I am about to be offered a hybrid job that requires me to relocate.

70 Comments

1. AnonymousOctober 5,2023 at 11:55AM UTC

   I get being desperate for work, and you COULD take the risk, but depending on what you're signing to take the job you could end up losing it or even being legally in trouble for not relocating. I guess I'd just want to be sure you're not signing something they could sue you over before taking a risk like this.

2. AnonymousOctober 5,2023 at 12:00PM UTC

   Honestly, if you are not planning to relocate, I would pass on it and let someone who is in that area or will to relocate there have an opportunity.

3. AnonymousOctober 5,2023 at 12:01PM UTC

   Also, if the requirement is to relocate, are they providing these services?
   And I assume you submitted to a background check so they would know your current address...what happens when HR asks you to provide your new address as they are aware that you currently do not live there and for payroll purposes and what not, they would need your new address?

4. Explorer866631October 5,2023 at 12:04PM UTC

   Well it's hybrid and others in the group work remotely. They aren't absolutely needed on site, but yeah, the risk might not be worth it. It is hard to pass on a offer after a year of searching. I need to look into the legalities of it all though. Thank you for commenting!

5. Dr. Lucy CastroOctober 5,2023 at 12:33PM UTC

   I would not accept the Job! I believe that if your foundation is built on secrets and lies that it will not survive and will cause you a lot of sleepless nights and a lot of anxiety. Also the best thing in life that you can ever offer yourself is Peace! Good luck on your decision and I think you already know the answer but like you said are desperate and scared due to being unemployed for a year.

6. AnonymousOctober 5,2023 at 12:37PM UTC

   There are significant tax implications for something like this and unfortunately, your boss’ feelings have nothing to do with this.

7. AnonymousOctober 5,2023 at 12:38PM UTC

   Even though the position is remote, they may have events throughout the year that require an in-person visit. Unless you have advance notice, it might not be so easy to hop on a plane or drive the distance to get there.

8. Sarah StadtherrOctober 5,2023 at 2:06PM UTC

   A smart HR person will notice what address you use as you enroll in PR and benefits. You should be very careful BUT you could use a friend's address in the physical location you are supposed to be.

9. AnonymousOctober 5,2023 at 2:39PM UTC

   If the job is in a different state, it will have serious legal consequences for the business. We ended up owing back payroll taxes in multiple states when people relocated during the pandemic, without telling us, when we were 100% remote. If you have a window during which to relocate, and everyone knows you are in a different state, then accept the job and keep looking.

10. Paula Manczuk-HannayOctober 5,2023 at 3:29PM UTC

    Interestingly, I recently have read and heard several stories in the media about just this- people being fired for not working/living where they say they are. While working remotely.

    I know you are anxious to get working again, but this seems like a bad idea. I suggest you move on.

11. AnonymousOctober 9,2023 at 4:56AM UTC

    Much of that is about being in or out of the country. Part of the issue is that companies often have contractual agreements with clients that prohibit staff from working out of the country or in certain countries. This is common with HIPAA and other concerns too.

    My remote jobs have all required being in the US and talking to IT security if you are going to be out of the country and there is no explicit policy addressing your location/situation.

12. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistOctober 5,2023 at 4:29PM UTC

    I understand being out of work for a long time and needing a job - believe me, I do. The biggest red flag for me would be going to work for a boss you already know is unethical and willing to cut corners - especially corners that could have serious legal consequences.

13. Ariana MillerOctober 5,2023 at 5:44PM UTC

    This would be a very poor foundation for a new professional relationship.

    Also, if this job is in a different state than the one you currently live in, you would create a host of tax problems for yourself and the company.

    Though it sounds extreme, sometimes I think people are trying to test you to see what you would do. I'm so surprised a hiring manager would suggest this that I wonder if she just wants to see what you would say and if you're the kind of person that would be deceptive. Don't compromise. Show yourself to have integrity.

    Perhaps ask whether the relocation is absolutely necessary per company policy. If the hiring manager doesn't think it matters to the job, maybe it doesn't and the relocation requirement could be waived.

14. AnonymousOctober 5,2023 at 7:22PM UTC

    Hybrid means you have to go in the office too. So how do you plan to do that if you don't move? How far are you away form the company. Is it worth the stress of keeping up a lie? How do you know they won't find out?

