I recently requested that my job (currently 3 days in office and 2 work from home) allow me to relocate to Florida in order to help care for my mother.

Beth Damiano

January 25,2024 at 6:56PM UTC

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I recently requested that my job (currently 3 days in office and 2 work from home) allow me to relocate to Florida in order to help care for my mother. She lives with my brother, but she definitely needs someone there during the day while he sleeps (he's a night owl who is up from like 4 pm to 8 am) just to help her with simple things (picking things up that fall, making sure she eats, keeping an eye out for heart attack signs). I joined the company only a few month before the COVID shutdown hit, and doing the math, have worked more days from home than in the office. When my mother was having heart issues this part August, I was allowed to work remotely from Florida for most of that month to be there for her. I even worked from her hospital room for a few days!

All in all, to me, this sounds like a reasonable accommodation, especially as I have proved history of being able to work completely remote (we do daily work logs and comparing days in with days out of the office; I get more done AWAY from the office). But HR just got back to me saying that since they don't have and don't intend to have a physical office in Florida, my request is fully denied. Is there someone who could overrule HR, like the CEO or COO (both of whom I can speak to)?

Does anyone have any suggestions that may allow me to still make the move and work full-time remote? Or do I just need to find a new remote job?

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AnonymousJanuary 25,2024 at 7:46PM UTC
I defer to those with more expertise, but this sounds like the issue may be tied to state taxes and how organizations report employees and taxes to individual states. In know my former employer only hired people from certain states.
KatJanuary 25,2024 at 7:58PM UTC
Would it be possible to share the cost of a private care giver with your brother instead of relocating? That could take some of the burden off both of you while still providing care for your mom. Your company's denial of your relocation doesn't sound like it has anything to do with your work ethic or productivity. It could be for tax/liability purposes or some other business reason. I know there are remote companies that only hire in states where they operate or where there's a physical office for staff to report to. If you like your job and the company, stay with it. If you feel you must be 100% remote, then look for a Florida-based company to work for or relocate and then find a new job, remote or otherwise.
AnonymousJanuary 25,2024 at 8:07PM UTC
You will probably have to start looking elsewhere. You might be able to keep your position via FMLA, but note that it's unpaid.
Some execs just hate remote work on principle. I'm guessing whoever granted your original request has left or was forced out. Or they just changed their minds once Covid became less prevalent. There are also laws regarding having employees in states where the company does not have a presence - that's why remote positions often list states that are feasible.
Any chance you could get your mother to move to where you are? My mom also lives in Florida and has been trying to get me to move since she had a serious health scare. But all the jobs are here in the NYC metro. Even if I went to Florida, she lives in the Villages and the closest big cities (Tampa and Orlando) are more than an hour's drive away. I'm trying to convince her to come here. The healthcare is better!
AnonymousJanuary 25,2024 at 8:15PM UTC
It is at their full discretion to approve or not, you need to understand that. You are not owed this.
misskelleypJanuary 25,2024 at 8:25PM UTC
The issue is that if you were to move to (and work from) Florida, the company would have to open several accounts with the State of Florida - a Department of Revenue account for any payroll taxes, a workers compensation account, an unemployment compensation account, etc., plus the company then opens the door to having to pay Florida business taxes if they have any customers in FL. People think it's the company being a jerk, but there's a lot of paperwork and hassle involved in having employees in multiple states. You could certainly speak to the CEO or COO, but that may not change anything. I suggest you either find a fully remote job, or find a job IN FL. Good luck. It's hard when our parents get old...
misskelleypJanuary 25,2024 at 8:26PM UTC
One other thing, if your company has an EAP (Employee Assistance Plan) contact them, they may have other ideas for you or be able to help in some way. EAPs are a very underutilized resource, and they're great!
AnonymousJanuary 25,2024 at 8:39PM UTC
If they aren't set up as an employer in FL, that's likely their hesitancy. Also, allowing one employee to be fully remote, but no one else....that leads to drama. If you go over the head of your manager and HR to the CEO or COO...not a good look. Perhaps consider applying or FMLA as well as maybe sharing the cost of additional help.
Kimberley Ferretti HammettJanuary 26,2024 at 2:51PM UTC
You are completely correct in your response and I just want to add my own thought on that.. as someone who works in HR and with a lot of high-level leaders, when I hear the reasoning behind disapproving something different from what they've done as "that leads to drama" but no other business reason is provided... to me that typically screams "our leaders don't know how to handle that situation and we haven't set up a culture that allows for open conversation and understanding."
