I have a bossy coworker (male) who has usurped by (female) boss's authority previously, and attempted to do it again today.

Anonymous

October 2,2023 at 5:21PM UTC

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I have a bossy coworker (male) who has usurped by (female) boss's authority previously, and attempted to do it again today.

He has derailed work meetings by questioning me, and my boss doesn't interfere or interrupt at all. She didn't question his previous action, which basically took a job duty away from me and appropriated it for himself. I asked her about it, and whether it was permanent. She indicated (vaguely) that it wasn't, but she didn't seem too worried about it. It was his area of expertise, so I let it go. If he wants to reduce my workload, I'll just spend that time posting to FGB!

He sent an email today, cc'ing her, and gave me some orders outside of his wheelhouse. I spent at least an hour writing a draft that detailed my level of knowledge and how I didn't need to do what he insisted on, then decided to simply say I'll do whatever our boss says in a reply-all response.

The other email would have been sent to my boss's boss and someone else in the organization who supervises my stakeholders, and the supervisor of my stakeholders.... and I wanted to cc' others as well.

But I felt that would have been a jerk move response to a jerk move.

I'm proud of myself for standing up for myself and keeping it brief, but now I know I really need to discuss it with my boss, and she doesn't have time for this nonsense.

What would your next step be, hive mind?

