Micromanager question

69 Comments

1. AnonymousSeptember 10,2023 at 11:36AM UTC

   IMO, to be you didn't or didn't felt you could use your ideas meshed with theirs. If you were charged with being creative I would have taken this as a challenge. For example : "There's so many ways for me to share with you about my role here at XYZ. I am going to be interactive, innovative in our time together and provide to you blah blah blah as well. You see, I, as you all are, individuals, you may approach work a little different than others. My manager has allowed me the bandwidth to 'bring myself' to work everyday allowing my work character to shine in my position. For example, I do lalalalala." This way you could have, and may avoided this stress you're feeling. Hindsight. I think you need to 'learn' how to work with your manager, from what you've shared, while getting to grow into you. IN all honesty, they may have seen what has worked in the past and didn't want you to fail incase a deviance from past styles may have failed. Kinda like looking out for you. I know you shared some micro-managing concerns, super valid, but this is YOU who needs to learn how to grow with your leader, pov. Don't work to impress, work in alignment with the values of your company and to grow. Different mindset altogether. Not trying to be harsh, but how you said ' not impressing anyone' really shows you were shut off to being open.

2. AnonymousSeptember 10,2023 at 1:11PM UTC

   These are some valid points and advice. A wise woman I asked for advice on this pointed out a project is not a total success if the higher ups like it, but my direct manager doesn’t.

   on the other hand, I’m not the only person in my department with these frustrations. I know others with more experience and soft skills than me who are thinking of simply leaving as a solution to this communication breakdown.

   so there’s a level to which I don’t know how to express that it’s not only my problem but something that requires meeting in the middle

3. AnonymousSeptember 10,2023 at 1:36PM UTC

   If the top leadership liked the presentation, I don't understand why the manager is concerned. This sounds like insecurity to me.

4. MelvinaSeptember 10,2023 at 11:40AM UTC

   I'm sorry you're dissatisfied with your working conditions. I've been in a situation like that before and it can destroy your self esteem. If I were you, I'd start looking for another job. DON'T QUIT!!!! Start networking where you are and continue to do as Jane Doe says. "Get ready to move forward"!!

5. AnonymousSeptember 10,2023 at 12:27PM UTC

   I have had a manager like this and there's really nothing you can do to change someone like this. You're not constantly wrong, you just have a manager who has to feel they're right. Your competence threatens their self-image, or perhaps they are just rigid thinkers without room in their head for "also good" as an opinion.

   In other words, this person is a messed up head case.

   If this is a person who has to feel great about their personal performance, you can try to make the case that the micromanaging is detrimental to efficiency -- but not on the basis of how you feel. This person probably has a low level of empathy, so don't go that route. My problem manager slowed my work down pretty badly, and I was able to make the case that corrections about important things were great, but sometimes there were "corrections" that were just a matter of style or irrelevant to the main work slowed things down. It helped a bit... but ultimately I was let go after my relationship with her continued to deteriorate. She really couldn't handle having a competent and independent subordinate.

   So... my best advice would be to find another place to be. People don't quit jobs. They quit managers.

6. Debra SesholtzSeptember 10,2023 at 1:24PM UTC

   If you love your job and and want to stay, you’ll need to find a way to work with this manager. You don’t have a do over here since you already gave the presentation, but in hindsight, maybe you should have shared your approach with your manager before you delivered the presentation. Hopefully you won’t get torn down at your 1:1. Think about how to use the meeting to turn things around by discussing how you can work better with this person and find common ground. If you understand their motivations it will be easier for you to navigate in the future.

7. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 1:23PM UTC

   Good points. Nobody likes to be blindsided, especially by someone reporting to them.

8. KimberlySeptember 10,2023 at 1:45PM UTC

   I totally understand what you're saying but if you're asked to speak with your coworkers about your position from a leadership stand point.
   Try not to think of the fact that you're not in leadership but rather how you would do things if you were in leadership. They could have been considering you for a leadership position and you not know it. Keep up the good work!

9. Sue ColerickSeptember 10,2023 at 3:34PM UTC

   I had a micromanager and at first it frustrated me. I then discovered his living situation and saw things in a different light. His wife was very intelligent and held a VP position. He felt small in comparison, so at work he tried to appear in control and thus micro managed us. Realizing this, instead of arguing my points or going around him, I learned to be persuasive when I didn't agree with his approach on things. I would say something like, I understand why you want to do xyz, however, I have observed the team in that department and found that if we do ABC instead, they will support the change and view you more favorably. Appealing to his ego and need to seem like the big man made a world of difference. I soon found that he would micromanage me less because I showed him that I was doing things in his best interests.