I've seen multiple cases like this when remote work was denied even though it was as, and even more, productive simply because the management thought it wouldn't be viewed as fair and it resulted it drawn out resentment and eventually resignation that ended up being very costly. One particular case that still hasn't recovered the talent lost nearly 2 years later! The value of being able to communicate to a team that the decision to keep the talent on because it benefits the whole team is so so high! I don't know the OP to know that this would be the case here but just sharing that viewpoint.
Kimberley Ferretti HammettJanuary 25,2024 at 9:43PM UTC
Every company is a little different in terms of power dynamics but yes, the CEO, even your Manager may be able to override HRs decision. It sounds like you requested an accommodation, which is an official legally protected policy. So it's possible that request wasn't determined to qualify for that. I believe reasonable accommodation typically applies to the employees disability or religious needs, not extended to their family. FMLA covers time off for family care, but not remote work. These protections probably haven't caught up to current environments. But that doesn't mean your manager can't say your role is capable of being done remotely regardless of individual accommodation eligibility. They would just need the authority themselves, or the ability to convince whoever has authority to approve it.
I don't know a lot about your situation; like what type of role you do, how confident you are in finding another role or means to support your move, or relationship with your leadership, so please use your own discretion of what risks you're willing to take. Personally, though, I would have a discussion with my leader and outline the value I continue to provide, express that I am otherwise very happy and interested in continuing my employment with them and wouldn't say ask if I didn't think I was capable, however, my personal needs have changed and this is what I need to stay employed there so, what solutions could we come up with to ensure my family needs and the companies expectations were mutually met.
Unfortunately many orgs struggle to see the nuance in situations and have trouble budging on hard rules that ultimately block their end goals. So they may not do anything to keep you.
Others understand that and will justify doing something different when the situation warrants it. My mom went to her boss with her resignation when my dad (the main financial earner in the house) was laid off and offered an great opportunity in a new state but her boss said "well would you be willing to work from Texas and just fly in here a couple times a year?". She worked the next 4 years completely remote until my mom and her boss actually retired around the same time!
AnonymousJanuary 25,2024 at 9:51PM UTC
When requesting accommodations, it is for an individual's own personal health issues, disability, that sort of thing. Caring for a parent does not fall into that category.
AnonymousJanuary 26,2024 at 2:27PM UTC
100% correct!!!
AnonymousJanuary 26,2024 at 2:27PM UTC
SINCE WHEN is "Hey, I want to move to take care of my aging parent while my brother sleeps during the day" an "accomodation"...??? I think folks here are misunderstanding what an "accomodation" is----I think we need to re-align our thoughts regarding this.
Kimberley Ferretti HammettJanuary 26,2024 at 2:37PM UTC
... I said that it wasn't a qualifying accommodation..
AnonymousJanuary 26,2024 at 9:44PM UTC
She's asked for an accommodation, but I don't believe this is a legally required type of accommodation (as opposed to a disability accommodation for an employee with a disability.)
The employer may need to accommodate Family Medical Leave, but I don't think they are required to accommodate a remote work request because the employee needs to provide care to a family member.
AnonymousJanuary 25,2024 at 11:29PM UTC
If you feel like it would be worth a meeting, take the request to tge CEO or COO to see if they might consider an exception.
AnonymousJanuary 26,2024 at 1:41PM UTC
it sounds like your brother doesn't work... and you are thinking about quitting your job .... let that SINK in.
AnonymousJanuary 26,2024 at 5:26PM UTC
Yeah, he’s a night owl because he has a job or he just likes to stay up late playing video games and he can “watch”. That’s what I read into it. I may be wrong.
Luis MottaJanuary 27,2024 at 1:59PM UTC
Why not ask a question and lead with curiosity instead of potentially judgmental or erroneous assumptions about whether the brother works or not?
AnonymousFebruary 6,2024 at 10:09PM UTC
Because it's a form of social media and being judgmental is the new norm.
Luis MottaJanuary 27,2024 at 1:59PM UTC
That was never mentioned in the original post. I don’t know why people are making up their own facts when the facts were already presented.
AnonymousJanuary 26,2024 at 1:41PM UTC
talk with HR in person. There are tax issues, employment issues etc. Your address will now become Florida and for them to pay you, they may be required to establish an office. So just have an honest conversation to understand their concern and reasoning.
AnonymousJanuary 26,2024 at 2:05PM UTC
tax implications and all that other HR jazz is just bunch of baloney.
At my previous job, they let a manager move to Texas for no other reason than just wanting to "move back home" to Texas and this was about 9 months before Covid when remote work wasn't even a thing. They even paid for the her virtual office and flew her back and forth to office on company expense.
so it's all about who you are and who you know.
sounds like you have a legit reason. I would talk to your manager.
AnonymousJanuary 26,2024 at 2:41PM UTC
All well and good. And maybe they (the company) did it legitimately or not or didn't understand what they needed to do. Were they already set up as an employer in Texas? Did they take that step? Perhaps they really saw this manager as valuable and did whatever they could to keep her.
