Women with ADHD, what are you up to?

26 Comments

1. AnonymousAugust 17,2023 at 8:17PM UTC

   So first of all...while presenting symptoms since high school, I wasn't officially diagnosed (and subsequently treated/prescribed meds) until I was about 40...when my daughter was 1 (she is now 12 and she herself diagnosed a few years ago).

   It's been a struggle for me...especially pre-diagnosis. Mine is inattentive. If something doesn't catch my interest, I will quickly check out. I need variety. I half joke that my job (corporate HR manager) is more ADHD than me...but it needs to be or I'd be bored.

   I'm very open with my diagnosis. Partly because along with my diagnosis comes some quirks and some understandings of working with me that people need to understand my ADHD to understand how I work. If I have to hide that part of me, I can't be my true, authentic self.

   I have noticed over the last several months now that the disability question on applications now include neurodivergencies including ADHD.

   Some of the biggest struggles attributed to ADHD, for me, including RSD and imposter syndrome. I really struggle with rejection (which was emphasized the first part of 2022 when I found myself in a full time job search for four months). I also struggle with self-confidence and truly believe I can do the job (when in fact I can and the longer I have been at my current organization, the more I know I can and know more about HR than my colleagues).

2. Cindy GloverAugust 18,2023 at 12:21AM UTC

   Oh my gosh! You nailed it when you said if something doesn’t grab your attention you check out - I didn’t realize it until you just said it. Man oh man

3. Cindy GloverAugust 18,2023 at 12:23AM UTC

   And as I read on……I could have written that. Hugs to you for sharing this- I know that’s not easy but it says a hell of a lot about YOU ❤️

4. AnonymousAugust 17,2023 at 9:06PM UTC

   I am a C-level executive at a tech company with ADHD.

   I am careful with how and what I disclose, as I am not asking for accommodations. I am more likely to disclose to female colleagues, especially those who I see struggle with perfectionism or RSD. My male peers think of ADHD as a hyperactive boy thing that you grow out of or struggle with for life.

   Some companies might be open to having this discussion with you when you are interviewing, but I have found more success opening up about it once I have proven myself at work.

5. Cindy GloverAugust 18,2023 at 12:20AM UTC

   I’m high functioning but I do take meds to help. Some days are better than others but it’s a constant struggle and sucks. Just absolutely sucks.

6. AnonymousAugust 18,2023 at 1:15PM UTC

   I’m an individual contributor in IT. I cannot take medication, so I just deal with it the best I can with strategies.

   I am Gen X and maybe that’s why, but I would not be comfortable disclosing as a candidate. There really aren’t any accommodations I need, so there would be no point, and I feel like it would make me sound high maintenance.

   On the other hand, I would definitely look for jobs that are ADHD friendly. Make clear that you are looking for a job that is fast paced with lots of a variety and new challenges every day. You don’t have to add “because otherwise, I will be bored and spend all day reading fanfiction because that’s more interesting”! They are interested in what you can do for them, so make sure you are pointing out the qualities in ADHD that make you a great employee (flexibility, creativity, great in an emergency, etc)

7. AnonymousAugust 20,2023 at 8:17PM UTC

   My apologies for jumping into this thread that the originator created, May I ask you what is the exact role that you have in IT? I am trying to pivot into Data Analyst or Front end developer. Really tough with my ADHD, lack of executive functions, and I'm 55. Thank you for reading this.

8. AnonymousAugust 18,2023 at 1:29PM UTC

   My best suggestion is NEVER to disclose a mental illness or disorder unless it requires an accommodation. The stigma attached to them only accentuates the negative side of the disease and never the positive. As one with PTSD, I have been through the wringer on this issue, as accommodations are difficult to explain to those who have not studied the disorder or had close contact with a family member with it. After a brain tumor and stroke, I developed ADD related to the brain injury (surgery) when the tumor was removed. I also developed seizures, and the ADD meds interfered with the anticonvulsant I was taking, so I have had to develop other ways to try and refocus when I find myself and my brain wandering in places it shouldn't be.

9. Erica MitchellAugust 18,2023 at 8:36PM UTC

   I have ADHD and I use it to my advantage, however I'm not informing anyone of this. Some people may not understand ADHD and not understand the benefits.