15. AnonymousOctober 5,2023 at 9:39PM UTC

    I haven't, but I know people who have. I worked for a company that moved people frequently and terminated those who didn't agree to move within a "reasonable" commuting range. I had one such employee who lived two hours away, and that wasn't considered reasonable. For him, he and his wife had an RV, so they came and parked at an RV camp during the week and went back home on weekends. How far is the commute if you are needed for face-to-face work? Since this is a hybrid, you have to be onsite at least one day a week. Others are more hours onsite than from home. How do you reconcile having to give them an address? The stress of "living the lie" would overwhelm me to the point I couldn't function. I'm applying for jobs now where they are looking for people "locally" or willing to relocate, as I am looking for a post-doctoral fellowship, so if I can't commute by car or train in less than an hour, I will have to relocate to accept the position. If you're unwilling to do that, you probably need to pass. Have they stated a reason for wanting you to relocate? Are they giving you a timeframe in which to decide after you onboard, or do you have to do it before being hired?

16. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 4:04AM UTC

    They can tell from where you are connecting to their network where you are; whether anyone will care to look depends on the company.

    How would you handle the address they have on file for your w-2/tax purposes? Do you have a friend/relative within range of the office who you could use the address of?

    If you are unemployed now, you could just take the role, not move, and keep looking.

17. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 12:35PM UTC

    In addition, there is showing the state ID card, which has an address on it. If the company is that much a stickler, you can't get away with "I just haven't updated it yet" because, by the time 30 days come around, which is the usual requirement for changing your address in every state I've lived, they'll be asking for the new one. Most states require proof of address now to get a license updated, especially if they are a RealID (aka Federally Compliant ID) state.

18. AnonymousOctober 9,2023 at 4:53AM UTC

    Honestly, whether you've updated your license or not within 30 days is not the company's concern. If the OP were to move to a temporary location (short term rental) while looking for a new more long-term place to live and making sure the job works out, it would be silly to change her ID to that knowing she'd change it again soon.

    My employers have only ever cared the ID was not expired, which makes sense.

19. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 12:05PM UTC

    To be honest, that is NOT that manager's call. Yes, we have separated due to that as it was agreed and understood where they needed to live. They were provided more than adequate time to do so and then just never did. Why would you accept a job that has the requirements that you have no intention of following. People will find out. You don't make the rules. If that manager can't get it officially approved then you should not accept. Already starting off showing you don't value the company.

20. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 12:20PM UTC

    If you don’t care about getting fired, possibly being unable to collect unemployment, and not being able to get a reference from this employer when someone inevitably finds out, then sure.

21. Mrs bskOctober 6,2023 at 12:21PM UTC

    If the otffer is contingent upon you relocating then that would be a no go. However, if there is nothing obligating you to move except for the conversation with the manager I would say move ahead and see what happens. I assume you will comply with the hybrid part and show up in the office the required number of days. I also assume that you live in the same state so that your staying put would not incur a tax event for the company. Right now much is in flux with companies, management and policy changes and they can change their policies whenever they want. Be prepared to have to deal with it later once you are employed and take the job. I know from personal experience where the company told everyone they could go remote and live where ever they please within the technological parameters needed for remote work…and then change their policy and demand an office presence. It’s easier to get a job when you are employed. Make sure the manager understands and you are both on the same page. Good luck!

22. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 12:29PM UTC

    Be aware that even within the same state, some places also have to pay a city tax. I get withholding taken out for the state and city where I live.

23. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 12:29PM UTC

    How are you going to make this work if you live in a different location and you have to go into the office 2 to 3 times a week if you're hybrid? Are you saying that you might not have to go in at all?

    I'm not going to tell you not to take the job because I work at a company with mandatory RTO hybrid schedule and let's just say there are lots of folks that haven't come back into the office or did in the beginning and they either went to showing up 1 day a month or not at all. I know that it's really managers turning a blind eye on it. So if your manager friend is saying they won't check you might be ok. If you take the job, keep up with your job hunt. Be prepared for them to find out, it might be 3 months, it might be 6 months, it might be never...just be prepared. I will say now that you have a job it will be easier for you to land something else, because let's face it, it's harder to find a job when you're unemployed.

    To everyone in the comments telling OP to walk away without asking clarifying questions put yourself in OP's shoes. Being a year without a job is a long time, and it seems like they only landed this job because of a friend. While the circumstances aren't ideal, you all are suggesting that she turns down the role and faces more time without earning a paycheck.

24. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 1:37PM UTC

    People are telling her to walk away because the relocation is a requirement, and she states she cannot move. Most are giving alternatives, but if the hiring manager suggests that she can "get away" with it, and it's true, this organization allows managers to "play favorites" and ignore infractions by the employees they like. Negotiating the relocation is one thing. At least, that is the upfront and honest way to do it. People are telling her to walk away rather than lie. That is entirely different. It can add to an already lengthy unemployment scenario.

25. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 12:35PM UTC

    I did the same thing. I was offered a hybrid role and was told I did not have to move. The hiring manager was my husbands best friend. I ended up having to relocate because the medical insurance was based on the city I was suppose to be living in and so was my federal and state taxes. Needless to say, HR found out and I was made to move in order to keep my job. Be prepared to move or find another job.

26. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 12:36PM UTC

    All of your on-boarding paperwork has your address, etc. They can see your IP address/location when you're remote. How wouldn't they know? Either relocate or pass on the position. There are too many ways this can end badly, including getting the hiring manager in hot water.

27. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 12:42PM UTC

    Your address and local taxes on your paycheck will give you away. Don't do it. They could fire you for fraud and that would disqualify you from receiving unemployment.

28. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 12:47PM UTC

    When you get the offer , before accepting, I would recommend you be up front and honest about not being able to relocate. With that, would offer up your sincere interest in the role/company and how you would plan to stay engaged and productive remotely.

    How would you feel when/if you get found out and possibly fired for not being truthful? Or even if not fired, huge loss of trust. Your character will be in question. Integrity is important.

    is it possible for you to relocate?

29. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 12:48PM UTC

    The company will know, full stop. One of the reasons companies are pushing hybrid work is due to the tax laws by state that they have employees in. They have to file in every state they have employees in, hence the push back to the office and consolidation of work forces to only states where they have offices. the other comments below also raise good points re: unemployment and references. if you want to be remote, perhaps look at taking the role as a consultant where you aren’t bound by the employee handbook.

30. Julie BrauneisOctober 6,2023 at 12:50PM UTC

    I would not like if a company lied to me up front and I wouldn't lie to them either. It's bad juju.

31. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 12:53PM UTC

    I understand you need a job however I can’t believe starting ourt with a lie is a good way to go it will diminish your integrity and honestly would you feel good about it ?you can be fired if you lie and they catch you there are many ways they can catch it then yiu would have to explain why you were fired. It’s just not worth it to me starting off on a bad foot

    look for a job that won’t require you to lie .

32. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 12:54PM UTC

    I have terminated an employee for this same thing. Gave her more than a year to relocate and she kept stringing me along…”oh, we’re looking…there’s nothing on the market…etc.”. It was obvious she had no intention of ever moving, even though the role was contingent upon her living in the city where the company is located AND she’d been provided a five figure stipend to move when hired. I finally gave her a definitive deadline and terminated her when she didn’t meet it.

33. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 6:07PM UTC

    In the meantime she collected a salary and built her resume. Maybe she couldn’t find anywhere to live.

34. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 12:56PM UTC

    Are you able to fulfill the requirements of the position living at your current location? If the company decides to analyze your location, will there be a problem? If you can do the job, say so. If concerns exist, say so.

35. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 1:07PM UTC

    I second all of the replies here except I’m less forgiving of the hiring manager. What kind of recruiter doesn’t know about tax and insurance basics? And what kind of person encourages your dishonesty? It might be a red flag about the kind of company this is.

36. Focused931221October 6,2023 at 1:35PM UTC

    Honesty is always the best policy- especially upon accepting a job offer. This is your time to set expectations bi-laterally. If you’re the right candidate; they can make exceptions. Understand their reasoning for why they want you to relocate for this role. Then it’ll be easier for you to tackle each of their concerns.

37. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 2:20PM UTC

    I have a friend who tried this and was found out and lost her job. She,managed to get away with it for 6 months.

38. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 4:42PM UTC

    I would have no problem taking it. Just never stop looking in case they ever find out - always have a way out.

39. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 4:52PM UTC

    Uh, the payroll department will know where you actually live by how they take out state taxes. And, if something blows up at the company, your situation could be brought in as collateral damage. Then finding a new job will be even harder as you willfully lied to get said job. This will not end well! And, it will end!

40. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 5:14PM UTC

    OP here...I really appreciate all of your comments! So many things that I didn't even think about, especially the tax implications of living out of state. I don't sit well with the dishonesty of it all as well. Like I said though, I am desperate and a paycheck sounds great to me. I suggested coming in as a remote contractor and possibly securing a permanent position as a remote employee in the future. Fingers crossed! Again...thank you all so much for your support and wise input!

41. Julie BrauneisOctober 6,2023 at 6:08PM UTC

    also, and just a thought in case no one else said it, you would be putting your friend in a tough position. If found out, she could lose her job.

42. BNOctober 7,2023 at 2:47PM UTC

    I think you made a good choice. You could pull it off with this address in that state but then you are going to be paying the state's taxes and the travel back and forth would be on your dime. They're required to pay payroll tax, worker's comp, unemployment etc in that state.

    If you do opt to not disclose just know that there may be a significant difference between states for unemployment

43. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 6:06PM UTC

    A few things to consider (on top of the honesty policy which I agree with) - if you are in a different state, that could pose an issue with state payroll taxes (as you pay taxes for the state they think you live in) and with benefits, you may have issues using out of state benefits. If you have to get together for onsites, you may have trouble getting reimbursed for a longer trip. If you're in the same state, it would be much easier.

44. AnonymousOctober 6,2023 at 11:11PM UTC

    Skeptical. Hiring manager can say one thing today and change her mind tomorrow to cover her butt

45. DCOctober 7,2023 at 2:13PM UTC

    Get it in writing.

46. AnonymousOctober 7,2023 at 4:44PM UTC

    Exactly!! If the recruiter says "no need trust me" then RUN

47. Crystal HowellOctober 7,2023 at 2:07PM UTC

    I think you should call employment office in your county, a friend of mine had same situation, and the company had to pay severance, since relocation wasn't in the contract?

48. KathyOctober 7,2023 at 3:22PM UTC

    In my mind a hybrid job with requirements to relocate means they plan to change their policy at some point to require employees to be in the office every day. What would you do then, quit? The stress of being 'found out' and the subsequent fallout isn't worth it.

49. Monette AndersonOctober 7,2023 at 3:58PM UTC

    This seems super sus. They’re going to know. Employment laws and tax issues for payroll vary greatly state to state. They’re going to know based off your w2. This seems incredibly short sighted and bad advice

50. AnonymousOctober 7,2023 at 4:44PM UTC

    firstly, DO NOT discuss your election to "not move" with anyone, and esp the hiring manager at the company. Um...no! Secondly, you "can" keep your current address and even list this on your W2- who says you cannot commute into the office, when required, and stay with a friend or relative? In other words, you have a "right" to keep your current residence. And unless the company is paying you 20K or more to "relocate" and are "requiring" the relocation, you can get to work (when required) any way you need to. You can stay in a cheap hotel one night /week...if you have to, and you want to reside in your current home. So...I would just keep quiet and take the job. Assuming you DO REALIZE that a hybrid position will expect you to be IN OFFICE at times. Good luck.

51. AnonymousOctober 7,2023 at 7:09PM UTC

    That’s the very definition of hybrid, in office requirement at times. I don’t think anyone said she couldn’t do what you said, the poster is saying they don’t want to and won’t do it, their lack of integrity.

52. Rosa GoesOctober 8,2023 at 7:00PM UTC

    That sounds like a a lot work, anxiety, and stress. I don't think that's a good idea.

53. Sue Gordon- retired Career CoachOctober 7,2023 at 5:02PM UTC

    I fall in the camp that it's possible that this has to do with paying your state income taxes if this company is in another state that is not set up for it. It can be an issue. And if that's the case, they will find out. Cause they need to indicate your state on your W2 and withhold taxes appropriately. If you are in the same state, well, it's all too dicey for me.

54. AnonymousOctober 9,2023 at 2:08PM UTC

    I work in a different state than in which I reside. Many of us do here since the company is very close to the state line. My company takes taxes out in the state they are located in and it is my responsibility to file in the state I reside. It's not a big deal tax wise.

55. Sue Gordon- retired Career CoachOctober 10,2023 at 1:05AM UTC

    Where I live, DC region, it's not a big deal if you are in DC, MD or VA, or even PA. It is a bigger deal if they send her payroll taxes to the wrong state. And we don't know where she lives or if this is a big deal to the employer. My last employer wouldn't consider employees for remote jobs in states they didn't already have relationships with. The bigger deal, as discussed by many replies, is her integrity. If she tells them she'll relocate, then gives false information for her address, it won't end well for her.

