Need a little advice.

21 Comments

1. Michele GonzalezOctober 21,2023 at 12:16PM UTC

   This is just my opinion but I believe she needs to learn the ins and outs of employment from outside sources. Entering the job market is a new stage of life that will serve her well learning about from someone other than their parent. With that said, let her get her feet wet for a few years, see how she develops and then bring her into your employ. I had the same issue with my daughter, she is an acupuncturist and wanted me to be her Practice Manager (and bring my bank account with me to set up the business and all necessary items for an office). I said no, for many reasons too involved to put here, but I did give her initial help getting set up. She has struggled and at times it was hard. I wanted to jump in and help her. But I didn’t, she struggled, she put in the work and now she is flourishing. And she did 99% on her own. So, know that you gave her a good foundation to go out into the world, to learn, to grow, to enjoy…IMHO best wishes for whatever you decide.

2. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistOctober 21,2023 at 6:43PM UTC

   I agree with Michele below - those first few jobs are such a learning experience. She should have the opportunity to learn as much as possible - to be exposed to many different ways of doing things, different company cultures, learn to have to work as part of a team, learn how to handle disappointment and working with difficult people. So many things she would be exposed to in those first few years in her career - I would recommend you give her that opportunity to learn and grow.

   And don't even get me started on how toxic family businesses can become.

3. AnonymousOctober 22,2023 at 3:46PM UTC

   My first job out of college was with my mom. It was a great opportunity, and gave me something good to put on my resume, and was a stepping stone to new jobs, I'm very grateful. I will say, we did not work directly together everyday, so that could change things, but it was a great start to a successful career.

4. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 1:00PM UTC

   Don't do it. There are LOTS of legal requirements to have an employee.

5. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 2:12PM UTC

   I think it is a bad idea for her to work with/for you because there will always be nepotism drama around anything that happens to/with/for her from your other employees. As for keeping home and work separate, that is impossible if she works for you.

   On the other hand, if she is interested in the same type of work and you know someone in the industry who would be willing to bring her on, that would be something you could do as a reference (of sorts). It also shows her the value of networking if she is put in the position of finding a job on her own.

6. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 5:13PM UTC

   If you set ground rules up front, if not then things will definitely bleed over into personal space. Clearly you want to help her but perhaps helping her find work elsewhere if you have these concerns up front is a better option?

7. Tami CannizzaroOctober 23,2023 at 8:41PM UTC

   Huge NO. I work with college students, preparing them for interviews and helping them even decide what career direction to take. They need to do this on their own. She has access to a career center at college; she should be taking every advantage of that place right now to get her resume right, update her LinkedIn and connect with companies for interviews. Not only that but the on campus advisors can help her mock-interview. She should also connect with alumni at companies of interest who may be able to walk her resume to the hiring manager. Like others have said, learning how to navigate a job search is a huge learning experience, one that she will need in the future as well. Best of luck to her!

8. Michele ChambersOctober 23,2023 at 8:54PM UTC

   Based on your second and third sentences, it looks like you answered your own question.

9. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 11:33PM UTC

   waive off

   Mom and kids working at your employer will open up numerous challenges and possible resentful coworkers who dont think its fair or appropriate

10. MislynNovember 3,2023 at 12:22PM UTC

    I do agree because I’ve worked in that situation before. I’ve had coworkers think they were my boss because there dad was the boss and I’m glad you brought that to my attention.

11. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 6:44PM UTC

    I love my daughters but as far as working with them - hard pass. Like the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt. There would be no professionalism whatsoever. I'd think twice.

12. MislynNovember 1,2023 at 3:41AM UTC

    i thought the same thing. My parents who own the business say yes I have a hard time because my last boss had very entitled kids. One worked for us and I saw the favoritism. I don’t want to be that person

13. ChrishoggOctober 25,2023 at 12:49PM UTC

    You ask, "Do you think we can keep work at work and home at home?" Sure, no problem ... for at least the first 2 days.

    Seriously, I have no idea, but good on you for asking. What does your daughter think, and have you BOTH gone to a trusted "outside" resource and asked for their thoughts?

14. AnonymousOctober 25,2023 at 6:25PM UTC

    This is tough. The job market is not great, so it's understandable why you would want to give her an opportunity. And honestly, if it's between your offer or no job, I would give her a job. On the other hand, I have had 2 different roommates in which I also worked with them and it was not a good situation. There is a thing as too much time together. I didn't have anything to do with their work ethic or how they were as roommates, it just was too much. If you can avoid it, I would advise against. You can live together, you can work together, but both is a lot. Either way best of luck!

15. AnonymousOctober 26,2023 at 12:15PM UTC

    My first question to you would be:

    If she was a random girl coming and interviewing for the job, would you hire her?

    If yes to 1st then Second question: Can you make clear boundaries with her while you both are working? If she is just graduating, she is may have a hard time separating the two If she's never had a job before. Now, I've worked for a family business and it was aweful, the husband was rude and felt he knew best which always dragged me into the middle of the 3 owners. You shouldn't have this issue- but it is something to consider, if your daughter gets upset with you: you don't want her dragging others into it

16. MislynNovember 1,2023 at 3:33AM UTC

    Boundaries is where I will struggle. My girls are my everything and I go above and beyond to accommodate them. This one seems to test my boundaries somtamd it makes me nervous.

17. AnonymousNovember 1,2023 at 11:03PM UTC

    I probably would not hire her then. If you do not think you would be able to keep boundariesat work and let's say she does something where if anyone else did it- they would get in trouble, but with her being your daughter you would potentially change it and say "well she is my daughter... I don't want her in trouble..." so it could makes things very sticky.

    Another option- have someone else who works for you be her boss entirely and you stay completely separate of it.

18. AnonymousOctober 26,2023 at 6:30PM UTC

    Here is my two cents worth: Does your daughter have past work experience outside of your company? (either within the industry or not) Could she make it on her own in an apartment if you do work together (I realize this may not solve everything)?

    I would say make sure she has a firm grasp of preferably in the same or similar industry history (a good deal) before hiring her - not to get secrets but to let her know that you aren't going to just give over or groom her for the business.

    You know your daughter better then we do, if your gut says it can work, then cautiously try, but if not then it would be a hard no.

19. MislynNovember 1,2023 at 3:38AM UTC

    It’s a family owned business so I kinda have to hire her but she has no experience. She works at a small town ice cream shop now and does okay at that I just would like to teach he more responsibilities. He father thinks this is a terrible idea but I think that’s just be the hates me and doesn’t want us spending even more time together. She will be going to college so maybe a summer together would be nice. She definitely test my nerves so I’m little nervous. My payday yes and they are the owners so I guess we will give it a try. Thanks for your input.

20. AnonymousOctober 28,2023 at 10:49PM UTC

    Rude

21. MislynNovember 3,2023 at 12:29PM UTC

    Well I love all the insight. I believe my decision is made. After lots of thought I realize work and family doesn’t mix. I don’t care if it’s husband, kids, sisters, brothers or parents and even friends . I work at a family business like I said and they want me to hire her. I have struggled the last year and a half with things at work due to working for family and I definitely don’t need to add more family to the mix. Separation work and family doesn’t seem to work for

    my family so why would I add my child to the mix. She’s brilliant and will have no issues getting a job elsewhere. Thanks for all the advice.