Advice: I don’t think my director likes me.

Anonymous

September 21,2023 at 12:44PM UTC

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Advice: I don’t think my director likes me.

Or am I overthinking this. I’ve been in my position for almost a year. It’s an entry level position. When I first started, she was pleasant but as time progressed she seemed to turn a little cold. I have made minor mistakes in my work in the past, which I’ve taken accountability for and have since corrected by taking my time and triple checking my work. My direct supervisor commends me on my improvement however, I only hear from my director when I make a mistake, which has been once in a blue. I’ve noticed that she talks around me and doesn’t really acknowledge me when I talk to her. She’s not rude or anything, it just seems passive aggressive. I really love my job but I get instant anxiety when I see her name pop up in a chat or email. Any advice on how I should handle?

Thank you.

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AnonymousSeptember 21,2023 at 12:54PM UTC
My precious director was like this. Never knew what she wanted and I couldn't keep up (it was correct yesterday, but not today)
What saved me: I kept everything and documented my days.
I'm now in a different department and she's looking for someone else
AnonymousSeptember 21,2023 at 1:19PM UTC
Everybody bends over backward to welcome the newbie, so I wouldn't take anything personally.
Unless this person is actively interfering with your work or keeping you from getting raises, I wouldn't worry about it.
How many layers are between "director" and your supervisor? The more layers, the less individual attention you can expect.
AnonymousSeptember 21,2023 at 2:08PM UTC
I believe you are overthinking. You should only have a problem if you keep repeating the same mistakes. Look at it this way: at least she notices and recognizes your work. Not all managers (especially directors) are touchy-feely with the ranks, so that you only hear negative from her is not unusual.
If you feel comfortable talking about it with your direct manager, be careful of your language. "Does she like me?" does not resonate well. "Has she given you any assessment of my work?" works better and is an open-ended rather than a yes/no question.
AnonymousSeptember 22,2023 at 5:02PM UTC
Stop overthinking this. Do your job, make sure that you ask for feedback when you do something that is outside of your comfort zone and when there is a situation that causes corrective action from your direct manager take that feedback and find ways to improve your work. Being new to your career you likely still have a fear of authority but remember this they put their shoes on and drink coffee and sleep and eat just like you. If it matters to you to connect more or to get recognition from them then do something that makes that happen if you need it. If not know that it is not personal. If it was your manager would be telling you so. As an alternative if you truly feel concerned you can subtly mention to your direct manager that you are concerned that you are doing something that puts you out of favor and is there something that you can do to repair things? They should be able to give you information and my suspicion is that the director likely just deals with their directs and prefers not to with the skip level to any depth. Let it go.
AnonymousSeptember 22,2023 at 10:02PM UTC
I don’t think that you are overthinking. I would not discount your gut feeling. 80-90 percent of communication is non-verbal. As a director level leader, her verbal communication skills should be more in line with her experience.
So what do I recommend? Schedule time with her to have a check-in. Tell her you would like to ask her opinion on how you are doing, give you some feedback. what am I doing well? What can I still work on? Being a notebook and write everything down, and then process it after the meeting for the next 24-48h. Make it a positive experience for you both.
good luck!