Thoughts on Nepotism?

26 Comments

1. Colleen HansonJanuary 26,2024 at 7:31PM UTC

   My former employer hired his son to come in and "look for a job". He was literally paying him under the table, while his son was collecting unemployment, to come into the office and look for a job (that is all he did). I was the Office Administrator and was asked to scan and email his son's resume to various places as well as help him with anything he needed. It was ridiculous! His son was an entitled jerk who treated me like I was his personal servant. I found out from another employee this had been a constant problem over the years. I eventually turned them both in to the state for unemployment fraud and I left the company.

2. AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 2:21PM UTC

   It kills me that Admins do so much of the actual office work for so little pay while Executives do so little for six figures, but this is horrifying. I can't even imagine not sabotaging that entitled monster.

3. AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 4:53PM UTC

   As a career admin professional, I am constantly amazed by the amount of bs work we are tasked to do… and as commented by the other anonymous at 9:21am, we are always one of the least paid. I applaud you for turning your boss and company into the state for unemployment fraud! That must’ve felt good.

4. maria roseJanuary 26,2024 at 7:45PM UTC

   I get the fact that this nephew has issues with the type of job this company has--we are not given a full description of the type of jobs--but there is an obvious issue with this nephew who probably appears normal but does have issues learning new skills --again we are not given that information. But 2 wrongs don't make the issue right either. And that argument with the boss didn't help.

   If the goal of the family this must be a family-owned company) is to incorporate this nephew into the family business so he can be paid a salary, they need to assign a person in the company who understands his ability to learn the job or have a specific aid person hired to help him do the task together. That would eliminate frustrating the regular employees who don't get a free pass when they don't do the job. But because it is a family-owned company, they will more likely favor the family over the employees who are not. Again it falls to how much acknowledgment of this nephew's shortcomings is actually acknowledged and it will reflect eventually on the company's financial future.

   As to the OP of this post, apologize to the boss in a private conversation about your reaction but emphasize that if the goal is to train the nephew into a productive member of the company, there needs to be a better alternative than what has been used. You are certainly not volunteering since you can't do your job effectively to give the nephew the attention needed but could offer to help find a position in the company that the nephew could perform adequately.

5. AnonymousJanuary 26,2024 at 9:04PM UTC

   It's the nature of family owned businesses.
   It is to be expected.

6. Regina BrownJanuary 27,2024 at 1:19AM UTC

   How does his job position interact with your job position?

7. AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 1:28PM UTC

   I went through this years and years ago, eventually filed a discrimination claim with the EEOC, this "Kid" took my title, and my office, and was the nephew of the owner. Did i win? yes, i did. Eventually. Also had to add a sexual discrimination case in there as well. Did i get rich? No. Did my lawyer ? No. It was all a case in principal for me and yes, it felt good to win. All depends though on your current circumstances.

8. AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 2:22PM UTC

   I worked for a family-owned business for 10+ years, and all of the owner's children worked there. One worked from home because she had kids (no other employee was allowed to work from home, even single parents). The other was the VP and an utter @$$ who screamed at EVERYONE, and the third was the HR director, who knew nothing about HR and physically assaulted me and a few other people.

   It was awful because you couldn't tell them or their mom (the owner) anything. Finally, the receptionist confronted the mother, who claimed her kids told her the employees were stealing from her and not working. Guess who she believed?

9. AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 2:44PM UTC

   You have an opportunity to make a difference and try to help this kiddo grow up and learn. I say if you can get something out of it such as a reduced work load while training him and run with it. You overstepped and put your job and professional reputation at risk when you spoke to your boss about your personal opinion and assumptions about their parenting style and their child’s abilities.

10. AnonymousJanuary 29,2024 at 7:33PM UTC

    I respectfully disagree with your thoughts that I was "overstepping". There was nothing mentioned about his parenting style and/or personal opinions shared. The "kid" in question is about to be 29, he is solely responsible for himself. (This should also include getting his own job.)

    I kept all of the personal things I know about him and their home-life out of the conversation entirely, mentioning them would have made the conversation unprofessional + unfounded.

    I based the conversation on experiences with him, and the reports from his previous supervisors here, some people can legitimately not handle "the truth" - especially if family is involved.

11. April LineJanuary 28,2024 at 2:51PM UTC

    I Fully understand and sympathize with your rage feelings.

    But kinda how you can't talk about somebody else's mama, your concerns, however well-founded, about your boss's kid are landing for him as personal insults and indictments of his parenting, both of which are dangerous to your hope of keeping your job, especially if your boss is the kinda hothead who storms off slamming doors when crossed!

    If i were you, i'd let it go. Be decent to the kid, but don't put in any special effort.

    Your refusal to train him isn't going to impact your boss's decision to hire him, and from where i sit, it looks like an untrained person would just make your life more difficult, wouldn't it?

    Also--how old is this person? If they are a teenager it's possible they will mature and do better with the passage of time and acquisition of maturity. The 5 months since the last try could make a huge difference in, say, a 17 year old.

    My former boss's 14-y-o worked with us. We agreed it'd be best if I trained and managed her. She was impossible to deal with. She wouldn't take feedback. She got bossy with the other (more experienced) staff bc she felt like she could be. He would not agree to take action until she insisted on working the cash box and we ended up with $600 in cash on a day we should've had $1200.