10. AnonymousSeptember 10,2023 at 4:11PM UTC

    Micromanagers are the worst. They drain people of their confidence and joy. They make it harder when a person goes to a new job and runs the tiniest decisions by a new employer who does NOT micromanage. The new employer then wonders why you can't think and solve on your own. There are far too many bad managers out there who just don't get it, and think of themselves first. I would get away from this person as quickly as you can. They are damaging your career and self-esteem. Just don't do what I did - I quit without a new job in place and it took much longer to get a new job than I thought it would. All the best to you.

11. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 12:06AM UTC

    I worked for a micromanager for over a decade. They finally moved on and I moved up.

    I am so glad I stuck it out, I utilized methods to manage up that worked sometimed and did a lot of yoga and meditation to deal and be patient with the rest of the frustration. I read and used methods from the book The Four Agreements, and mostly the lesson of not taking any of their actions personally.

    Now that I lead the team we are flying. We thought with the learning curve we will be behind, but the lack of fifty revisions by the old manager saves us hours and we are more ahead than we could ever imagine.

12. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 12:31PM UTC

    For me, I cannot focus with a micromanager because concentration is being broken by unecessary e-mails and messages. Anything that I was already doing or already know I just ignore it. However, I would keep track of everything that is going on. Sometimes a micromanager is looking for a reason to make a complaint againt you.

13. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 12:43PM UTC

    Being micromanaged is an absolute bugbear.

    In a previous role, my boss was constantly micromanaging me, got angry if I ever questioned him, but go frustrated with me because he something took twice as long, because I was waiting for him to check he was happy with it. He had a difficult time delegating and refused to put frameworks and training in place so that I could actually get on with my job. When I was promoted, I wrote training documents for the people I would be managing so that they could do simple processes independently and have things to refer back to should no-one be available to ask. Documents that were promised would be available to me before I accepted the position. My boss continued to micromanage me until I couldn't take it anymore and left the organisation.

14. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 1:20PM UTC

    Sooo, you're saying that your manager told you to do something, and you went rogue and did not follow instructions. Additionally, you said that your manager wants you to get their approval on everything you do, yet you didn't on this (refer to aforementioned rogue approach).

    Sorry, but you're completely in the wrong, even if the founder was impressed. To say that the "CEO seemed to think it was scrappy, on the line of malicious compliance", indicates that the CEO wasn't happy either. The presentation was not a success.

    As you get ready for your 1:1 be prepared to discuss your approach, and EXACTLY why you felt it was a better way to go. Do this factually, without emotion. While your job is to use your creativity and best judgement, it is intended to be applied to the task you were assigned. It does not mean go in a completely different direction. Is this your track record? It may be that because you've done this before, that your manager now needs to micromanage you. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if you were put on PIP.

15. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 1:41PM UTC

    She, not her manager was asked to give a presentation. Otherwise her manager would have been asked. In this community please chose your words here, the condescending and accusatory tone is not what this group is about.

16. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 2:00PM UTC

    I think you are in the wrong. She's an adult who was asked to give a presentation. She doesn't need "mommy's approval". Micromanagement is a horrible, gaslighting tactic that people use when they're threatened by the people that work for them.

17. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 2:00PM UTC

    Is this OP’s manager?

18. Elise PilkingtonSeptember 11,2023 at 2:27PM UTC

    OP was asked to give a presentation. If it's a training session with prescribed agenda, that's one thing, but you don't ask an employee to give a presentation like this one and then completely stifle their creativity. Manager was obviously angry and offended that OP didn't follow their "suggestions" to the letter. If they are sincere that OP was wrong, they will discuss calmly WHY their presentation failed giving factual and observable information rather than opinions--exactly what you advised OP to do. Subordinates can't be held to higher standards than bosses, right?

    It's true that we have only one side of the situation here, but I don't think there is any reason to leap to the conclusion that OP is in the wrong and needs to be disciplined. That says something about you.

