What do you do when you have a boss that is mistreating you for making a complaint?

21 Comments

1. AnonymousJuly 30,2023 at 2:19AM UTC

   I learned the hard way in a former workplace that a toxic boss was a feature of the organization, not a bug.

   Also, when you say "discrimination" do you really mean retaliation? Supposedly, they can't retaliate, but some do and they usually get away with it.

2. AnonymousJuly 30,2023 at 3:12AM UTC

   Its called retaliation. But, and this is super hard to prove legally but you can try and try to file a complaint via the EEOC if you have any proof, witnesses etc.

3. AnonymousJuly 30,2023 at 12:38PM UTC

   You need to consult with an employment attorney asap. While some charge a fee, find one who gives you a free initial legal consultation. Do your research to locate one that has actually won cases for discrimination and retaliation. Until then, start working on a chronology and document everything! Confirm every directive given to you by your manager via a nice but clear email.

4. AnonymousJuly 31,2023 at 1:29PM UTC

   No, it is not ok or legal (whether retaliation or discrimination), but they usually get away with it.

5. AnonymousJuly 31,2023 at 2:35PM UTC

   Document everything and find a lawyer to talk to.

6. AnonymousJuly 31,2023 at 4:11PM UTC

   It is not ok. It seems he thinks he is being clever by making the retaliation hard to prove. Take detailed notes about this micromanagement and what is different in your work environment from before you made the complaint. Be specific. Go through the normal channels and report this to HR. HR should be investigating your claim. Ask about that process. Look at next steps if this distinct change in micromanagement is not addressed. Wishing you all the best

7. AnonymousJuly 31,2023 at 5:01PM UTC

   It's never okay to be mistreated. If you have filed a formal complaint with your employer and believe he is retaliating against you and have significant details write it up and send it to the companies legal department and HR and let them know that your plan if you do not get relief is to file a formal complaint with the EEOC. That should stop it. Alternatively ask to be moved under another manager and perhaps start fresh.

8. maria roseJuly 31,2023 at 5:04PM UTC

   First of all, this question lacks full context of what made this person make a report/ complaint and how long they had been there with the company dealing with the situation that caused the complaint. Half stories are not helpful to understanding what caused the report. I am not excusing the wrongdoing.

   Now this individual who made the report is feeling—for lack of better wording—harassed by the person who they reported but is not giving any details just using the wording “micromanagement “ —that specific word means supervision of all actions for performance for a specific task. I get the impression this individual does not like being watched over and doesn’t like feedback comments on doing things in the way preferred by the job. If this person who was reported has been in their position longer than the one who reported, they have received the correct HR response and write up, which probably included giving this individual more feedback on their work performance which probably not what the individual who reported desired.

   This now puts the individual who reported the problem situation with a choice, they have to make—since the person who was reported is not leaving—1st choice learn to deal with the person in a professional manner in the workplace even if they don’t like to be micromanaged or 2nd choice, either transfer to another department or get another job in another workplace. But they need to know that unless the offending behavior is so serious that it created major problems for the company, one person is not going to create a change but making a report and more importantly there’s no perfect workplace where everyone is working together happily. Again I am not condoning bad behavior but merely making an observation based on the facts presented.

9. AnonymousJuly 31,2023 at 5:26PM UTC

   Lots of missing details here. Micromanaging is not mistreating. Need a lot more info to truly be able to provide a good answer.

10. Lorraine HerreraAugust 1,2023 at 1:22PM UTC

    It is if it creates a hostile environment and is made as retaliation.

11. AnonymousJuly 31,2023 at 6:25PM UTC

    What he's doing is OK.

12. AnonymousAugust 1,2023 at 12:27PM UTC

    The issue with micro management is that it is incredibly toxic but technically not wrong. Also difficult to prove. If you have already made the complaint just be honest with him about how you are uncomfortable with his management style and ask to make a plan moving forward. If he is dismissive and defensive put it in an email. Review the situation monthly and keep a record of everything. If it gets to the point of leaving then be honest in your feedback. It is horrid but unfortunately common

13. Lorraine HerreraAugust 1,2023 at 1:22PM UTC

    I would file a complaint in EEOC because that is retaliation and is illegal. Save your evidence.

14. Rosa GoesAugust 1,2023 at 6:49PM UTC

    I agree. There are micro managers. But if he became one after the complaint then it's considered retaliation.

15. DVDgoddessAugust 1,2023 at 2:43PM UTC

    Did you discuss this with your boss first, or did you go over their head with your complaint? You have to talk to the person making the error first. If they are upset because you went over their head without talking to them first, they have a right to be upset. You denied them the opportunity to grow and change.

    If you talked to your boss and they didn't change and then complained about them, then they don't have a right to be upset.

16. Sarah MayfieldAugust 1,2023 at 3:57PM UTC

    It honestly depends on the nature of the complaint that was made, whether you should talk with the person making the error first. SA or Harassment is not something you should even consider mentioning to the person first. Because it only gets worse if you complain.

17. AnonymousAugust 1,2023 at 3:59PM UTC

    Agreed!

18. AnonymousAugust 1,2023 at 4:44PM UTC

    I disagree completely. With this hybrid environment it’s a he said she said until you have a third party witness it. I went thru 2 years of mistreatment and finally my mgr slipped up in-front of another- non company person. I went above his head and then laid it all out with him…willing to walk… I will say that each time he choose his timing well.. but he never did it again…I did not go the formal complaint way out of courtesy. I was fortunate that it stopped.

19. Lorraine HerreraAugust 1,2023 at 6:06PM UTC

    Check if your state is one party consent or two for recording. If your state is one party consent, you could use recording as your evidence.

20. AnonymousAugust 1,2023 at 6:32PM UTC

    Micromanagement used as a form of intimidation, particularly after a formal HR complaint regarding a protective factor can absolutely be considered harassment. If it escalates to the point that your job is changed or you fear he's moving toward dismissing you without cause, contact an employment attorney immediately. Find one that offers a free initial consultation. In fact, you should probably do that either way. EEOC is another option but it's not always the most timely or effective.

21. misskelleypAugust 3,2023 at 11:33PM UTC

    What he's doing is called retaliation, not discrimination. And that is NOT allowed. Tell HR (or whoever you made the complaint to) that the boss is retaliating against you. They ~should~ put a stop to that. But honestly, your best bet is to ask for a transfer to a new boss... Good luck.