I’m in a mid management role and have been slowly moving up in the company.

34 Comments

1. AnonymousFebruary 10,2024 at 11:57PM UTC

   I'm sorry to hear of your condition!

   Just keep doing well at work - you owe them NO EXPLANATION!

2. Terrence HendersonFebruary 11,2024 at 12:22AM UTC

   Honestly, may The Lord have Mercy I say try to work remotely out of state the big picture you would never have to travel unless you specifically forget to say no travel try to get up every morning and be online for your career what they dont know wont hurt them to find out when its time or 4-8 yrs whichever comes first I say go for it Get that paper. FAIRYGODBOSS DeltaSigmaPi

   PS what good about this search engine you have to be NSLS to get on this portal or I should be anonomous lol

3. AnonymousFebruary 11,2024 at 2:39AM UTC

   I'm so sorry that you're going through that. Please be aware that there are support groups for these kinds of things. I would honestly keep it to myself if I was in your situation. Best of luck!

4. AnonymousFebruary 11,2024 at 1:36PM UTC

   If there is an ADA coordinator, that's who you should talk to if it comes to that. A lot could happen in 4-8 years, including medical breakthroughs. FWIW, a coworker who was diagnosed with MS discovered later it was a misdiagnosis. She'd asked for a less stressful position, took a step down, and then it turned out the stress caused her symptoms.

5. AnonymousFebruary 11,2024 at 1:55PM UTC

   A diagnosis is a guess. To give up a job or jeopardize a job now based on a guess of speed of decline would be insane. Anything can happen and you have a life to live. Why give up your livelihood by choice for nothing?

   Your health is personal. Your needs are personal. To race to speed up your situation and welcome others to make your choices is not going to help anything.

6. AnonymousFebruary 13,2024 at 1:36PM UTC

   I agree with your comment except if OP's job is toxic and contributes to her illness. If that's the case, she has to do whatever is best to maintain her quality of life. When you know you have limited time left, work becomes less important.

7. AnonymousFebruary 11,2024 at 2:30PM UTC

   Get second and third opinions to ensure the diagnosis is correct. Many degenerative diseases are the "catch-all basket" when all other testing comes back negative, as they are challenging to diagnose (unless what you have has a specific test that has come back positive, and even then, it's best to get another opinion). Then, talk with your ADA coordinator as you figure out what accommodations you need or will need. Depending on your diagnosis, there may be something that can be done now to help delay the onset of symptoms.

   Also, consult a social worker connected with your doctor or clinic to discuss when it will be appropriate to apply for disability benefits. The Social Security website (ssa.gov) has a wealth of information. Set up an account on their website. It will give you the details of all your contributions and allow you to do "what-if" scenarios on what benefits you are entitled to if you retire or apply for disability.

8. AnonymousFebruary 12,2024 at 2:45PM UTC

   I would not speak to your office's ADA coordinator before you actually need accommodations.

   The law prevents them from discharging you for a disability, but there is nothing to prevent you from being passed over for discretionary choices in the meantime such as opportunities and promotions. You are not there yet; no need to disclose.

9. AnonymousFebruary 12,2024 at 3:51PM UTC

   The note was to get a second or third opinion first, so your point is taken, but if they need accommodations (less stress, for example) that could delay the onset of symptoms, ask for those accommodations as soon as possible (and by definition would be before symptoms are "visible" to the employer), can help prolong the life and livelihood of the OP. The OP is looking at a limited time being able to work (assuming that the diagnosis is confirmed), so making the most of that time and prolonging it should be the priority.

10. AnonymousFebruary 11,2024 at 6:04PM UTC

    You don’t have to share any medical information with anyone not even your job. It’s no one’s business and they can’t fire you for that!! It’s a HIPPA act. You choose whom you want to share with and whom you don’t!

11. AnonymousFebruary 12,2024 at 2:36AM UTC

    Once again, HIPAA only applies to medical professionals' ability to share information about a health problem, not a personal choice or the choice of anyone that person has told. That said, if the doctors have suggested specific accommodations that could help delay the onset of symptoms and the OP chooses to accept those, then it is their choice to divulge that information to HR or the ADA advocate and request such an accommodation. The more significant issue here is what can help provide security for the OP, who is facing a severe condition, and her ability to maintain taking care of her children until they can fend for themselves. If you have to request an accommodation, you must divulge some documentation proving that you need it. Doctors have clear guidelines on where HIPAA ends and when they need releases from the patient to disclose a diagnosis.

    In most cases, the diagnosis is not necessary, just a doctor's letter stipulating the accommodation. Depending on the doctor, it may or may not be obvious what the diagnosis is (an oncologist is dealing with cancer, for example). Once an accommodation is requested, the OP would move to a protected class, which means they cannot be fired because of the disability. However, they can be transferred to another position if the accommodation conflicts with the job description.