19. AnonymousSeptember 12,2023 at 1:52PM UTC

    I was thrown off by the "scrappy and malicious compliance" part of her story. That's not a compliment from the CEO. Everything else points to her manager being toxic but she did seem to go rogue on the presentation.

20. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 1:22PM UTC

    It makes life easier with any kind of manager!

21. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 1:32PM UTC

    I’m seeing this behavior of managers lately and not sure what is causing it other than their own self insecurities with a strong need to always look perfect. There is no more room for mentoring, mistakes , or tolerance but only for demeaning and poor management abuse to their staff. It’s a sad look and seems to be more usual than not. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this and I’ve been there more than I care to. Best to you but please don’t let their insecurities make you emotionally or physically ill

22. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 1:53PM UTC

    It’s a serious issue. My last manager was a anal nut. 120 pounds of nothing but vulture type behavior. Skinny little man who played with puppets. Yelling at people and a serious loser. Someday someone will give him what is begging for. I seen better just disappear while the workers were rejoicing the absence of a dictator.

23. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 1:58PM UTC

    This sounds like my old director. She micromanged to the ninth degree. She put me on a PIP the same month my MIL passed away after weeks of hospice. That's when I started looking for a new job. She eventually termed me and gave me a healthy severance package if I signed a NDA, which I did. Five weeks later I was happily employed at a new company which is the opposite of micromanagement.

    My advice? Start sending out resumes. Best case scenario you end up happier and in a much better position.

24. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 2:01PM UTC

    I truly don’t think micromanagers can change. I’m about to leave my job for a new role specifically because of a micromanager.

    People don’t leave companies; they leave bad managers.

25. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 2:03PM UTC

    I've worked for a micromanager who also was the owner of the company and it really didn't work for me at all and I left a short time later. Several employees left as well..Too much drama and obviously lack of trust in my opinion..

26. Marcia SmithSeptember 11,2023 at 2:17PM UTC

    This manager's style is micromanaging - and I doubt that anything you do or say will change that. I'm a firm believer that we should not have to "Manage up" - our managers are paid a great deal more than we are and they should know how to effectively manage people and projects without us "training" them.

    Stay upbeat and realistic - with the knowledge that this may just not be a good fit for you. Obviously, the manager doesn't trust you and will never be trustworthy.

    I would take some time to really think about what you want - leaving may be your best option, especially if things get worse.

27. Elise PilkingtonSeptember 11,2023 at 2:17PM UTC

    You work for a manager that only cares about their ideas, their ego, their success. If at all possible, try to get out from under this person. You sound like a much more independent person who won't ever be able to happily brown-nose enough to get in their good graces. Is working for another manager a possibility?

28. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 2:42PM UTC

    Dealing with a micromanager is a job in and of itself. First, cut yourself some slack because you will not be able to be as productive as you would otherwise. Seek to understand their unique fears. It's usually about being exposed to their leadership or finding their current role difficult and falling back to what is easy for them and gives them comfort. If the former, build in check points all along the process. If the latter, set up joint working sessions on projects about which they have the most anxiety. Remember, your job is to be the arms and legs of your leader, achieving what their objectives are. Even if their objectives don't align with yours. Managing up is how you keep your objectivity and continue self care when faced with a situation you have no control over. When calm, you can make the decision on waiting it out or moving on. Don't do it from hurt and frustration.

29. Queen SmallsSeptember 11,2023 at 3:04PM UTC

    A bit more context (tenure at this company and role?) would give more insight to best answer the question. For example, if you’re new or inexperienced I can understand the need for approval but it sounds like you’re competent enough to present to the entire company and higher ups (nice work!) so you’re likely experienced and have been at the company at least a year (I hope). Your boss probably wanted you to highlight certain points to show impact. As she would be aware of the bigger picture. Why not include her perspective? This sounds like her guidance was potentially ignored. Could you have communicated your reasons for implementing an alternate course before you did that? We all act prematurely at times but it’s important to be self-aware. Your actions good and bad fall on her. I’ve always been taught to make my boss look good as long as we’re aligned and implement good ethics. If you a different perspective or questions, discuss openly. I’ve been guilty of acting prematurely and it’s not a good look. In fact, it was reflective of my over zealousness, which I had to put in check. Other times, this is a sign that something is off with the connection that can be resolved via an honest conversation. Last resort would be that a role better suited for you is available…somewhere else. These type of situations should give us introspect or push us out of our comfort zones into our purpose. In the meantime, at your next 1:1 ask her if she appreciates your creativity and judgment. What do you do well? What can you improve? Frame it in a way that conveys your determination to add value to the company and team, and to be more helpful to her. This sounds frustrating but you’ll do well, hang in there.

