Rival at work.

17 Comments

1. Barb HansenSeptember 22,2023 at 2:37AM UTC

   Firstly, screenshot that Teams message for your records, and talk to your manager about his actions.

   Hopefully you have a good manager who can provide air-coverage for you by either providing support to stop this employees negative behavior or by speaking to this employee's manager.

   I would approach my manager with the same attitude that I would approach my manager if someone was treading on someone in my team (which technically this guy is doing - he's treading on your work efforts and in turn hurting your whole team).

   Lying may help him in the short term but if he's lying about the work he is doing to look good (and his mind, get a manager role or your manager role), your manager should want to shut that down.

   Now, this is what I would do b/c I can't stand people who climb on my back to get ahead ...

   When Bob (let's call him Bob) tried to take credit for my or my team's work in a meeting, I would interrupt him and tell the whole room that that's my work, and if he tries to take credit, I would have the receipts.

   If Bob interrupts me during a meeting with his opinions or suggestions, I would just keep talking and I would not stop talking. Chances are he will stop talking or someone else will interrupt us both. If he stops talking, I'll keep talking. If someone else jumps in to stop the double-talk. I would immediately say that I don't appreciate being interrupted by Bob and now that he's finished, I'll continue.

   If I hear through the rumor mill or read in an email chain that Bob has taken credit for my or my team's work, I would reply all on that email thread (or send a new email with the rumor) with the receipts that show who's work it is.

   I would have a private conversation with him (not in email or on written on teams) on the phone or in office that although I appreciate his technical help that his help on a project doesn't equal ownership of that project, and I would ask him why it appears that he is taking ownership of my projects.

   Immediately after that meeting, I would write down his responses and depending on what he says, I may follow up with an email laying out what I need from him in the future (technical assistance only).

   You choose what works best for you, and I hope that your manager can help you since one of their jobs is to help their direct reports.

2. maria roseSeptember 23,2023 at 5:42PM UTC

   This individual is definitely a person who will step over anyone to achieve their goal and probably how they managed to get that transfer to your geographic location (Canada) where you are the native resident not this individual .

   You have been working successfully at your position with this company for 12 years which is a long time and have not previously worked with a team member who was so aggressively pursuing the goal to eliminate your status in the company as their path forward as you are used to a less aggressive approach ( developing themselves) without using “bullying tactics “. You could take the documentation of the Teammates meeting to your HR and ask them directly if changes may be occurring in your role status position because of this. ( companies change staffing status structure all the time). Your main goal is to find out what your future employment status will include if these changes occur—that is if you want to remain employed with this company. Yes it is a bit upsetting to be dealing with this situation which could be labeled harassment but has to be proven, especially after being a valued member of your company. After making the formal complaint with HR, which you also verified your employment status, going forward try to avoid any interaction with this employee unless it is in presence of others so any remarks can be heard to eliminate the hearsay factor and make sure you document any negative comments. As for those Team chats, they should be on record also too. You are not going to change this person’s behavior and mindset but you can protect yourself.

   If you find that the company may change your status role, you do have the choice to either accept the change as long as it doesn’t affect your paycheck amount or seniority status, if it doesn’t require a major adjustment to your personal lifestyle ( relocation and residence) or you can change jobs completely and move to another company.

   Also if technology skills are what “makes” this person appear to better, find a way to upgrade your technology skills without their help.

3. misskelleypSeptember 23,2023 at 7:06PM UTC

   Absolutely excellent advice. Fight fire with fire and stand up for herself!

4. AnonymousSeptember 22,2023 at 5:19AM UTC

   He has made his position and intentions very clear so now you will need to decide if you can survive the attack because he will not stop.

   Is there anyway you can distance yourself from him? Have you spoken to your manager about all of this? Can you be reassigned to work further away from him and count on others for your technical support?

5. AnonymousSeptember 22,2023 at 3:00PM UTC

   You sound somewhat stuck because of this man's immigration status (he cannot travel out of Canada with many of your clients being in the US.) I agree with the other two that you need to have a frank conversation with your manager about how this person is undermining your work. Show him the conversation on Teams. See if he can shut down the nonsense. If not, see if you can transfer to a different area where he has less influence, and your technical skills don't require this type of back-up.

6. AnonymousSeptember 23,2023 at 1:13PM UTC

   Wow, that is a horrible situation to deal with. I left my job almost one year ago, it was male dominated and my boss wanted to be a Director and individual contributor. Meaning, he wanted to do his job, plus all of the challenging parts of my job. I knew I had to leave and I began an 8 month job search. The VP was shocked and I told him, I don’t know what the future of my position is the department. He was confused and he finally realized that my boss was a control freak. It was their loss, when I was finally hired at a different company. The bottom line, my boss knew how to do everything and he wanted constant recognition. It was a no win situation for me, with only one solution. So I found a different job!

