Is this a racism, fear or exclusion?

31 Comments

1. AnonymousNovember 19,2023 at 1:41PM UTC

   I don’t understand your claim of racism. You have to know that this administration is going to yield to the lead teacher rather than an assistant, this is simple pecking order and hierarchy .

   How does this equate to racism? Did they say: we’re discounting your detail of these events because you’re black/brown and validating those of the lead teacher because they’re white?

   It also seems like you’re doing some profiling of your own with your comments about the racial make up of this school. I don’t care for all of my coworkers, either, but you’d better come to the table with something more than what you’ve laid out here if you’re looking to

   move classrooms. The administration simply won’t make changes based on your perception of red flags.

2. AnonymousNovember 19,2023 at 1:44PM UTC

   Can you be more specific regarding the red flags and favoritism?

3. AnonymousNovember 19,2023 at 2:07PM UTC

   Honestly sounds like a hostile work environment and you'd probably be better off moving on. Teachers are in high demand and you can find a better environment.

4. AnonymousNovember 19,2023 at 3:50PM UTC

   A hostile work environment sounds like a serious stretch! These sounds like professional differences.

5. Rochelle TurnerNovember 19,2023 at 2:11PM UTC

   I would suggest doing what you can to be a good support while also being mindful and keep track of the questionable experiences. Is there a chance to have an empowering conversation with the teacher to better strengthen your relationship, so you both can be more comfortable and confident with one another in your time together? Letting her know you want this to be a great year for both of you, your students, and make a good impact of the work the two of you do/have done, and how can you support?

   I don't directly see signs of racism, but as a Black woman (and often being the only one in the room) it is always in the back of our mind. My assumption is that the other 2 commenters are not women of color and are not used to the experience of being the ONLY in a space and the level of discomfort that comes with that. Human tendency is to prefer/surround ourselves which most closely relates to self - so diverse spaces need to be mindfully, intentionally created.

6. AnonymousNovember 19,2023 at 2:59PM UTC

   Best response!! ????

7. AnonymousNovember 19,2023 at 3:03PM UTC

   Totally agree with your assessment., try to work with her professionally, but track these occurrences.
   You don’t get it unless you have experienced it. FGB is probably not the supportive environment for this discussion. If her radar is going off that something is amiss, it probably is. Those feeling don’t come out of thin air. If you are not feeling supported in this place OP, I would look elsewhere for next year.

8. AnonymousNovember 19,2023 at 2:52PM UTC

   There are a lot of feelings here but I didn't read anything suggesting racism. So far you are the only one pointing to the color of the new and younger teacher and the color of the children that attend the school.

   She brought of your side conversations as it was an issue for her. Yet you did not point to any of her actions that caused you issues so I'm not sure what you are experiencing accept race and age differences and favoritism. I'm not sure why you don't trust the school.

   Instead of wishing you could work with someone else, perhaps you can put your request for a transfer in. While you wait perhaps concentrate on gaining your education and training so that you might be a lead teacher in a year.

9. AnonymousNovember 19,2023 at 4:02PM UTC

   Excellent advice!

10. AnonymousNovember 19,2023 at 3:01PM UTC

    Aggressive tone & misconceptions

11. AnonymousNovember 19,2023 at 3:25PM UTC

    In reading your post it is hard to see direct racism here but favoritism seems more apparent right now from what you wrote. I am a Black woman and I understand the underlying feelings that this kind of experience would bring about. Regardless, I think that it would be best to keep a personal record of every single email communication you have that relates to any of your experiences at work. Additionally, keep the electronic record but also PRINT out everything! I think that it would be a good idea to talk privately to the Assistant Principal about your concerns (stick to the facts) and if that doesn't work out maybe that will signal it is best to move on to another place of employment if possible. I know that you said your contract doesn't end until the end of the year but perhaps it would be a good idea to start looking for a new role ahead of time so you don't feel rushed or panicked when the new year approaches.

    Lastly, I do think that the other person who commented and stated that it would be a good idea to talk to the teacher yourself and build a connection and develop a relationship with her is a good idea because making assumptions how someone feels about you is not really great and it doesn't set the tone for things moving forward. I think that opening the door to getting to know each other is a good start to possibly changing the direction of the dynamic between you and the other teacher.

12. AnonymousNovember 19,2023 at 6:04PM UTC

    As a black woman, I agree with Rochelle Turners response. I don't see direct racism but I would not put it past the Lead teacher having passive racism. To be clear, many non POC don't even know they are passively racist in their thoughts and behaviors. Regardless, since nothing is direct you cannot contribute her maybe malice to racism.