30. maria roseSeptember 11,2023 at 3:20PM UTC

    Suggest that you start a job search for a different company workplace where you will feel more comfortable in your approach to blending in with the company team. Rather than focusing on changing something that you already feel is not conducive to your development success find another job. You have been there long enough to understand that this pattern of response to approaches is not adding to your success development because you are totally ignoring the fact that you can’t not work around your immediate supervisor without reflecting on your unwillingness to work with a team member. Obviously you want to progress faster than you think your immediate supervisor is willing to let you progress, which I don’t understand why if you have had an ongoing work experience with them, why you haven’t had a conversation with them about expectations. I get it that you have your own vision versus the pattern of expectations already in place. So don’t frustrate yourself with trying to change the company pattern—find another job at a company that allows more individual experience on how to do the job.

31. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 3:44PM UTC

    A micromanager will never stop micromanaging. It goes from bad to worse.

    Find another position within this company, when you want to stay. Or start searching outside the company.

32. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 4:45PM UTC

    Micromanagers are going to micromanage. If you try to discuss it the micromanaging only becomes worse.

    I’ve enjoyed reading the replies from others who have a similar experience.

    Micromanaging should be a bigger topic than it is.

33. Sherry CarsonSeptember 11,2023 at 4:49PM UTC

    You are not dealing with a management style, you are dealing with a manager that has a toxic, and narcissist, personality disorder.
    This would be a fight or flight situation for you. But remember, never dumb yourself down for the comfort of others. Always shine, and be true to your talents and abilities. The right people, and position will find you!

34. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 8:27PM UTC

    I wouldn't conclude that narcissism plays a role here. There are many reasons why a person could become a micromanager, and NPD requires far more evidence than presented here for a diagnosis.

35. Rae WagonerSeptember 12,2023 at 12:56PM UTC

    This is a BIG statement based on very little information. I mean, those words are diagnostic.

36. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 5:05PM UTC

    It appears that there is a big mismatch now and they will not be allowing the disconnect to continue much longer.

    I think it's good to remember that you should not be aiming to impress the Founder or even the CEO. It's your manager that will ultimately be responsible for whether you remain part of the team. You two are definitely not on the same page. He doesn't trust your skill or comprehension of what he needs. There will be no mentorship from him so don't expect leeway or any wiggle room. You are expected to perform as he needs you to. Unfortunately he feels you need close guidance, supervision and very little room for creative decisions.

    I would try to find another role more suitable for your talents. You will no longer find freedom in this role. The company is maturing and your manager wants to impose more oversight and control over you to bring you under his supervision.

    So while you're still under this manager, get explicit instruction, ask for approval at every stage, don't share your work with anyone and keep your manager copied on all communications. Only make suggestions when asked. This guy is going to be a problem for sure.

37. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 5:23PM UTC

    DOn't manage up, teach your manage how to manage you. Sit them right down and tell them how you like to take direction, feedback and also to be given new work to do. Ask them point blank if they want to control all the letters between A-Z of to let you use the freedom and experience and creativity that you have inside of you to do your best work. Let them know that you can take their corrective action but expect it to be productive and not destructive which is has been in past. If they don't change their tune get HR involved to coach them to be a better manager and to give you space and room to do your job. If nothing changes it's time to ask for a dept change or to look elsewhere.

38. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 8:26PM UTC

    No, don't get HR involved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

39. AnonymousSeptember 12,2023 at 6:06PM UTC

    I disagree completely, your comment would suggest that all HR folks are bad and that is simply untrue.

40. PatriciaSeptember 13,2023 at 4:42AM UTC

    You must work in HR, given that you have posted this response multiple times.

41. Felicia EnuhaSeptember 12,2023 at 1:26PM UTC

    There is no need to involve HR unless you want to be pushed out.

42. AnonymousSeptember 12,2023 at 6:05PM UTC

    I disagree completely, your comment would suggest that all HR folks are bad and that is simply untrue.

43. PatriciaSeptember 13,2023 at 4:41AM UTC

    I disagree completely with your comment. Whenever I approached HR, they supported my bullying manager and resulted in consequences resulting in my resignation. HR are there to support the business not the staff.

44. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 5:27PM UTC

    I interviewed with a micromanager recently. It is not a good place to be.

    I've worked for MMs before and, honestly, I've been one myself.

    It is usually fear and insecurity, and lack of skills, that drives MMs. Hope your more senior leaders can see beyond that person and see what you bring to the team.

    Good luck!

45. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 6:15PM UTC

    It seems this manager sees you as a loose cannon. It sounds like he thinks he was brought on board to whip things into shape and that usually means no more creative license and much more control of the message.

46. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 8:25PM UTC

    Loose cannons get smacked down in some organizations. I learned that the hard way.

47. Maegan, Nike Sales Rep & Career CoachSeptember 11,2023 at 7:00PM UTC

    In your 1:1 I would give your own analysis of how your talk went INCLUDED with the positive feedback you received.

48. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 9:07PM UTC

    Micromanaging is a coping mechanism to attempt to control circumstances by preventing possible worst case scenarios. I've found it helpful to give my micromanager something to focus on, some other problem to fix. That seems to alleviate his need to control something in that moment, and he leaves me alone.

49. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 9:35PM UTC

    I'm going to be very honest here (which is why I'm also anonymous, lol). If you're already feeling this way, it's not likely to get better. I've really never had a situation like this result in less micromanagement or a better manager. It's unfortunate, but it's probably time to start looking outside the company (unless you can transfer within)

50. AnonymousSeptember 13,2023 at 12:41PM UTC

    Most important comment here

51. Rosann SantosSeptember 12,2023 at 2:27AM UTC

    I am currently in a very similar situation. I am struggling with leaving after 12 very successful and autonomous years and going out on my own or sticking it through 2 more years (until my son goes to college).

    The level of control is affecting morale and while I don't know what others on the team are doing, I would not be surprised if they were looking elsewhere. I am a bit older and feel I should be farther ahead in this particular department but I no longer take initiative because it's not worth the work...very sad, I know. I have to run email correspondence by my supervisor who then "corrects" it and then tells me to send it to the VP and cc him. It's insulting and makes me feel distrusted. I know what I am doing but that doesn't seem to matter.

    I wish you well in figuring this out and I admire you for doing what you did. My sense is that if the company loses you, the CEO will have some words for your managers.

52. AnonymousSeptember 12,2023 at 2:27AM UTC

    agree IOO%...seems like the original poster thought his/her suggestion wasn't good, so went with another approach-- that's an obvious bad decision, even though it might seem less creative...

53. Felicia EnuhaSeptember 12,2023 at 1:39PM UTC

    Many people are jumping to conclusions on very little information. From what you wrote you need to have a crucial and honest conversation about the impact your manager has on you. I also don’t understand what “malicious compliance “ is exactly and it makes me wonder what your intentions were for this presentation. I also assume your manager presents as woman but I could be wrong. Either way, you need to ask for permission to have an open and Frank conversation about ways of working. You need to couch your concerns as a curiosity exercise. Tell your manager you want to share your perspective and have your manager share their perspective and search for the disconnects. Ask your manager to assume positive intent and tell your manager you will do the same. Remember your manager is a human being with feelings. They are not an overlord or dictator and the relationship should be rooted in respect and trust. In fact after getting aligned on an open and frank conversation I would ask my manager if there has been anything I have done to break trust in our working relationship. That’s where I would start and then use the rest of my communication tactics to gain a better picture, reach resolution, and create a better working relationship.

54. PatriciaSeptember 13,2023 at 4:36AM UTC

    Malicious compliance is the behavior of strictly following the orders of a superior despite knowing that compliance with the orders will have an unintended or negative result. It usually implies following an order in such a way that ignores or otherwise undermines the order's intent, but follows it to the letter

55. Bree CortesSeptember 12,2023 at 1:45PM UTC

    I agree with MAEGAN who said:

    "In your 1:1 I would give your own analysis of how your talk went INCLUDED with the positive feedback you received."

    Give your supervisor a chance to speak and IF it is negative feedback, you can say "Respectfully sir I am really confused about your feedback, I thought you would be impressed given the CEO's response to the presentation."

    Maybe something along those lines ... ? Use facts in this situation.

