Hi all - ok this is a first.

Anonymous

September 23,2023 at 1:37PM UTC

Welcome to Fairygodboss!

We’re the largest online career community helping women achieve their career goals. Gain access to articles, jobs, events, and a supportive network of women and allies. Membership is free, always.

Hi all - ok this is a first. The new boss, promoted from within, and I are a bad fit, to put it mildly. I put in my two weeks’ notice, and she replied that I could leave tomorrow.

Here’s the twist: I WANT to stay for two weeks, to put files in order, to coordinate with co-workers the processes for future events, and to finish setting up a Dropbox account for my department. Most of all, I work in a retirement community, and want to ease these beloved residents into the knowledge that their trusted friend is leaving them in good hands. They just lost the last ED without notice and took it badly.

This new boss rules with a cudgel. She starts all discussions with No you can’t do that. She changes my plans on ginned-up reasons (e.g. she canceled my bus trip due to “insurance changes” which had nothing to do with the trip). She lays down the law, and when advised of an error, she doubles down and tries to blame the victim of her error. She refers to staff members as “bodies,” and cares for the residents based on the level of their rent checks. I can’t get away from her fast enough.

Still, I have a good plan for leaving, and as you can tell from the above description of her, any discussion is going to go badly.

any and all advice is much appreciated!

Why women love us:

Daily articles on career topics
Jobs at companies dedicated to hiring more women
Advice and support from an authentic community
Events that help you level up in your career
Free membership, always

27 comments

Share your insight

Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.

