My current boss wants me out.

24 Comments

1. AnonymousMarch 1,2024 at 10:52AM UTC

   Keep doing your best, meanwhile looking for another job. Have been in a similar situation that eventually turned around, and one that didn't, so hard to tell what will happen.

   You may want to try applying for contract or agency jobs if you think age may be a factor. I was recently hired for a contract job and am considerably older than you (73). Age didn't matter there - just did your background make it appear that you could do the job.

   Sometimes you land in a situation where there are factors behind the scenes about which you have no knowledge or control. If this is not a pattern for you, chances are this is not due to anything you are doing, but don't hesitate to ask for what you need at your current job.

   Sometimes, also, your fellow employees are clueless as to what training is required. In my last situation, I was supposed to train a new employee who was also being trained by the person who trained me. I discovered from something that the new employee said that she was having a similar experience to the one I had, so, while distressing, this reassured me that the difficulty with the training was not on my part. Hard to tell the motive - could have been partial sabotage, or could have been that my coworker was just not good at training others.

2. AnonymousMarch 1,2024 at 2:21PM UTC

   Keep your job, keep looking for a better job and try and get through this by being proactive, trying to train yourself and be self reliant. Now days you don't get much if any training.

3. AnonymousMarch 2,2024 at 2:18PM UTC

   I agree with others, you’re going to have to proactively set up meetings to get more info on these projects rather than wait for someone to hand it to you. If you don’t have enough training, ask for it. Out of the loop on communications or direction, ask to be added to a distribution list. Unclear on deliverables, keep requesting tag-ups until you’re back on track. If the goal is to keep this job another two years, you’ll have to engage differently.

4. Dawn ColoradoMarch 6,2024 at 4:39PM UTC

   Also gives you more backup that you were working diligently to maintain communication despite being deliberately left out of the loop.

   Might be worth seeing an employment attorney for a consult now, and get concrete info on the data to collect and how for your best advantage.

5. AnonymousMarch 3,2024 at 5:36PM UTC

   If you suspect ageism as a long time employee call it out to your leadership. I would also document everything you possibly can and push yourself into places to learn what you need to that has changed. Don't involve others but do focus on your relationship and needs with your direct manager. IF you feel that they are not supporting you you could talk to the skip level leader to ask for their help in getting you what you need. And definitely keep an eye out for new roles elsewhere or even internally if you can.

6. GirlBossanova934974March 4,2024 at 1:41PM UTC

   I would simply reach out to others in the organization and get the training you need. If you are working in the office, there is nothing to stop you from going over to other people's desks and asking......

7. AnonymousMarch 4,2024 at 4:09PM UTC

   Don’t leave. Ride that puppy out as long as you can. Do your best but don’t let your emotions take over. Collect your paycheck and it’s their fault if they are not giving you work.

8. Randi FrancisMarch 6,2024 at 1:31PM UTC

   Also let them let you go so you get atleast the 6-month unemployment benefits

9. AnonymousMarch 6,2024 at 1:31PM UTC

   An all too common story that we have at one time or another experienced. It happened to me right before my 90 day ended and it was because they hired me under false pretenses. It was a horrible job that I stuck out for 6 years!!! Older employees find this type of abuse constantly and it’s just sad. Hang in there and just do what’s good for you because no job is worth you mental or physical health - best of luck

10. AnonymousMarch 6,2024 at 1:43PM UTC

    I was in the same situation last year. Some of my colleagues were on my side. But the problem is that if your boss wants you out there is nothing you can do.

    I have talked with my boss and even confronted him about gaslighting. Nothing changed. Don't make the same mistake as I did thinking that maybe you are overreacting or that things are going to change spontaneously. Instead refresh your resume and start searching for new position ASAP. Otherwise you are going to end up traumatised and not being able to enjoy your retirement.

11. AnonymousMarch 6,2024 at 1:52PM UTC

    Hang in there and start documenting all of these aggressions towards you. Create an improvement action plan and track where you seek the training you need and regularly receiving feedback. Have conversation about performance with your manger and document those.

    Do not leave on your own free will unless it’s for a better opportunity or it’s two years from now and you are ready to retire.

    Consult a labor attorney with your documentation - even if they aren’t helpful you want to do this. And If your company moves to terminate you without accelerating your retirement or giving you a great severance then you will need to inform that you will pursue legal actions for a harsh working environment and statutory misconduct. I would start writing a hypothetical communication now so that you have it in case you need to deliver it to your company.

    The letter should include your demands, the lack of support and specific instances of unfair dealing. The idea for the letter is to let them know you are serious and will pursue action unless they do right by you as they force your exit. You may not need the letter as this is all speculative but if you do need it then you will already have it. You don’t want to have to pull this letter together when you are frazzled and emotions are raw because you were just terminated unexpectedly. Term conversations are often last minute “pop up” surprises for those that are being termed even if they might have seen it coming. You want to be equipped with tools in case that happens so that you have some control in the situation, or at the very least the semblance of control.

