I work in a retirement community and recently got promoted to Memory care I am a housekeeper there .Recently I accepted a tip from a resident who was moving out and we’re not supposed to accept tips but the resident insisted that I take it well the Memory care boss found out and she’s holding it over my head I’m afraid if she tells my boss I’ll get fired should I be worried?

20 Comments

1. Lyn K.January 23,2024 at 1:42PM UTC

   I think your best course of action is to go to the MC boss and give her the tip money. Explain you did not know how to say no when the resident was insisting you take it. This is a pretty strict policy in most healthcare settings. But if you say nothing and wait for the chips to fall, you look like you are hiding something and you have given someone else the power to hold something over your head. Fess up ASAP.

2. AnonymousJanuary 23,2024 at 1:43PM UTC

   Are you on good terms with your boss? Can you explain the situation? Maybe you can use the tip to buy lunch for your team?

3. Cindy WaltersJanuary 23,2024 at 2:05PM UTC

   Yes I am

4. J WilliamsJanuary 23,2024 at 1:46PM UTC

   When Residents or family members insist politely explain to them, it could cost you your job as it is against corp. compliance.

   Not sure how your job would handle if came out, I would try to be one step ahead of the Memory care boss, she is not going to say anything because her knowing and not saying anything makes her just as guilty. Period.

   Proceed and do not worry. But in the future read the first sentence again.

5. Cindy WaltersJanuary 23,2024 at 2:02PM UTC

   Thank you

6. Cheryl BeanJanuary 23,2024 at 1:47PM UTC

   Well, I would be. You knowingly broke the policy that is in place for your benefit as well as your residents'. I have worked in that industry and every time a resident or family member offered me a tip, I sent them to the administrator after declining due to policy. The can be very insistent. That's why I sent the to admin.

   As for your situation, did you accept this from the resident themselves or from a family member of the resident? If you accepted it from the resident in a Memory Care unit, that would be an automatic termination in my opinion. Residents in memory care are generally not able to make an informed decision to give money. There may be more leniency if it came from a family member.

7. Cindy WaltersJanuary 23,2024 at 2:01PM UTC

   The resident is not in memory care his wife was

8. AnonymousJanuary 23,2024 at 1:53PM UTC

   I worked at a non-profit helping seniors who sometimes insisted. We would take the tip and give it to the company. I would come forward and say I tried, I didn't want to upset them, here it is...possibly put it into a general fund? At least you're being honest about it, and you're also not keeping it.

9. AnonymousJanuary 23,2024 at 4:14PM UTC

   I worked for a retirement community in upper management for many years.

   Yes, you should be worried as it is a serious offense. I would consider coming clean with the superiors so your boss can’t hold it over your head. If it’s a nonprofit organization, offer to donate the tip back. The residents likely know they aren’t supposed to give tips, so you shouldn’t feel bad declining. Even if they insist.

10. Cindy GloverJanuary 23,2024 at 9:13PM UTC

    May I ask how she found out?

    were you planning on telling her?

    gifts from clients/patients come risk as stupid as that may be at

    times

11. AnonymousJanuary 24,2024 at 4:44PM UTC

    I don’t know how she found out

12. AnonymousJanuary 24,2024 at 1:03AM UTC

    I used to work in a hospice as a chaplain, and we were not allowed to accept gifts or gratuities from clients or their families.
    The only exception was that I could get an honorarium if I did a funeral on a weekend when I wasn't working. If it was on a weekday during my regular working hours, or some other type of "tip," I could accept it, but I had to donate it to the organization, as it was considered "part of my job." Is it possible for you to offer to do that?

13. Amy Carissa OliverJanuary 26,2024 at 5:08PM UTC

    That's exactly what I was going to suggest. My facility has a similar policy but people really push tips on individuals and so our team is allowed to accept them and put them in the donation box. It makes the customer feel that they're done what they set out to do and allows our staff to remain within policy.

14. AnonymousJanuary 26,2024 at 10:00PM UTC

    Yes, thank you for responding to my reply. The bottom line is that even if you tell the person it is against policy and you could be disciplined or fired, they often come back with "if you don't tell, I won't either." I've had that happen. That's why I suggested it to my employer about the honorarium, and was told it only applied to a funeral during my regular work hours. I know tips are a different animal, though. When a tip is refused, it often offends the person offering it. Once given, you are not obligated to let the person know how you used it, so they should not be offended if you donate it to your employer, especially if it is a non-profit.

15. AnonymousJanuary 24,2024 at 1:06AM UTC

    I was going to say the same thing. Refusing a gratuity can be rude in some cultures, so it is best to accept it but donate it back to the facility.

16. AnonymousJanuary 24,2024 at 1:21PM UTC

    Yes, you should. If someone wants to gift you in special something, they can go through other channels, such as reach out to management. Also, you should have probably reported the incident, requesting guidance.

    I understand we believe gifts are nice and your hands are clean, but those policies are there to avoid instances of criminal behaviour, such as extorsion and blackmail.

    Clients are not friends.

17. KatJanuary 24,2024 at 4:22PM UTC

    You know what you did was wrong. But your boss holding it over your head and not reporting it through proper channels is wrong too. Come clean to who ever is in charge of the facility. Explain the situation and turn the money in to them. Apologize and ask for the best way to handle this in the future, which is probably to refer the client/family member to admin. I'm hoping you don't lose your job over this. But if you do, at least you will be able to find a boss that's more ethical.

18. AnonymousJanuary 25,2024 at 5:50PM UTC

    Yes, especially if the "do not accept tips" is in your employee handbook or any other documentation that you have signed.

    I would if I were you donate those funds to a charity in the name of the giver and let the company know that is what you did when you did not want to insult the person who gave it to you. Show them the receipt and let them know that it will not happen again. I would certainly own the error and let them know that you wanted to be sure the funds went to a memory charity.

19. AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 8:27PM UTC

    You should not have accepted it.
    What if the resident slipped its tongue and told one of your nurses or other staff, even if she meant good? I got some offers and I turned it down. I just told her to give it charity or if she attends church, place it in the offering.

20. AnonymousJanuary 28,2024 at 10:54PM UTC

    I work in health care as well. The best course of action is to take ownership of the mistake and turn in the tip to management. Then you don't have to worry about anyone holding it over your head and you have done what you need to do to keep your conscience clear.