I received a written warning at work

Anonymous

February 16,2024 at 1:31AM UTC

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I received a written warning at work

In the warning, my manager falsely quoted rude statements that she accused me of saying. I went over my manager’s head and advised her supervisor that I did not make the statements on the written warning. There will be a meeting with me, my manager, my coworker and human resouces to see what my conversation with my coworker entailed. I am worried my coworker might be intimidated and go along with the false statements my manager claimed I said. My coworker is young and might be afraid to speak up. What can I do? I can not talk to her about the warning before the meeting. Please advise.

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AnonymousFebruary 16,2024 at 3:41AM UTC
You just tell the truth.
What do you think you can do?
AnonymousFebruary 17,2024 at 7:24PM UTC
They can use this written warning as a way to fire me. The warning is an inaccurate protrayal of what occurred.
AnonymousFebruary 19,2024 at 5:13AM UTC
Of course. This happens all the time. There is nothing you can do but rebut the narrative and hope you can recover over time.
AnonymousFebruary 16,2024 at 5:18AM UTC
Leave as fast as you can; start looking for a new job. Your boss is managing you out and will write whatever BS it takes to substantiate their claim whether it's true or not.
AnonymousFebruary 17,2024 at 11:19PM UTC
Most actionable advice of this post. Start looking immediately, you’ve been targeted as a problem employee and you will not prevail.
Kris WolframFebruary 17,2024 at 1:44AM UTC
I would just be honest and tell your side. If it gets out of control, ask to speak with HR alone. But hopefully this is a misunderstanding and everything will fine.
AnonymousFebruary 17,2024 at 7:23PM UTC
Thank you! I do not think it is a misunderstanding though. I was inaccurately quoted in the written warning as saying things I never said. My manager is presenting a highly exaggerated story to make me look bad and give me a written warning. I want the truth to come out but my manager wants to protect herself since she will be questioned by human resources.
AnonymousFebruary 19,2024 at 1:36PM UTC
At the start of the meeting state openly that you feel that people might feel intimidated with this audience and ask HR to make a statement about how retaliation is not tolerated for things stated in the meeting.
GirlBossanova934974February 19,2024 at 1:56PM UTC
2 things come straight to mind. HR should NOT be conducting any JOINT meeting between you, your manager, and your coworker. Each of the parties should be independently interviewed and then HR should get back with your manager and yourself. You might ask HR why they are not doing this. Second, you should write a formal written rebuttal to what has been stated in the writeup. Do NOT be combative. Just state the facts. Depending upon how HR handles this, I might or might not be looking for another job. If it appears you are being railroaded and the fix is in, I would be interviewing with other companies last week.
AnonymousFebruary 19,2024 at 2:13PM UTC
Agree. This is not the proper set up for this meeting. People should be interviewed separately. By HR. Without your manager present. OP, you may be on the verge of being railroaded because this is really not the way they should be doing this.
GirlBossanova934974February 19,2024 at 5:06PM UTC
Agree 100! In my view, this is one of those "he said, she said" type of deals. Unless there is some sort of corroborating evidence from a THIRD PARTY that confirms the statements made, I as HR would advise the parties involved to work things out.
AnonymousFebruary 19,2024 at 8:08PM UTC
Thank you! I will request HR interview my coworker, me and the manager separately.
JSFebruary 21,2024 at 2:38PM UTC
As a former people manager this is how issues were handled-HR conducted an investigation by first speaking with all parties separately. Everyone sitting together feels like a misstep.
AnonymousFebruary 25,2024 at 2:03PM UTC
I’m glad I read this far in.
The last company I worked - we had a problematic employee whom everyone hated because they were a bully and caused a lot of problems. After they attacked me verbally one day, I went to HR and they wanted us to have a meeting with each other. I told them no way, and they defended her. I wasn’t going to be out through a meeting of having to defend myself against someone who is a chronic liar. Fast forward. Several complaints against her later, and the company purchased - I was laid off and she’s till there - sinking the ship.
AnonymousFebruary 20,2024 at 4:06PM UTC
I'd get a lawyer immediately and follow the lawyer's advice. It is very important to document what truly happened especially if you work in an industry where a firing might be viewed negatively for future jobs. It's also important so you get treated fairly. I'd also note that this means you may have to quit soon since your manager is against you and hasn't given you any benefit of doubt before issuing a warning - it's impossible to survive in such an environment without significant reputational harm.
AnonymousFebruary 21,2024 at 2:05AM UTC
I have consulted a lawyer and I am documenting everything.
Krystin MorganFebruary 20,2024 at 10:10PM UTC
Is there a chance your manager is mistaken (overheard something and thought you were speaking, but it was someone else, for example)? Or are they intentionally creating falsehoods? If it's the latter, I'd start looking elsewhere for a new job, because this isn't a situation that's likely to result in a harmonious work environment going forward unless this manager leaves. :(
