Currently I am employed with some people asking where i live.

15 Comments

1. Heather (she/her)October 12,2023 at 10:41AM UTC

   No one should be expected to share private information at work if they're not comfortable doing so.

2. AnonymousOctober 12,2023 at 11:38AM UTC

   Id say "why do you ask?".

   You owe them nothing

3. AnonymousOctober 12,2023 at 11:53AM UTC

   Not so weird to ask, find it odd you're offended by a simple question. If you feel it's connected to a news situation just find a very kind way of responding and not being offended. I think people think things are really bigger than they are.

4. AnonymousOctober 12,2023 at 11:58AM UTC

   It's your preference.

5. Cam DunsonOctober 12,2023 at 12:40PM UTC

   It’s very likely they’re just making conversation. You could give a vague answer like the city or state, depending on where people are coming from.

6. AnonymousOctober 12,2023 at 12:46PM UTC

   You don't have to tell them your address, you could give a general area of town. OR say I prefer not to say at this time. They may not mean anything by it except getting to know you.

7. AnonymousOctober 12,2023 at 1:01PM UTC

   Are they demanding your exact address? Otherwise it just sounds like small talk and they potentially may just be trying to include you in a conversation. Beyond that, is there a reason you’re concerned about them knowing where you live? Do you really think they’re going to care that much to come find you? This seems a wee bit paranoid.

8. Melissa DawnOctober 12,2023 at 1:07PM UTC

   This is a simple question to answer without giving any real information. "I'm about 40 minutes north of here. Commute is pretty terrible some days, could be as long as an hour"

   I think most people talk about this as a way to make conversation without being overly intrusive. "How was your weekend?" "This weather has been crazy!"

9. Maggie StoneOctober 13,2023 at 12:56PM UTC

   I get this question all the time. Totally agree that a non-specific answer is appropriate. I would personally take this as their way to start a conversation or get to know you. I think it’s a normal get to know you question since they already know what you do. :). However, if they start probing into other areas, or won’t answer if you turn it around, feel free to set boundaries. No need to add fuel to the gossip mill.

10. Sarah StadtherrOctober 12,2023 at 1:57PM UTC

    Where I live we're very "neighborhood" delineated. I live in "Uptown". Folks live in Lowery Hill, Downtown and a whole list of areas within a metro area. Usually this question goes on to things such as "Oh, have you been to xxx? It's really good" or "Oh, we used to live there. Is xx still on the corner of x and Y?" Sometimes it IS about commuting. "Oh geez, there aren't good buses there - you must have to drive." Don't be so hypervigilant - they're not angling for a dinner invitation. :)

11. AnonymousOctober 13,2023 at 1:54PM UTC

    I mean, you could just say something like: "I live in Brooklyn." It will probably lead to "what neighborhood??" and then "ooooh, I love that neighborhood, is the italian place still on the corner of X and X?"

    It's generally a get to know you question, I wouldn't worry to much about it unless you're in Witness Protection. :)

12. AnonymousOctober 13,2023 at 1:55PM UTC

    This is common small talk at my company, especially since we're all in the office 3 days a week now. Mostly people just want to know how bad the commute is or they're interested because they grew up in that neighborhood, etc. I also live in a large metro area and work in a suburb that's not very close to my house so it's natural for people to ask.

13. AnonymousOctober 13,2023 at 7:03PM UTC

    Let people know that you are a very private person and prefer not to disclose. People can and will ask just about anything these days, discretion has gone out the window, but frankly keep it to yourself.

14. Shelby COctober 14,2023 at 2:53PM UTC

    Office gossip is never appropriate, but I don't think it will ever be stopped.

    I think that you are likely putting too much thought into it. It is likely small talk. Yet my years in security have taught me not to disclose more personal details than I am comfortable sharing. I would answer with anything from to "Uptown" to "Forty-five minutes from here and the commute is brutal. What is yours like?"

    Think of small talk like tennis. When they lob the ball towards you, you can hit it back or simply walk away. If you are an advanced player, you could throw in your own twist. "I live in Uptown about forty-five minutes from here. I decided on the location due to the current urban renewal. My Real Estate Broker said it would be a great investment. At least that is what I remind myself when I am in the car for an hour and a half each day. Have you tried any new restaurants you like recently?"

15. AnonymousOctober 14,2023 at 4:57PM UTC

    No, you are not putting a lot of thought into it. Do not tell them where you live. I worked in a small town in two different school districts. Two ladies from two different districts pretended to be a "friend." One wanted to carpool with me and I had a gut feeling that was going to bite me. It did. Both of these ladies when I wouldn't answer their text messages showed up knocking on my door. That is inappropriate to me. I don't care who says they were worried. No, they weren't. They were doing that to spread gossip back to the office. Do not expose anything about your life. You're being asked these things to be exploited. When your gut feels right about a person , then go with that , but you are questioning it so something is off. Don't be a fool like me. I didn't return to one of the districts and the girl called me non stop. I seen her staring me down at the grocery store and when I left she called twice. Its none of her business what I'm doing. I text her what did she want. She said she needed a friend and was hoping I can be one, but all she was asking was if I got a new job and if I was going to school. Nothing about her life. She was a certified manipulator. I have blocked her and the other one too. They don't care. End of the day they got what they wanted to share and spread. Their mission was accomplished. Sick minds! And that's the way the world is now.