AnonymousJanuary 26,2024 at 4:40PM UTC
Disagree, this is a situation different from state to state. Many companies are set up in the states they allow employees to remotely work from. We went 100% remote over covid and were based in California, our HR team worked very hard to set us up in other states. We were given a list of states you could move to and it didn't include all of them.
AnonymousJanuary 27,2024 at 6:28PM UTC
Exactly! Companies can set up virtual office for remote employees where they do not operate or have an office in. It all depends on the flexibility and budget, culture of the company so it’s really not a one size fits all.
AnonymousJanuary 26,2024 at 2:12PM UTC
The company would need to take steps to be authorized with the state of Florida to have employees in Florida, even if you're remote (for Florida taxes/withholding and labor laws). If the company is not willing to set up this arrangement in Florida just for you, then you may need to look for another job.
AnonymousJanuary 26,2024 at 2:24PM UTC
HR's response is reasonable. If your job description requires part time "in office" ...and they don't have an office in Florida...then you are basically asking your employer to change your job to fully remote. Do you see that? And it's NOT UNREASONABLE AT ALL for your employer to respond and say "Sorry, this is not a fully remote job".....They were super nice and understanding when your mother was acutely ill last August (be thankful for that!)-- but that's not the norm. They were gracious because it was a short term problem. The company cannot change job expectations and descriptions for ONE PERSON (you). You asked, they said no...now the ball is in your court. This sounds like a nice place to work and you've got a good gig going on....Instead, I would consider taking Vacation days here and there to help your brother....going for a week or long weekend at a time. Your brother and you might also consider hiring a home aide to "watch" your mom while brother sleeps. Or, you can find something else that's fully remote- UP TO YOU.
AnonymousJanuary 26,2024 at 10:47PM UTC
If the job COULD be done remotely during covid to avoid inconveniencing the company by requiring them to close for "lockdowns" it CAN be done remotely. It's ridiculous and unreasonable to not permit people to work remotely.
Veronica BentonJanuary 28,2024 at 9:35PM UTC
It is NOT unreasonable. What is unreasonable is for people to act entitled without having the slightest understanding or knowledge on the implications of setting up in another state.
AnonymousFebruary 6,2024 at 10:07PM UTC
What's unreasonable is all the RTO for people who can work remotely for the sake of corporate real estate. It's not entitled to make a case for practicality.
AnonymousJanuary 26,2024 at 3:46PM UTC
While I agree that this is a reasonable accommodation (I think companies should allow more grace for caring for parents/children, but that's a whole other conversation), I have a question: why is your mother's care falling on you when your brother is right there? I presume that she moved in with him for the exact reason that she needs care, and, unless he's working nights, he's shirking the duties he agreed to.
I think before you try to go around HR to the chiefs, you should have a very frank discussion with your brother. And if he's not willing to step up, maybe you have to pay for care until you can find another remote job, or at least a job where your mother lives that will allow you to only be a few minutes away should something happen.
AnonymousJanuary 27,2024 at 1:31PM UTC
My dad is battling cancer and I live out of state. I can say that the pressure on my sister to be his caregiver is immense. Just because she lives by him, should all of it fall on her? I am in the same spot as the OP and have to work in the office 2 days a week and try to fly up when I can to relieve some of the burden on my sister who also has a job and a life.
AnonymousJanuary 27,2024 at 6:22PM UTC
Wishing you the best with your Dad's situation, cancer sucks and I hope he can make it through and your family and you can get the support you need.
Amanda HaasJanuary 27,2024 at 11:03PM UTC
The good thing, a lot can be done remotely. At one point I have had to call a victim advocate to discuss options my stepdad had against his partner who was being violent. Grocery delivery, some banking, and arranging appointments could help take off that weight.
AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 5:59PM UTC
I’m definitely not saying it should all fall on her brother, because yes, caregiving is an enormous job (also been there, also live out of state). However, from the info given, it sounds like he’s not doing anything at all except having their mother live with him. Which is fine, but it sounds like she needs more care than that.
I just think it would be worth having a conversation with him to see if they can come up with a better care plan before she takes it to her superiors and maybe loses the job because companies give zero shits about anyone.
Amanda HaasJanuary 27,2024 at 11:01PM UTC
I second this! OP is being pulled and trying to be the “good daughter” and fill in the gaps. It is not worth the stress assuming this position when somebody else is tasked for it. Plus, not talking about it can also create tension with brother and even the mother. Having a CNA or similar could definitely help.
AnonymousJanuary 26,2024 at 4:24PM UTC
This is a career site. Why are so many people commenting on her personal choice to take care of her mother? Has anyone considered she's already decided on this and WANTS to be there, regardless of her brothers ability? Give her advice on navigating the workplace dynamic or go.
