I love the company I work for, pay is great, I’ve been promoted and the colleagues other than my manager are thoughtful and kind.

9 Comments

1. AnonymousSeptember 16,2023 at 6:36PM UTC

   If management is supporting this person with all else being perfect I would try and stick it out. Find ways to balance the impact this person is having on you personally.

2. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistSeptember 17,2023 at 3:24AM UTC

   Why do you love a company that is poorly managed and allows management to mistreat employees?

   I recommend you re-read your post - there doesn't sound like there's much to love there - manager is a very poor communicator, poor cultural fit for the company and is misogynistic - leadership enables this behavior - it's effecting your health. By your own admission "it's a mess".

   As an employee, all you have to invest is your time. I suggest you invest your time in a better run company where it will pay off for you in the long run.

   I would recommend you polish up your resume and begin your job search. 2 jobs in 4 years is not job hopping.

3. AnonymousSeptember 17,2023 at 12:57PM UTC

   For the advice given of abc, that should be everybody’s mantra. The biggest concern is how it’s impacting your health and that’s not acceptable. There’s only one you and you deserve better. let’s put aside how the team feels, it’s not a huge factor. Sadly, there are a lot of bad managers in their roles, and when management is aware and does next to nothing. You have to steer your career & make decisions in your best interest. How long can you remain in that environment and function without it further affecting you. You are far from being a job hopper, you’ve remained working at companies for 2 years each. You are building your career. The one advice my own mother gives me, all the time, don’t settle whether it’s in personal or professional relationships.

4. AnonymousSeptember 18,2023 at 3:43PM UTC

   It could be the type of industry you work in. The next place could also be like this. Do you have professional colleagues you can compare notes with?

   In my field, my frustrations are shared by my fellow specialists. We are hired by people who don't understand what we do (which is why they don't do it themselves), and that makes it difficult to communicate our value. It's like that for all of us.

5. AnonymousSeptember 19,2023 at 12:55PM UTC

   Are you able to stay with your company and join another team? I was in a similar situation, but I asked to move to a different team and it’s now night and day.

6. AnonymousSeptember 19,2023 at 1:39PM UTC

   I would first see if there are other opportunities within the organization, if your truly enjoy working there. But, if there are none available, then it sounds like it may be time to move on. Back in June, I found that I was in a very similar situation. I love where I worked, the people outside of my team were great and I really didn't like the idea of leaving. But, the immediate environment had become so toxic that it was effecting my mental health and ultimately my family. I made the decision to jump and haven't looked back. 2 years isn't too much "job hopping". You've got to look out for you; it doesn't sound like your immediate manager is going to.

   You'll land on your feet in an environment where you can thrive.

7. AnonymousSeptember 19,2023 at 5:38PM UTC

   Was this toxic manager your boss before the promotion? If not, how did you come to accept a promotion under them? Were they always this way? You need to answer these questions and evaluate what are the key things you would change to make your immediate management team "not toxic" in your eyes. Do you need to inform the misogynist that their attitude/actions make you uncomfortable? Can you mention to that manager or other team members that you can see they are overworked and ask how you might be able to help by assisting on a project or taking some of their work? Perhaps they have a preconceived perception of you in your new role role or maybe they think they should have gotten the promotion you got. You all seriously need to talk to each other. Stop complaining to upper managment as they support this manager and since you state that you do love your company, you should try to develop your relationships with your immediate team rather than looking to leave the company. Jobs are very difficult to secure in today's market and you do already have 2 years with the company.

8. AnonymousSeptember 19,2023 at 8:23PM UTC

   Check to see if you can change teams and if not then either find a way to rise above and stay and help to be the change, in other words speak out to them directly about the toxic behavior or find a new company. 2 years is plenty if things are that bad.

9. Cindy GrossSeptember 20,2023 at 6:50PM UTC

   I run into similar situations with a lot of my clients. There's one person in the way - or at least that's the one big thing you're focused on right now. Every situation is different, but generally, I would start with learning more about what YOU want from the situation. If you could wave a magic wand and do anything EXCEPT remove this person, what would your situation look like? Often that leads to things like having conversations with skip-level managers or peer team managers about "I'd love to accomplish this and the thing I need to do that is" {without mentioning the "bad" person talk about the way the team would be in your ideal world}. For example, to get this project completed on time, we need a team all pulling in the same direction towards a clear vision. I can envision X {your elevator pitch of a plan}. Let them ask why the team isn't pulling in that direction and/or ask for more details of the plan - with you as a leader (formal or otherwise). Again, don't blame or complain about the manager, just talk about what you need and what (not who) is in your way. Let me know if you're interested in pursuing coaching to help you figure this out. #BefriendingDragons