10. AnonymousAugust 18,2023 at 9:09PM UTC

    Thank you all for sharing and for supporting! I think I will continue to keep this as my secret sauce and win them all with my magic.

    good luck to you all ladies.

    p.s. It helped me a lot to lower ADHD symptoms after I went for some deep trauma healing sessions in therapy.

11. AnonymousAugust 21,2023 at 2:47PM UTC

    Those would be ADHD-like symptoms caused by something else, not ADHD symptoms per se. Therapy did nothing at all for my ADHD.

12. AnonymousAugust 19,2023 at 12:46PM UTC

    I’m a director of hr for a private equity firm. We deal with a lot of males in the industry I am in. A lot of investors. Etc.

    I found that it’s better that I don’t disclose it unless it’s so a colleague that has become a very close confidant or if I see others who are struggling that come to me. I don’t need any accommodations.

13. AnonymousAugust 19,2023 at 1:05PM UTC

    I work on the data side of advertising, and have casually mentioned it to a younger teammate at work who brought up their ADHD to me first (but would not recommend mentioning it to coworkers & especially not to those in leadership positions). My job tends to have either a ton going on at once or relative quiet and it seems to work well with my ADHD patterns (e.g., kick into overdrive when needed), but I find myself very prone to burnout over the last few years & have been progressively prioritizing work/life balance. If my ADHD symptoms start getting really bad, it’s a good indicator that something in my environment is not suiting me well and I need a change.

14. AnonymousAugust 19,2023 at 4:15PM UTC

    I worked in software development for many years. I can't deal with the inequities of corporate America anymore. At the age of 52 I have decided to make a pivot and go into counseling. I want to help neurodivergent people find their way in the world. I don't intend to disclose.

15. Lynn HolmgrenAugust 19,2023 at 4:50PM UTC

    Yea I am totally open about it. It’s an advantage in my role. I am a chief operating officer - female. I get bombarded with decisions and information that would fell a non adhd person. I write everything down and have learned lots of compensatory strategies.

    However, don’t be totally open in interviews because there is still a lot of bias out there…talk about your accomplishments and the attributes you have (because of adhd) but don’t put a label on it. I certainly I tell my coworkers — hey I don’t do long meetings… I set the standard of 30 min. If you want an answer, tell me if you want advice tell me…can’t pay attention …I hire detail people around me. I tell my staff that if I am off on a tangent just say “squirrel” it’s our code word!

16. AnonymousAugust 19,2023 at 6:08PM UTC

    Thank you! That’s awesome. Gives me hope :)

17. M BaazaAugust 19,2023 at 6:58PM UTC

    Would you care to share which compensatory strategies you have put in place; I just got to realize i have adhd way later in life....and I'm just trying to get strategies to help me out

18. Lynn HolmgrenAugust 20,2023 at 5:11PM UTC

    Written checklist, daily review weekly review, breaking things into smaller tasks- with small rewards. creative hobbies(gardening), rating my day emotionally on a 5 point scale. Meditation- I use the Aura app for sleeping on the hypnosis setting (good sleep is a must) yoga and walking. Scheduling breaks for myself and when I am having a bad day, I know tomorrow will be better…

19. M BaazaAugust 20,2023 at 6:19PM UTC

    Thank you, this is really helpful.....

20. Marquisha ThomasAugust 20,2023 at 2:33PM UTC

    ADHD over here! It took awhile to figure out what was truly best for me (not only because of the struggles, but I had so many interests). But I do love math and technology and have always been strong in that…but also very creative, impulsive, and my mind wanders quite a bit. So I landed on administrative and technology coordination for a nonprofit, and it’s been the best of all worlds. I get to use my creativity with some of the design stuff we do too! I used to work at Apple and learned a lot about utilizing technology, so I assist the team with any of their Apple questions for iPhone, iPad, and Mac (all of our technology is Apple-based, and pretty much would’ve been a dealbreaker for wanting to work there if they used other platforms). Also, with my love for math, I get to keep track of donations, which is apart of my administrative duties. And being a people person, I love getting to know all of our giving partners, and meeting new people by helping at events. I love being organized as much as possible, probably because we know if we are not overly organized, then things can get way ahead of us easier than others…having my own kiddos really helped me be more on time and prepared. What about you?