Amanda HaasJanuary 27,2024 at 10:58PM UTC
This is many our futures and reflecting or even gaining some understanding of this person’s situation.
When you are torn to care for a person out of sacrifice of your comfort, it is hard not to get personal. I stayed in my hometown many years instead of moving away, despite the opportunity, to help care for my mom. I don’t regret staying (for the most part) but I was also behind in many ways.
AnonymousJanuary 26,2024 at 5:50PM UTC
I would do a few things. Get a doctors note regarding your mothers condition and get that and a well drafted letter explaining your situation as the main caregiver for your Mother (leave your brothers info out) and share the details of the strength of your work and commitment to the company in that documentation. Explain as well that the costs for paying someone to care for her if you don't do it are prohibitive and that you worry that you won't be able to afford your expenses if you can even afford someone else. Then share with them a few external resources that can help the company to offset and own as a 3rd party the relationship with you and the need to set up tax status in that state. There are 2 to recommend. One is called remote.com the other is deel. Both will take the need for any setup fees etc away from the company and will own the relationship with you and them going forward. It will solve the problem (and excuse) of taxes, etc. in Florida. The cost is nominal and you could offer for the company to take the cost out of your paycheck it is so small. Good luck and hope your Mother remains stable.
Luis MottaJanuary 27,2024 at 1:56PM UTC
Another reasonable and win-win solution.
maria roseJanuary 26,2024 at 7:26PM UTC
What I am getting is an assumption by the OP that going fully remote will be acceptable to their current work position. They have received a notice from the current job's HR that the Florida location is unacceptable for their present job ( which is a hybrid position)because of the lack of a physical business office in Florida. Nothing was said about the individual losing their present position (hybrid work) even if they moved to Florida but couldn't do it as a fully remote job. If the goal of this individual is to be in a fully remote position, then they have to face the reality that the present job will not accommodate them based on the information given and there's no discrimination issue here. There are two paths ahead of this individual--one, move to live in Florida as a caretaker for their parent and look for another position that is a fully remote job, and the second option is to continue at the present job while making arrangements to get to the office ( travel) on the required days while living full time in Florida. The adjustment would affect their lifestyle arrangements while keeping employed. The employee has decided to make the move to Florida and they can't expect the employer to radically change the job requirement if it can't be done, the employee has to move forward with another plan of action, since they have received the official decision from the present job.
AnonymousJanuary 27,2024 at 4:14PM UTC
Keep in mind that even if it is feasible for the employee continues to work their hybrid schedule from Florida. This is not as easy as it sounds because as soon as the employee changes their address they’ve already kicked off all the issues that of registering in the state. Working hybrid from another state is the same as working remotely from another state as far as all the hoops of setting things up. Hybrid is actually more complicated because income tax now needs to be accounted for in both states.
AnonymousJanuary 27,2024 at 12:52AM UTC
I can respect family and career. But family comes first IMO, especially for someone that raised you
Unfortunately, employers owe 0 obligation. If your mom was local, probably wouldn't matter.
For me-- family.
AnonymousJanuary 27,2024 at 1:19PM UTC
That's a tough situation, especially considering your brother is literally in the same house, so their schedules are the only issues.
I suppose it isnt possible for him/her to shift the hours a bit. You could maybe get an emergency panic that wakes him up if something happens whilst he is sleeping.
The employer situation I feel is dependent on the company itself, I've worked in companies that would refuse and those that would agree.
If you have a good relationship with the coo it could work, but may impact your relationship with your boss/other relationships. You could go to HR but first review your employment contract and also the company policy on family leave, remote work etc to see if there is support there. I suppose you would know best if it would be better to inform your boss first if you are going that route.
Best of luck! I hope you find a solution
Shayna CookeJanuary 27,2024 at 1:25PM UTC
Having one employee in a state where the company does not do business is actually costly and complicated for the company. Where ever a company hires an employee, there are state and federal requirements, taxes, liabilities, workers comp, unemployment, etc that need to be applied for and paid for by the company. Hybrid work situations and fully remote situations are different from a company perspective and while they support hybrid, they may not support remote as an option for employees for many reasons. Our company is the same, we have a 2 WFH/2IO set up for employees but do not support fully remote workers because it does not align with our mission/vision/values as they relate to connection, culture, and collaboration. We have been very clear about that with our employees so that there is not lingering "I wish we could be remote" ideals within the employee base. Some folks want fully remote because that works best for them and that's great, that's just not what we offer so we are not a good fit for them. Sounds like the OP company has the same philosophy so rather than trying to make the company bend to the will of the employee, seems that the energy should be spend on trying to find a fully remote job or a company in the Florida location for relocation.