    Even then, we "demoted" her, called her an intern, and lowered her payrate, but didn't terminate her, even tho anyone else would have been. Eventually, she stopped wanting to come to work and i stopped scheduling her, so that was lucky. So it goes with 14-year-olds. Were i still in that position when that kid is 16 or 17, i would absolutely give her another shot, not that it would be my call.

    Anyhoo, yes, nepotism is real and probably there's not too much you can do about it. So learn from it, not how to fix it, but how to navigate a difficult situation it's likely you'll be in again while maintaining your own calm and sanity.

12. AnonymousJanuary 29,2024 at 7:23PM UTC

    He is about to turn 29, without any long-term job under his belt, lives with his parents, and couldn't even sign for his own car last summer...

    I would actually be open to giving a teen a shot, because we all have to start somewhere.

13. AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 5:18PM UTC

    Our thoughts are irrelevant, I would suggest that your boss's swearing at you, marching off and slamming the office door behind him is far more concerning. I would suggest you consider talking to the legal dept if there is one or HR and express your concerns. His behavior irrespective of his son is toxic and unacceptable. You shared your concerns and if he is the top of the pole the only other option is to look for another position. Ask him the next time you speak to him to allow you the space to share your opinion and to not be berated for it, and to feel safe.

14. misskelleypJanuary 28,2024 at 5:39PM UTC

    If the boss is in a position to hire his son this many times, likely he owns the company, so going to legal or HR (if they even exist at this company) will do you ZERO good.

15. AnonymousJanuary 29,2024 at 7:18PM UTC

    I'm third in line from the "top", it goes - Owner, General Manager (whose son is being given a job), then Operations Manager (me). I do 99% of the HR since we are small (under 50 total employees). The least I can say positively without a doubt - is that there is zero chance of the company being handed to him.

16. misskelleypJanuary 28,2024 at 5:38PM UTC

    You will not win this battle. Either give a zen like oooohhhhmmmmm and let it roll off your back, or find another job. The boss will give his son every chance, and you just can't win. If you can't ignore, you have to go. I repeat, there is no winning this one. He will ALWAYS choose his son. Sucks, but that's life. Sorry.

17. AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 10:33PM UTC

    This sounds ilke the epitome or a toxic environment and neopotism. You are not going to change your boss of his son. You can make nice with the son and work with him as best as you can with this realization or polish up your resume and look elswhere.

18. AnonymousJanuary 29,2024 at 1:05AM UTC

    Yuck - sounds like a toxic situation

    100% agree… nepotism at its finest.

    being that the owners kid seems incompetent- if the owners intent is to eventually hand the business to them - it will only take a short while for it to fail.

    This job market sucks - but if it were me, I’d just keep your head down, do your work, don’t rock the boat, only do what is needed and spend your energy looking for a better job.

19. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJanuary 29,2024 at 2:35AM UTC

    You will never win a battle with a nepo baby.

20. AnonymousJanuary 29,2024 at 4:58AM UTC

    Yikes - not a fun position to be in :(.

    Unfortunately, this is a losing situation for everyone. If the son keeps getting rehired despite quitting/being fired, then company is stuck with him until the boss (his Father) gets fed up or someone higher up get fed up.

    I had this situation once when the VP of HR called me and said the CEO's son would be working in our facility starting the following Monday. I was told he would not require a background check and to put him in one of our clerical departments at a fairly heft salary.

    The guy showed up to orientation and told me that I needed to complete his forms for him including his tax and benefit information. When I told him I was not able to do that he said I needed to call his Dad's executive assistant to get the information. I pushed back which made him very angry and he left orientation to "make the call himself".

    The department we were told to place him in started working at 7 AM. He never showed up until close to 9 AM and took many breaks throughout the day. He also parked his Porsche in our visitor lot even though we told him he had to park in the employee lot. The employees in the department were frustrated and the manager was livid that the son was Teflon.

    It all worked in the end because the work was not what he wanted to do, and he quit on his own and stayed gone. I expressed to the VP of HR my frustration however I was told that it was just the way it was.

    Maybe your boss will wise up in the end. Good luck!

21. AnonymousJanuary 29,2024 at 5:43PM UTC

    Nepotism exists but in this situation, You are powerless to do anything unless you want to leave your job... Think about that

22. AnonymousJanuary 29,2024 at 8:38PM UTC

    One of the many reasons why I will never work for a 'family-owned business' again. The nepotism, the different standards, the easily fired position when a family member needs a job. NOPE, NOPE, NOPE.

23. Balanced372207January 30,2024 at 1:31PM UTC

    You can't win. Start looking for another job.

24. Linda EavensJanuary 30,2024 at 1:53PM UTC

    Our CEO hired his wife and gave her an upper management position she had no experience or education for. It turned the otherwise wonderful place to work into a 3 ring circus. They both werd removed by thd board of directors s few years later. Not soon enough to prevent a complete staff turnover. It should not be allowed in my opinion unless its a family owned and operated business, then you know what youre walking into when your hired

25. JamieFebruary 2,2024 at 1:59PM UTC

    You mentioned Boss, but is he the Owner? Is there someone above him?

    My Boss hired their daughter and her boyfriend. They created a toxic work environment. I went above my boss and they finally brought in a consultant who evaluated everything and they demoted the boss and said the "kids" had to go. All three quit.

26. Susan L H SmithFebruary 2,2024 at 3:08PM UTC

    It all depends on the business. My late husband employed me as well as our two sons (never at the same time) in his law office. Near the end, he had two people plus my youngest working for him. In my opinion, he was harder on family members than the others, probably because thought we wouldn't quit-which we all did!