Frustration.

Anonymous

September 1,2023 at 6:11PM UTC

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Frustration. That's what's on my mind today. Trying to decide whether to give up looking for work in my field and do a complete pivot into something new. Trying to believe that the old adage "one door closes and another opens" is true. Trying to project good out into the universe in the hope that good will return. Constantly battling the conflicting internal messages ("you are amazing, smart, talented, good at what you do" vs "you are not relevant, you have no place, you are too old, no one would miss you if you were gone"). Grinding through the each day for six or more hours, remaking myself on paper, jumping through the hoops of online applications, reading hundreds of posts from others like me and feeling hope spiral down into a pit of darkness. New city, no job, no friends, no hobbies, no life outside the endless job hunt (recently divorced, kids grown, no grandkids). I've been soft applying for two years and hard-core applying for four weeks. All I hear is crickets. Some of you have been doing this for months on end with no luck. I don't know how you do it.

I have to keep reminding myself that I have my physical health, a place to live, a family member nearby who loves me, a good car, money, and I'm debt free. If I wanted, I could travel the world. But I want to work and do something meaningful. My elderly father said I am like a husky (the dog). I have to work or I am not happy. Put a harness on me and I will go til I drop. So today I decided it was time to talk to my doctor about antidepressants and therapy. If it's going to be months before I find a job, I'll need something to keep me above it all. I hope that those of you who are feeling like me will consider doing the same. I know that the right job is out there for me, and I can't give up. Thanks for listening!!

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AnonymousSeptember 1,2023 at 6:48PM UTC
WOW, you really make it hard to comment about what to do.
AnonymousSeptember 2,2023 at 4:26PM UTC
If you had read her post properly you would know she didn’t ask for solutions. Either be helpful in accordance with the content of the post or do not respond. All caps wow is unnecessary and super rude.
AnonymousSeptember 1,2023 at 7:39PM UTC
I've been looking for a long time.
I have had great jobs but buy outs and layoffs. Recruiters 'im smart, they enjoyed meeting me' but ultimately..... nothing. I recently had a great job but my boss thought I was"not a good fit ' (he requests changed DAILY!!!! I kept up as much as possible) She wanted me out. I'm drama free but not young, and not what she considers perfect
SICK OF RESUMES and interviews only to be told "too bad". Sick of answering "tell me about yourself"
My HS senior graduates in May and I'm leaving shortly after. I've lived in my area years as a single mom to a deadbeat spouse and while involved in elementary, middle and high school activities for my children, no real friends here. He will ALWAYS have a home with me.... just not here. My other son is on his own where he moved to his career.
I get the wanting to work part. I'd love to work as a traveling accountant or related.
Time to hit "reset" in May. Buy out the lease and start over
Collette BrownSeptember 1,2023 at 8:05PM UTC
hang in there keep applying and use other job boards. I completely understand how you feel. I am getting anxiety daily and yet working hard on keeping my faith that something will come my way.
AnonymousSeptember 1,2023 at 8:47PM UTC
You have all the right ideas. Take care of your mental health first, especially if you feel it is spiraling down.
AnonymousSeptember 1,2023 at 9:25PM UTC
Keep the faith. You have the tools to hang on a little longer. things happen when they should and when you do find a job, it will be one that you will be very happy with.
AnonymousSeptember 2,2023 at 12:25PM UTC
You are not alone in how you feel. It is a very tough market and it’s an employer’s market. It’s always a cycle. So keep in mind that this too shall pass. It wasn’t long ago that employees were running the job market demand, remember 2021?
It will take time for things to turn around but think about how you can use this time wisely to learn new things in your field. Try free online courses, or read as much as possible about changes in your field. You want to sound and stay up to date.
at the end of the day it is a numbers game. You only need one.
AnonymousSeptember 2,2023 at 4:18PM UTC
I’m right there with you! Therapy is great support. But, holy cow, it is a big challenge to keep my head above water in term of self esteem and a hopeful outlook. Which in turn impacts the job search. It’s an ongoing balancing of emotions and mood. Sending you virtual support and understanding!
AnonymousSeptember 3,2023 at 12:13PM UTC
I thought you might find this useful from Harvard Business Review? https://hbr.org/2023/08/how-to-make-a-pivot-in-the-latter-half-of-your-career
AnonymousSeptember 14,2023 at 8:12PM UTC
This is a great article! It provided actual examples of how I want to be thinking, and ways to market my skills to fit a particular job description. Excellent resource! Thank you!
AnonymousSeptember 4,2023 at 7:28PM UTC
This all sounds like extreme burnout. I have been there before and everything feels hopeless and like things are spiraling out of control. I found a burnout specialist on LinkedIn. Her name is Anna Lovell-Nesmith and she truly cares about the people she works with. Seriously changed my life and she offers a free strategy call. Things will get better but the difference for me was finding support from someone who really knew what they were talking about. Best of luck
Joann S. LublinSeptember 5,2023 at 4:01PM UTC
I hope virtual hugs from me and other commentators here bring you some comfort. But IMHO you also need practical advice. A couple of suggestions:
1) Pitch yourself as an interim consultant (where you'd do one project for a few months in an area you know well).
2) If you're considering switching fields, request a free invite to regional meeting for professional group or trade organization that represents the new field or industry.
3) Think about taking an online certification course in your current or related area so you can show you're totally current with what's happening. Such classes are often free or low cost, when offered by a local university or community college.
4) Don't stop believing in yourself -- and practice self-care for at least 10 minutes every day.
FYI, I initiated The Wall Street Journal's career column and kept writing it until May 2020. I'm also the author of two books about working women. Best of luck!
AnonymousSeptember 6,2023 at 4:19AM UTC
I was in a similar position and headspace earlier in the year. Emotionally burnt out and my confidence at its lowest point ever. I was applying for jobs in other industry sectors but my heart wasn't in it. I realised that I needed to nourish my soul and so despite not being debt free, I decided to gather my resources and travel to Europe and the UK for a two month sabbatical. It's not a silver bullet but I have returned energised, confident and with a revived belief in myself and that I can create the life I want for myself. Not working used to create anxiety in me. Now I can happily be with myself and know that I'm ok and having nothing to prove. So I'm looking around for what will excite and inspire me and know that wherever I land, they'll be lucky to have me. Good luck and big hugs to you. You are awesome, and deserve to nourish yourself, whatever that looks like. When you are filled up, you have so much more to give and this energy shines like a beacon!!
AnonymousSeptember 14,2023 at 8:01PM UTC
Traveling is a great idea! I did spend a few weeks this summer driving in the northwest US, camping in my car, and exploring the surrounding states. It was fantastic and I loved every second of it. Coming home to get serious about life was what brought me down again. I'm planning another short trip later this month so that gives me something to look forward to. But Europe sounds amazing. I traveled with my ex and his family to England and Northern Ireland in 2017 and it was a wonderful experience. I have a bucket list of destinations, so maybe I should choose one and say, "what the heck!? why not?". Thanks for the words of love and encouragement :)
Grisel Scarantino, Career and Work-Life Fulfillment CoachSeptember 6,2023 at 4:48PM UTC
The right job is definitely out there just waiting for you, you just haven't found it yet. You spoke to my soul when you said that you're like a husky. I am the same exact way. If you find that you'd also like someone to help you navigate the job/career landscape with greater ease, I invite you to schedule a complimentary call with me. I'd love to chat more with you about what you're looking for and give you some helpful strategies. Let me know if you'd like that.