12. AnonymousFebruary 12,2024 at 1:20AM UTC

    I am very sorry to hear of your recent diagnosis.

    Seek to consult with either a disability advocate or an attorney who specializes and has a good history in protecting individuals in such situations.

    Support groups, therapists, organizations might have recommendations for securing an advocate or attorney. If not, contact your local legal aide society.

    For your own mental, emotional, and physical strength on this journey, the more information you can gather and plan with, the better. Search work and disability rights where you live.

    A legal consult to discuss your concerns, rights and responsibilities, the company's rights and responsibilities (including reasonable accommodations for individual with disabilities). Developing a plan with them, "Your Plan", a

    'how to' for you. 'Tweaking' the plan along the way to best serve you and your family. As things change for you, you will have the security of knowledge and time to secure what is needed and have it in place as various issues arise.

    Legal council and advocacy can help you decide what to share, when, etc. and handling when reasonable accommodations or supports @ your job are needed and how to secure them at work. Your company already recognizes your skills and strengths, hence your upward movement.

    Reasonable accommodations aren't 'above and beyond', they are legally required.

    I am hoping this was helpful information, and I wish you the very best. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

13. AnonymousFebruary 12,2024 at 1:21PM UTC

    So sorry you are facing this diagnosis. I would take this day by day with your doctors and not say anything until you need to. I imagine a lot depends on how your particular case progresses and whatever advancements happen in medical treatments as well.

14. AnonymousFebruary 12,2024 at 5:55PM UTC

    Hide it? Your health situation is personal and private...no one and no employer can ask you to disclose your health situation. You could however think differently about this and perhaps share with your employer if it puts you into a protected class and enables you to have protections not afforded to others in the workforce. Then you do not have to worry about your situation and can focus on family and staying healthy for as long as possible. Best suggestion is to speak to an attorney in a consult that specializes in disabilities. Also have them review your employee handbook and benefits documents to assure you will not lose the current protections you have. Good luck, and be well.

15. AnonymousFebruary 12,2024 at 7:07PM UTC

    I am so sorry that you’re going through this. You need to financially take care of your children and yourself. DO NOT TELL your employer, because they will begin to make plans on how they will cope with your illness and plan for the future. Unfortunately companies no matter how ethical they are only care about the bottom line. Once you feel you need to file an FMLA claim then your job will be protected, but why file now if you don’t need to take any FMLA time. My heart goes out to you, prayers for you and your children.

16. AnonymousFebruary 13,2024 at 1:09PM UTC

    It's not ideal receiving the diagnosis. You did mention though it's slow you're moving and progressing with your company. You don't have to disclose anything until you're ready, but consider your benefits and getting any accommodations needed for your work. It's part of your rights. If they were to fire you for learning of your diagnosis that would be cause to seek counsel.

    Blessings to you and your family.

17. JoAnna BlackFebruary 13,2024 at 1:10PM UTC

    Do you have long-term disability insurance through your work? My dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in his 30s and ended up on long-term disability from age 48ish until retirement.

18. AnonymousFebruary 13,2024 at 1:20PM UTC

    I am in a similar situation, minus the children. I will most likely be fully disabled within 8 years. Possibly sooner , I have not spoken to my boss about anything of my medical condition. I pay for long term and short term disability insurance. I work in a mainly male job, and it’s a good ole boy mentality, so bringing up any indication of disability I know they would find a reason to “let me go”. I would stick with your job, if you have to take time off , tell them it’s personal, or get short term disability ins. If it is available. Best of luck to you.?

19. AnonymousFebruary 13,2024 at 2:05PM UTC

    There is nothing wrong dragging it out. Companies have all sorts of things in place to keep them going regardless of what happens to any single employee. Take care of yourself first, they will be fine.

    I would drag it out as long as I could, until you feel that your performance is being affected, at which point you can ask for accommodations at work and eventually benefit from long-term disability. If you have the financial ability to do so, I would seek counsel before asking for accommodations, so you can have someone in your corner helping you understand how to navigate the situation and document everything in case they were try try to terminate you. People note that it’s illegal… well, it is, but it still happens.

20. AnonymousFebruary 13,2024 at 2:25PM UTC

    So sorry you're going through this. Totally agree with everyone else, don't tell your employer.

21. Ashley CALABROFebruary 13,2024 at 2:51PM UTC

    Your employer does not need to know this info. If you want to share when the progression begins to impact your performance, you can do that. That will give you some leeway with the ADA and accommodations for some time.

22. AnonymousFebruary 13,2024 at 3:01PM UTC

    You do not have to disclose your personal being until it becomes a factor of you not being able to do your job and/or you are taking a lot of time off.