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S ReganOctober 2,2023 at 6:20PM UTC
I hate guys like this. Also seems your boss is shirking her responsibility as a manager by letting your colleague get away with this. If he does not stop, I would bring it up in your next meeting with her and say it is a serious concern of yours, as she is your boss and not him. If she still doesn't care and allows it to continue, I would really look for something else. Because at the end of the day, this is ultimately her problem and her responsibility. You can try setting boundaries with him if you really want to stay, but if she won't back you up and/or fulfill her duties as a manager, there's not much point.
AnonymousOctober 2,2023 at 8:28PM UTC
I'm close to retirement, so biding my time.
When I read your response I realized -- he can't punish me. He doesn't write my evaluations. He has no role in determining my salary. To the extent that she trusts him, having her ear makes him dangerous, but I think she's getting tired of his BS. And yes, she really needs to step up and set his boundaries for him.
maria roseOctober 4,2023 at 9:13PM UTC
I am assuming that you are the OP of this post based on your response to the non-reaction or not enough control by your boss who is the immediate supervisor of both you and this other co-worker who you have the opinion is overstepping their job role—after all they are supposedly doing the same job position as you.
But you were not part of the hiring process that got this coworker hired and it is entirely possible that this person was hired to be developed into a fast track role to a management position which your immediate boss would know about and doesn’t have to include that information to any discussion with you that involves your personal reaction to their actions ( like the email evaluations). You are annoyed more by the rather public statements which could be made less conspicuous in a private one-on-one meeting, which you think based on your seniority time with the company (you are close to retirement and feel that it should be a given courtesy at this point). I am only guessing this based on what you have explained is your immediate boss’s non-reaction to what this coworker does.
If this person is in a fast track role in the company, unless they do something that is considered harassment in any form under the workplace compliance guidelines, the only recourse for you is to have a private conversation with this individual who supposedly is your coworker colleague about how to they would like you to work alongside them and try to emphasize to them that you prefer to know how to do things rather than being “criticized about “ doing it wrong afterwards.
AnonymousOctober 2,2023 at 7:21PM UTC
I have been here. Absolutely sucks. The boss that allows it too. Always tried to be the better person but it is a toxic environment.
AnonymousOctober 2,2023 at 7:25PM UTC
Take the higher road for now. Your boss should handle this, since he is in a different reporting structure (at least that's what I understand from your post, his boss isn't your boss, right?) Good for you for not doing the knee-jerk response.
AnonymousOctober 2,2023 at 8:26PM UTC
He reports to my boss.
AnonymousOctober 2,2023 at 11:13PM UTC
Your boss should still handle this. Document everything, then present the evidence that the boss has not witnessed personally. Try not to run to the boss with every little thing, but collect a week or a month's worth, and then present it. That is, unless things get untenable. Then do what you have to do. I hope this all works out for you.
AnonymousOctober 3,2023 at 2:00PM UTC
This jerk cc's the boss on every email to me! I think he believes he's documenting my shortcomings, but he's actually documenting that he's a jerk. I hate to label people as narcissistic, but that label fits him more and more as I get to know him better. Narcissists are so blind to their own shortcomings that they don't realize when they're the person in the wrong.
I don't run to the boss for almost anything. I always try to sort things out one-on-one, but I think it's time for a talk. The busybody decided to interfere with my job while my boss was away from the office.... coincidentally. When she gets back I'll ask for a meeting.
I don't know how he thinks she'll want to read this nonsense when she gets back from a trip. She's a busy person and has too many emails to read that actually need to be read! (That's why I don't bother her if I can help it)
AnonymousOctober 2,2023 at 10:08PM UTC
You shouldn’t have to take orders from your overstepping and overbearing colleague.
I’d document the instances in which your colleague has overstepped and discuss this with your boss *and* if you have an HR Department, HR. Ideally, you, HR and your boss can have a joint discussion about this. It looks like your boss will need to set boundaries and will need HR’s support in handling this.
If there is no HR, talk to your boss and suggest getting the counsel of your boss’s boss if/when — as seems probable — your boss doesn’t deal with it.
AnonymousOctober 3,2023 at 1:56PM UTC
We have HR. I have informally told them, and they said to talk to my boss, which of course is the correct thing to do. This isn't an HR issue.
AnonymousOctober 3,2023 at 4:42PM UTC
The issue that I am anticipating is: Your boss seems to let this colleague run over her and might not respond effectively. At that point, HR’s involvement might be useful (eg discuss with you and/or your boss how to deal.). But if your boss does respond effectively on her own, problem solved.
AnonymousOctober 4,2023 at 2:17PM UTC
Yes, it seems that she defers to him. I think she sees the problem as being between us rather than between her and him. He claims to have noble intentions (wanting things to be done right), but even if the result is things being done right, the cost is that I avoid him, and he's flooding our boss's email with stuff she doesn't need to read.
AnonymousOctober 4,2023 at 10:17PM UTC
Your boss is a weak manager and is possibly afraid of your colleague. She might be figuring that as long as your colleague is focusing on making you look bad, he won’t go after her.
Ideally, your manager should be telling your bossy colleague that:
-He is not your manager.
-He is improperly exceeding his authority by trying to direct your work.
-He is muddying the chain of command and interfering with group morale.
-This will be reflected in his performance review if it doesn’t stop.
-He can make *occasional* suggestions (not give orders) to you, but you have the right to reject them.
-He’ll get ahead faster by being a good colleague to you and trying to make you look better. Good performance means co-operation, not undermining.
•If your colleague has time to spare (as his interfering in your work suggests), he needs to come up with a new project in his own area of responsibility. What might these be?
If your boss isn’t saying at least some of this to your overbearing co-worker, there is indeed an HR problem.
Again, I hope that your boss tries to address this, but I have my doubts.
AnonymousOctober 3,2023 at 3:38PM UTC
I would have sent a response saying, let's take the conversation off of email and set up a time for the 3 to discuss what the next steps will be.
AnonymousOctober 4,2023 at 2:14PM UTC
OP here. He's being bossy in an area that doesn't include his responsibilities in any way! He's simply butting in, and so sure he's right (he's not), that he draws in our supervisor to document my failings. Fortunately for me, he's also documenting what a jerk he is.
AnonymousOctober 4,2023 at 12:50PM UTC
This is a tough situation to be in, however you likely don’t know all the details. Assuming your boss reports to this person. She could be on a performance plan, may have received coaching on how he wants her to focus the team, or any other myriad of things. The best response is to be polite saying something like “thank you for your guidance, should we have a call to discuss in detail, or is it better if I work directly with (your direct boss)”?
AnonymousOctober 4,2023 at 1:43PM UTC
Forgive me if I'm misreading/misunderstanding OP's post, but I think the bossy co-worker is on the same level as OP and also reports to OP's boss.
AnonymousOctober 4,2023 at 3:31PM UTC
OP here - yes, you are correct.
AnonymousOctober 4,2023 at 2:12PM UTC
The coworker is on my level and reports to my boss. He's going around my boss, essentially, or even usurping her role.
AnonymousOctober 4,2023 at 7:58PM UTC
I think the higher ups see this for what it is, or him for who he is.