What is the best approach when working with someone who has a mean insecure personality?

Anonymous

October 18,2023 at 3:30PM UTC

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What is the best approach when working with someone who has a mean insecure personality? My organization has an employee who was hired on after being a contractor, the position has gone to his head and now this individual is emotionally shredding all the contractors. This is the person who claims to know everything, and is often times far off the path. He doesn't like women engineers--especially me, because I am working on my doc in engineering. He is the kind of person who tries to rally a gang of people against one person and smashes them. Additionally, he knows how to gaslight... he does it well, and he does it often.

Often I respond to him with a "thank you" when he tries to throw me under a bus or points out something that really doesn't matter.

Unfortunately, there is no HR to go to: he's an employee and I along with 8 other people are contractors.

I welcome your thoughts and suggestions.

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KatOctober 18,2023 at 7:38PM UTC
Don't renew your contract or ask for a very large raise when it's time to renew. Have you talked to the boss (company president or whoever this guy answers to) about the situation? If you've brought it up and nothing gets done, then you need to consider if you want to continue working with this company in the future. If you don't, then start looking for other contracts to make up for the income lost after this one ends.
AnonymousOctober 18,2023 at 9:19PM UTC
That is hard. I think I would lay low and find something else if you are not emotionally attached to the job. It depends on what you have invested. Is it worth it to stay?
AnonymousOctober 19,2023 at 5:20AM UTC
This person must live in a hole! Lots of women engineers out there! Heck! If I only had the correct guidance in school, I might have been one. I worked for engineering firms with 1 or 2 women engineers in geothermal projects. It's an interesting field to me. Don't give up. Maybe look else where? I have also worked around contractors that must be starving as they ALWAYS found ways to tell the permanent employees how to do their jobs. Management never did anything about it. Gaslight him back if you can. I only recently learned of this and am tempted to learn how to do it! As it seems to be present everywhere!