    Again, you may not need the letter because things work out: you make it until retirement, they leave you alone, you win the lottery, you find a better opportunity. But in case you need it then you have it.

12. AnonymousMarch 6,2024 at 2:10PM UTC

    Similar thing happened to me. Document everything. Send any communication to your personal email, even bcc yourself on emails to your boss and others. Long story short they ended up terminating me, I hired a lawyer and ended up with 6 months severance. Claimed the lawyers fees on my taxes and got a big refund as well.

13. Holly VilaMarch 6,2024 at 2:53PM UTC

    I didn’t know you can claim atty fees in your taxes!

14. AnonymousMarch 6,2024 at 5:33PM UTC

    Depends where you are. I am in Canada and was able to claim them as it is an expense.

15. AnonymousMarch 6,2024 at 2:20PM UTC

    Sounds like you may need to have a sit-down with him and/or HR, if you want to keep your job.
    As everyone else has stated ... Document, document, document everything. Definitely, start looking at other positions now!

16. Terry CostelloMarch 6,2024 at 2:35PM UTC

    Never get HR involved. Talk to an employee attorney. HR is there to cover the company’s ASSets.

17. AnonymousMarch 6,2024 at 2:42PM UTC

    Hopefully, you are documenting every action and saving those emails as a PDF to ensure you have them. However, if talking to HR does not resolve the situation and as long as he cannot fire you, try to learn what you need to get you through the next couple of years. Who knows, your supervisor might be on his way out.

18. Holly VilaMarch 6,2024 at 3:00PM UTC

    My situation was a bit different. My supervisor was supportive and great, but upper mgt didn’t appreciate my input about inefficient procedures and questions re my position. I held on bc I was really good at my job and figured that would save me. But alas, they went through my emails and found one that criticized a co-worker and said it was inappropriate. They terminated me. I hired an attorney and got it reversed to a resignation so I would be able to work for govt and get my full retirement. It was very traumatizing.

    Look for a new position.

19. AnonymousMarch 6,2024 at 3:14PM UTC

    You're being pushed out. Document everything. Consult an employment attorney. Potentially a hostile working environment and age discrimination.

20. Tami L CannizzaroMarch 6,2024 at 4:11PM UTC

    I agree with others re: the training: there is little to no formal training anymore. Employers expect us to be resourceful and figure things out, whether that's asking colleagues, relying on past experience, doing research, whatever. Based on what you've shared, it seems like they expected you to figure things out (ramp up) and when you didn't they now figure you may not be a good fit. If you are truly unhappy, start looking for a new opportunity while you remain employed. If you want to remain, get in there and hustle to figure out the job. Find out who has key info about the projects. I know this is tough; I've been in your shoes where people would not talk to me and l literally went desk to desk (or phone call to phone call) until I found the right person. Sometimes I felt like a detective, and it was so frustrating because my boss could have saved me a ton of time by simply giving me a list of contacts. Still, she was happy when I delivered on the assignment. I disagree with involving HR - their job is to manage the human resources for the company, not to ensure our happiness/satisfaction.

21. AnonymousMarch 7,2024 at 12:42AM UTC

    Tami, I was right there with you until the comment about HR not being there to ensure our happiness/satisfaction. Depriving someone (especially a protected class of citizen) from basic training or support in the ramp up process while coordinating efforts to isolate the person from information or contacts that could help them ramp up is a serious matter. I didn't go to law school but that sounds like constructive discharge, hostile work environment, or discrimination. Take your pick. I know that abusive work environments are becoming more prevalent than in the past, but that doesn't mean that we need to normalize it. My heart goes out to the OP on this string. That is a horrible position to be in. If she is being isolated from information intentionally, following bread crumb trails will not be an option to ramp herself up on the work. I have an idea. How about when we professionals witness this type of behavior we start standing up for the targets in our workplaces? It takes a lot of bravery and connections in the company to do it, but maybe that is the only way to see change.

22. Ms. S.March 7,2024 at 2:01AM UTC

    Please seek legal council and you may also file a claim with the EEOC if you believe that you are being discriminated based on age.
    Do NOT tolerate a hostile work environment. Please fight back, especially if you have two more years left for retirement. Exercise your rights in a strategic manner while looking for another (and better) position.

23. LORI-ANN BURLINGAMEMarch 14,2024 at 10:18AM UTC

    Do you have an employee handbook? If you do, have you read it? Does it include a section(s) on how to handle disagreements with your manager?

    You may also want to reach out to your HR department and explain to them that you feel like you are being discrimated against. Ageism is real.

    Stand strong ad stand-up for yourself!

24. AnonymousMarch 15,2024 at 3:06AM UTC

    I work for a small company and they're really poor at documentation. Our company policy doesn't have a a specific policy about steps to take regarding hostile environments. HR is useless. Basically the company is only interested in winning contracts and "butts in seats" to bill whatever customer they're supporting as much as they can