AnonymousJanuary 27,2024 at 1:30PM UTC
I was in a similar situation, and I decided to leave the company and find a new one that was 100% remote. I was able to relocate and be closer to her.
I cannot tell you what to do but family comes first.
Luis MottaJanuary 27,2024 at 1:52PM UTC
Finally, someone with empathy offering sound and caring advice.
AnonymousJanuary 27,2024 at 1:30PM UTC
if your brother isn’t effectively providing care during moms awake schedule in Florida then mom should relocate to live in with you. You can find new doctors for her. Sounds like brother doesn’t even work! Or you can relocate to Florida and find another job. This is not your employers problem if they said no to fully remote then no means no.
Luis MottaJanuary 27,2024 at 1:51PM UTC
No doesn’t always mean no. Clearly nobody on here appreciates the nature of the situation and is automatically siding with the business for no justifiable reason. Negotiating for what we need in life is critical. If we don’t do it for ourselves then nobody else will do it for us.
AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 12:22AM UTC
I don't think anyone is "siding with the business", but many people are sharing with the OP the hard truth that the employer may have very good reasons they do not want to allow this option, and the OP has no legal right to require them to accommodate her request.
I think it's fine to ask, and even fine to escalate the request, but there is a risk they will terminate her employment if she pushes too hard after they've made their decision. That's not me siding with the company, it's the hard truth about how many companies act.
AnonymousJanuary 27,2024 at 1:34PM UTC
As other posts indicate, businesses must be licensed in a state to withhold taxes for employees who reside in that state. Some states require a physical location in that state, others allow businesses to maintain employees in a state without a physical location, whichever the case the cost is prohibitive to allow this
AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 1:26PM UTC
Florida doesn't require it. She is hybrid so she can go in quarterly. I have an ex who works for new England non profit and moved to Florida. He flies in quarterly to maintain hybrid status. Works 1 week. Must pay for his living and airfare himself and takes care of his dad who has cancer.
AnonymousJanuary 27,2024 at 1:35PM UTC
(a) Your employer doesn't owe you anything. You got your answer from HR, who most likely spoke to someone in upper management about your ask, with an explanation. Pushing your ask up the chain would not be a good look, and will harm your career/relationships with HR and the leadership team.
(b) If you're so concerned about your mother, then why are you looking to your employer to accommodate you? Why have you not simply quit and moved to Florida to be with your mother? Is your job more important than your mother?
Luis MottaJanuary 27,2024 at 1:49PM UTC
As someone who used to work in HR for many years at some of the world’s largest companies, I have to say that this is probably the worst and most unempathetic advice I’ve ever seen.
Beth - Please completely ignore this advice and continue to push for what you need, regardless of what HR has already said. You are your own best advocate in this situation, so if that means going further up the chain to get what you need, then by all means you need to do that. If your employer can’t give that to you then you might need to start looking for employment elsewhere with an organization that can accommodate your personal needs.
For the “Anonymous” poster giving advice, your comment about putting one thing (the need to work) against another (the need to take care of family) is essentially a zero sum game. Nobody should be expected to choose between taking care of family and working to make a living. The two can and should definitely go together without needing to choose between one and the other.
Veronica BentonJanuary 27,2024 at 6:47PM UTC
I hope the OP can find a solution. I work for a business in which we have had employees relocate to other states and setting up as a company in other states is pretty darn expensive. We recently had an employee request accommodation to move out of state but we had no justification to be set up in the state he was moving to so his request was denied (even though he was a great employee).
There are laws in place for situations like this such as FMLA. It may just be a temporary solution but between FMLA and other state benefits, maybe the OP might find a working solution. I agree that negotiating is important, but there has to be a win-win solution for both the company and employee.
AnonymousJanuary 27,2024 at 2:07PM UTC
Wow. This comment turned condescending REAL fast. Maybe you have the luxury of just up and quitting your job and not worrying about how you plan to live afterwards; most of us do not. Be kind. This comment was not it.
Angela Mackie-RutledgeJanuary 27,2024 at 4:40PM UTC
That's a bit harsh. Here's how I would rephase your blunt compassionless response:
"Unfortunately, it is likely that it's not within the purview of HR to find a solution to this issue; especially when the proposed solution means extra time and expense for the company. For them, this isn't a win-win situation, even though your circumstances are compelling. Of course, you could take the matter to the CEO, but they are likely to support HR, and in turn this may damage your relationship with HR. Perhaps a better solution would be to consider FMLA or find a position in Florida that is in close proximity to your mother. These are tough decisions and I'm sorry you're going through this."