    If you're truly uncomfortable in the space and have done everything you can or will do in your power to make things better then I would start to look elsewhere for employment.

13. AnonymousNovember 21,2023 at 2:18PM UTC

    How do you know what others thoughts are? Looking for the offense are you?

14. AnonymousNovember 20,2023 at 6:56AM UTC

    Regarding your insistence that “sometimes two people just don’t gel, and it has nothing to do with race,” please know that according to Lean In’s Women in the Workplace Report 2021, “They (Black) women experience more microaggressions than other groups of women, and are three to four times as likely as white women to be subjected to disrespectful and “othering” comments and behavior. They are also less likely to report that their managers check in on their well-being or help them balance priorities and deadlines.”

    With this being the case, the OP is not wrong for making the assertion that (some form of) racism may be at play, and certainly with her years of ACTUALLY LIVING AS A BLACK WOMAN, would possess the breadth of knowledge and experience to question her supervisor’s actions. This is true despite your paternalistic remarks that may seem to imply otherwise.

    The Lean In report also states, “Black women are far more likely than other employees to be coping with the impact of racism and racial trauma. More than 60 percent of Black women have been personally affected by racial trauma in the past year.”

    This brings me to your statements, “…when a majority of black households are led by single women who are juggling jobs and family. Maybe some lack funds and don’t know that there might be scholarships or other funding opportunities.”

    What sources are you citing and how are you determining that the data you are asserting is valid and applicable? Also, what is your level of expertise regarding the Black family dynamic? Statements such as these are often based on harmful stereotypes about Black women and can be rightfully interpreted as microaggressions.

    Lastly, never tell an ADULT what they should “never” do and please avoid using MLK quotes out of context. I recommend his book, “Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community,” for true edification.

    With that said, I hope the OP can follow the chain of command and have a productive conversation with her supervisor, that’s how I would start if it were me. Then progress up the chain if that conversation proves to be fruitless. Additionally, the resume should be updated just in case moving on becomes necessary. Best of luck, young lady.

15. Dr. Linnie S. CarterNovember 20,2023 at 8:55PM UTC

    Amen! I agree with you wholeheartedly.

16. AnonymousNovember 20,2023 at 12:47PM UTC

    Wow, sounds like showing grace for a first time teacher and you also being new would serve you well. She's trying to find her groove in a very tough job. Being an assistant is such an integral part of the success of that classroom, maybe showing that you support her cadence and bring things up like the chatty kiddos that you're redirecting while she's instructing would have done you well much earlier and not let it grow. I understand your school has a low enrollment with diversity, we don't know the demographics, community options, etc. Not sure why this has gone down this road. Nothing provided shows any distrust, IMO. You both need time to grow in your very important roles, whether lead teacher or amazing assistant. I can guarantee NO first year teacher teaching went smooth. Grace. Give it a Thought.

17. Donna ColeNovember 20,2023 at 1:29PM UTC

    I think that the energy you are bringing will not help. She cannot help what color her students are in her class. You should not worry about that either. Focus on the good you can do for the kids under your care. Regardless of their color they need your full commitment.

18. Aisha LeachNovember 21,2023 at 1:30PM UTC

    Please don’t minimize someone’s experience with racism when you haven’t experienced it yourself!

19. Donna ColeNovember 22,2023 at 1:52PM UTC

    I am not minimizing anything. The only racism she pointed out was the color of her students. The teacher may be toxic but there were no examples of racism in this post. Something I learned is that I can change a work environment if it is toxic. What I do is specifically redirect my focus on my primary task. Second I bring in as much joy as I can possible spread out. Third is I try to find what people do right and encourage them. A young teacher may be overwhelmed.I am not sure what racist things this teacher is doing as she didn’t have any examples. If that is the case document ,document ,document.

20. Kimberly AnneNovember 20,2023 at 1:50PM UTC

    Well it happened to me. I had alot of bosses that showed favoritism and no one cared. Absolutely not one person. And I’m white. I would just look for another job.

21. AnonymousNovember 20,2023 at 2:23PM UTC

    I don’t care if she is a first time teacher or not. She is not unlearned. If she has education. She has experience, perhaps not as a lead. I was a first time teacher once, but I never lied, lied on my time etc. I made mistakes along the way but not towards anyone. Be sure you document your everything if you feel that uncomfortable. When you all have staff meetings, be present, ask questions etc.

