Contacted about Mediation Process

Anonymous

October 28,2023 at 5:00PM UTC

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Contacted about Mediation Process

I am looking for some guidance. Our company went through some restructuring. One unit became multiple divisions, with a head over each. I lead one area. There has been friction among some department heads going back a few years, and now those tensions have escalated. There have been incidents of bullying, verbal abuse, intimidating staff, throwing people under the bus, and unprofessional behaviour. I found some instances traumatic, as did another head and staff. Senior leadership is aware. I recently received notice about a third-party mediation process for department heads, and it sounds like it is mandatory. My approach has been to be professional, to collaborate, and to ignore any bullying, harassment, or toxic behaviour. Senior leaders are aware I am making a real effort to stay above the fray. I want focus on doing my job, supporting staff, and helping our clients. My preference is to use this as an opportunity to focus on how we can work together in the future, and to not get caught up in hashing out old and current conflicts and grievances. That means the parties responsible may not have accountability. It also means incidents may continue, and that there would be no paper trail of a pattern. My sense of reading about HR situations on this board and elsewhere is that there are rarely consequences, and that anything shared could come back to hurt me instead. My other impression is that abrasive individuals develop a reputation, and that they will eventually sabotage themselves. Here are my questions. Does participating in this mediation process suggest I am guilty

or complicit? Should I be forthcoming about what I witnessed? Should I be the person who smooths things over and focuses on starting fresh? How can I handle this if I plan to apply for senior leadership positions here in a few years? Any advice?

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AnonymousOctober 28,2023 at 5:13PM UTC
Speak truth to the situation and only the truth, try not to put personal emotions into it. Mediation is intended to solve problems but both sides have to give some and gain some and lose some. You will likely be asked a specific set of questions to answer that will help them in gathering their evidence for what to do next. No matter the outcome if you have been required to attend you must. If you have concerns you could find an attorney and have a consult with them first and then they can further guide you with details that you provide them or go with you to that deposition and object when they fear you will be compromised personally and professionally.
AnonymousOctober 28,2023 at 10:03PM UTC
I agree with the other to give facts on things you witnessed personally with no emotions, no "guesses," and no gossip. You gain nothing trying to sugar-coat everything (like you said). There is no reason to suspect that you are one of the "guilty ones" just because you are asked to participate (I get the gist from how you stated that it is not optional). If your boss has your back, you are probably being asked because you have first-hand knowledge of some of the "drama" that is happening, and more likely, you are seen as a witness or a victim of it.
Ask ahead of time what some of the specifics of the discussions are, and come prepared with any evidence like emails, notes, dates/times, and other potential witnesses to whatever you might share.
Susan MaishlishNovember 1,2023 at 12:27PM UTC
If handled correctly by a skilled mediator, this process should be about exploring the issues and working together to find solutions. It should not be about blame, but if the mediator doesn’t know how to pivot in the conversation if that is implied during the process, it could be perceived this way. The process should be about discovering what the issues are, then asking the right questions to help everyone get on the same page about the underlying interests, and help you work together to find a way forward. I’d see how the mediator sets the tone of the meeting first, and sometimes they will meet you in advance of time to gather information. You should not make personal attacks during the process. Try to frame your issues in terms of the problem, not the individuals, whenever possible, and ask yourself what your interests are, not some solution you’ve become married to - there might be solutions you have not thought about yet. A good mediator will also understand the power dynamics in the room and not put you in a fragile situation. So yeah, participating does not entail blame. Use your emotional intelligence, read the room, and see if you think the mediator can be trusted to skilfully handle the process.