23. AnonymousFebruary 13,2024 at 3:17PM UTC

    Regardless of the diagnosis your health information is always protected and private... Keep it that way until something changes

24. Marcia SmithFebruary 13,2024 at 3:39PM UTC

    yes - THIS!!! great advice. It is none of your employer's business until it impacts your ability to do your job

25. AnonymousFebruary 13,2024 at 3:48PM UTC

    I am a Covid long hauler. I am in a corporate executive role and milked it until my boss decided he didn't want me anymore. I am now on a PIP. I cannot wait to get out of this toxic environment. He stole my job.

26. Leader135412February 13,2024 at 4:54PM UTC

    Keep it quiet and be as professional as you can for as long as you can. If you have to start going for treatment, Let them know your schedule, so you can still work around it. They can't fire you for being ill if your still performing.

27. AnonymousFebruary 13,2024 at 4:58PM UTC

    I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about your diagnosis, I'm sure it is very difficult news to hear and commend your concern for your kids. I'd only offer the advice to maximize your time with them and balance that with earning/focus on getting them through school. I can only imagine they'd trade more time with you vs $$. Don't lose sight of the value you yourself bring.

28. LORI-ANN BURLINGAMEFebruary 13,2024 at 5:46PM UTC

    Yes, you have responsibilities, but why are you thinking the worst? Positive affirmations can really help (Louise Hay has many videos on YouTube. Many of them are only 15-30 minutes).

    In addition, you may want to rearch out to an employment attorney. If you have a Legal Aid Society within your community, they may have one on staff (at no cost to you). In addition, most law schools will have a legal aid department that provides legal services to community members (again, at no cost to you).

    With your medical condition, you may be protected under the Americans Disability Act (ADA.gov) I have a sensitivity to strong ordors (I'm under doctor's care), and I am protected.

    Sending you love and joy as you and your family walk through this challenge.

29. RiaFebruary 13,2024 at 7:26PM UTC

    I'm so very sorry to hear about your health issues. Purchase long term disability now. You do not have to disclose your issues to your employer now. If the time comes when your condition worsens, apply for long term disability. You sound like a loving mom and let's pray that God heals you and that your health is good. Meantime start meditating and praying so that your mind is not plagued by the threat of this degenerate disease (which playfully doesn't come to pass).

30. na1102February 13,2024 at 8:27PM UTC

    I'm not in the corporate work force, so I wouldn't have any iea about what to do about keeping your company informed or not- but I do want to wish you the best and will pray for total healing for you.

31. AnonymousFebruary 14,2024 at 2:01AM UTC

    Never tell them, they'll find a way to get rid of you.Do as others have said and sign up for long term disability. Your private life, is your private life. I've had employers try to use the smallest thing against me after I got Long-Covid the first time.First and foremost, get a session with a psychologist and start to dig into your crap you're holding onto.Degenerative diseases are finally and rightfully being linked to stress and repressed emotional issues, like RA for example. There are a lot of studies on alternative medicines and good intensive therapy to get to the core of deep rooted issues. I personally took that route after suffering from Long-Covid and am nearly healed.The one mentor I had that truly understood me died of an extremely rare cancer last year. She fully attributed it to not dealing with the stress/emotions in her life, work, personal, even childhood and being an overachiever to handle her struggles.Her last advice to me was, you don't need to be the hero - pushing through and pushing it down isn't worth it, it will literally kill you...I left a job where I was being bullied. I had a mini stroke that would have been a lot worse maybe a month or two after I left after taking her advice. She stayed at the job - a month later, she was told it was too late for her after he diagnosis, she died less than 8 months later.It scared the sh*t out of me, but it's the reason I am doing whatever I can to deal with my history and heal and it's working.

32. AnonymousFebruary 14,2024 at 6:12PM UTC

    Sorry to hear that about your health. With regards to letting your employer know, I would not unless it is causing you mental/cognitive issues that impact the job performance. It is your personal matter, and until then, keep it to yourself. Best of luck!

33. AnonymousFebruary 17,2024 at 7:45PM UTC

    I'm so happy for you that you're doing this. It's funny, as women, we always take care of others. If we act the same way that men do and practice the same level of selfishness - i.e. self-care, it bothers people. Saying NO has always been a big deal to me.

34. AnonymousJuly 30,2024 at 5:13PM UTC

    Update: I'm the OP. Thanks for the outpouring of well-wishes. I have connected with a mental health therapist. I have told my mentor (who is not in my chain of command) but they agree it needs to be kept secret and promised to do so. So far, I've been able to hide the physical symptoms which are mainly tremors. TBH most people don't pay much attention to me LOL. I was asked to interview for a promotion but in an effort to try to reduce my stress, I bypassed it. I'm still facing the original timeline medically but who knows, maybe they will find a cure or at least a way to stop it from getting worse if I hold out long enough. I just wanted to thank everyone for the good wishes and advice. This is a great community!!