If it were me, I would write a grievance letter to HR and ask for a review of the decision. I would get advice from a lawyer first. There's a website that discusses formal grievances, however, it's British. The laws are different - but not that radically different. It's worth checking out. It's called formal grievance dot com. I have no affiliation with them but I have used their grievance letters for work -- with success.
AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 12:18AM UTC
I'm not aware of a grievance process for private employers in the US--only for unionized jobs. Employment laws are very different in other countries, and I would caution that filing a grievance in a US employment situation that does not have a formal grievance process could end up in simply being terminated.
AnonymousJanuary 27,2024 at 4:47PM UTC
Wow, what a horrible reply. I hope you are not in HR. If so, you are what's wrong with the current work world.
AnonymousJanuary 27,2024 at 3:31PM UTC
People who do not work in HR think working remotely from another state is easy when you don’t have an HR person that is knowledgeable of state, and sometimes local, laws and ordinances.
Things that HR has to consider to add a state: workers comp, sick leave requirements, health insurance, setting up all the require taxes, splitting taxes between state if you are required to work from your home office periodically, travel expenses to home office (taxable if living there for employees personal convenience vs business needs) , do you continue to receive the same salary if you’re currently in a higher cost of living area, etc. On top of additional costs there are a lot of legal considerations. Considerations that could change so how does the company stay on top of it for one individual? It is not uncommon for employers that do not have business needs to not be multi state, and well within their rights to say no because once they say yes to one person that opens up the floodgates. We no longer allow employees to work remotely outside of state, even if we are registered in the state, unless there is a business need for their particular position to be based at the location of the requested move. Exceptions may be reviewed if they meet the criteria: we do not think we can hire someone to do the work from the home office location, if the employee leaves, and there is a business need for the position to be based at the requested location. Our chain of request is manager, and if the request meets requirements, it moves forward to HR, legal then executive team. We are hybrid. Other things that we consider that are unwritten in the policy are performance and is there some requirements for the job that can only be done on the days that the employee is in the office or does someone else now need to cover? It can be minimal, but a regular thing.
AnonymousJanuary 27,2024 at 4:31PM UTC
I wish this was an automatic yes, unfortunately as others have said, due to different laws/tax requirements, a temporary workplace adjustment to take care of a family member for a few weeks is different than a permanent move that would have different tax implications, etc.
I wish you luck with your decision!
Veronica BentonJanuary 27,2024 at 4:45PM UTC
I am an HR professional and I will tell you that it is not that simple. You relocating to Florida from another state would mean that the company would have to set up in Florida as a company and pay any and all company taxes (including payroll taxes). This is an additional expense for the company so if they have no need for an office there, they have every right to say “no”.
You might be better off applying for FMLA.. maybe ask your HR department for an alternative accommodation.
AnonymousJanuary 27,2024 at 5:00PM UTC
Possibly, one positive is working from Florida, the company does not have to pay state income taxes as there are none. They would only have to be concerned with Federal taxes.
Veronica BentonJanuary 27,2024 at 5:17PM UTC
I am not talking about taxes that the OP would have to pay, but taxes that the company would have to pay to the Florida Department of Revenue.
Such as corporate income taxes.
AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 1:23PM UTC
Again she's hybrid so how often she goes in can be stretched to quarterly without a tax.
AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 1:22PM UTC
There are alternatives. She can work in office quarterly. Meaning fly in every few weeks or up 3 months. That's actually what I have noticed while I did Bureau of Labor and Statistics data. The higher ups do this, so do many salaried employees, so anyone else could without this tax. It even works with non profits
RaulJanuary 27,2024 at 6:31PM UTC
Hi everyone, unfortunately, employer always has the upper hand unless you get a good labor relations, lawyer. These are crazy times we all have to agree with that. Naturally our family comes first we could always get another job so I don’t know how to say it it’s very difficult to be stuck in a place like that, could you possibly start jobhunting in the location that you’re moving to? There are appear to be lots of opportunities fully remote. I am one of those people seeking fully remote opportunities. I welcome your thoughts and comments on the best way forward. I feel your pain because it is hard to standby And watch a loved one suffer or to be in need.
ultimately, our job does not define who we are. We are the ones responsible for our lives. Money comes and goes and so do jobs we have to live with ourselves at the end of the day. I pray that you’re able to secure another opportunity you follow fails many blessings to you and your family, thanks.
AnonymousJanuary 27,2024 at 6:33PM UTC
Just curious...what would she do with a good labor relations lawyer in this specific situation?
AnonymousJanuary 27,2024 at 7:16PM UTC
This may not suit your situation, but is it possible for you to consult or freelance for the same company? This may not appeal to you because of less security, benefits, etc. And there may be state laws, employee contracts, cooling off periods, etc that make this nonviable. But it's is a common practice in my industry, not saying it's simple but it may be an option for you to look into.