22. AnonymousNovember 20,2023 at 2:31PM UTC

    I cannot say it’s racism. But people who have not experienced racism, can’t tell you it isn’t. We had one person who was of a different ethnic group work in our department. She did some serious things that could have gotten other people fired. But because she was the only person of that ‘race’ she barely got a slap in the wrist. This person got other people fired. There were a few times I was verbally attacked. I was new the first time it happened and the second time it happened I wasn’t new but confused. My supervisors defended me because they recognized that persons behavior. People do not have to get ugly when they do, that’s not innocent, that showing your true color.

23. Kimberly AnneNovember 20,2023 at 7:02PM UTC

    Yup, my trainer was a black woman who had a deep seated gate for white people. She got away with bullying me and even got promoted by our black manager.

24. AnonymousNovember 20,2023 at 10:46PM UTC

    I have an Italian last name and constantly asked if I'm mafia. I think it's the dumbest question so I just say I am. I've just accepted that this is how stupid people are-it brings me some peace.

25. AnonymousNovember 21,2023 at 12:43AM UTC

    She mentioned your cross conversations because for her it's a red flag

26. AnonymousNovember 21,2023 at 3:13PM UTC

    From your experience, it is clear that all of your assertions are at play here. From my experience as a former pre-school teacher, (over 20 years ago) the same holds true for today; some younger providers have the entitlement status applied to their positions. It is very real and should be examined. If HR is not biased, you should express your concerns. if you think you can trust them. Working with that age group is extremely stressful, but can be mastered if both adults work together, in a professional manner, to resolve issues that may incite conflict.

27. AnonymousNovember 21,2023 at 3:58PM UTC

    If it is racism, sue the school and board.

28. AnonymousNovember 22,2023 at 2:58AM UTC

    I work at a church-based center and am the site supervisor. The culture is very, very, strange and there is a lot of toxicity...I feel like it is the evolution of the field right now. I have been in the business 40 years and am very very tired of the immature drama and the changing the field. I have a young brown lead teacher who I love with all my heart and I try my best to support her in every way but when she comes in and tells me the same stuff you are saying...I remind her to be authentic and selfaware. I love the way she works with children and her positive attitude. Her style is such I wish I had 20 more like her that the children just smile when they see her. She is in college and trying new things and it is inspiring but I do see the team reacting in ways I don't encourage. My only advice is this, if you are making enough money there and can live your best life outside of work, then ignore the center crap...If you are undervalued and not appreciated, plan your escape. When is the end of the school year. Can you wait until the children move up? Can you leave your children? Search your soul and if it keeps getting you down take some down time and recharge your spirit. If there is an AP that you can ask about the next opening then ask for something new. But don't rot where you are, love your kids, shine on...the best revenge is enjoying your kids and keeping families engaged. If you have done all I have said and need something new still...then make the decision to go and start making strides to a new place and a new chapter. Personally, I love working with diverse groups of children since their growth is so easy to see and foster. I find the more wealthy or entitled the culture is, the less I feel satisfied. Maybe it is time to think it all through...But one thing is for sure, know your value, who cares what they all say, be you and keep your limits, stay in your lane :)

    I wish you were near to me because I would hire you just from how well you reflect and think...Take Care

29. Vikas VermaNovember 25,2023 at 9:39AM UTC

    Well your view is totally understood. And the history tell us that this is a sheer bias and being racist towards you. The educated may not buy that on the face however they know its deep down. Blacks and browns have always and will always been looked down upon. It has been like that in western countries. They are not used to the big part of the world. They think what they have and what they think is all there is in the world. Rest all is weird. So be careful and choose a plan who value equality and do not believe in caste, color or creed. There are lots out there, I am sure you will find one.

30. AnonymousNovember 25,2023 at 5:26PM UTC

    Clearly your view is biased, why not give some uplifting commentary instead of bashing and being negative to women who need support mister? This site is for women who support women...nothing positive to say, then please be quiet.

31. AnonymousNovember 25,2023 at 5:24PM UTC

    When you start a new role you need to sit your manager and co-workers down and let them know how you work and also what you need from them. New people often are dealing with what you talk about because the people who were there before you especially in a school situation have tenure and things are already set up in a certain way. Show them what you can do, and how you can add value to the children you both support. If you feel you have to be defensive when someone gives you feedback, let them know what you need from them when you do things outside of the norm.

    As for lack of support for being a person of color, as the new person who is different that they have never had to work with before it is on you to show them what you need, after all they have no experience AT ALL working with a person of color so teach them! Assume they are dumb...Trust in a work situation comes with time and you both need to give each other some grace to learn how to work together. Good luck to you in what I hope will be a long teaching career showing children what a good teacher is!