I was hired as an analyst. There were also two men on the analyst team. Yet I was assigned to take the meeting minutes, order catering, and organize thank you gifts. The men, were assigned to organize the UAT process. Guess who didn't have a job after a few months and who did? No one promotes the department care takers.

18. AnonymousOctober 5,2023 at 2:13PM UTC

    The idea that if you need to do school pickups or drop offs or you can't work weekends that you are not committed to the job. Stop expecting women, and frankly people in general, to work like men who are married to SAHM wives, having someone at home who takes care of everything else. It's not fair, it's not realistic.

19. AnonymousOctober 5,2023 at 6:05PM UTC

    That women without kids should pick up the slack for people who do; as well as being expected to work holidays since “they don’t have family.” Yep. Been living it for 49 years.

20. AnonymousOctober 5,2023 at 10:17PM UTC

    It goes along with the comment below. Staff so that everyone can have a life outside of work and so that mo one needs to work ridiculous hours in order to pick up snack or even get ahead.

21. AnonymousOctober 7,2023 at 7:55PM UTC

    A thousand times yes agreeing to this.

22. surfnwriteDecember 4,2023 at 3:43PM UTC

    Absolutely! We all have things we want to do on the holidays, kids or not!

23. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 3:02PM UTC

    Don't assume that just because a woman happens to be disabled that is unwilling or unable to do the same things as her non-disabled peers regardless if they are male or female.

    I had this assumed by traditional employers and was unable to find work because of it. I now work for myself, and the strange thing that I've found is the same small business owners that wouldn't hire me to work in their business due to me having multiple hidden disabilities are often wanting to and willing to hire me as their remote or virtual bookkeeper. I refuse to take on clients that don't value people like myself in their business, despite the fact that we can easily do the work with a little help and coming up with solutions to understand how and why we do things that often make things run quicker and smoother in their business.

24. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 9:48PM UTC

    Don't assume women want to plan all the "parties" because they love that kind of thing. Don't pass over a woman for a promotion because she might not be able to dedicate the same amount of time because she has family obligations. Do listen and ask for their ideas on strategies or initiatives. Thanks for asking.

25. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 10:41PM UTC

    Many people have already commented similarly, but not putting women up for relevant business trips/opportunities because they are married or have a family. I've been passed over repeatedly for opportunities because I have a child, but I would certainly have considered several of these opportunities (had I been asked) because they would have opened me up to greater visibility within the organization on the whole. Women, in general, do a lot of 'non-promotable work' that gets them surface-level recognition with low-level management and peers but does little to nothing to help them grow past those points. Let the women you work with have right of refusal instead of making assumptions about what they would and would not be willing to take on.

26. Erika RobersOctober 7,2023 at 7:01PM UTC

    As a mom who is the primary caregiver for a son with a disability and mental illness as well as my elderly mom with dimentia, I'm punished for not fitting into traditional work hours, or for not being as "chipper" as I should be. Find compassion and understanding for those in this position- as unpaid carework is still mostly done by women and remains "invisible" yet at the end of our lives, is what matters most.

27. Erika RobersOctober 7,2023 at 7:01PM UTC

    Also, good for you for asking this question. Just the fact that you are asking and open to learning is a huge departure from the norm.

28. AnonymousOctober 13,2023 at 4:22PM UTC

    100!!!

29. AnonymousOctober 7,2023 at 8:00PM UTC

    Be aware that not all women can or want to 'pretty themselves' up to fit some outdated notions of what women are supposed to be. I don't wear make-up or jewelry; I don't style my hair in some fancy do with lots of product or hair color. I don't dress in the trendiest fashions or wear heels. I have my reasons why and I should have to explain any of them. The thing to note: None of this impacts my job performance. Help break that stereotype that women must be beautiful to be professional and successful.

30. AnonymousOctober 13,2023 at 4:22PM UTC

    Agreed! It's okay to wear makeup and dress up, it's okay to not wear makeup. But I do feel like whatever I choose people make it there business to comment on it and I'm over it lol

31. Zeecil KimmelOctober 9,2023 at 2:03PM UTC

    When you see a co-worker or anyone else on a meeting or in an email speak disrespectfully or even less respectfully then they would speak to you - stand up. The most important thing I want in an ally personally is for them to say "yup its not in your head xyz would never dare speak to me that way - but I will make sure to pop in the next time it happens and show I stand with you."

32. AnonymousOctober 13,2023 at 4:35PM UTC

    The notion that men and women can't be friends. I'm not saying it needs to go beyond work-friends, but there have been quite a few situations where I was accused of "flirting" when really I was just being friendly. And I mean "hey, I'm going to the soda machine does anyone want anything?" friendly. In fact, I'm married! My current counter-part is a male and we get along well and it has made me stay at my current job much longer than I would have - just being seen as a person. That's so sad but it's true. Because of the negative experiences I've had with men, it's made me very guarded. I feel like men in the work place see you as a motherly figure or a witch. There's no winning. Especially with older men. I don't think men (regular, nice guys) realize all the dirty jokes and inappropriate situations women are put in all time, that we just ignore because it's not worth the effort. Obviously, not all men are like this, but just having the empathy for what we go through is a great step. For example, my husband has great friendships with female co-workers. He puts in no effort for this, just simply sees them as equals, sees me as an equal and it has made all the difference.

33. surfnwriteDecember 4,2023 at 3:42PM UTC

    Is it the men who are accusing you of flirting? In that case, I would reply something along the lines of, "Don't flatter yourself." I have noticed that whenever I get into a conversation with a male colleague that goes on a little outside the business parameters, they will invariably slip in a reference to "my wife" or "my girlfriend," which sounds suspiciously to be code for "I'm taken." Oh, the ego!