AnonymousJanuary 27,2024 at 7:42PM UTC
Have you approached HR with a request for FMLA-Family Medical Leave?
That paperwork will protect your job for time to care for your Mom. This could free you up to seek employment in Florida.
Amanda HaasJanuary 27,2024 at 11:13PM UTC
This is a very hard situation and you being proactive and caring says enough about you. Taking a sacrifice before it is asked can take a huge toll on your health. I used to anticipate what my stepdad needed, because his MIL would call frantically. He would then tell me that he was fine. I decided that I needed to talk to him before acting on what MIL said. Honestly, having him more involved helped out so much. So include your mother in this discussion with your brother. I would also look for CNA help if it is feasible.
I had to learn the hard way that much of the support we give can be done virtually. As for your job, sometimes it’s just not the place. FMLA is a great thing to have. And give yourself a break. You have done more than enough.
AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 1:37AM UTC
Could you keep your primary residence and live in FL temporarily?
tbis may help alleviate the issue about paying taxes in FL from a company perspective? Idk ?‍♀️
AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 1:17PM UTC
Florida has no State individual taxes
AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 5:39PM UTC
No but the company is still required to pay taxes and fees in FL if they are employing someone there. It sounded by the response from the OP that the reason the company said no was because they didn’t have an “office” and didn’t want the hassle of setting up to pay another state.
Veronica BentonJanuary 28,2024 at 9:24PM UTC
Exactly this.
AnonymousJanuary 29,2024 at 7:07PM UTC
NO. you do not have to have a physical "office" in the state to allow an employee to live there temporarily pr permanently. where did you get this information from? are you in HR or a Employment lawyer?the OP wants to move and be with her mother during her last days, they can allow her to go remote if they wanted to, it has nothing to do with an office. it's all at the company's and management discretion
Anna DiomisJanuary 28,2024 at 5:40AM UTC
they wont allow u to do it and they r the employer. Why you trying to demand they do it? They denied it so that is not their problem anymore. Its not your own business to think you can determine that it has to be a yes. They have said no and have every right.
Charles Mills (Chuck)January 28,2024 at 1:30PM UTC
No need to be so touched about it. She has every right to an ear and voice within the company that feels her side of things. IF that happens to be a C Level ear then she may have exactly what she needs In that such an ear may very well be able to overule HR. Seek your ear madame and best of luck to you.
AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 1:31PM UTC
If you currently have a good job (and it sounds like good employers), I would definitely think twice about turning your life upside down to make this change. My mother passed over 20 years ago. At the time, I was a newlywed and both my husband and I were working VERY low paying jobs and struggling. He took on a second job, so that I could go out of state to help my siblings take care of mom. The understanding was that I would stay with her, and care for her overnight, so that I could find a day job. The other siblings would take day and evening. (One of them had no job.) Within two weeks of arriving, I suddenly was the only one there most of the time. It cost me money, my emotional well being, and nearly my marriage. Once I had enough and decided to go back home, guess who suddenly had the resources to get our mom a home health aide? One of my siblings! So, please, think carefully on this.
AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 1:45PM UTC
There are demonstrable benefits to working in person. Your employer values those or they wouldn’t have the policy. It is not fair to force a fully remote option, especially a permanent one, on a company that intentionally set a hybrid policy. You accepted the hybrid model as a term of your employment. You ought not bait and switch. Find a job in Florida or a fully remote job.
AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 11:10PM UTC
How is it "bait and switch" to have a medical issue with an elderly parent and wanting to be able to take care of them?
maria roseJanuary 30,2024 at 1:31AM UTC
I am assuming this is the OP of this post feed. You clearly stated that the job position that you were hired for was a hybrid position. Aside from the pandemic years which made many companies allow remote work, companies are returning to the work setup they prefer, which in your specific job situation is a hybrid job. You don't live in Florida, yet, but you have traveled there and were able to perform your remote work there. Your job requires you to be in the office also, but you now prefer to work in a remote position only, in other words, a different job than the one you were hired for. They did accommodate you by changing how you did your work requirements for some time under what could be called an FLMA program but they also clearly told you that wasn't going to be a permanent solution accommodation, which signals that you are reaching the point in the FLMA where you are no longer getting paid time accommodation. I can see them allowing you to stay on an FLMA which means your hybrid job position remains there, while you take on caretaker duties for your mother which your brother can't accommodate into his schedule but they are not obligated to give you a remote job position especially if they don't operate in Florida with an office. So the choice is yours at this point. I get the impression you want to permanently move to Florida and thought you could just transfer with your current job since you thought they switched you to a remote position during the pandemic, which also allowed you to help out with your mother's care, but they never changed your job position requirements. Think carefully about this choice. Can you handle it financially if you don't have the income from your current job, since they are not going to pay you to work remotely from Florida, all reasons given, ( they haven't fired you, yet), and have to find another job that allows you to work remotely in a brand new job while taking full-time care of your mother.
AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 1:54PM UTC
It sounds like you work for a great company. They gave you temporary flexibility while your mother was hospitalized. Companies can’t do something for one employee if they are not willing to do it for all employees.
AnonymousJanuary 29,2024 at 6:23PM UTC
Umm.. they have
Betty VandenBosch-WarrickJanuary 28,2024 at 2:23PM UTC
Are you in NY or another state that has family leave?
In NY you can take leave by the day. I would go to Florida and take family leave for 2 days a week. The days I'm supposed to be in the office.
That can get you through about half a year at 2 days a week. PTO time may get you through some more.
AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 5:10PM UTC
This is a very tough situation. Your mom needs you. Obviously company is not set up for remote staff in Florida. It has been suggested that you take FMLA to secure a new job in FL, please evaluate whether this is best for your situation as you will not be eligible for FMLA for 12 months after a job change, when you may need it most
AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 11:12PM UTC
I'm sorry this is so frustrating. You could potentially try to talk to the higher ups, I don't know. This echoes an issue that happened at my company YEARS ago (we're talking before remote work was a huge thing and certainly not something that happened where I was working).
Coworker's mother was ill, living in FL (company is in NY). She actually put in her resignation to move down there to be with her and the company stepped up to keep a good employee and set her up to be remote down there. She was a few years away from retirement and she worked in FL until she retired (her mom passed away soon after and I know she was forever thankful for being able to be with her in those last years).
I wonder if it's the hassle of having employees in other states (do they currently? or is that all new?). Perhaps you could revisit and discuss some more and see if there's something workable.
Heather HaalandJanuary 29,2024 at 12:09AM UTC
The company lawyer is probably the ultimate deciding factor to which states they want to follow employee laws for.
AnonymousJanuary 29,2024 at 2:44AM UTC
Your company might not be set up tax-wise to deal with having employees that work the majority of their hours in Florida. You stated you were able to work from Florida for a month, that doesn't make you a resident there that would then incur Florida tax laws and such.
I live in Hawaii and interviewed for a remote job. It went great, they offered me the position, then HR came in and said that they're unable to employ me because their company isn't set up for taxes in my state.
AnonymousJanuary 29,2024 at 2:10PM UTC
gosh, it sounds to me like they have accommodated you when they could, and now you're coming back asking for more. I don't mean to sound harsh but I'm in HR and can't tell you the number of times we have worked with an employee to help them manage their personal obligations, such as you describe, as well as be a productive employee or team member only to get asked for more and more as time passed. The first time they are told no, suddenly, the employee feels entitled to special treatment. I am sorry you are going through this with your mother and hope you are able to relocate and find a job that allows you the free time you need to assist her.
AnonymousFebruary 1,2024 at 1:52PM UTC
Yikes. You work in HR? Scary! The employee is *legally entitled* to ask for accommodations for any number of conditions, even conditions that occur simultaneously.
AnonymousFebruary 1,2024 at 5:34PM UTC
I do work in HR and have for many years. I am fully aware of how ADA works. I wasn't referring to legitimate ADA sanctioned accommodations as she does not state the accommodation she received was something she applied for with supporting documentation. Sometimes accommodations can be made between an employer and employee on good faith. That was my assumption when I replied. This site is starting to feel like Facebook.
AnonymousJanuary 30,2024 at 1:46AM UTC
I am very sorry that you need to consider finding a new job on top of what is already a very stressful situation. Similar to what a few others said below, when your primary work location moves to a state in which your employer is not already registered as employer, there are compliance/tax/legal requirements that come with approving an employee request to transfer to that location. In addition to appropriate employer tax contributions at the state level, there may be certain employee benefits or protections that are specific to that state that would need to be monitored and complied with. A temporary visit of 30 days or less is generally not a liability concern. However, requirements are different by state so it is safest and most typical for organizations to take the approach that your company did (i.e., flexible short periods and/or where there are existing or planned operations). Best wishes to your family.
AnonymousFebruary 1,2024 at 1:56PM UTC
look at the JAN website when asking for accommodations. Indeed, it may be a tax thing as max time you can live in another place is 3mo the, I think.
Have you considered taking unpaid FMLA to be with your mom while you look for a new job in FL? FMLA covers “taking care of a family member.” It’s listed as one of the options. I’m not sure if short term disability covers caring for someone else. But some places allow up to 26 weeks and pay up to 60% of salary. It might be worth it to “have a break” while still employed so that you still have your benefits while you look for a new job in Florida.