   I wish you the best of luck, but working in your situation is defeating! You have to find out what Plan B is if you want to stay relevant. Have you confronted him about overstepping his boundaries?

7. AnonymousSeptember 23,2023 at 2:31PM UTC

   I would start by documenting his behaviors and mentioning to your manager about the situation and seek advice.

   He has turned a collaborative working relationship into a hostile takeover.

   I would also schedule a meeting between you and him. Try to record the meeting to understand his intentions and expressed to him that you do not appreciate his approach and tactics towards you. You can also say that you have put in filings to HR and that could impact his performance review and impact his chance for getting consideration to become a manager.

   If he still doesn’t back down, put all the documents and send it to HR for harassment.

8. misskelleypSeptember 23,2023 at 7:04PM UTC

   I'm with you for everything except the recording. In many places you need the consent of everyone present in order to record. Ignoring those rules can get you into VERY hot water.

9. AnonymousSeptember 23,2023 at 5:36PM UTC

   Take a screen shot of that and let HR know that he is doing this and gaslighting you. Be sure that you document this in every way and also do it professionally highlighting his value as a technical resource, but that he is straying into your lane trying to manage things that you do and it is undermining you. Be firm and let them know that you see what he is doing but you will not be deterred though you would encourage someone to speak to him about this behaviour and fit for management given this. As an alternative you can sit him down and let him know directly to stop. Every day that you allow this is another day where you allow him to have power, take it back!

10. AnonymousSeptember 25,2023 at 2:06PM UTC

    Going to HR is ALWAYS a last resort! Your own supervisor is always the first person to go to.

11. AnonymousSeptember 24,2023 at 12:35PM UTC

    You're a manager and he's an individual contributor that doesn't report to you. Let's take a step back and think about this because you have options. First, talk to his boss, which is probably your peer, about his behavior. Give them an opportunity to handle the situation. If it doesn't work out escalate it to higher level management. You have to realize sometimes your title carries more weight that an individual contributor even if they are a subject matter expert.

    Put things into perspective, the guy had to move to another country in an attempt to get a promo and it's been 12 years with the company and he's still not a manager. I guarantee you your company knows he's not a fit to lead and that's why he's in the position that he's in. Further, he probably sees you as the weakest link because you are so new at your role/company. So what he's going to do is undermine you, impact your projects/relationships with your clients, etc. so that he can show management how he can do your job when you quit. You're in your role for a reason. Realize the game that he's playing and don't feed into it.

12. Clydene HorriganSeptember 26,2023 at 2:15AM UTC

    Great response

13. AnonymousSeptember 24,2023 at 2:16PM UTC

    I am one of a few SMEs in my company. I too had management aspirations. Although, I never usurped a manager’s role or position.

    When our manager was dismissed, I asked to be considered for that position since I was the most senior employee, had the most experience, and the other engineers thought I would do well in that role.

    When I asked upper management to be considered for this role, I was adamantly told “no” because they are paying me to be a scientist, not to manage others.

    It sounds like you need to remind him of his role for which the company hired him, as I was.

    An SME is considered more valuable as an individual contributor than a manager to upper management, as I’ve been told for 15-20 years.

    I wish you well.

14. AnonymousSeptember 24,2023 at 3:23PM UTC

    This is what I was told for years too. Truth be told, ICs, especially SMEs often make themselves indispensable, which sounds like what you are describing. Someone who is indispensable cannot be promoted, because they are too hard to replace. I left my first job for that very reason and made it all the way to a VP level position at my next job. You may be more valuable, but you generally aren't paid like it, with money and perks like the executives (stock options, car allowances, etc.).

15. AnonymousSeptember 24,2023 at 4:43PM UTC

    There are excellent suggestions here. You might also look for opportunities to immediately and publicly, celebrate the successes of your team members and yourself. He can’t take credit for work if you’ve already credited the people who earned it.

16. AnonymousSeptember 25,2023 at 2:05PM UTC

    Ugh What a jerk.

    I hope the peanut gallery in your TEAMS chat sees him for what he is.

17. AnonymousSeptember 26,2023 at 10:02PM UTC

    Thanks everyone. All excellent advice, I must say. I did take a screen shot of his comment and filed it safely. I have also disengaged from this banter on the TEAMS channel and have stopped ccing him with correspondence with clients (which I initially promised when we first starting working together so he felt in the loop on projects we were working on). I do let him know status updates of projects we are working on via telephone now so he cannot use any info or client names or anything against me. If I have an idea, I don't tell him until I have said something in a meeting and the boss is there. So he has no idea of what I am thinking. So basically, I have diplomatically cut him off from info from me. He is on a need to know basis. As for technical expertise, I will use other resources I can find. I am de-stressing too so I don't get triggered and stressed out dealing with him. Your comments and support help tremendously. Thank you.