56. Holly TaylorSeptember 12,2023 at 3:26PM UTC

    It sounds as though your manager has never been a manager before and overcompensating. As a manager in Food & Beverage, Hospitality and high-end specialty grocery, I don't feel the need to micromanage, as there are SOO many other things that need attention. All my staff under my purview were thoroughly trained initially by me, the correct way, just as everyone before them, in all aspects of their job. As such, I was, for the most part, able to let them go on autopilot because they were given the skills to do their job correctly. They also knew they had the support of other staff members with questions or anything else for that matter. But ultimately, they knew they could ALWAYS come to me without fear of being dressed down or schedule cuts. Even big mistakes. Granted I would walk the floor just to gauge the whole environment and see what the flow was like. Sometimes I'd serve tables or take drink orders, or hop on a register when needed. They knew if they needed me, I was there to give the support needed until things flowed again. They also knew to call me BEFORE they got in the weeds. Not everyone has the ability to manage people in certain environments. Or the skills to manage at all. And of course, let's not forget the ever so popular "manageritis" that occurs when someone is a first timer or promoted from within their peer group. It's a crazy phenomenon, but I've seen it many times. They never last. As a last resort, you could always find a way to make them quit or get fired. The latter is only to be used in dire situations. Yes, I have done it once before, and am not proud if it, but it was the best of a worst case scenario. I had a great staff that I got a LOT of GREAT work out of and ALWAYS showed up for their shifts, and it was more for their emotional protection and self esteem. You could feel everyones butt clench when this new, first-time manager walked in the store. They were never asked to do anything I wouldn't do, even cleaning the guest toilets. I respected them and it was reciprocated. My turnover was almost nonexistent for 4 years and I'm very proud of those who I worked with and for. Hopefully you could have a specific discussion regarding your feelings about being micromanage. Perhaps you may gain some insight as to why. Asking leading or open-ended questions also helps. You should have a supportive team leader. It makes all the difference in your job performance. Try a dialog with this manager. If it is a fruitless endeavor, take it a step above. Micromanaging can and does lean towards a hostile working environment, and that's not healthy. Be proactive in trying to rectify this issue. People should be able to go home after working all day satisfied. Not stressed. Best of luck to you.

57. RobynSeptember 12,2023 at 4:56PM UTC

    In my experience working closely with sr executives, the feedback you got from them may not have been as positive as you think it was. Many will say something for optics and let your manager have it off line and expect them to deal with it. Unless you know the execs very well, “seemed to like it” is probably furthest from the truth. I could interpret a shift in how my Exec was sitting during a meeting and know where we were and if it was “company wide” without pre approval, it was all bad. Last thing you want to do is embarrass the leaders or catch them off guard. That’s no-nos 101! We follow their leadership, whether we like it or not. They are in charge. You don’t have to play the game, you can find a more fitting culture at another place, but I would say going rogue is a hard way forward and pissing off the higher ups is always a bad idea. You also do not know what your managers marching orders were and them sharing with you the scope of the presentation while allowing you to work within that scope was the task, not necessarily meant for your interpretation. There are so many conversations that happen and changes trying to be made that employees do not know about. They could have been tasked with trying to change the culture but you blew that with going your own way. Point is, when guidance is given, it’s meant to be worked within. Not for you to undermine your manager publicly. We are employees. We’re paid to do what our directives are. You basically said you know better than your manager in front of the most influential people at the company.

58. AnonymousSeptember 12,2023 at 6:21PM UTC

    Doesn't sound like you hit the mark. You don't work for the Founder or the CEO. Your manager was brought in to get a job done and so I think you need to understand your support role. I'm not certain, from what you've shared, that getting creative was the assignment. I would be more aware of what is being asked.

59. AnonymousSeptember 13,2023 at 10:14AM UTC

    Everyone works for the founder and CEO. That's how companies work.

60. AnonymousSeptember 13,2023 at 1:36AM UTC

    I don’t have enough information to know the full relationship between the lady and her manager.

    If I am just evaluating this one incident about the presentation. I am a manager myself, some times, when I ask my direct report to work on something, there’s a reason why I specify certain requirements. It could be because there’s a higher level discussion that happened, and a specific goal to achieve.

    If my direct report have a different idea on how they approach their work, I would listen and allow them to proceed if it does not derail any important goals and business objectives.