56. AnonymousOctober 7,2023 at 5:52PM UTC

    Integrity is the issue here! A company wants someone who can be trusted. Look at your integrity; or lack thereof. If you have not asked them if you could remain in the State you currently reside, I would ask them to consider. I also agree with the other posts regarding employment laws and income tax reporting requirements of the company.

57. Rosa GoesOctober 8,2023 at 6:57PM UTC

    I believe they will find out if you don't relocate. Home address is typically listed on paystub. Since it's been over a year for you without a job, I highly recommend you consider the offer and relocate. You are very lucky to receive an offer under the circumstances.

58. AnonymousOctober 8,2023 at 11:32PM UTC

    OP here...there's no moving allowance, so that isn't an issue.

59. AnonymousOctober 9,2023 at 4:47AM UTC

    Companies and managers lie all the time. The OP is being put in a stupid position that could be solved by a fully remote arrangement with occasional travel to the office.

60. AnonymousOctober 9,2023 at 4:48AM UTC

    That or the friend was desperate in a bad economy.

    Companies lie all the time with no repercussions.

    If it was rock vs hard place situation, I'd understand a friend doing it.

61. Archana AgarwalOctober 9,2023 at 5:41AM UTC

    I strictly recommend not to compromise on your integrity. if and when your lies get caught nobody will stand by you and it will dent your reputation in the job market. If you need the job desperately please relocate and impress your employer with your performance. Maybe after some time they will understand your practical problem and relocate you if your performance is good.

62. AnonymousOctober 9,2023 at 11:44AM UTC

    Negotiate for a remote classification or move on. If she isn't worried, she should do the work on the front end.

63. Vivian HwaOctober 10,2023 at 1:52AM UTC

    Get it in writing, make sure in office requirements and expectations are clear and documented and agreed upon. Too many misunderstandings, botched paperwork, unforseen issues can arise when you are caught in the middle of commuting and travel logistics. While they might need to know the truth, if they think you are normally located at x and offer benefits or schedule based on that belief, you might shoot yourself in the foot if the truth is otherwise.

64. RiaOctober 10,2023 at 7:36AM UTC

    It's concerning that the hiring manager is encouraging you to lie. This is not someone I'd be comfortable reporting to. They will find out that you didn't relocate. If you're working from home you have to use the company's VPN and IT will know exactly which state you're logging into. I've seen people let go for lying about this. At the end of the day your character and integrity is important. Temp until you find something permanent. Its not ideal but at least you'll have a check. Pray you find something soon.

65. Sharon LewisOctober 11,2023 at 6:21PM UTC

    Given today's social climate, might she even be open to legal action for taking a salary under false pretenses?

66. Debra OgstonOctober 10,2023 at 2:27PM UTC

    As an HR leader and a business owner, I would never consider or advise taking a job under false pretenses. It's a matter of personal and professional integrity. It may last for a while, but at any point, your acquaintance who is willing, today, to "overlook" this may determine it's not in her best interest to consider to do so, or may move out of that role, and your next boss may not be willing to ignore the fact that you accepted the job under false pretenses.

67. yvette finley PHROctober 11,2023 at 12:33PM UTC

    Don’t take this position

68. Farah BajwaOctober 11,2023 at 12:42PM UTC

    In my current role, officially the job was for a completely different county than where i was living but my hiring manager didn't have a problem that i didn't want to move. Its her team so she has the power to modify this requirement.

    My opinion is that you seem to have nothing to lose - you're not moving so,

    what's your best case scenario? you have a job and making money

    what's your worst case scenario? you're back to being unemployed looking of new opportunity.

69. Kelsey BurnesOctober 11,2023 at 5:34PM UTC

    Red flags! My advice, 1. don't start off dishonest with a company and 2. your potential boss should not be suggesting that. It shows their culture could be filled with dishonesty which could bite you in the bum later on..

70. Sharon LewisOctober 11,2023 at 6:43PM UTC

    Can of worms with so many implications to consider; unemployment benefit rates also vary widely by state - see section: "Special Sources of Wages or Types of Employment" -

    https://www.twc.texas.gov/programs/unemployment-benefits/eligibility-benefit-amounts