AnonymousFebruary 21,2024 at 2:03AM UTC
My manager is deliberately creating falsehoods
Christi MillerFebruary 21,2024 at 1:58PM UTC
You should leave as soon as possible. Your manager definitely wants you gone and will do what it takes to make it happen. I'm my experience, HR sides with the manager. Good luck finding a new role.
Madam anon663February 21,2024 at 2:15PM UTC
You are being set up and it will always be someone’s word against yours. Prepare.
AnonymousFebruary 22,2024 at 2:05AM UTC
I hope I can win an unfair termination lawsuit if it comes to that. I am getting my documentation together.
AnonymousFebruary 21,2024 at 2:28PM UTC
I partially agree with some of the other statements here. However, I suggest that you write a formal complaint to HR, save a copy of it, and send it to yourself. Schedule the email to be sent one hour before the meeting to ensure that nobody else sees it. This way, each of you will be interviewed independently, and HR can write a report.
But, do you think it's possible that the co-worker is involved or that the manager has already influenced them?
I don't want to sound pessimistic, but I suggest you start looking for work elsewhere. The majority of companies tend to view being fired negatively, and more often than not, if you explain why it happened. This can make you appear as if you're not a team player, guilty, or someone who starts trouble. Even though we know that's not the case here, that's how things work.
AnonymousFebruary 22,2024 at 2:04AM UTC
I already sent an email to HR with my side of the story. I explained what I said and what my coworker during our phone call. I denied the things my manager claims she was told I said that were untrue. My manager did not hear the conversation and I think she might be making things up on the written warning.
Melissa HacheyFebruary 21,2024 at 2:49PM UTC
You definitely need a joint meeting to avoid the he said she said.
LORI-ANN BURLINGAMEFebruary 21,2024 at 3:37PM UTC
You are in a difficult situation. Going over your manager's head is never a good idea. Why, didn't you go to HR for some advice?
How did your manager find out about you making the alleged rude comments? Did she overhear them herself or is she taking the word of others? Does she have any credibility witnesses?
You may want to reach out to an employment attorney for some suggestions on how to handle this matter. Check to see if you have a Legal Aid office in your community. They may be able to help you at little or no charge.
Be prepared and stay calm -- this could be a very unpleasant meeting.
AnonymousFebruary 22,2024 at 1:59AM UTC
I did send a rebuttal to HR but the HR representative is not helpful. My manager did not hear the conversation and does not have credible witnesses. I have spoken to an attorney who advised I get a copy of my employee file.
AnonymousFebruary 21,2024 at 8:05PM UTC
Always put everything in writing to CYA. If a verbal communication takes place, follow up afterwards with an email highlighting the discussion topic/points/take-aways etc. Never go above your manager and if there’s something your manager incorrectly stated in the warning, respond to the warning and clearly point out the discrepancy. Always keep in mind that HR is there to protect the Company, not the employees. If you have a complaint against your manager, that complaint gets vetted by HR and then brought to whoever the manager reports to for consideration. If possible, everyone will smooth things out .. but you’ll end up with a bullseye on your back. They’ll find a way to retaliate and ultimately get you fired.
AnonymousFebruary 22,2024 at 1:56AM UTC
I did speak to my boss about the written warning but she maintained the false statements are accurate. Therefore, I had no choice but to go over her head and report this to higher management.
AnonymousFebruary 22,2024 at 3:23PM UTC
I understand. I would follow up in writing regarding the conversation (summary of discussion). I'd state you're at an impasse and it may potentially be best for a non-biased resource to assist you two in arriving at an amicable remediation and a plan to move forward together. And end it with, you're looking forward to working together more collaboratively and hoping to improve communications in the future.
Michelle C Powell DOFebruary 24,2024 at 3:41PM UTC
Document the incident in your words.
If the reprimand is from a secondary source focus your concern’s on hear say as evidence and not actual witness information from your supervisor. Do not become combative or emotional at the meeting.
AnonymousFebruary 26,2024 at 12:47PM UTC
Uh, you're in deep s**t. The likelihood of the co-worker throwing you under the bus is real. You went over your supervisor's head, which is a big no-no. Your supervisor accusing you of saying things you didn't say is a huge "Your boss is out to get rid of you." Brush up your resume and if necessary lawyer up. You're 8n for a very bumpy ride.
AnonymousFebruary 26,2024 at 7:34PM UTC
I know this will be a tough ride. But I refuse to give up and seek to prove my manager is lying. There was another witness to the conversation I had with my coworker and she was never questioned because I am friends with her.
AnonymousFebruary 26,2024 at 11:05PM UTC
I’m sorry but your response was way more harsh than needed and says way more about you than her.
Totally unnecessary and unprofessional. I pray you don’t manage anyone.
wait - are you her boss? ;)