27 Comments

Join the conversation

AnonymousSeptember 23,2023 at 2:15PM UTC
Stay as long as you can tolerate. If there are other managers in your corner, tell them that you want to stay to prepare for the next person. .. they will appreciate it.
If at any point you have enough.... just go.
AnonymousSeptember 23,2023 at 3:01PM UTC
Hi - OP here. My problem is that she says go now, and I want to provide a counter offer to stay longer. Based on her personality traits outlined above, she will say no first, no matter what I say.
AnonymousSeptember 23,2023 at 4:26PM UTC
I get what you are saying. All you can do is your best. If she won't let that happen to help in her department, ultimately that's on her
AnonymousSeptember 23,2023 at 7:56PM UTC
Please, stop fighting the fight and move on. Your narrative is all over the board: you resigned and gave two weeks, your boss told you to leave, you want to work the remaining two weeks but you can't get out of there fast enough.
I get your desire to wrap things up and tie up relationships with the seniors in this community but let it go! When we resign, we'd all like to think the place will come crashing down...but it won't. Your boss doesn't care what your departure will do to the seniors or the retirement community. It's not your job to fix this.
I'm not sure what you hope to achieve by working the last two weeks when your boss has told you to leave. She doesn't care if your documents are consolidated into DropBox or if your files are organized. This is a risk she's willing to take.
What is driving your insistence in staying these last two weeks? That you'll be able to say: I stuck it out until the very end, it was uncomfortable for everyone that I dug my heels in and worked every last minute for a boss I can't stand!
You're not going to win this one. You already know the boss will say NO to working the final two weeks.
AnonymousSeptember 23,2023 at 11:53PM UTC
There’s no problem, you resigned and she’s telling you to leave. They’re not going to negotiate with you. Counter offers don’t exist for departure dates when you quit.
AnonymousSeptember 24,2023 at 2:17PM UTC
My question is why, beyond wanting to leave things organized and such? If I was the boss, I would have you removed. Look, I'm not saying you're wrong, she sounds awful, but you gave notice and you both disagree with each other's approach. Maybe she'll get fired in the future and they'll ask you back. Maybe they love her approach because it makes them more money. Who knows. But you gave notice, rightfully so, and now it's time to exit. I would however look a bit deeper into why you feel compelled to stay, it might give you some insight into yourself for future roles.
AnonymousSeptember 23,2023 at 4:47PM UTC
While I appreciate your desire to help with the transition of your work/role, it's not your decision to do so or stay. As someone suggested you could appeal to stay the 2 weeks you want, but you gave notice knowing they can always say thank you, but bye. I feel like you should leave as requested. It's normal to feel some regret or desire for a last push in your role, but I would exit swiftly. Btw, the boss sounds vile.
LauraSeptember 23,2023 at 9:15PM UTC
Be careful. By you not returning to the premises, they can't say you intentionally screwed up their files. You might want to talk someone through it on the phone but if asked not to return, that is on them.
AnonymousSeptember 23,2023 at 11:47PM UTC
Let it go and leave. Yes she’s a bad boss. But you resigned and she has the right to ask you to leave immediately. Staying longer than expected could cost you some HR and legal problems in the future.
You have good intention but from the moment you resign your relationship with the customers are over. Whatever procedures you decided to continue most likely won’t be touch or used again.
You can go visit your clients later with some small gifts if you like, but it’s never your responsibility to carry them on your shoulders.
Sarah BordersSeptember 24,2023 at 1:14PM UTC
Once you’ve announced your intention to resign, the duration of your continued employment is up to your employer. Two weeks’ notice is a courtesy, and it’s their prerogative to accept or decline it. You can tell your employer that you’re happy to stay the full two weeks and tie up loose ends, but that’s really all you can do. I know it sucks, but my advice would be to make peace with the fact that this is something you can’t control, and move on.
AnonymousSeptember 24,2023 at 2:23PM UTC
Completely agree. I gave a previous job a long notice time and at the end of it I realized it was pretty gracious of them to honor it, as it was more for my benefit as opposed to theirs. I felt I needed to wrap things up with people and clients after being there for 10+ years but it was of little benefit to them really. At the time, I really thought I was helping them out but now I believe they helped me work through it by ending things my way. Wild.
AnonymousSeptember 24,2023 at 3:44PM UTC
This exactly. Your boss asked for you be done immediately. Just do as asked but make sure you connect all the dots with HR and then in writing so you always have a paper trail and retain a copy.
Thank them - recap the convo and note as per their request (aka not wanting the 2 weeks) - your last day is now x vs y
if you have a computer or other company equipment - validate how, when and where and whom to turn it into.
cut ties. Be done. Move on. Document and always be polite the whole time (not saving you aren’t).
AnonymousSeptember 24,2023 at 1:41PM UTC
It is commendable that you want to stay to work through your notice, but I agree with others that you are best served by cutting your ties and leaving. If you have an exit interview with HR, discuss this with them, as it can affect your final paycheck. I hate to see her do this to deny you of your notice pay, but since you won't be working, that is just a formality unless the laws in your state require it be handled that way. You can call your new employer and let them know you are now available if you aren't getting some sort of pay. Otherwise, you have a nice break to catch your breath before you start your new job.
AnonymousSeptember 24,2023 at 2:51PM UTC
You can contact the Board, Management company or Owner. Share your news, transition plan and ask that you be allowed to imply your exit plan.
AnonymousSeptember 24,2023 at 4:08PM UTC
Look at the unemployment regulations for your area. Sometimes, there is a one week wait before you can get unemployment-if you were terminated, due to no fault of your own. That means that the second week might be eligible for unemployment.
Most importantly, you need time to process this. She intentionally took from you the one thing you apparently valued highly: the right and ability to control your exit. You need to process it for what it is before joining your next company, and now you have a choice: either take the time off, or contact your new employer, and see if they will advance your start date if finances are critical.
AnonymousSeptember 24,2023 at 5:00PM UTC
This is not a first. When you turn in your resignation always prepare for the possibility of being asked to leave immediately.
Ellen SoehngenSeptember 25,2023 at 3:48PM UTC
Sometimes employees are escorted out after putting in notice. Companies fear disgruntled employees will do damage.
AnonymousSeptember 24,2023 at 5:25PM UTC
While your intentions are good, the situation will not be. Just take those two weeks and take care of yourself.
AnonymousSeptember 24,2023 at 5:31PM UTC
Just go, she is in charge and she will pick up the pieces of things after you go. It's done. You don't get to decide when you leave after you give notice the company does they have no requirement to keep you for the 2 weeks and while you may care they don't. Move on.
Titra HamiltonSeptember 25,2023 at 2:23PM UTC
Whenever you resign, you need to be prepared to leave that day. Your manager clearly does not support or even want a reasonable transition. Let the chips fall where they may. Expect to get blamed for stuff after your departure, but you won't be there, so it doesn't matter. Your boss will only be able to play that game for a little while anyway. By the looks of things, this is not an organization to which you want to return anyway. If possible, leave constructive feedback during your exit interview, including your offer of a two-week transition that was denied, placing operations at risk. Gather your personal belongings, say your good-byes and strut out of that building with your head held high. Best of luck to you in your next role!
AnonymousSeptember 25,2023 at 2:50PM UTC
I am so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you're in the right profession, given the level of your care for the well-being of the residents. While your desire to get your work in order is admirable, clearly Boss doesn't see the value of a smooth transition, and that's her loss. Plan to leave tomorrow as requested and use that time to let the residents know of your departure. Tell them today if you can, and perhaps get in a final goodbye tomorrow.
Guadalupe DiazSeptember 25,2023 at 3:58PM UTC
Sounds like you have a big heart for the residents. She said you "could" leave tomorrow ... is that a suggestions or an instruction. I'd get clarification on that in writing. If it's that she wants you gone right away ... then screw the paperwork and all those other ideas because your boss isn't going to care anyway. Instead, spend the rest of your time saying good-bye to the residents. They're really the ones who matter and so ... if you're so inclined, also report her to whomever oversees the quality of care at these types of facilities.
AnonymousSeptember 25,2023 at 6:51PM UTC
Report the boss for what exactly? For the OP's hurt feeling? A management dispute is VERY different than alleged quality of care complaints! Get real, nothing actionable in your response. Totally inflammatory and slanderous.
Kimberly WorrickSeptember 26,2023 at 1:57AM UTC
This response is inappropriately hostile, accusatory, and has no place on this board.
Wanda Corner, PhD, PMPSeptember 25,2023 at 5:33PM UTC
I would negotiate leaving earlier than my official written notice. First, I would submit my official notice to human resources. Second, there would need to be a written Letter from HR documenting my exit articulating involuntary. In addition, they would need to compensate me up through the date of my notification.
In summary, the only way I would leave early is to negotiate it through human resources, not the manager. Just my thoughts, as you want to consider the impact, if any on eligibility for unemployment benefits, or even future employment.
Best Wishes.......
AnonymousSeptember 25,2023 at 6:52PM UTC
Being an ass in the workplace isn't illegal. Nothing to report.
AnonymousSeptember 26,2023 at 6:03PM UTC
The situation you explained sounds difficult. While I read your boss isn't taking it well, I would NOT "throw gasoline on the fire". Under NO circumstances would I burn bridges. A mentor once said to me, ones career has a long life in a small world. You would feel 100% better not allowing your ego to run the show. Not being mean here, but you will leave in dignity if you respect "her position". It sounds like you are feeding the problem with justifying all the reasons why you shouldn't respect her. In otherwords, you maybe 100% spot on about her, but it doesn't matter. You will be viewed as someone that is insubordinate. I get you personally do not like her. If you are not respecting her professionally it is your reputation that is ultimately affected, not hers.