Unhappy with my job - feeling depressed and anxious

15 Comments

1. Sue Gordon- retired Career CoachJuly 28,2023 at 3:33PM UTC

   First it’s ok to feel how you feel. What I do read here is that you were unhappy in your prior job so you left to take a similar one? So besides the source of your paycheck, little has changed?

   Time for some soul searching and career exploration. Talk to a career counselor. I’m sure this forum has lots of resources to get you started? Perhaps folks can share books that might be useful?

2. AnonymousJuly 28,2023 at 5:39PM UTC

   Your body is trying to tell you something. This is not a fit and will not be a fit. Listen to it.

   I left a position before my 90 days. It was the worst experience of my career. Nothing felt right. Worst yet, it was a highly prized job at a great company but I had to finally admit that it just wasn't right for me personally. I woke up in a panic everyday. The day after I quit I have never felt so much relief and calm. I have never looked back.

3. AnonymousJuly 29,2023 at 5:07PM UTC

   Before considering jumping ship after a month at a new job, does your job offer an EAP program? If so, I would contact them, as it may still be a case of new job jitters or symptoms of other deeper issues. A couple of sessions talking with someone you feel confident talking to in a confidential setting may be all you need. In the worst-case scenario, they can refer you to more specialized care, including career coaching.

4. AnonymousJuly 30,2023 at 1:27PM UTC

   EAP is a great option! I recently started a new job, and I want to add to this that I suffer from anxiety and depression that is ALWAYS stronger when a big change happens in my life, and I couldn’t get through it without my medication. This time, my routine was upset because I’d been unemployed for three months, so the usual imposter syndrome was amplified both by that and by me forgetting to take my meds for the first couple weeks. That’s not to say medication is for everyone, but anytime we start a new job, it’s disruptive to our habits and routines, and we need to make sure we’re taking care of ourselves. Sometimes, that care means seeking outside help. Good luck!

5. Marcia SmithJuly 31,2023 at 1:19PM UTC

   I completely understand how you feel. Last year, I started a new job that I was very excited about - but then soon learned that my new boss was a real piece of work. I started therapy immediately to learn how to better deal with her personality and focus on my self-care and mental health. Well - it's been a little over a year and I am now looking for work. My boss became more and more toxic - to the point that I will not stay. In the words of my therapist "your mental health is most important". Maybe talk to a therapist to work out what you are anxious and stressing about - they are experts and can offer a TON of support and help you make the best decision.

6. AnonymousJuly 31,2023 at 2:46PM UTC

   I am in your EXACT boat w a job I started 1.5 yrs ago. Toxic skip-level boss who micromanages everything. Very bullying persona. I have resolved to start looking. I feel you!

7. Marcia SmithJuly 31,2023 at 11:25PM UTC

   yes - that definitely describes my situation perfectly. Best of luck to you - I am sure that you will find something that is perfect - it just takes kissing a lot of toads first :)

8. Caroline CastrillonJuly 31,2023 at 4:34PM UTC

   You need to think about why you feel this way. Is it the culture? Your boss? The work? Until you nail that down, you can't address the issue. In any case, I would give it at least 6 months because it takes at least that long to acclimate to a new company/job.

9. AnonymousJuly 31,2023 at 7:11PM UTC

   Since you felt this way at a previous job, Maybe it’s not the job. Maybe it’s you. Please check with your doctor and make sure you don’t have undiagnosed anxiety or depression.

   I say this because I had similar feelings that something was wrong with me for years. Turned out I have ADD. Good luck.

10. EMILY KIKUE FRANKJuly 31,2023 at 7:37PM UTC

    I'd recommend you look outside of corporate. It's not the right setting for everyone.

11. AnonymousAugust 1,2023 at 2:59AM UTC

    New jobs are almost always uncomfortable. You don't know the people and their styles. You don't know the job - even if it's similar to work you've done before there are always some differences.

    There are the start-up requirements - forms to fill in, decisions to make, procedures to learn.

    Try to figure out if it's just the newness that's uncomfortable. If that's it, live with the discomfort. Most people will understand that a new person has much to learn, and it's ok. Just like physical exercise, sometimes we get stronger by pushing a little.

    However, to take the metaphor a bit further... don't push so hard that you harm yourself. If it's something more than the new routine and activities that are making you uncomfortable, you may be in the wrong place. Are the people there cruel? overly demanding? Does the work feel unethical? Things like that go cross the line from discomfort to harm - and you shouldn't stay in that situation.

    If you keep changing jobs because they're new - all jobs will be new when you first start - so you'll never find something you can settle into - enjoy and do well. But there's a big difference between that and something that's truly harmful.

12. AnonymousAugust 1,2023 at 1:12PM UTC

    Explore remote jobs or becoming an entrepreneur. Find something fun and interesting that you like to do.

13. AnonymousAugust 1,2023 at 7:43PM UTC

    This may not be a solution more an alternative. Is it possible to join a fitness class or seek mental wellness therapy. I think it's doable to apply for another job, but that also may contribute to your anxiety.

14. PatriciaAugust 4,2023 at 7:24AM UTC

    I am in the same boat. I started a role on 10th July and I knew by the end of the first week that it was not for me. My supervisor is not only a micromanager but he purposefully sabotages my work. He doesn't tell me exactly what he needs, so I deliver what he asks for, except it's not what he has in mind. When he finally decides to explain what he really wants, he redoes my work to show me what he really wants/needs (and in one instance I had developed a pivot table based on the data he gave me, only to tell me it was too complicated, then gave me another set of instructions which was obviously incorrect....... then he 'fixes it' - only to produce what I had developed in the first place!)....

    I have now started looking for a different role as I no longer enjoy what I do, and a mentor to help me as I plan to career transition. I would prefer to network into a new position rather than tread the job boards.

    Perhaps a combination of a counsellor to help with the anxiety and a career coach or mentor could help you move into a new direction?

15. Eloisa JacintoAugust 6,2023 at 6:52AM UTC

    Hey there. I think you need to get into the bottom of your discomfort, whether you do it on your own or seek help from a professional please do so. Good luck.