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I have difficulties with my boss's micromanagement and false assumptions.

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Anonymous

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I have difficulties with my boss's micromanagement and false assumptions. I've been working for him for 1,5 years now. At the beginning we were going along very well. He was very clear from the start about how I should fulfil my tasks and what I shouldn't do. This approach was ok for me because I was new and I often needed clear instructions. But soon he start controlling my work and even worse making false assumptions. He'd find unfinished tasks and would give me negative feedback on that. Or he would misunderstand something and blamed me. It happened that my senior colleague made some failures and I tried to undo that without telling him about the failure because it was not worth mentioning; he then found out and accused me in the first place. I explained that it was my collegue but I felt devastated because of this unfair treatment and was looking quite sad while he was criticising me. He respond to me that I should stop being the victim.

In the meantime I have gained confidence about my tasks there and I know my strengths and weaknesses. He still tend to come to me with similar false accusations. We'd talk things through and he'd then apology but would soon repeat it. This confuses and frustrates me every time. I started having insomnia nights before I should go to work and my mental health is getting worse because of this rollercoaster at my workplace.

Since he is the owner of the company there is nobody above him with whom I could talk. I am wondering if I should quit this job because I don't see signs of improvement.

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  1. M Baaza

    I think you should start looking for a new role before your mental health spirals out of control

  2. Anonymous

    If your mental health is suffering and you can't sleep I would say it's time to move on.

  3. Anonymous

    sounds exactly like my boss who also happens to be owner of the business

  4. Anonymous

    Just leave if you can.

  5. Cindy Glover

    GjTs what I walked out of just under 3 weeks ago - the screaming he did -

    not so much at me but employees

    he thinks he knows it all and god forbid you have any ideas of your own.

    I made myself sick staying as long as I did.

  6. Shellie

    It’s very likely that he is incapable or unwilling to change. For your sake, move on . I wish you the best of luck

  7. Anonymous

    He sounds like a bad manager and a bad communicator but before you leave, I think you should take the following approach. Set a meeting to talk to him about communication issues but not related to any 1 example. Bring in documentation of all of these miscommunications (anything you have via email or things you've w ritten down--if you have nothing spend a bit of time documenting them now to the best of your ability. 1. problem. 2 person responsible 3. what happened . 4 apology. Look at the pattern and use that to bring up the topic. Essentially he doesn't want to hear you complain or point out his flaws, so ground everything in the work and how to do it done to his satisfaction. Manage up, in other words. "we seem to have some miscommuncations that I'd like to work through together with you. :"Keep asking, in however dif ways intakes, what do you need from me/how can I better do xyz to hit the goals you want me to hit? Or "there seems to be some misscommunation around x, what are the things you need to know from me so that we form a better understanding of the task at hand? "Put the onus on you. You can also subtly mention that this kind of up and down/lack of clarity in isn't good for the work getting done, or collegiality or whatever. Link it to the bottom line.

  8. Anonymous

    Dear Friend ..Health comes first! Keep your chin up (?)Your story really resonated with me. In my previous position, I faced a strikingly similar situation of unprofessional and abusive treatment. I endured it for 1.5 years, unable to find relief due to the individual's leadership role and the lack of checks and balances above them. The abuse of power, micromanagement, intimidation, and verbal aggression all went far beyond what could be considered a red flag.It's important to remember that it's not about you, it's about them. The impact on your well-being, such as sleeplessness, anxiety, feelings of alienation, stress, and high blood pressure, is significant and not worth any job. Opportunities come and go, but your personal health is irreplaceable.If you feel it's appropriate, you might consider consulting with an employment lawyer. However, remember that dealing with an abusive boss who seemingly answers to no one can be emotionally and mentally draining. Prioritize self-care above all else, and don't hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or professional counselors when needed. Your well-being is paramount.While it may seem commendable to try and address the issue directly with your boss, without any leverage, it could be counterproductive or even futile. Given the circumstances, it's clear that your health, integrity, and sanity should be your priority. No personal or professional environment is worth enduring such abuse. Let's be clear, there's no dressing up such behavior - we need to call it what it is. You can't change the situation, but you can change how you respond to it! Everyone is trying to help with advice but you’ll take bits and pieces that work for you we are all routing for you my dear.

    For perspective: Single Black 58yr Mom, HR Recruiter!

  9. Anonymous

    Hi again, it's me, the author of this discussion. I finally find courage to quit last week. I want to thank you all for your kind words. For a long time I was lying to myself that something would change and that I was overreacting. Your comments reminded me that his behaviour was a real issue. I was searching for a new job intensively in the recent time. As soon as I got a new (better) offer with kinder boss I did it. I already feel so much better, knowing that I am not stuck anymore in this never-ending draining situation. Thanks a lot!

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