21. AnonymousAugust 20,2023 at 8:28PM UTC

    I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 52. While there's a temptation to share this with coworkers and managers in hopes of understanding, I've chosen not to. We live in a world where judgments are easily passed. Often, people casually say things like "sorry, I have ADHD" or "sorry, I have OCD." Since being diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD, and OCD, I've refrained from using these terms lightly, recognizing the real struggles they represent.

    I'm convinced that my challenges with Executive Function—a key aspect of ADHD—played a role in my being laid off. While I'm on medication for ADHD, it feels more like a temporary fix rather than a solution to the root issue.

22. AnonymousAugust 21,2023 at 2:43PM UTC

    If you really have ADHD, your "root issue" is ADHD!

    If your root issue is something else, you have symptoms resembling ADHD, so ADHD medication working is a bit odd.

    And it's possible to have ADHD plus something else, or symptoms resembling something else because of ADHD. I have had much less anxiety since starting ADHD meds, which I think it's partly chemistry and partly due to actually being able to be a participant in my life and exercise some control over what I do and what happens during the course of the day.

23. AnonymousAugust 21,2023 at 2:39PM UTC

    I shared it with my boss and she said she's been recently diagnosed!

    Unfortunately, a coworker who is a persnickety a-----e has made my life miserable because my flavor of neurodiversity means I learn best from my mistakes, and not from reading a boring manual. It's really hard to come to work every day knowing I could be called out by this jerk for any little mistake, even if it was due to simply not having encountered the situation before. My mistakes are in an area that's a small part of my job duties but a big part of his, so having a job duty requiring attention to detail was not an issue for me when I applied, but it's become an outsized issue because of his over reaction to any little thing. (and he makes plenty of stupid mistakes himself, but apparently he makes mistakes because he's human, and I make mistakes because I'm an idiot).

    Also, I moved to a state where it's harder to get meds, so my work has been good every month but October, April, and this week. Addicts have ruined a useful medication for the rest of us!

24. M BaazaAugust 21,2023 at 8:53PM UTC

    So, how do you deal with the attention to detail? How do you navigate that?

    I' have all the symptoms so been trying to find ways to navigate

25. Melissa SharkisAugust 21,2023 at 5:58PM UTC

    I was diagnosed later in life - I put the pieces together two years ago and was officially diagnosed last year. I’ve been very open about it, but I’m lucky to have a supportive manager and safe work environment. I probably wouldn’t be as open if that wasn’t the case.

    I wasn’t aware I had ADHD during the hiring process for my current job, but I probably wouldn’t have disclosed it at that point if I was. I already knew my job could be primarily remote if I wanted and that our schedule was flexible, which I’ve since figured out are my two biggest needs, so I wouldn’t have been in a position where I’d need to request accommodations. Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever apply for a job where those two options aren’t already available.

    I like being open about it because I feel like it helps “normalize” neurodivergence. It’s okay if some of us need to work a little differently, and not all of us have the same needs. Working remotely with a flexible schedule works great for me, but it could be an absolute nightmare for others. How can we ever be happy and successful at work if we can’t express what we need to get there? I realize not everyone has the luxury of being open at work, and I’m lucky to work for an organization that genuinely cares about its employees’ wellbeing. I think the question of whether to be open at work is deeply personal, influenced by a person’s work environment and their level of comfort being open.

    As for your question about highlighting your ADHD as a benefit, I’d focus on highlighting the specific skills you have that you think are beneficial to the position without mentioning they come from your ADHD. Most people, unfortunately, have a myopic view of ADHD, and won’t get your point. For example, I know I’m a beast in a crisis and not easily overwhelmed. I also know this is primarily due to my ADHD and the fact a crisis is pretty much the only time my brain is stimulated enough to just work. People who don’t have, or aren’t deeply familiar with ADHD aren’t going to make that connection. I’d focus on finding ways to highlight your ADHD-related skills on your CV without mentioning their source.

26. Katheryn MAugust 28,2023 at 1:03PM UTC

    I am a social worker and therapist who does individual and group therapy for a day program for people with mental illness. I struggle to be honest about my ADHD because it may make colleagues/ supervisors look at me in a more negative light or see me more subjectively. I am pretty open about it, but sometimes it is hard. However, I feel like most of the time my disclosure has made me either more relatable or gives an explanation of some of my behaviors.