Time with clients--thoughts?

Anonymous

October 21,2023 at 2:41PM UTC

Welcome to Fairygodboss!

We’re the largest online career community helping women achieve their career goals. Gain access to articles, jobs, events, and a supportive network of women and allies. Membership is free, always.

Time with clients--thoughts?

I left a position in which i was doing CEO work for teacher money after 5 years with a very small business when my boss refused to let me work ONLY 40 hours for a while because i was burned out and he was acting like a child & taking advantage of me among a bunch of other stuff that had escalated over 2 years. This happened about 3 months ago and i am kind of still recovering emotionally.

I have landed in a space where i am a small business consultant (a lot odfpeople could see the work i was doing in my previous role and how beneficial it was to that org, and have reached out for advice or to hire me, wild!), and i LOVE it.

One of my clients was no call no show for a meeting yesterday a.m., so i waited 15 minutes, then left.

She texted me 20 mins after our meeting was supposed to start and said, "hey i am on my way!" I said, "oh, i waited 15 then left!" She said, "well can you come back?" And I said, "i'd prefer to reschedule, here are some times i am free this week."

I thanked her for her flexibility and for being the kind of person i can have boundaries with, and explained that my former boss used to make me wait without letting me know all the time, and that i learned that i have to respect my time or i can't expect others to.

I was not trying to compare them, just trying to explain why i was holding the boundary about my time, which i also realize was not necessary, and it is my people pleaser habit coming out in the middle of my attempt to hold boundaries.

Anyhoo, then she got defensive and was like, "well i'm not him." And i was like, "you are not, thank god!" And changed the subject.

She is kinda difficult in other ways, too, like she isn't great at communicating and then seems frustrated that i am not a mind reader. So i don't know how sustainable this particular relationship is for me, to be real.

But i think i need to put something in my contracts moving forward about time and under what circumstances i am willing to wait and for how long. Same as like doctors and therapists and lawyers.

Because i absolutely understand how difficult it is to juggle all the things as a small business owner, but this has to be a mutually respectful relationship. And time is seriously small business people's most valuable asset.

How do you all handle this when you are consulting?

Why women love us:

Daily articles on career topics
Jobs at companies dedicated to hiring more women
Advice and support from an authentic community
Events that help you level up in your career
Free membership, always

8 comments

Share your insight

Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.

8 Comments

Join the conversation

AnonymousOctober 21,2023 at 3:37PM UTC
You never explain.
Ever. It's a form of apology for something you didn't do.
You are a professional not their mom. She knew she had the upper hand and was allowed to gaslight and turn things on you as some sort of trauma victim acting out rather than having to take responsibility for her utter lack of etiquette.
Next tine you stay on point. "I waited 15 minutes and you didn't show.....we will need to reschedule....let me know". End of story.
You hold true to your guidelines and you cut clients who treat you unprofessionally.
AnonymousOctober 21,2023 at 7:17PM UTC
Thanks for this affirmation. I wished i could pull the words back into my face after i said them.
Alexis GladstoneOctober 21,2023 at 6:15PM UTC
Welcome to one of the frustrations about consulting!
I agree with the person who said you never should explain. As you point out it's about mutual respect and boundaries.
I have a few things in my contracts depending on the type of work. For coaching clients I require 24-hour notice of rescheduling otherwise they are charged (if a per-session fee) or not allowed to make it up (if a retainer). When there are last-minute cancellations, I may let it slide once, depending on the reason. For clients I'm doing a project for, I put in things about lack of responsiveness and how it might impact the deliverables and also, what will happen if there are scope changes.
For the poor communication with this client, I tend to document all agreements in an email so I have it to refer to when things change.
AnonymousOctober 21,2023 at 7:18PM UTC
Thank you.
AnonymousOctober 22,2023 at 1:58PM UTC
Is there anyway to do zoom meetings instead?
AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 12:04AM UTC
Boundaries are there for two reasons. They can protect you. They can also keep people out. Depending on what was happening with this person, she may have had a legitimate reason for being late and wanting you to honor her request to reschedule. She may have also been testing you. I'm not sure how you tell the difference. All you can do is listen to the reasoning and judge from your gut. If you feel like you are being manipulated, you probably are. If the person has a reasonable explanation, and you have the time, you should go for it.
I also like your idea of putting a time limit (perhaps 20 minutes) that you will wait for a virtual or in-person appointment. If that is part of your contract, they should be expected to be invoiced for the time. You can always say that you cannot schedule the same day due to other commitments, but either way, you should be paid for your time, especially if they agreed to the meeting.
AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 8:16PM UTC
I am a very kind, calm, flexible person generally, and i have rescheduled last minute with this person in the past, and that has never been an issue for me. This person requested the meeting AND it is a standing meeting. So, yeah, the no-call-no-show thing felt weighty.
Her reason for no call no showing was that she made a stop that took longer than expected and left her phone in her car. I have totally done this myself. I am not mad about it. I was sure to express that to her.
Still, I would never ask the person i stood up to come back after leaving, certainly not without first apologizing, so maybe that is what felt not quite right about this, but at very minimum it was a kind of rude i am unwilling to tolerate.
We did reschedule the meeting.
AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 5:06PM UTC
First sharing how your former boss mistreated you right after a missed meeting is gaslighting. Don't do it if you want to keep clients. You should have let her know you gave the time to someone else -or drove far from where you were to meet and can no longer get there unless you slip another meeting, and then offer her 2 other specific times for her to choose from as a redo. Apologize to her for what you said and let her know you are still recovering from working in a bad work environment, and nothing else.
Set terms- rules of engagement (maybe make it a fee for cancellations if you charge by the hour) for meetings going forward and know that as a consultant you are often at the mercy of your clients and their ability or inability to juggle. Respect is something you have to earn when working with people and doesn't come automatically for all. Let it go.