    A manager setting clear parameters and a theme for a presentation is not micromanaging. If you think that it doesn’t work, you need to share that with your manager about your new idea. If it’s a pattern that they said no, then maybe they do have micromanagement tendencies, or they aren’t confident in your performances.

    For example, I had to micromanage a junior staff who constantly make lots of mistakes. My manager wanted to keep her, she’s nice and people like her enough. They didn’t see the mistakes as much as I help her fixed them before it gets into public sharing. It was draining my energy and time. She also needs many of her peers to constantly check her work and have serious language problems.

    I am sure someone might say I am micromanaging her. But what would be the alternative? So you have to find out either she’s micromanaging you for not apparent reasons, or there’s room to grow and improve on your part.

61. AnonymousSeptember 13,2023 at 10:13AM UTC

    If the end result was well-received by the manager's leadership, then what's the problem?

62. PatriciaSeptember 13,2023 at 4:31AM UTC

    If you'd like to deactivate your account, please email info@fairygodboss.com for support. Your request will be processed within 48-72 hours

63. Heather (she/her)September 13,2023 at 10:13AM UTC

    The key in these situations is to ask for specific, measurable feedback that you can act on, and for everything to be documented. If, over time, you're finding that you keep getting negative feedback but your manager isn't able to document proof of negative performance, you'll have a case to take to HR. You can also specifically push back on your manager if you get negative feedback about the presentation by asking them to specifically coach you on how to improve for next time. Essentially, they have a responsibility to coach and help you, and sometimes you have to "manage up" a bit to make them do their jobs.

    In this instance, if your manager documents that you performed negatively in this presentation, you should also document back in writing that you received positive feedback from the founder and CEO.

64. AnonymousSeptember 13,2023 at 12:38PM UTC

    "it sounds like your boss had ideas on how to do your job"

    I can't help but wonder about this too. When I need to help my less experienced team members (aka I am not a manager, but am expected to contribute to leadership by my company) with this where they are specifically unsure where to start, I try to advise them on how I would approach it. This is a conversation I try to be very careful about, because I want to convey what I would do, but I want them to hear they can make it their own. Like another commented said, if there are specific things or ways we have to do certain bits because of the client, I try to clearly express that, the why and the business knowledge of why the client would want that.

    But I have personally also been on the side of getting direction from a manager who meant for me to do it THEIR way. And THEIR way didn't make sense to me, it was confusing or I did not understand the value in it. Every time that has happened I've tried to have a conversation with them to gain that understanding or convey to them why it's confusing. And of course depending on the manner got a mix of responses.

    So I'm wondering if this manager might be part of the latter. Because if I asked my employee to do something and they got totally creative with it and did something pretty different but my CEO loved it, I don't know why I wouldn't love it. The only thing I can think of is being in a situation as the manger, where you did specifically need to accomplish X but while my employees presentation was great and cool it actually accomplished Y. And at that point I would look to myself to see what I did wrong in not communicing the intent of X to them and learn from it and find another way to accomplish X.

65. Debbie HaroSeptember 13,2023 at 1:18PM UTC

    This is a tough one. If she does this with everyone, it’s her management style and you’re probably not going to change that. If it’s just you, it could be worth a conversation depending on your relationship with her. I had a micromanager and when COVID arrived (I work in healthcare), it required her to switch her focus and I felt like I was really able to grow in my role. By the time she could afford to come back to her regular duties, she saw that I was doing my work on my own and was successful. I was able to report to her every week what I was working on. She recognized that I managed some work that she didn’t like doing which was a win-win. So I guess I’m saying that your manager needs a heavier work load. LOL!

66. AnonymousSeptember 14,2023 at 1:46PM UTC

    she needs to hear you say that because it's not her way doesn't mean that it's wrong. I completely understand where you are coming from. I stuck it out and stood my ground and had to repeat myself. it's was hard and scary but it worked. then I moved along on my own terms. good luck!

67. AnonymousSeptember 14,2023 at 6:27PM UTC

    When you say "scappy" sounds like you work for Carvana, and if so, just run

68. AnonymousSeptember 19,2023 at 5:31PM UTC

    I am struggling with a very similar situation, and it makes me hate my job...it's very frustrating and unmotivating

69. AnonymousSeptember 25,2023 at 4:59PM UTC

    I agree with you so much. I do hate my job, but I feel like I have nowhere to go at this point. So I completely understand.